Don’t Be “The Bigger Person”

black-and-white-people-bar-men.jpgYou’ve had a conflict with another person. Things may have gotten out of control and both sides are hurt. You may think the other person is at fault or at least at greater fault. At one point someone suggests you apologize and you reject that notion. That person then says to you, “be the bigger person” and you reluctantly decide to make the first move towards resolution.

Chances are that resolution wasn’t as successful as you would’ve liked. In fact, it may have even made things worse and you might be wondering why.

When you label yourself ‘bigger’, you are -by default- labeling them ‘smaller’ and it immediately sets up an energetic power struggle. “Bigger” is a relative term, which means it has no meaning without reference to something “smaller”. Energetically this is communicated through any interaction then.

You continue the conflict (power struggle) by putting the other person down energetically and with your language. You can’t help it. If being the bigger person is your motivation then all action from that place will be tainted. Can you feel the difference between these two ‘apologies’?

I’m sorry if your feelings were hurt. I’m sorry you felt that way and that you took what I said wrong.

 

I’m sorry. I never intended for your feelings to get hurt and I apologize that what I said caused you pain.

Can you feel the difference in the energy?!

The first one is passive-aggressive and is pretty typical of someone who is coming from a bigger/smaller place.

While we are not responsible for how someone else feels, we are accountable for our actions and our actions impact others whether we intend for them to or not. I think it is important to understand the intent of our actions, realize there can be miscommunication even with the best of intentions and there need not be ‘fault’ assigned, when accepting accountability. Just clear transparent communication.

If you can’t come to a conflict resolution open hearted with no power struggle strings, then you are not ready for conflict resolution. Wait until you can come to the table with an open heart.

Unless/until you can come with an open heart, the resolution won’t have a solid foundation for a conflict free future and the only point to conflict resolution, is to build a conflict free future. This can’t be done if egos are running amok and the ego is surely running amok if the only way you can think about doing the ‘right’ thing is to consider yourself the bigger person.

Conflict resolution isn’t about getting one over on another. It isn’t about proving anything to anyone. Its about clearing energy from your heart center and improving the vibration between two (or maybe more) parties. Its only about ‘winning’ if both parties are winning. It isn’t about being a better person than the other, merely a better version of your self.

Here’s the thing…

Conflict resolution isn’t necessary unless you create conflict. There is actually a way to live your life in such a way to minimize or even eliminate conflict in a healthy way.

I can hear your disbelief. “Conflict is a part of life” you think, but it isn’t. Conflict, by definition is a “serious and protracted disagreement or argument”. Not seeing eye to on a topic isn’t an automatic conflict. It’s when people believe there is one ‘right’ perspective and endeavor to impose that on others, demanding agreement, that conflict ensues. Simple seeing things differently is not conflict, its perspective.

Now, here are four steps to live your life to minimize if not eliminate conflict healthfully.

  1. Let go of winning.
  2. Disagreements are not automatic conflicts.
  3. Conflict resolution does not equal confrontation.
  4. Shift from the negative to the positive.
Let go of winning

When you are aligned you realize there is no ‘right or wrong’. There is what resonates with you and what does not. You cannot speak for another on the subject of resonating. What resonates with you may resonate with another, but you can never know if it resonates in the same way because neither of you can know the experience of the other! All you can do is trust your inner self, when you are most connected to Spirit to determine what resonates with you. The goal is not to win but to expand!

Disagreements are not automatic conflicts

Speaking to one another with respect and understanding, focusing as much on understanding another as we do on being understood by another is primary to eliminating conflict from your life. Transparency means being authentic without the fear of reprisal or harm. Approaching a problem from two different perspectives is a wonderful way to find the best solution. When you eliminate the need to win from a disagreement, you are automatically opened up to explore the limitless possibilities of outcomes and conflict isn’t even a ‘thing’.

Conflict Resolution does not equal Confrontation

If you do end up in conflict and find yourself approaching conflict resolution, it is important to understand that conflict resolution does not equal confrontation. Confrontation is hostile, conflict resolution is not. It can be uncomfortable (remember what we said about uncomfortable in the intimidation article) but it not hostile. True Conflict resolution, by its very name, will focus on the resolution not the conflict. Whereas confrontation has the aggressiveness built in, defenses are up and an implied right/wrong dynamic exists.

 

Shift from negative to positive

I’ve saved the first for last. Yes, you read that right. The very first thing you need to do to eliminate conflict from your life is to shift from the negative to the positive. Why did I save it for last? Because if you remember nothing else from this post, I want you to remember this…it is the single most important and powerful thing you can do for the betterment of your life. I have many people confess to me that they wish to be more positive but find themselves stuck in the negative. That is understandable. You were taught to be negative, you weren’t born that way. So, you have to unlearn it in a matter of speaking and relearn to be positive. There is one simple two step trick to making the switch.

The first step is to be aware of your negativity. Pay attention to your thoughts and your words. When you find yourself focusing on the negative, even if it is simply how something didn’t live up to your expectations, notice it. Be aware that you are focusing on the ‘lack’ of something rather than the ‘gift’ of something.

Once you have gotten used to noticing your negativity, the second step is to double up on the positive. What does this mean? For every negative thing you think or say, you counter with two positives. Say you are out to dinner with friends and the waiter forgets the tea you ordered. You find yourself feeling irritated and make a snide remark to your dinner companions. You hear it. Now you find two positive things to say about the waiter. Yes, say them out loud, after all you complained out loud, didn’t you? Maybe the waiter brought you extra rolls or had a pleasant demeanor.

Making this change is conscious, which means it will take effort to 1) notice the negative and 2) double up the positive. However, the shift you will be making will cascade out to all parts of your life. You will be more conscious of how your mind works and whether or not your attention is on the negative of life or the positive (aka the lack or the gifts). Remember that life will bring you whatever you purchase with your attention. (It’s a little like Amazon.com that way!)

All right, this has been sitting in my drafts folder for too long now, so I’m going to hit publish and know that it is on it’s way to those who need to hear this message the most.

As always, remember…

I love you!

~Jade

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.

Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 

Join us for more conversation in our Facebook group Willow Song Firekeepers

As of now Jade is limiting the one on one work she does. For availability please email an inquiry.

To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

 

 

 

 

My Magick Medicine

I was tasked by a mentor to write about my medicine in an exercise. 

I have the capability to see what isn’t seen and hear what hasn’t been said, to heal what hasn’t been healed. The magic to make the scariest moment totally surmountable.

From the moment someone contacts me, if we are a good match the healing energy begins to flow. I don’t even know if I’m ‘supposed’ to manage that or if that is just what is meant to be. It no longer drains me, I manage that, so perhaps this is how I know when we are in sync? This healing can be so powerful -even before commitments are made- that often that is all people need from me.

I create a space of pure self-empowerment. I empower no one. I only remove the layers of density in place that have convinced my clients of their powerlessness; like Michelangelo released David from the Marble.

I support, assist and facilitate. I facilitate opportunities for experiential exploration, assist is looking/interpreting them and support finding one’s own answers. This is the true Medicine Woman way. Not to fix things, but to allow the Self to realize there is no brokenness to fix.

Having a Medicine Woman support you is rather like the difference between using GPS and a map. GPS will tell you exactly how to get there, with (hopefully) no missteps. It tells you exactly how long it will take there and will suggest detours when delays occur. But with GPS you don’t learn how to navigate your own path.

But a Medicine Woman is like a map. She is a tool that presents  ALL the possible routes to get you where you want to go, which route do YOU want to travel? Which one suits you? If you get caught in a relationship/job/mindset, what way do YOU think is best to continue your journey? You learn how to navigate your own path which is a lifelong beneficial skill.

As always….

I love you.

 

~Jade

 

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.

Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 

To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat Workshop

A facilitated transformational event designed for those feeling disconnected, discontented, depressed, anxious, melancholy, directionless or in some way dissatisfied and seeking a deeper experience of life.

Whether you choose the one day or the two day event, you will experience the Ritual of Joy and the Five Responsibilities of conscious living.

The Healing Rite of Passage Retreat/Workshop promises to be one of the most important things you will ever do for your body, mind AND spirit. Depending on whether you choose the one day or two day event…

  • You will learn how to access your energetic body and clear out blockages and heal wounds. 
  • You will learn to recall your energy from past events and relationships.
  • You will learn new communication techniques that allow you to speak from your spirit and not your ego. 
  • You will develop new relationships with like-minded journeyers. 
  • You will have the experience of living from your spirit. 
  • You will experience shamanic healing.
  • You will experience facilitating healing for others.
  • You will experience a lightness of body, mind and spirit as you release what no longer serves you. 
  • …and so so SO much more.

After the closing ceremony your life will never be the same (unless you choose it to be so).

Next One Day Events:

June 9, 2018

July 14, 2018

Aug 11, 2018

Sept 8, 2018

 

https://www.facebook.com/events/309106519557719/

Gratitude And Discomfort

Gratitude is on my mind today and its a bit of a surprise.

I was lying in bed, feeling a bit sorry for myself, to be honest. Wondering if I’ve made a mistake pursuing this path. Wondering if I put too much stake in the vision I’d had so many years ago of Quan Yin. As I checked into my body I felt familiar heaviness taking over. I pulled myself out of bed, made a cup of coffee and went back to my bed for my morning rituals.

First I smudge to cleanse myself and my space, marking it as sacred time. Then I pull a card from the first of two decks and then journal about it. Then I pull a card from the second of the two decks and journal again. This ritual serves me so well and its hard to explain in words. I never ever ever ever evvvvvvver fail to get an answer that serves my highest good.

So this morning, I pull the first card after thinking I need to re-evaluate my whole life plan and BAM! the last line of the passage contains, “Your medicine is strong…” The moment I read these words, I know their truth. I feel it in my bones. I feel remiss for my moments of doubt. I write through my process to come to the place that allows for expansion and I feel twice as big as I did moments ago when I was lying in bed wandering in the dark.

I pull the second card and this is not a BAM but a flick of a lightswitch. It takes a minute for me to process through to the connection. The majority of the message was about blessings coming, but within the context of that message was something more…it was gratitude, and it hit me in a new way.

The energy of the concept was different today. I’ve known gratitude. I was in on the beginnings of the ‘attitude of gratitude’ train. Gratitude and I are old friends, but there is a new depth to the word today when combined with the first card’s processing.

Gratitude in and for the present moment AS IT IS. Too often I see people (myself included in past times) trying to pull themselves out of the present moment by grasping for things to state gratitude for. The effort is in getting themselves out of the moment that is providing discomfort rather than being grateful for the discomfort itself. Do you follow?

I really held that in my breath and seep into my bloodstream. A new depth to gratitude is not to use it move myself out of discomfort but to appreciate the discomfort. To know that the discomfort has its place too, usually to launch us into a huge expansion and a place of beautiful comfort.

It always comes. It never fails. As if to ‘test’ me though the moment it comes almost seems to get pushed back further and further the more I surrender. Its like a game…’how far can we push her until she goes back to old habits?’ Today’s message assures that I won’t go back to old thinking, if I’m constantly staying grateful for the present moment. Grateful for the discomfort.

Whenever I think of discomfort I remind myself of how uncomfortable it must be for sprouts pushing up through the dark earth. How uncomfortable must they feel right before they push through the surface and feel the sun? How long must that climb feel? What if that precious little sprout gave up, thinking that its dreams of being a flower were too big? Where would our world be if we all gave up like that?

So I practiced. I took the dogs for our morning walk and just stayed in the current moment. The moment right in front of me and practiced gratitude for that. For whatever I was feeling, because I was indeed feeling it! Feeling discomfort means we are still alive and we are working on something big!

Discomfort is the place our growth begins. It tells us that where we are, no longer suits us and something bigger is waiting for us. More discomfort comes when we don’t make efforts to move on to that bigger place then. The discomfort can fool us. It can make us think that the movement is the problem. That we are in discomfort because we moved somewhere we shouldn’t have, rather than because we haven’t moved far enough.

Moving anyway isn’t always the answer either. Just moving to move can move us in the opposite direction of where we intend. So sitting with the discomfort, having gratitude for it and allowing what is next to appear is the best guide for moving through it.

Discomfort in the dark soil is what causes the seedling to sprout and move up towards the sun, in the first place. It doesn’t decide to give up. In fact, it never even considers that as an option (or maybe it does and I just don’t know because those are the ones that never make it to the surface…Hmmmmm…..thoughts to think on.)

We have a choice. We can allow discomfort to give us the excuse to not move or we can allow it to propel us forward. It really is that simple. A choice. One little choice and then another, another and another. Before we know it we have expanded into an even better version of ourselves on our way to another expansion into an even better version of ourselves.

Where’s your discomfort?

I love you.

~Jade

 

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.
 
To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

 

Thelma And Anna – A Love Story

In meditation I always receive life-changing messages. The more I meditate the more messages I get and the faster my expansion moves along. Tonight was no exception.

Tonight I was reminded that Spirit has given me a lifetime of training as a Medicine Woman.

I could never describe the visuals of my meditation tonight and maybe it isn’t important to you anyway, but I was taken back to the time I was developing and running a designated unit for Alzheimer’s Dementia patients. Specifically, two of my old patients presented themselves tonight.

Thelma and Anna. These were two wheelchair bound women who met in this nursing home, but became fast friends in their later stages of dementia. Up and down the hallway in tandem they would flow down the corridors. They weren’t even roommates, these two, but during the daytime hours they were never separate. They even ate together. When they did become separated for personal care or something they were always calling for each other. To hear the ache in each of their voices as they called their counterparts name.

For whatever reason, Anna called Thelma, Helen, and Thelma called Anna, Annie. They never wavered from these names, despite their ‘forgetting diseases’.

Thelma and Annie were my original Thelma and Louise. I loved having them in my groups and just sitting one on two with them having cups of tea and conversations of a sort.

Then Annie died.

Thelma became the one desperately roaming the hallways calling her friend’s name. It was beyond heartbreaking now, it was spirit breaking.

There is so much illusion in Alzheimer’s and Dementia, but Thelma and Annie found their way through it, just like we can find our way through the illusions of this Earthly life experience. Thelma and Annie were stripped of their egos, their histories and their ‘accomplishments’ by this dreadful disease. All they had left was their higher selves and Love. Perhaps Annie even knew Thelma’s ‘higher’ name was Helen…

Even when separated in death, Thelma continued to expect her friend to be present. She knew to call for her. She didn’t just forget her. Do you GET that? She didn’t forget her friend even though she had a ‘forgetting disease’. It took her a long time to stop calling for Annie. Eventually she did stop, though. I like to think its because she found her again, in the space within.

That’s what I was reminded of in the meditation today. That the things we seek are within. We are never truly separate from one another…not when they move across country or even when they transition to another state like death. We can find whatever we’ve lost in the space within us. Sometimes its hard to do on your own, though which is why the Universe has given me such amazing experiences to draw wisdom from and share with my clients as a modern day Medicine Woman.

Thanks Thelma and Annie.

I love you. So much.

~Jade

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.
 
To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

Self-Promotion/Self-Reveal Challenge Summary

Its the first day after the challenge and I know it wasn’t meant to be five and done. I’m meant to continue revealing myself so that others who need me can find me. So, that I’m more comfortable. So this becomes old hat.

Revealing oneself is easier and harder than you think, all at once. The hardest part is right before you do it, just like many things. The decision to do it, to be it (transparent) is the hard part. Once you’ve made the commitment, its actually quite fun. I really enjoyed sharing my success stories. I love sharing what it is I love to do. I liked sharing the ‘Reason’ or ‘my why’ if you will.

I challenge myself to being revealing every day. To write revealing posts. To share my offers when appropriate. To be always 100% me, no holds punched.

Here’s what else I learned. I don’t have to do self-promotion. When I am self-revealing I attract my tribe; friends, clients, business relationships etc.

I like how it feels being exposed, no more secrets. No more withholding information in an effort to be ‘professional’, or ‘healed’ or whatever it was that I was thinking.

Revealing is being Real. Its being authentic and we aren’t being real or authentic when we aren’t being revealing.

The key is that being revealing isn’t self-promoting. Self-promoting comes from a different place than self-revealing. I see that clearly now and that will make all the difference.

I love you.

~Jade

Day 5 Self-Promotion/Self-Reveal Challenge

Broken Egg
An egg does not break, it breaks open.

This is day five of my shameless self-promotion challenge and I find myself a little lost for words today.

My thoughts on the challenge today are about ‘self-reveal’ than anything else, so I’ve been sitting with that today. Just sitting with it.

Deeply.

So, this is going to be more of a journal entry than a story telling post.

I feel something coming up through the depths to rise to the surface. It’s there just out of sight. I can feel it. Something huge. Something about revealing.

About standing on the stage, so to speak, saying “Here I am! I have SO much to offer and I’m worth paying for!”

I can speak to small and large groups without much of a sweat. I can facilitate very powerful retreats for as few as one, and as many as twenty. Why is that so hard for me to talk about then? I know that I had these leftover beliefs of my mother’s that ‘pride goeth before a fall’, that ‘you make yourself last until someone else makes you first’ and ‘vanity is a sin’. That is a lot to overcome, but I’ve recalled that energy. I’ve denounced those beliefs and I feel indifferent towards them now.

So what IS it? Why does talking about myself seem clumsy, disingenuous and awkward?

Perhaps because it is still new. Perhaps its just like blisters on your feet when you wear new shoes. It doesn’t matter if I’m clumsy at it, I just need to do it. To offer my support and promote my services whenever I feel they can be of assist. Without shame. Without feeling judgement for doing it.

What I’ve learned from doing this the past five days is that it feels good, not shameful to share my accomplishments. I am not boastful. My intention is not based from ego. I am proud of my accomplishments and take great pride in assisting where it is productive and appreciated. I love adding my energy to others to push through blocks that have proved challenging.

There is nothing more satisfying to me then hearing a client say ‘I never thought of it like THAT!’ or ‘OMG that makes SO much sense!’ Or to know that after one of our sessions an opportunity presented itself to my client ‘out of the blue’.

Its magic pure and simple.

What I do is magic, but it really is magic everyone can aspire to. KNOWING that makes all the difference.

I love what I do, because I love you, because I love me.

~Jade

Smoke And Mirrors

Illusions…
All of life is a mere collage of illusions. Some more illusionary than others, but all illusion nonetheless.
Life is a lot like a house. On the outside the house may have a certain presentation and you may draw a lot of conclusions from the outside that have actually nothing at all to do with what is on the inside.
From the street you may be able to see inside the house through an open window, but even through this open window what you see is limited. You don’t get the whole picture of the workings of that house and the people in it that make it a home. You have no idea if there is abuse, neglect or unconditional love existing in there. All you know is what you see, but what you see is no where near the full square footage of the house.
Even if you are invited in, you don’t know what is going on in the rooms you don’t see. You also don’t know what goes on in the house when you are not in attendance.
Some people live in houses made all of glass and are super transparent and yet there are still places not visible to general bystanders. Others live in houses built like a fortress without many portals or windows. Still others build a house of smoke and mirrors where everything is twisted and warped to deceive you into believing something else entirely.
Smoke and mirrors.
Even when you seem to witness something you are not witnessing the entire situation. You have no idea what preceded it. You have no idea of anything outside of those exact moments, so to infer a meaning into them is irresponsible.
Life is an illusion. It was created that way on purpose. So that we could have experiences that seem real in a place where nothing really is. The only thing that is real is love and light. No matter what illusion you get involved in, remain in your space of love and light. We are the love and light and to the love and light we will return.
This is where my faith lies.
Some illusions will break you…if you let them; or they can break you open…if you let them.
All things are made whole again.
~Jade
Jade Willow Song is an Intuitive Qi Therapist who works with individuals seeking healing, clarity and guidance on their life path by facilitating transformational experiences. 
Jade serves others with her experience and education in metaphysics, crystal healing, Reiki, Therapeutic Touch, QiGong, guided visualization and meditation. In addition, Jade is an ordained minister with the Universal Life Church.
Jade holds a Bachelor’s in Social Work as well as certifications in Reiki and Therapeutic Touch.

Support Female Personal Developers

I’ve been thinking…(uh oh)….

There is an underlying pattern of misogyny in the genre of personal development. It isn’t intentional, mind you. I’m beginning to theorize it as a result of conditioning. Although ‘touchy feely’, ’emotions’ and ‘naval contemplation’ has been ‘seen’ as a woman’s field just google ‘personal development speakers’, or ‘motivational speakers’, or ‘personal transformational speakers’ images and you’ll find the majority are males.

And these males? They collaborate with males. They might have women on their teams behind the scenes but they partner up with males or they cite other male professionals as resources.

But here is where it really hit my heart… as I observe polls asking for recommendations for self-help gurus, the majority of answers, EVEN FROM WOMEN, are men. This is where the real misogyny is taking place.

Confidence and the presentation of it, is at the heart of this.  What do I mean?

Men take up more space and aren’t ashamed of it.

As I watch some of my favorite online male counterparts I am in awe at how some manage to be charmingly cocky (I do not tend to favor cocky otherwise) to kindly confident. They make no apologies. They don’t seem to cater to anyone and they are bold. BOLD. Not as in daring so much as they speak like they know their shit is TRUE. They take up space without asking permission.

As I watch some of the familiar online female counterparts I see some trying to wear men’s pants figuratively and it feels out of place. It comes off cocky and not authentic. It seems like one trying to play like a man as a woman. Rather than just play like a woman.

I am not anti-male, in any shape or form. And I’m not whining about being a woman….I wouldn’t have it any other way. I see the value in balance, but right now there isn’t any balance. Its odd for me to google recognized professional speakers to find male dominance, but see a preponderance of females in the not-so-recognized online world.

I understand nature, so I don’t see this as something ‘contrived’ by humans. Look at almost any species and you’ll find the male dressed in the brightest, boldest colors, loudest call, most aggressive and most recognized. It’s in their nature. The bolder look imprints upon us, so when we think of a peacock it is the male peacock that immediately comes to mind. Same thing for a lion, a cardinal or a deer. Males natural tendency to be more aggressive makes them more notable and memorable.

So, I’m not blaming the men at all.

I just want to bring awareness that just because a female is not all bold and aggressive does not mean she is not as capable of serving, especially in the personal development arena. We have ‘softer’ ways, like the gentler hues of the female peacock vs the bold colors of her male counterpart.

I want to remind my female counterparts that you don’t need to ‘sell out’ to find success. Don’t try on the bold male colors that aren’t your palette. Titles like ‘badass’, ‘gangster’ and ‘warrior’ feel disingenuous to me.  It seems like a false sort of confidence.

Does that make sense? Does anyone else feel the energy incongruence thing happening here?

Confident women, ARE. When I think of confident women in the personal development field I think of Iyanla VanZant, SARK, Brene` Brown, Marianne Williamson, Maya Angelou…just off the top of my head.

I cannot, by any means state that any woman who uses these terms in disingenuous, I’m saying to me it feels like we women have been sold a load of men’s suits and have been trying to tailor them to suit us, rather than just wearing what suits us authentically.

If you are an authentically bold woman with a more masculine energy, GO FOR IT!! But if you are not, please don’t try to emulate a male’s approach to what you are doing. And please don’t think I’m suggesting you just substitute ‘badass’ with ‘goddess’ either. It’s perfectly ok to just BE, without a popular label.

I just want to remind everyone of the abundance of capable, effective and inspiring female personal developers out there and suggest you recommend them to your friends as readily as you do our male counterparts.

Our society is masculine heavy. We NEED a balance of yin and yang to reach our full potential. We NEED the bold brash yang energy of the male workshops that get you all pumped up and ready to break free of the astral gravity holding your ass in the chair in front of the TV. But we also all NEED the gentle beauty of yin energy in the female workshops to get you to really connect with your life force energy.

*Full disclosure, I confess, this post was written mainly for myself, as a reminder to not see my male counterparts as more successful because they are louder and brighter and seem to have more engagement and to quit trying to tailor suits for my womanly shape.

 

~Jade

Jade Willow Song is an Intuitive Qi Therapist who works with individuals seeking healing, clarity and guidance on their life path by facilitating transformational experiences. 

Jade serves others with her experience and education in metaphysics, crystal healing, Reiki, Therapeutic Touch, QiGong, guided visualization and meditation. In addition, Jade is an ordained minister with the Universal Life Church.

Jade holds a Bachelor’s in Social Work as well as certifications in Reiki and Therapeutic Touch. 

Touchy-Feely Never Killed Anyone

The news of the mass shooting in Las Vegas at the Country Fest struck me deep in my empathic center this morning. It has brought to mind a lot of thoughts and I need to get them out.

As I was growing up I often heard, “you’re too sensitive” and “you’re too emotional”. They meant it like there was something wrong with me, and I should change to be more like them. I had feelings and I talked about those feelings. It was no wonder that my dream then was to become a therapist. I wanted to help others talk about their feelings in a safe environment.

While I stopped talking about my feelings to those people, I did not stop expressing my feelings. I expressed them in poems, in short stories and to others who would listen. But along the way, I can’t tell you how many people I came across who said, ”I don’t believe in that touchy-feely shit.” Or claim “I’m not one for touchy-feely stuff.” Or just plain “I’m not a touchy-feely kind of person.” Or “Should we all just hold hands and sing kumbaya?!”

People think touchy-feely-kumbaya people are weak. But they aren’t the ones who break, are they?

Mass shooters, serial killers and mass murderers aren’t the touchy-feely ones. You never hear of a ‘flower child’ suddenly snapping and using a gun against another. Those who commit violent crimes, especially of mass proportions, are the ones who have gone out of their way to avoid touchy-feely. They are the ones who stopped when someone said they were too sensitive or emotional. They were the ones who had no outlet for the organic touchy-feely parts of us.

And you wonder why they pop?

This is a pressure cooker situation we’ve created, of course there will be mounting explosions…

…unless people start getting touchy-feely.

Lately I had been feeling as if the ‘Life Coach’ genre was becoming a bit over saturated and I pondered whether it is just another fad (yes, in part). I will be the first to tell you that half the life coaches I run across, have no business being “Life Coaches”. I use the umbrella term “Life Coaches”, but it includes many other titles, including Spiritual Advisors. Many of these people are carefully camouflaging themselves with touchy-feely leaves whilst not actually dealing with their own stuff in a healthy manner.

There is another breed out there though. Those people who truly are looking to facilitate transformation for others but doing their own touchy-feely stuff as well. People like Kyle Cease who gets on stage and says “hey can you help me process this?” And goes on to stand naked on the square as he works through an issue with an audience member. Him facing his own shit, was the ONLY way that guy from the audience was able to hear the message that was meant for him. Kyle didn’t PRETEND to work through his shit, he authentically did it.

This new breed does deep down dirty touchy-feely work. Its not life coaching and its not therapy. Mystic Midwifery is what I call it, because it is the birth of your authentic self. The one that got put back into the box little by little with phrases like “you can’t do that, you’ll never succeed” or “you need security” or “you’re not good enough” etc…ad nauseam.

There is a plethora of transformational facilitators who are truly motivated and authentic in their practices to assist others in their journey though the rough parts. They do this by demonstrating on a daily basis how they apply certain practices and philosophies in their own life. They don’t take a template and place it over your life, but instead assist you in making your own template. Its about giving you the tools once to use over and over again. Their goal is not about growing a ‘list.’ It’s about being authentic and real, then spreading that.

The numbers of these “Authenticity Coaches” is growing. I don’t think this is a fad, I think it is needed. I think the world is ready for a change and here are the change-makers! Here are the people ready to hold space for others to relieve the pressure in that pressure cooker. Here are the people ready to say “you are sensitive, here’s how we manage that”, “here are the tools to express your emotions”, people ready to throw touchy-feely life preservers.

We don’t need gun control, we need emotion control. We need cohesion. We need community. We NEED transformation.

As I sat at a bonfire this weekend, it occurred to me that sitting around a campfire was a part of everyday life for our ancestors. It was around the fire that feelings were shared, stories of experiences were shared and bonds were built. It was built in touchy-feely time. Silence was not uncomfortable as everyone gazed into the hypnotic flames of the fire. This was meditation for our many of our Western ancestors.

Then came the radio which provided a more entertaining form of gathering. People gathered around the radio listening to the news and shows, but then talked about it. It wasn’t a diversionary tactic, it was a tool. It was used purposely and then put away.

With the inventions of whole house furnaces, making fireplaces a luxury and TV providing distraction (and becoming addictive), the organic ways our families and communities bonded, decompressed and meditated disappeared. As a result our society is disintegrating. Literally dis-integrating. Even weekend bonfire are an excuse to party, not to be bond and connect. With of course the exception of certain religious sects where it fire has retained it’s sacred purpose. And again, it is not those people who end up in the headlines as murderers.

Its time to get back to touchy-feely.

Its time to embrace the transformation movement, because if EVER we needed a transformation it is NOW. I don’t want to see how far things can get. I don’t want to the worst humans can do to one another. I’ve seen enough.

I’ll close with this, only because I didn’t know where else to put it. I’ve heard so many people make statements around how they were raised ‘tough’ or how they avoid expressing emotion and then they end that statement with “…and I turned out just fine.”

It never ever fails. My only thought in response to that is, “did ya, though?”

I love you.

~Jade

If you are looking for a L(i)fe Force Energy Healing Session please email me at jadewillowsong@gmail.com. I work with all budgets so please do not let temporary financial resource blockages stop you from taking this step.