Tag: a good death
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What The Lack Of End Of Life Planning Really Costs
I want to share a deeply personal story. At the time of his death my daughter’s father and I had been divorced for four years. During our 23 year marriage, because of my career, we always had open discussions about dying and death. We were open with our daughter about death, never shielding or protecting […]
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To Tell, Or Not To Tell The Children, There’s No Question
It is our job as parents to protect, nurture, and guide our children into whole human beings. It is our responsibility to do this to the best of our ability. If we do it right, the parenting role will take us outside our comfort zone more often than it doesn’t. Sometimes stretching us into improved […]
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A Dialogue About Death
Every story ever written has a beginning, middle and an end. Every author considers the end when first sitting down to write a storyline; However in the greatest story an individual will ever author, the end is often left unscripted. We can’t write death in on our calendars and begin to plan when it seems […]
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The Importance of Emotional Estate Planning
True or False? “I’m not sick. I have plenty of time to do my emotional estate planning.” False. While it is never too late to start emotional estate planning, it is also never too early. Emotional estate planning should not be reserved for those suffering a terminal or chronic illness who are nearing death. Just […]
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The Power of Presence
It was a Monday, like any other Monday and I had a new patient to assess. Talking to the hospice nurse before I made my visit I learned that Violet had been admitted on Friday in stable condition was expected to be with us a few weeks. The nurse thought I would find her delightful. […]
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When Death Comes – An End of Life Doula Perspective
Early on Life taught me that it had a set of bookends named Birth and Death. I was not afforded the luxury of death denial. I understood clearly that death was always part of the deal. This perspective impacted my life in a deep soulful way. A way that made me seem odd in the […]
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To Those Who Would Shame Me
When I first posted in a local facebook group the announcement of the Clarkston Death CafĂ©, the very first comment was “Making money off people’s grief and suffering. You should be ashamed of yourself.” My first reaction was one of anger. “How dare you shame me, sir!” My second reaction was confusion because there is […]
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Isn’t That What Hospice Is For?
I spoke to a hospital chaplain the other day to speak to her about my end of life doula services. Her initial response to me was, “that’s what we have hospice for.” If you haven’t already, pause here to read https://willowsongmedicine.wordpress.com/2019/09/08/the-elephant-in-the-room-is-dying/ which gives relevant facts related to the systematic underutilization of hospice services and late […]
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Why I Am Not Called A Death Doula
‘Death Doula’, while I love alliteration, has the feel of ‘Angel of Death’…and that couldn’t be further from the truth. While the end of life doula profession is being modeled after birth doulas, that is where the similarity ends. A birth doula begins her work at the birth. There would be an introductory meeting, but […]
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It’s Not My Death
1990 was the year of magical changes in my life. As is usually the case though, I couldn’t know it at the time. I had been married a little over one year and my beloved grandmother had just died. I was 25 years old and working in a job that had nothing to do with […]