When The ‘Cure’ Is Really Another Addiction

I can’t watch anymore!!!

I first saw this phenomenon about 15 years ago while working in a Psychiatrist’s office that offered Methodone as a treatment for opiod addiction. Methadone, is another opiod!

After this awakening, I began to see this pattern everywhere and most recently in the self-help arena where my interests lie these days.

Anything – and I do mean anything – can become an addiction, knowingly or unknowingly. I have said it for years about the fitness industry. That quite often those most vocal and visible in the physical fitness arena are using physical training as a drug to avoid deep emotional work.

In recent experience, I’ve encountered a teacher who broke me out of a rut pattern of thinking and from which I launched myself into an ever more expansive evolution. However, alongside me I observed those who seem to not recognize that they used old techniques with the new information to achieve yet another continuous loop of highs and lows. This guy now has a huge fanbase…yes, fanbase. That should likely be a red flag. If you have people buying multiple products or watching video after video, its feel good entertainment, not a development tool.

I have had clients who seem to fit this category, even though my work is based on doing deep self-reflective experiential activity. Still, I find some merely seeking personal development as a replacement addiction. They get high on ‘aha’ moments and then really do nothing with the ‘aha’ information and soon they experience the low again. Then they search for more ‘enlightenment’, find their ‘aha’ and are on the upswing again for awhile. Eventually, all they are doing is repeating ‘aha’ moments, which really makes them ‘ah-no’ moments.

As a Medicine Woman, I don’t want to hear that I make you feel better. I want to hear that I showed you how you can make yourself feel better.

Cycling is cycling; and cycling, my friend, is addiction. In successful personal development or emotional healing, you don’t cycle, so much as spiral upwards and outwards when you are expanding. When you are stuck in an addiction cycle you have highs and lows. When you are spiritually or personally expanding, you experience ebbs and flows just like an ocean tide. This is very different from the highs and lows of the addiction cycle.

Its hard for me to watch people go from the early stages of ‘aha’ and skip right to “I’m going to help others have ‘aha’ moments”, because they haven’t invested enough time in themselves to have broken their cycle of addiction, yet.

Take the time to test drive your aha’s. Take them around the block for awhile. Try them on in all kinds of light. Let them stand the test of time.

Let them lead you to bigger ‘ahas’, then bigger ‘ahas’ and when they no longer feel like ‘ahas’ (but rather your everyday life) then proceed on to taking on the role of teacher for others. If you rush it, you are doing yourself and those you encounter a disservice; in fact, you are actually feeding your addiction and avoiding your true growth.

Its SO exciting to be on this path. I get it. But rushing it serves no higher good. This would be like ‘rushing’ to get done with an hour of meditation. 🙂 I used to be like that, too. I remember. I would lie in the tub and think ‘hurry up, relax already!’ It was absurd! Then I did the same with meditation. Measuring my success by the time that passed rather than the quality of the time spent (however long it might be).

I applaud those on this path and those who have the passion to go on to be of service to others. I caution you to do it wisely though. Don’t rush. I’ve been doing this 30 years and I still have aha moments and I will until I die. It was a long time of ahas before I hung my shingle up. I owed it to myself and my daughter (my first student) to really know what the heck I was doing. This has only been a benefit to my many clients.

I love you and only want the highest life for you!

~Jade

 

 

Gratitude And Discomfort

Gratitude is on my mind today and its a bit of a surprise.

I was lying in bed, feeling a bit sorry for myself, to be honest. Wondering if I’ve made a mistake pursuing this path. Wondering if I put too much stake in the vision I’d had so many years ago of Quan Yin. As I checked into my body I felt familiar heaviness taking over. I pulled myself out of bed, made a cup of coffee and went back to my bed for my morning rituals.

First I smudge to cleanse myself and my space, marking it as sacred time. Then I pull a card from the first of two decks and then journal about it. Then I pull a card from the second of the two decks and journal again. This ritual serves me so well and its hard to explain in words. I never ever ever ever evvvvvvver fail to get an answer that serves my highest good.

So this morning, I pull the first card after thinking I need to re-evaluate my whole life plan and BAM! the last line of the passage contains, “Your medicine is strong…” The moment I read these words, I know their truth. I feel it in my bones. I feel remiss for my moments of doubt. I write through my process to come to the place that allows for expansion and I feel twice as big as I did moments ago when I was lying in bed wandering in the dark.

I pull the second card and this is not a BAM but a flick of a lightswitch. It takes a minute for me to process through to the connection. The majority of the message was about blessings coming, but within the context of that message was something more…it was gratitude, and it hit me in a new way.

The energy of the concept was different today. I’ve known gratitude. I was in on the beginnings of the ‘attitude of gratitude’ train. Gratitude and I are old friends, but there is a new depth to the word today when combined with the first card’s processing.

Gratitude in and for the present moment AS IT IS. Too often I see people (myself included in past times) trying to pull themselves out of the present moment by grasping for things to state gratitude for. The effort is in getting themselves out of the moment that is providing discomfort rather than being grateful for the discomfort itself. Do you follow?

I really held that in my breath and seep into my bloodstream. A new depth to gratitude is not to use it move myself out of discomfort but to appreciate the discomfort. To know that the discomfort has its place too, usually to launch us into a huge expansion and a place of beautiful comfort.

It always comes. It never fails. As if to ‘test’ me though the moment it comes almost seems to get pushed back further and further the more I surrender. Its like a game…’how far can we push her until she goes back to old habits?’ Today’s message assures that I won’t go back to old thinking, if I’m constantly staying grateful for the present moment. Grateful for the discomfort.

Whenever I think of discomfort I remind myself of how uncomfortable it must be for sprouts pushing up through the dark earth. How uncomfortable must they feel right before they push through the surface and feel the sun? How long must that climb feel? What if that precious little sprout gave up, thinking that its dreams of being a flower were too big? Where would our world be if we all gave up like that?

So I practiced. I took the dogs for our morning walk and just stayed in the current moment. The moment right in front of me and practiced gratitude for that. For whatever I was feeling, because I was indeed feeling it! Feeling discomfort means we are still alive and we are working on something big!

Discomfort is the place our growth begins. It tells us that where we are, no longer suits us and something bigger is waiting for us. More discomfort comes when we don’t make efforts to move on to that bigger place then. The discomfort can fool us. It can make us think that the movement is the problem. That we are in discomfort because we moved somewhere we shouldn’t have, rather than because we haven’t moved far enough.

Moving anyway isn’t always the answer either. Just moving to move can move us in the opposite direction of where we intend. So sitting with the discomfort, having gratitude for it and allowing what is next to appear is the best guide for moving through it.

Discomfort in the dark soil is what causes the seedling to sprout and move up towards the sun, in the first place. It doesn’t decide to give up. In fact, it never even considers that as an option (or maybe it does and I just don’t know because those are the ones that never make it to the surface…Hmmmmm…..thoughts to think on.)

We have a choice. We can allow discomfort to give us the excuse to not move or we can allow it to propel us forward. It really is that simple. A choice. One little choice and then another, another and another. Before we know it we have expanded into an even better version of ourselves on our way to another expansion into an even better version of ourselves.

Where’s your discomfort?

I love you.

~Jade

 

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.
 
To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.