When I think back on all the time and opportunity for connection I wasted because I thought I had to ‘do it myself’ or ‘on my own’ I want to vomit.
I look back at me and want to yell “get the hell over yourself woman!”
Asking for help was (and still can be) one of the hardest things for me to do. It doesn’t matter where it comes from. I can give you a loooooong list of people who vowed to never let me fall, yet splat on the floor I went.
But that’s missing the point.
The point in hitting the floor is not who failed to prevent you from falling, but who shows up to pick you up off it. Some of our most important lessons come on that floor. We discover how we don’t actually break like we feared we would; we don’t shatter like glass, we don’t splinter like wood, nor crumble like cookies…we break like eggs.
And eggs don’t actually break, they break open!
Really. They break open…sometime all over the floor (or counter, or table etc..), but they are still eggs, just with what was inside now outside. A vase, when it breaks, is no longer a vase, right? That is the key to personal development and healing, to see that life doesn’t break us, it breaks us open. It gives us the external tap we need to grow out of our shell, over and over again.
Let’s be honest, its nice and cozy in our little eggshell. Nothing new is asked of us, we always know what is expected of us and most importantly we are GOOD at it! But outside the shell…outside the shell…we can be omelettes, quiche, over easy, sunny-side up; or we can become cake, cookies, pancakes, or meringue! The difference is that we think we don’t know HOW to be omelettes, quiche or cake etc…so we don’t know if we can be good at them or not. Our yolk selves (the REAL us with all the potential) only know the limits of the eggshell until we break open. So you can see how important the breaking open is now.
If we are to continue with this analogy, there is also another way to break open. The egg gets fertilized, a baby chick grows and when the baby chick outgrows the eggshell it breaks out from the inside.
Either way life begins when we leave the shell, but until that breaking we think life takes place inside the shell.
It is in the breaking (whether it is the chick from the inside or some external force) that it is most vital to make connections.
A chick, when it first breaks out of its shell, imprints on the first moving thing it sees thinking it is its mother. The chick will follow the lead of that object upon which it imprinted.
This translates into our lives as learning from those directly around us in times of breaking. How do they respond to their own breaking? How do they process it? How do they handle it? How do they support us in our breaking? How do they hold space for us in our breaking?
That chick gets it.
No one does it alone. No one is supposed to figure it out all on their own.
The chick knows that there is something/someone outside itself that is meant to be of guidance and assistance. We people, don’t get that. We’ve been taught that asking for help, crying, accepting assistance and vulnerability is weakness. But this is a contrived marketing ploy to feed the belief that we are not enough. This makes us susceptible to advertising that wants to sell something to make us complete; but to do that they must convince us that we are incomplete first. And we buy it! Hook, line and sinker!
This is when I look back and say…
“Get over yourself!”
Life isn’t about doing things on our own. Life isn’t about achieving for ourselves. Life isn’t about obtaining material possessions to collect.
Life is about connecting…with ourselves, with each other (extensions of ourselves) and with Spirit (our highest selves). We can’t make connections unless we do all the things we’ve been programmed against: ask for help, cry, accept assistance and allow vulnerability. It is in these moments that deep connections are made.
Connection happens only when we are open, otherwise its like trying to plug a lamp into childproofed electric sockets…no one gets light.
When hard times come, get over yourself and deny the urge to suck up those brimming tears, hold back the feeling words that are on the tip of your tongue, and to repress that hug you want to extend. Go ahead and ask for the help you need and accept the assistance offered in response.
And for Pete’s sake be vulnerable…
(If you’ve read my stuff recently you know that feeling vulnerable is a temporary state of fear related to the belief that if you share something sensitive that you will be hurt because of it. Do it anyway! No one can hurt you if you aren’t ashamed of what you are sharing and don’t give credence to other’s judgements. So be vulnerable and let that be the first step to being 100% authentic in your life.)
The notion that it is weakness to share your truest self is outdated. It is when we are our most open and authentic that those who have been looking for us, can actually see us.
Get over it already then write to tell me below how amazing life turns out to be!
If you think you are ready to transform your life, check out the Healing Rite of Passage Me-treat Workshop being held this fall.
A rite of passage, by definition, is a ceremony or event marking an important stage in someone’s life. If you are ready for the past to be the past, to release old relationships and wounds, or just take the opportunity to give your spirit the intensive care it needs, then reserve your spot in our Transformation Circle today.
When: September 16 & 17, 2017
Where: Waterford, Michigan
Early Bird Registration: $500
Registration after September 1, 2017: $675
For Tickets: https://squareup.com/store/judy-klemos
Recommended affordable nearby accommodations: http://www.oldemillinnofclarkston.com/