Support Female Personal Developers

I’ve been thinking…(uh oh)….

There is an underlying pattern of misogyny in the genre of personal development. It isn’t intentional, mind you. I’m beginning to theorize it as a result of conditioning. Although ‘touchy feely’, ’emotions’ and ‘naval contemplation’ has been ‘seen’ as a woman’s field just google ‘personal development speakers’, or ‘motivational speakers’, or ‘personal transformational speakers’ images and you’ll find the majority are males.

And these males? They collaborate with males. They might have women on their teams behind the scenes but they partner up with males or they cite other male professionals as resources.

But here is where it really hit my heart… as I observe polls asking for recommendations for self-help gurus, the majority of answers, EVEN FROM WOMEN, are men. This is where the real misogyny is taking place.

Confidence and the presentation of it, is at the heart of this.  What do I mean?

Men take up more space and aren’t ashamed of it.

As I watch some of my favorite online male counterparts I am in awe at how some manage to be charmingly cocky (I do not tend to favor cocky otherwise) to kindly confident. They make no apologies. They don’t seem to cater to anyone and they are bold. BOLD. Not as in daring so much as they speak like they know their shit is TRUE. They take up space without asking permission.

As I watch some of the familiar online female counterparts I see some trying to wear men’s pants figuratively and it feels out of place. It comes off cocky and not authentic. It seems like one trying to play like a man as a woman. Rather than just play like a woman.

I am not anti-male, in any shape or form. And I’m not whining about being a woman….I wouldn’t have it any other way. I see the value in balance, but right now there isn’t any balance. Its odd for me to google recognized professional speakers to find male dominance, but see a preponderance of females in the not-so-recognized online world.

I understand nature, so I don’t see this as something ‘contrived’ by humans. Look at almost any species and you’ll find the male dressed in the brightest, boldest colors, loudest call, most aggressive and most recognized. It’s in their nature. The bolder look imprints upon us, so when we think of a peacock it is the male peacock that immediately comes to mind. Same thing for a lion, a cardinal or a deer. Males natural tendency to be more aggressive makes them more notable and memorable.

So, I’m not blaming the men at all.

I just want to bring awareness that just because a female is not all bold and aggressive does not mean she is not as capable of serving, especially in the personal development arena. We have ‘softer’ ways, like the gentler hues of the female peacock vs the bold colors of her male counterpart.

I want to remind my female counterparts that you don’t need to ‘sell out’ to find success. Don’t try on the bold male colors that aren’t your palette. Titles like ‘badass’, ‘gangster’ and ‘warrior’ feel disingenuous to me.  It seems like a false sort of confidence.

Does that make sense? Does anyone else feel the energy incongruence thing happening here?

Confident women, ARE. When I think of confident women in the personal development field I think of Iyanla VanZant, SARK, Brene` Brown, Marianne Williamson, Maya Angelou…just off the top of my head.

I cannot, by any means state that any woman who uses these terms in disingenuous, I’m saying to me it feels like we women have been sold a load of men’s suits and have been trying to tailor them to suit us, rather than just wearing what suits us authentically.

If you are an authentically bold woman with a more masculine energy, GO FOR IT!! But if you are not, please don’t try to emulate a male’s approach to what you are doing. And please don’t think I’m suggesting you just substitute ‘badass’ with ‘goddess’ either. It’s perfectly ok to just BE, without a popular label.

I just want to remind everyone of the abundance of capable, effective and inspiring female personal developers out there and suggest you recommend them to your friends as readily as you do our male counterparts.

Our society is masculine heavy. We NEED a balance of yin and yang to reach our full potential. We NEED the bold brash yang energy of the male workshops that get you all pumped up and ready to break free of the astral gravity holding your ass in the chair in front of the TV. But we also all NEED the gentle beauty of yin energy in the female workshops to get you to really connect with your life force energy.

*Full disclosure, I confess, this post was written mainly for myself, as a reminder to not see my male counterparts as more successful because they are louder and brighter and seem to have more engagement and to quit trying to tailor suits for my womanly shape.



Jade Willow Song is an Intuitive Qi Therapist who works with individuals seeking healing, clarity and guidance on their life path by facilitating transformational experiences. 

Jade serves others with her experience and education in metaphysics, crystal healing, Reiki, Therapeutic Touch, QiGong, guided visualization and meditation. In addition, Jade is an ordained minister with the Universal Life Church.

Jade holds a Bachelor’s in Social Work as well as certifications in Reiki and Therapeutic Touch. 



We are body, mind and spirit. Most of us agree on that. All three things of this need to be in line in order to live (or die). When I worked in hospice I saw so many of my patients hold on longer than one would think possible without food and water. That’s because the mind and the Spirit were not ready to go yet. By the same token I saw those who seemed still so full of life, eat a full lunch and go into the next room to take their last breath.


Body. Mind. And Spirit.


At the other end of the spectrum we have seen newborn babies and elderly die of something called ‘failure to thrive’. Their physical needs are met yet they seem to lack the will to live.


We have a Life Force Energy (Qi). This is what some might see evidenced by the Aura. This Qi is alive, but it is not our Soul. Our Soul is our consciousness. Our Soul is what is aware. Our Spirit is our Life Force Energy. We are responsible for feeding our Qi Life Force Energy. To do that optimally, we need a balanced diet of Earth Qi, Moon Qi, Sun Qi, Universe Qi and Source Qi. Our LFE is comprised of all of this. This is what makes our L(i)FE!!!!


By the same token we can use Qi to help feed others. We do this through many mediums; listening actively, empathizing, hugging, compassionate engages, sex, healing modalities, intuiting, counseling, doctoring and simply holding space just to name a few.


However, it is most important NOT to use our own L(I)FE for this purpose. This drains us. To feed others we need to draw from the Universal Qi pool available to us. The Universal Qi pool is comprised of the contributions from Source, Earth, Sun, Moon and People (including plant and animal people here).


Think of it like your bank account system. You need to keep savings, savings (LFE) and checking, checking (Universal Qi). You can easily become energetically bankrupt when you pull from your savings instead of checking.


Not understanding how Qi works is what leads to things like compassion fatigue, caregiver burnout and a myriad of other labels for bad energy management. Some might like to make it a badge of honor, as in “Oh, I gave so much I suffer from compassion fatigue!” Oh no. When I find myself in compassion fatigue mode I am not celebrating it, I am correcting it! I know I have allowed imbalance into my L(i)FE!



Healers especially (all types of healers) need to have a firm grip on the concept between using their own energy and using the energy of the Universe. WE don’t heal, per se. We facilitate connection of healing energy for others which allows/enables healing to take place.


In a healing session, if we picture an operating room, the healing should look like a doctor reaching up to pull down a laser that directs energy where it is needed. A healer that is misappropriating their own resources for healing would be shooting that energy out of their own appendage.


In addition, once a healer does their job to its fullest extent he/she can step away, but the healing continues. And if we have done our job REALLY well then the person is able to tap into the Universal Qi to self-feed continuously, requiring only an occasional treatment.


Illness and Disease

On a daily basis we exert our LFE on normal daily activities like engaging with co-workers, family, friends and store clerks. When we keep ourselves plugged in to a higher vibrations socket we can maintain our optimum LFE charge throughout our day. When then do so many fall ill to dis-ease? Why do some end up feeling disconcerted? Why do our reserves deplete?

When we engage with individuals who vibrate at a lower frequency our energetic instinct is to raise them up by lending them some of our energy. In small doses on infrequent basis this is fine. However, with so many people not aware of their responsibility to self-nourish their LFE they make a habit of feeding off others.


A question might be then if Qi is all around us and available so readily, why is there such a thing as ‘failure to thrive’? Why isn’t refueling automatic? While compassion fatigue is depletion of the LFE due to misuse of funds, failure to thrive is depletion of the LFE due to lack of deposits. LFE’s job is to keep you living. You use up energy when you do your ordinary living and any extraordinary living as well, so it isn’t stored, it is constantly being used for your needs and requires conscious constant replenishment.


Thus conscious (intent-full) connection is required. Thus connecting to the Earth by lying down on the grass for a period of time soaking up Earth’s energy or leisurely walking through the woods where you are surrounded with Qi is replenishing ‘automatically’. Sunbathing and being aware of how the sun feels on your skin, how it is lighting up your cells is replenishing. Feeling the moon’s glow on your face as you marvel at it, is replenishing. Walking under the moon from the bar to your car is not replenishing. Meditating and connecting to Source is replenishing. Being quiet in a meeting is not replenishing.


Intention is the color we wish to paint with. We can paint with dark colors or with pastels.


Intention is also the brush stroke we chose to use. We can have a light touch or a strong long stroke across the page. Intention is also how we hold the brush and perhaps even the brush itself! It isn’t a small thing. Intention is the direction we intend things to go. We must intend to receive as well as intend to give.


Life Force Energy maintenance is necessary for the highest quality of life. It assists us in raising our vibrations which in turn creates our experience.


Its about intention.


And that is the (i) in L(i)FE.


INTENT makes all the difference in life.


I love you.



Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it more effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.

To schedule services please email Jade at to make arrangements