Category: end of life doula
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The Good Death
The Good Death When I’m dying, I want it to be slow. Not slow like a hot Sunday service in an old church, Nor any Tuesday at a job that sucked my soul; But slow like watching sunsets rocking on back porches, And fishing off the end of a lake house pier. I want slow […]
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Why Throw A Living Memorial?
My husband turned 70 this week and the pre-Corona plan was to throw him an Honor Dinner (or Living Memorial) to celebrate his life. Now you might be asking what is the difference between an Honor Dinner and a birthday party. Quite simply it is the sentiment expressed. Let’s think about a regular memorial for […]
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Best Death Possible (part two) – A Daughter’s Mission
The Difference A Doula Makes An experienced Death Doula is someone familiar with many faces of death. While death is universal in its presence, it is individual in its experience. In my situation, a Doula would’ve been outside the grief circle, someone who could hold space for me as I expended my energy fighting for […]
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Best Death Possible – Part One -A Mother’s Death
Today, December 13, 2020 is the fifteenth anniversary of my mother’s transition. Until this time I haven’t shared the details of my experience of her death. There are so many things I would do differently, most are details that would matter only to me, however one thing I believe could’ve changed the outcome. I want […]
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Attachment To Things Has Gotten A Bad Rap
In a country where hoarding is an epidemic, while simultaneously Marie Kondo has become a celebrity for downsizing, it’s important to understand the reason behind our attachment to possessions and the therapeutic value ‘things’ have in grieving. “They paved paradise and put up a parking lot,” 🎶 a popular lyric and a popular trend when […]
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Ask The Death Witch – Seeing Dead People
A worried daughter asks, “What do we do when my mom hallucinates? She keeps seeing her dead father.” These are not hallucinations. There is a reason it is called ‘crossing over’ when people die. In every way it is a crossing over to ‘the other side’. In the process of crossing over they have one […]
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What The Lack Of End Of Life Planning Really Costs
I want to share a deeply personal story. At the time of his death my daughter’s father and I had been divorced for four years. During our 23 year marriage, because of my career, we always had open discussions about dying and death. We were open with our daughter about death, never shielding or protecting […]
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To Tell, Or Not To Tell The Children, There’s No Question
It is our job as parents to protect, nurture, and guide our children into whole human beings. It is our responsibility to do this to the best of our ability. If we do it right, the parenting role will take us outside our comfort zone more often than it doesn’t. Sometimes stretching us into improved […]
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A Dialogue About Death
Every story ever written has a beginning, middle and an end. Every author considers the end when first sitting down to write a storyline; However in the greatest story an individual will ever author, the end is often left unscripted. We can’t write death in on our calendars and begin to plan when it seems […]
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Pandemic Traumatic Grief
To a certain degree there is trauma in every loss, whether it is the unexpectedness of it, the suffering of it, the impact of it, the violence of it or the massiveness of it. Every loss has an element of trauma to it. It is the magnitude of the event that makes it traumatic. As […]