It Always Comes Down To Choice

There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle. ~Albert Einstein

This simple quote affected me in quite a magnanimous way. Suddenly, everything made sense. It all comes down to what we choose to see.

Today I was in Meijer, grocery shopping. I’ve had a stress-filled couple of days including 9 hours in the car. I didn’t feel like showering or putting on make-up but we needed food. So, I threw on a tank top, some yoga pants and ran a brush through my hair.

As I walked through the store, I noticed how my body is moving differently. With all the foods I’ve eliminated, the inflammation in my body is also being eliminated. I notice muscles that seem to have been too paralyzed to move before. I notice how I walk differently, using different muscles, standing straighter…feeling straighter.

As I gathered the items needed I was also creating a recipe in my head. A roasted garlic cheese dip, to be exact. I hadn’t found a recipe that sounded quite right, so I’m creating it in my head as I shop, hoping it will be finished so I can gather all the ingredients.

One of the things I love about Michigan is the people are so nice here. More noticeably so than anywhere else I’ve been. I love making eye contact, smiling and exchanging greetings. Everyone this morning seemed to be particularly engaging.

I was walking through the store, with my recipe creating in my head and also thinking how really awesome Life is, and how the Universal Laws are always in effect…even if you don’t believe they exist. I had such deep gratitude and admiration for how things have shown up at my life, at just the right time as I’ve become more in alignment. All pieces have to be in place in just the right order for them to be most effective. But the beautiful thing is, you don’t have to know what that order is, you just have to work on your alignment and they fall into place!

Everything in Divine Timing. You might want to work on one thing, not realizing that something else, or multiple things, need to be aligned before that original thing.  It might be months or even years before that thing sees results, which can be disheartening if you aren’t paying attention to all the other issues coming into alignment.

The past 4 years I’ve been on a roll, even though it hasn’t felt like it. This year though it is quite evident, and I can see exactly why events needed to take place exactly as they have. Exactly.

Back to Meijer…as I was standing in the baking aisle, attempting to find sugar free chocolate chips with no artificial sweeteners, it happened. One of those crystal clear revelations. I was standing, staring at the shelves of baking chips, when this woman interrupts me to tell me about this great mixed nut find she uses as an alternative to other nuts for baking crusts.

She just started talking to me. She didn’t ask me a question about what I was looking for or what I was baking. She just offered her expertise. I found myself wondering why she chose me to reveal this secret to. I have no interest in this information at this point. I’m not even looking at the nuts.

And then I thought, “I’m really glad that I am someone with whom others want to share their experience. I’m glad she felt comfortable sharing this with me.” She was brief, didn’t take up much of my time (though time surely slowed down for all this awareness to happen.)

And in that moment, I realized I had made a choice.

I could have been annoyed or I could be grateful.

I was crystal clear on that moment when someone makes that choice. It was as if I was out of my body watching the whole encounter.

Is this one of the surprising side effects to being in alignment? It’s so strong that others are compelled to engage with you? As an empath I’ve always been someone with whom others share personal stuff rather easily, but it hasn’t always been healthy. I remember once, being trapped by a woman in a Kohl’s bathroom because she had positioned herself between me and the door and wouldn’t stop telling me about her life problems. My friend actually came to find me and pull me out after a half hour of waiting for me. But this doesn’t feel like that. This feels like something else altogether. This feels magical. It feels like a reward; sweet, kind and without boundary violations.

Life is an illusion of our own creation. That’s it. In a nutshell. You can either paint with all the colors of the pallet or stick with brown and black. It’s completely up to you. Everyone gets the same pallet, but a different canvas; it’s up to you to choose what colors go on that canvas.

monochrome photography of frames
Photo by Jimmy Chan on Pexels.com

My friends used to call me the Queen of Reframing…and I am, I suppose. Have you ever picked out a piece of unframed art? You fall in love with this piece on canvas and then begin looking for the right frame to really bring out the parts you love about the piece. The frame changes your experience of that painting. The right frame can turn a simple insignificant piece of art into a masterpiece. Of course, the opposite is also true. It can completely ruin a piece and make it undesirable. 

Framing is an art.

So (as it so often is in my writings) it is in life. At any point we have the choice of which frame to put on a particular painting.

When I get up every morning I choose the types of frame at my disposal. So when that lady approached me in the grocery store, it wasn’t random. That frame is in my energy field which communicated a resonance with her. This is how she knew it was safe to share with me. I walk through my life with that energy following me, preceding me and surrounding me.

The really beautiful thing is that it has a blossoming effect. You start with the mindset…that choice of frame. That leads to an improved vibration which feels good. This goes out into your energy field and resonates with other like-vibing things (people and events), which draws them to you. These improved experiences resonate with you on a higher vibe which feels good and improves your mindset. You then respond with an even higher vibration and the cycle starts all over again.

This is how it works. Life. It’s what people mean when they say you get back what you give out. It isn’t about usurping the natural process of life that ebbs and flows. It is about maximizing those flows and managing those ebbs, though.

It is how you make the most of life.

And that is where I shall leave you for today. In the very magical place of choice.

I love you.

~Jade

 

 

Let’s Talk Communication

Wow. I really struggled with this one this week. Did I want to do a video or a post on it? I might just end up doing both, so watch for it!

Every where I turn it seems there is miscommunication happening.

More than a handful of times in my life, I’ve been accused of getting hung up on semantics or belaboring a point, because I endeavor to understand what you are saying in the most crystal clear way possible. I have been tagged an ‘over analyzer’ as well, because, again, I want to understand.

Is this easy? No.

Is it working for me? I’d have to say yes.

While I may have accusations tossed at me and annoy some people, more often than not I can turn a misunderstanding around quite quickly. This proved invaluable in my work as a therapist working with couples and families as well as individuals seeking to have a perspective shift.

I have developed conflict resolution policies and protocols for companies. I have presented communication seminars as a form of conflict prevention. (Conflict and disagreement are not the same thing.) I include communication guidelines/tips in all the work I do. These are all indicators that its working for me.

You know how I know that not being crystal clear isn’t working for others? I see suffering. I see people end working relationships because of unexpressed expectations. Situations where a simple conversation could’ve opened up and expanded the relationship, they’ve chosen to abruptly dissolve it.

This is what I saw just this week. Someone who had hired a good quality service for months, suddenly ended the relationship without discussion. When inquired about it, several issues were revealed that had not been discussed earlier. This person dismissed the offer to have an open dialogue about their disappointments. I observed two people having a conversation with opposing views and one person deciding the conversation was disrespectful, where I saw open dialogue happening.

What makes it so hard to communicate? Why do you not want to put in the effort? Yes, it can be uncomfortable. Sometimes because you are vested in being ‘Right’. But usually because you are used to making a swift judgment and carrying out the sentence immediately, instead of taking some time to process what is actually going on. This is reactionary. Its knee jerk, ‘jerk’ being the keyword there. It is not on the path to your highest best self and life.

Talking through unmet unexpressed and even unrealistic expectations serves you better in the long run. You aren’t continually running through employees, friends, jobs, coffee houses, social media groups, etc.

I cannot tell you how many situations I’ve turned around simply by asking more questions to clarify intent. 90% of discourse has been discovered to be merely a misunderstanding of intention, quickly resolved with a ‘did you mean?’ And/or a ‘that was not my intention at all.” This has resulted in far superior relationships going forward.

This week that was not my experience, however. My personal experience with a vendor at the local Farmer’s Market, left me bewildered. This person was not open to my questions, nor even to my ‘oh no that was not what I was saying at all, in fact, quite the opposite.’ He was too involved in creating his little world of drama and discourse. He talked over me, cut me off and dismissed me. He wasn’t listening to what I was actually saying, but rather on what he thought I was going to say.

Not a way to keep a customer. No matter how many attempts I made to resolve the issue he was not hearing me. It got to the point where I returned the item I bought, asking for a refund because I didn’t want that energy anywhere near me.

I walked away in self-reflection, because I know I invited that on an energetic level. I learned what to do and not to do next time I have a whiff of someone vested in conflict.

I still was left to ponder the situations where I was a mere observer. Where others were accused of being ‘mean and nasty’ merely for expressing a differing viewpoint and wanting to discuss it. And where a mutually beneficial relationship ended because one doesn’t see the value of communicating concerns or questions.

I did what I could in the latter, which was to allow the willing one to process, self-reflect and learn from the situation (like I had done with the vendor). We used this experience to make some changes to their business practice, because this situation did highlight something that could be done better. In that respect this was a blessing, despite the loss of the business relationship.

In the former case, I’m still percolating. Not sure there is anything to do. The situation stopped escalating, but not really resolved. I like a nice clean bow on things. I believe in nice clean bows! But I respect my brothers and sisters who don’t. So, I will let it just be, as is.

Just for discussion’s sake, let’s explore the differences between conversations, disagreement, conflict and conflict resolution.

Conversations: participants equally sharing their views – similar or different – showing respect for each other.

Disagreement: two opposing views expressed.

Conflict: a power struggle between two parties with opposing views.

Conflict resolution: a structured intervention designed to incorporate a basis of communication techniques that allow the situation to go back to a conversation.

Conflict is not a necessary component of life. It is inevitable, because there are always those who are invested in being right, ie: changing someone’s mind. It is not necessary, however.

The fullness of life is experienced when we have differing viewpoints expressed in rational and calm fashion. It might go something like this…

A: “I see this.”

B: “I see that.”

A: “Interesting. How do you see that?”

B: “I see it ……”

A: “Ok, I follow that (or maybe I don’t), but then how does that fit with ….?”

Super short, but it makes the point that the emphasis is on understanding the other’s point of view, not on proving yours nor making them prove theirs. Agreeing or disagreeing doesn’t even have to come into play when you are trying to understand someone else.

Oh…understanding? The key to better communication? Its also the key to a better life. Interesting.

I love you.

~Jade

Alignment: My Best Advice

I have so much rattling around in my brain, I don’t even know where to start. I’ve been traveling the past several weeks and so much has come to light that I want to share. The ideas are coming in so fast I have not been able to sit down to write any of them down.

As I sit and let things marinate, it all comes down to one thing; alignment. The best advice I can give anyone is to work towards alignment in your life. For those who are unclear, the goal is to align your energetic vibration of your mind with that of your Soul. Making decisions that bring you closer to your highest self and head you towards the best version of yourself.

Why is that the best advice I have to offer?

Alignment/misalignment affects absolutely every aspect of your life. Every. Aspect. On my travels these past weeks, I’ve encountered those aligned and those misaligned. Those misaligned age poorly, engage in unhealthy behavior, have poor relationships, encounter health challenges and suffer with mental health issues. It probably goes without saying but their stress level is off the charts.

If you are online exploring the world of self-development then you are no stranger to the myriad of various ‘coaches’ around. It seems as though everyone is getting certified as some kind of coach. Don’t let this recent surge of coaches fool you. You can’t measure alignment by material gains. Alignment does not show up as new cars, big houses, new relationships or money in your bank account. I mean, those things can show up when you are in alignment, but those things alone do not symbolize alignment. We all know individuals with nice cars, nice big homes, lots of money in the bank, who are miserable. Do you think that is alignment? Why then do you fall for the tactics of coaches marketing ploys of professional pictures and statements of “I did this and manifested alllllll this” type of hype???!!!

I’ve been following some of these coaches a long time. A long time. You can watch them to. Do it. Watch someone before you hire them and see how inconsistent they are. I’ve seen those who have ultimately confessed to alcoholism, domestic abuse, drug use, other addictions etc. months – some even years – after they have been promoting themselves as coaches. Some just blatantly misrepresent their accomplishments or ‘exaggerate a little’ for marketing purposes. There’s more to being a coach than having survived something. You have to have actually overcome your demons. Not just one of them but all of them.

Now someone is going to tell me that isn’t possible. But it is. There is a difference between demons and issues. We always have issues to work on, that is true, but our demons are something altogether different. You have no business being a coach if you still have demons. It goes without saying that if you have demons you are not aligned.

four rock formation
Photo by nicollazzi xiong on Pexels.com

Alignment is measured by the presence of a being. An aligned person has quality relationships, engages in healthy behavior, looks younger than their age, remains present in the now and has a life full of love. This will bring you more abundance in unlimited ways than any other ‘formula’ someone wants to sell you.

I will tell you this, too, the kryptonite of alignment is safety. If you are making safe decisions -decisions designed to safely deliver an expected outcome- you are not making decisions that will bring you to alignment.

I have those around me who have done the ‘safe’ thing all their lives and they have nothing to show for it. Yes, they have nice bank accounts, marriages/relationships and nice houses, but they have lost the Light out of their eyes. That Light that comes from a Soul so in touch with its host that it can’t help but shine out!

I have done everything these people cautioned me not to do. Every. Thing. Yet, now these same people are telling me how my eyes and smile look different than they did just a few years ago. If I’m honest I can see it too, in the mirror. It’s my Light.

Alignment.

That’s what I’m doing. And everyone can do it. All you need is the discipline and determination to follow through on your intention. If you need assistance in doing that, understandable. Don’t fall for advertising though. Do your due diligence and really listen to what someone is saying and watch them for awhile before you hire them. Watch them for at least three months and note any inconsistencies.

In the meantime, make decisions that make you feel brighter, not darker. Ask yourself if this is bringing you closer or further away from your highest self. Do you even know? If you can’t tell, you could probably benefit from hiring someone to jump start your transformation.

Alignment would be the most natural thing we do, but for those along the way who sell us a bunch of goods intended to take us further and further away from alignment. Why? Because it is easier to control someone not in alignment. They are easier to manipulate with fear. Someone in alignment will never participate in something just because every one else does it. They do not get caught up in mob mentality. They don’t fall for fear based propaganda. They know what is true in their Soul. They know what resonates at a high vibration. They know.

Alignment is the most powerful health and beauty technique available, yet millions of dollars a year are spent at department and drug stores for anti-aging, weight loss and beauty products.

No man made product can replace the Light in you that has gone out.

In alignment we find peace in the most chaotic environments. It won’t matter what is going on around us because we know the truth. We know that a steady boat can weather rough waters. A boat with sails flapping and an unsteady hand at the helm, cannot navigate rough waters successfully.

Make one decision today that brings you closer to your highest self. Tomorrow make two. The next day make three. Do it that slow if you need to, but do it. You will never ever regret it.

I love you.

~Jade