The Most Important Question

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Yesterday I had the immense privilege to co-facilitate a memorial service at a retirement village. Three beloved residents died within the past few months. Two, very unexpectedly and there was no time for good-byes.

My co-worker and I designed a simple but powerful service to allow them to do just that. We provided the framework and they put in the pictures.

It didn’t go perfectly, but it was perfect.

During the service a lady with Down’s Syndrome came up to say a few words. No one’s ears could understand the words she was saying, but our hearts understood her clearly. Grief is a wound that needs no words to explain it. We all understand.

Holding space for people to explore their wounds is when I’m at my best. I know I am in service then.

I set daily reminders on my phone. The first one reminds me that my devotion attracts resources and support. What devotion? Devotion is another word for attention. What is attention? The direction of my energy. So, the direction of my energy attracts the resources and support that I need to fulfill my destiny. Check.

The second one reminds me that everything I need and more is on its way to me. The Universe is always conspiring on my behalf (yours too, btw) and it provides me everything that I need and so much more I didn’t even realize I could need. Check.

The third one is the one I want to talk about today, so I’ll come back to that.

The fourth one is to remind me to surrender to Divine Grace. This is a reminder that there is more working through me than from me and I need to surrender each day to the Divine. Divine Grace is my word for the year. To feel it. To live it. To BE it. Check.

These three reminders are vital to my daily practice. But the most important one is the third one. This one is a question.

Am I in service to the Light within me?

I could ask myself this question 30 times a day. Before each meal, before I utter the words on my tongue, before I react to a thoughtless deed…

Am I in service to the Light within me?

There are some days the answer is ‘kinda’. And there are other days that it is a ‘maybe’. But yesterday that answer was ‘YES’.

When I am in service to the Light within me I am in a zone. It is where I was when that beautiful woman came up to speak, with one tear running down her cheek, uttering intelligible words that my Soul understood. It is where I was when I stumbled through the closing. It is where I was when the music we planned didn’t cooperate. It is where I was when one resident announced her desire to share the stories of the loss of all her pets.

The feeling of being in service to the Light within is undeniable. It is incomparable. It is where I want to live all the time.

It has been a challenging week at my ‘day job’ as my coworker and I struggled to be Divine Grace in the face of incongruence, displaced anger and dishonesty.

But the Universe conspired to have us end on this powerfully transformative moment that elevated us. This is what we are meant to do. To be of service…

…of service to the Light within others as well as to the Light within ourselves.

You don’t have to wait until you are working at your dream job to be of service to the Light within you. To get to work at your dream job, it pays to bring your Light to whatever job you are at now. Your Light will draw the resources and support you need to find that dream job.

In fact, it pays to bring your Light to whatever you are doing now…grocery shopping, gardening, talking to the neighbors.

The world is filled with darkness because so many are afraid to show their Light…afraid that they will be judged, laughed at, ridiculed, ostracized. Ok, you might be, but your Light can handle it. Your Light is not dependent upon the acceptance of strangers.

When you learn to stand with your Light shining, you serve as an example and inspiration to others to stand with their Light shining. With all this Light there will be less and less room for darkness. No corners for it to hide in.

When more people stand with their Light shining there will be less crime, less war, less bullying, less suicide, less anxiety, less depression and less cancer. There will be more peace, more sharing, more prosperity, more laughter, more health and more joy.

Are you in service to the Light within you?

Can you make a practice of asking yourself that every day? Are you in service to the Light within you in the car on the way to work? Greeting your co-workers? Completing your tasks? Answering the call from a friend? Running errands? Eating a meal? Thinking a thought? Holding a belief?

Is this (thought, word or action) in service to the Light within me? Is this who I want to be? If its not, then you have a choice.

Changing your life is not ONE decision, it is a million decisions. It is every decision you make.

The only way to have a fulfilling life is to be in service to the Light within you. It has nothing to do with your house, your cars, your job, your bank account, your looks…

It has everything to do with your attitude, your heart, your beliefs, your acceptance, your allowance, your kindness…

Your life is not happening TO you, it is happening because of you. You are of your own making.

Stop chasing quick highs to escape your pain. Examine your pain. Understand it. Embrace it. Then you can heal it and let it go. Holding on to pain is not noble, it is in direct conflict of being in service to the Light within you. It is the darkness. It is the dis-ease. It is the addiction.

I promise there is no greater high than being of service to the Light within you. It cannot be duplicated by any synthetic means and if you are being courted by addictive behaviors then it is a clear sign your Soul is longing to share its Light.

I love you.

~Jade

“Empowering Women”

“Empowering Women” is big business right now. Or at least it is in my circles. I can’t scroll through Facebook without an add or a post from someone who describes their work as ’empowering women’.

These people seem to have successful businesses doing it. I say seem because who knows what is real. Anyone can say anything in their own advertising. Damn, you can even write your own testimonials. People are notorious for test driving fancy cars through fancy neighborhoods, taking a photo and presenting it as if it were their own manifestation. Yes, if you are paying attention, I am a little jaded – pun intended – on my own industry right about now. Because I don’t like tactics, or facades. I like real and authentic. But that’s another topic.

I do not and will not ever say I empower women. Women -actually, everyone – are born empowered. That Light that makes you alive is power. You always have it. You can’t lose it and I can’t give it to you. I can’t even do a ceremonial ritual to activate it in you. The very best I can do is ENABLE you to access it, because someone else DISABLED your access to it, prior. Honestly, all that disabling was an illusion anyway, so I’m really just pulling back the curtain. Its easier when you have the right tools, and I’ve been collecting them for a long time now.

What I’ve noticed lately in this empowerment culture, is a call to Sisterhood. What I’ve also noticed is that it is Sisterhoods run like The Boy’s Club. It is sisterhood as long as some one is doing poorly and those in power (hierarchy) can feel good about themselves lending a hand up.

Have you noticed that in a group of women when one puts herself down, makes herself small and criticizes herself, all the other women rally around and tell her how beautiful she is, how amazing she is, how much she has to offer and that she needs to find her voice to speak her truth?

Have you also noticed that, in that same group of women, when one who’s found her voice, speaks her truth compassionately, lends her educated opinion intelligently and offers to share her gifts generously, that same group of women put her ‘in her place’ and tear her down – telling her she is full of herself, opinionated, self-promoting and self-serving? “Polite” people will call her intimidating. (I’m not talking about those who practice the ‘fake it til you make it’ protocol. That is overcompensation, not authentic and not at all what I’m referencing here.)

I’ve watched it now, specifically for 6 months in various formats. So often I see women eager to raise up others they perceive to be beneath them, and tear down other women they perceive to be above them. Even more so, I see women aggressively tear down those they might feel are equal to them, because they see them as direct competition.

This is the Old Boy’s Club paradigm at work. They have divided us first from men, then from each other by race, religion and socioeconomic status. How smart that Boy’s Club is! We do all their dirty work for them! We take each other out for the smallest crumbs at the table. All they have to do then is take out the few that rise above the culling of the herd.

We have become our own worst enemy at exactly the worst time.

This world needs the Divine Feminine more than ever, but we have disabled ourselves. We have turned on each other and made it so we would each prefer to side with men, because at least there we know where we stand. We know what to expect. We know that we will be insulted to our face, not stabbed in the back. (And I think subconsciously, we think that is the path to power.)

Ever wonder why a woman would side with a man against all reason? Why when he treats her so poorly, she will stand with him against other women? Because of the Boy’s Club mentality. It is what has women support someone who openly admits that his power allows him to grab women by the pussy, and that those women think they are special because of it. It is why we immediately question a female victim’s motives, rather than supporting her in telling her story.

Like I said, the Boys did their jobs well.

It starts early and never seems to end. I experienced sexual harassment from a gang of girls in the sixth grade. My own mother threw me out of the house when she found out I’d reported my college teacher for sexual harassment. I experienced a gang of women chiding and making fun of me after I reported having been trapped in an office by a male co-worker unknown to me who made sexual references.

Have you seen this video circulating on Facebook?

You.

Must.

Watch.

We have too much been told we are too much. We have too much been dimmed. We have too much wounded one another in the race to the top of the pyramid. Enough!

Enough of the school yard bullying. Enough of the board room bullying. Enough! If you are a woman than your first inclination towards another woman needs to be kindness not competition. Boys have pit us against one another for far too long…since grade school for many of us. Enough.

I see so many women calling themselves warriors, boss bitches and even some who call themselves ‘spiritual gangsters’. This is not the way to embrace and honor the Divine Feminine! These are all men’s pants that women are putting on! We need to be the gentler strength. We need to be Queens and Goddesses! We need to be Maids, Mothers and Crones!! We need to embrace the strong woman archetypes of all variations, not just the ones that exhibit Divine Masculine.

We need to ‘beat’ them at our game, not try to play theirs. I just watched the most heart wrenching video of one of the most heroic women I have ever heard of. She isn’t a politician. She isn’t telling her ‘me too’ story. She hasn’t gone to the board room and declared war.

She was held captive and beaten for two days by her boyfriend, before she convinced him to take her and her dog to the veterinarian’s clinic. She then got out of eyesight of her boyfriend, wrote a note and slipped it to a tech behind the desk. In the note she states that she’s being threatened and her boyfriend has a gun. The staff went into action, put them in an isolated room and called the police without alerting anyone. The arrest was made smoothly without incident to her. Then she broke down while she displayed her bruises.

If you haven’t seen it, watch it here

It’s heart breaking but makes me so proud to be a woman. Never give up.

One woman had told her story in front of the nation and faced her accused abuser. I believe 100% of women need to support her, but I am shocked to find that not so. I do not understand.

And then today I see a video of a white woman who, without cause, barred a black gentleman from entering his own apartment building. And then I saw a post by a black woman who was reported to security and the police by a white man as she was going through her own trunk.

Underlying premise…people of color cannot have nice things.

What does that have to do with empowering women? 1) What if the roles had been reversed?  What if he had done that to her? And if she truly thought he didn’t belong why did she willingly lock herself into a confined space with him? 2) That white male…would he have called the police if he’d seen that black woman being raped instead of rummaging in her trunk? Or would he have chosen ‘not to get involved’?

I do not understand the society mindset today.

Women. We need to have each other’s backs and we need to not become douchebags and call it ‘asserting ourselves’.

Let’s be better.

I love you. I do. But some days…..

~Jade

 

 

It Always Comes Down To Choice

There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle. ~Albert Einstein

This simple quote affected me in quite a magnanimous way. Suddenly, everything made sense. It all comes down to what we choose to see.

Today I was in Meijer, grocery shopping. I’ve had a stress-filled couple of days including 9 hours in the car. I didn’t feel like showering or putting on make-up but we needed food. So, I threw on a tank top, some yoga pants and ran a brush through my hair.

As I walked through the store, I noticed how my body is moving differently. With all the foods I’ve eliminated, the inflammation in my body is also being eliminated. I notice muscles that seem to have been too paralyzed to move before. I notice how I walk differently, using different muscles, standing straighter…feeling straighter.

As I gathered the items needed I was also creating a recipe in my head. A roasted garlic cheese dip, to be exact. I hadn’t found a recipe that sounded quite right, so I’m creating it in my head as I shop, hoping it will be finished so I can gather all the ingredients.

One of the things I love about Michigan is the people are so nice here. More noticeably so than anywhere else I’ve been. I love making eye contact, smiling and exchanging greetings. Everyone this morning seemed to be particularly engaging.

I was walking through the store, with my recipe creating in my head and also thinking how really awesome Life is, and how the Universal Laws are always in effect…even if you don’t believe they exist. I had such deep gratitude and admiration for how things have shown up at my life, at just the right time as I’ve become more in alignment. All pieces have to be in place in just the right order for them to be most effective. But the beautiful thing is, you don’t have to know what that order is, you just have to work on your alignment and they fall into place!

Everything in Divine Timing. You might want to work on one thing, not realizing that something else, or multiple things, need to be aligned before that original thing.  It might be months or even years before that thing sees results, which can be disheartening if you aren’t paying attention to all the other issues coming into alignment.

The past 4 years I’ve been on a roll, even though it hasn’t felt like it. This year though it is quite evident, and I can see exactly why events needed to take place exactly as they have. Exactly.

Back to Meijer…as I was standing in the baking aisle, attempting to find sugar free chocolate chips with no artificial sweeteners, it happened. One of those crystal clear revelations. I was standing, staring at the shelves of baking chips, when this woman interrupts me to tell me about this great mixed nut find she uses as an alternative to other nuts for baking crusts.

She just started talking to me. She didn’t ask me a question about what I was looking for or what I was baking. She just offered her expertise. I found myself wondering why she chose me to reveal this secret to. I have no interest in this information at this point. I’m not even looking at the nuts.

And then I thought, “I’m really glad that I am someone with whom others want to share their experience. I’m glad she felt comfortable sharing this with me.” She was brief, didn’t take up much of my time (though time surely slowed down for all this awareness to happen.)

And in that moment, I realized I had made a choice.

I could have been annoyed or I could be grateful.

I was crystal clear on that moment when someone makes that choice. It was as if I was out of my body watching the whole encounter.

Is this one of the surprising side effects to being in alignment? It’s so strong that others are compelled to engage with you? As an empath I’ve always been someone with whom others share personal stuff rather easily, but it hasn’t always been healthy. I remember once, being trapped by a woman in a Kohl’s bathroom because she had positioned herself between me and the door and wouldn’t stop telling me about her life problems. My friend actually came to find me and pull me out after a half hour of waiting for me. But this doesn’t feel like that. This feels like something else altogether. This feels magical. It feels like a reward; sweet, kind and without boundary violations.

Life is an illusion of our own creation. That’s it. In a nutshell. You can either paint with all the colors of the pallet or stick with brown and black. It’s completely up to you. Everyone gets the same pallet, but a different canvas; it’s up to you to choose what colors go on that canvas.

monochrome photography of frames
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My friends used to call me the Queen of Reframing…and I am, I suppose. Have you ever picked out a piece of unframed art? You fall in love with this piece on canvas and then begin looking for the right frame to really bring out the parts you love about the piece. The frame changes your experience of that painting. The right frame can turn a simple insignificant piece of art into a masterpiece. Of course, the opposite is also true. It can completely ruin a piece and make it undesirable. 

Framing is an art.

So (as it so often is in my writings) it is in life. At any point we have the choice of which frame to put on a particular painting.

When I get up every morning I choose the types of frame at my disposal. So when that lady approached me in the grocery store, it wasn’t random. That frame is in my energy field which communicated a resonance with her. This is how she knew it was safe to share with me. I walk through my life with that energy following me, preceding me and surrounding me.

The really beautiful thing is that it has a blossoming effect. You start with the mindset…that choice of frame. That leads to an improved vibration which feels good. This goes out into your energy field and resonates with other like-vibing things (people and events), which draws them to you. These improved experiences resonate with you on a higher vibe which feels good and improves your mindset. You then respond with an even higher vibration and the cycle starts all over again.

This is how it works. Life. It’s what people mean when they say you get back what you give out. It isn’t about usurping the natural process of life that ebbs and flows. It is about maximizing those flows and managing those ebbs, though.

It is how you make the most of life.

And that is where I shall leave you for today. In the very magical place of choice.

I love you.

~Jade

 

 

Victim Mindset

Overcoming one’s traumas and the victim identity can be a tricky thing.

While we tend to think of victim thinking as ‘poor me’ thinking, that is only one type. Victim thinking can take many forms.

Think about trauma like conquering a mountain. The midst of the trauma is tantamount to scaling the mountain . You are at the mercy of the mountain. The mountain and your survival is what consumes you. Every step you take, every decision you make is because of the mountain. At any moment the mountain could claim your life. Your whole goal is to get to the top alive. You suffer because of the mountain, therefore you are an active victim of the mountain.

One day you find yourself on top of the mountain! You are done scaling! You commemorate your victory by planting your flag and do a dance! You sit atop the mountain and look back on the terrain that you overcame and you celebrate it! Rightfully so! You still suffer the mountain though, so you are still a victim of the mountain…a surviving victim, but a victim, nonetheless.

Then comes the time to descend the mountain. Every decision you make is still dictated by the mountain, but things are easier now. You are working with gravity and using tools that make the decent much more rapid than the ascent. You are (re)covering the terrain of the mountain and understanding from a different vantage point just how daunting the task had been. You still suffer the mountain, so you are a recovering victim, but a victim nonetheless.

At the bottom of the mountain a transport waits to take you back to a little city in the foothills of the mountain, where you get a hot bath, sweet-smelling soaps, and a hot meal, as well as a clean bed to rest in. You stay here just long enough to regain your strength. You get the proper treatment to set your wounds and injuries on the right path to healing. You debrief as others ask you questions about your adventure and you relive the accomplishment while telling the tale. You rest and begin to rise again in the aftercare, but still you suffer the effects of the mountain so you are a recuperating victim, but a victim nonetheless.

After you are recuperated you discard the equipment that was damaged in the climb, pack up your gear and head off for home. A place far away from the mountain. In your new home you put up a picture of your victory moment and store away your survival gear. Your home is decorated with many aspects of yourself, but only one picture of your conquering Mt. Trauma. Initially, new people in your life will be curious about the picture on your mantel and they will ask about it. Or you might be in a coffee shop and in conversation about what you’ve been up to, you would naturally mention that you recently conquered Mt. Trauma. After some time, however, Mt. Trauma would not come up in general conversation and you are moving away from being any kind of victim of the mountain. You are a transcending victim.

Eventually, Mt. Trauma would just be a picture on your mantelpiece. Then one day that picture might go into a scrapbook and only be revisited once in a long while along with a lot of other memories. This is the point where you have truly conquered Mt. Trauma and are no longer its victim. You have transcended victimhood and become you’re own hero!

The whole process is necessary for complete healing. You can’t skip a step. You can’t jump from survivor to transcending. Coming down from the mountain, telling your story, getting loving support to recuperate and working through to establish a new norm are all vital in getting to transcendence.

If you get stuck on top of the mountain or in the foothills you are still a victim of the mountain. You cannot stay atop the mountain yelling about how you conquered it, and not still be its victim. You cannot take up residence in the cozy foothills, repeatedly telling your story and not still be its victim. You can’t decorate your house predominantly with pictures of Mt. Trauma, plaques that say you climbed Mt. Trauma and display your survival gear as wall decorations and not still be a victim of Mt. Trauma!

If your identity is centered around how you overcame the mountain, then you have become an inside out victim of the mountain.

What is an inside out victim?

It is someone who’s whole identity revolves around being a survivor. As we’ve discussed, a survivor is still a victim. Many of those in the helping professions, including motivational speakers and self-help phenomena are doing nothing more than glorifying the victim status by disguising it with cute little catch phrases. Continuing to highlight the fact that you were once a victim only serves to perpetuate the victim status. Much like you can’t not think of an elephant when someone tells you not to think of an elephant. They are relative terms. One does not exist without the other. You cannot hear ‘survivor’ without associating it with that of which you had once been an active victim. So even though labeling yourself a survivor sounds like a healthy thing to do, you are continuing to subject your subconscious to the victim dichotomy message.

When things in your past are taking up a lot of space in conversations in the present there is a problem. Inside out victims can often come up with some elaborate schemes to present as noble and healthy individuals. Often they put themselves on display where they can show off (without making it look like it) their success at overcoming their past, setting themselves up as an authority and “help” others overcome as they did. The problem with this is that the repeated retelling of their story is the indication that they have not transcended it at all. In fact, it would be my suggestion that this person never did the recovering and recuperating necessary to reach transcending. My thought is that they kept it deep down hidden, rarely talked about it, until they came across something that seemed to give them a pass straight to transcendence. It doesn’t work that way. There are no short cuts in living authentically and healthy.

This is not to disparage all self-help motivators. The most amazing ones can offer changes in perception so drastic that they change lives. These motivators rarely reveal their own past and when they do, it is mostly in snippets to establish credibility or connection with their client. They don’t advertise their story over and over. They don’t give you fancy terms to identify yourself. They give you real tools that enable you to live a well-lived life that don’t include looking at Mt. Trauma in the rearview mirror.

You may ask why looking at Mt. Trauma in the rearview mirror is not desirable. When do you look in your rearview mirror when you are driving? When you are backing up and when you need to see what is coming up from behind you. If you are moving straight ahead there is no need for a rearview mirror.

I love you.

~Jade

Let’s Talk “Spiritual Bypass”

affection blur buddha buddhism
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Have you heard this term?

It has become a new buzzword in the personal and spiritual development worlds. First of all, I find it redundant. What I understand spiritual bypass to be is nothing more than regular old denial/distraction, with a spiritual flavor. No need to call it something else.

Secondly, its really convenient for those who wish to stay stuck to have a really special name to discount the next step of growth.

Spiritual bypass: just another name for denial/distraction

Denial is ignoring that a problem exists and when we are in denial we tend to distract ourselves from the work to alleviate the problem.

If you’ve been following me you’ve probably heard me say at some time that anything can be an addiction. Anything. ANY. THING.

When we think of addiction, we think of things like recreational drugs, alcohol, and prescription drugs. Then we might think of gambling, shopping and sex. Rarely will you think of work, exercise or even relationships. Anything is an addiction if you are using it to avoid processing something.

That said, spirituality can indeed become an addiction and used to usurp the current human experience you are facing and deny yourself the experience of feelings. This, from what I understand, is spiritual bypass. But its not just a bypass, its an addiction.

Spiritual bypass is when one avoids the icky sticky messy feelings of our experiences by explaining them away as ‘meant to be’ or ‘serving our highest good’. It isn’t the philosophy (‘meant to be’ or ‘serving our highest good’), its the using of it to dismiss the experience and not engage in it in the moment.

Every event in our lives needs to be processed. This is why repressed memories reap issues many years later. Like undigested food in our gut, these memories unprocessed by our mind and spirit will infect our body. Can you imagine what would happen if we had undigested food sitting in our intestines for years?

We can’t develop shortcuts to avoid the real work. Just like you can’t eat junk food, take diet pills but work out obsessively to be healthy.

Convenient label

More than a few times I’ve had the term ‘that’s spiritual bypass’ thrown at me while discussing changing perspectives to look at something in a new way to find healing. There’s no questioning, just a venomous application of the label and attempt to incite an argument.

How convenient. How nice to have a handy little term that relieves you of your obligation to improve. Don’t like what someone says when you want your victimization validated? Just accuse them of spiritual bypass. And wait until you see how many people are ready to jump in on that ambush! WOW!

It’s easy to understand how some could see it this way. In fact, there was a time when I also had that same response (without the label) to something the Dalai Lama said about attachment or suffering. I’m not sure, because now, no matter how many quotes I read, I can find nothing that resembles what I thought I read back then. What I remember clearly is this visceral reaction to someone taking away the justification I had for experiencing more suffering than is necessary.

I remember thinking, ‘that is usurping the human experience’. But as I continued to expand spiritually, I came to realize that honest emotion is not suffering – and not to what he was referring. Honest emotion are the normal human emotions we are meant to experience as part of this human being-ness.

That’s what we can’t shortcut our way through. The other stuff though. The stuff implanted into our brains by well-meaning and not-so-well-meaning individuals that creates premises that foster unnecessary suffering.

When we understand things as ‘meant to be’ or ‘serving our highest good’ after feeling the emotion of loss (for instance), we use the painful experience to expand. Pain is not equivalent to suffering. Suffering is the unnecessary struggle between your highest self and the conditioning of society. Pain is the wound, suffering is the infection.

The wound is grief after the loss of a loved one. Suffering is, after the initial period of grieving, delving into deep depression because of a belief that we only get one true love in life and you just lost yours. Suffering sets in at the time that healing should be beginning.

A compliment

More recently the term spiritual bypass was tossed at me in response to an inspired post I made about a tough subject. I love important discussions and this one was/is super important. Not only did someone I consider a spiritual mentor suggest my thoughts were spiritual bypass, but another suggested it was ignorant.

I was taken aback, to say the least. Not about the the second one, but about my spiritual mentor. I was shocked and shock leads to shift. (Ever notice that?) I realized that the image I had created in my mind about this ‘mentor’ was entirely fabricated. It was based on ego – mine actually – my idea that this ‘mentor’ was something I wasn’t and had something I didn’t. So, I was totally shocked when she couldn’t see my point and mentioned spiritual bypass. I could see so clearly how this situation is just a further evolution of the spiritual laws and beliefs that she and I had discussed and that she teaches. Why couldn’t she?

It wasn’t until writing this that I realized being accused of spiritual bypass is a compliment if you’re living resonantly. If you are living resonantly, you can’t inadvertently slip into any addiction, let alone spiritual bypass. You can’t. You spend too much time analyzing, weighing and pondering the vibration of things to be in denial! Those vibrations don’t align! Someone telling you that you are ‘spiritual bypassing’ when you have given your idea much thought and reflection is a great compliment. It means you’ve vibrated past wherever they are and have been tasked with presenting them with an opportunity to expand! What a gift that is to both!

If you are one, quick to call ‘spiritual bypass’ make sure you aren’t the one on bypass…

 

I love you.

~Jade

PS – The June 16th event is closed. July 14th is the next available Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat and Workshop. Make sure you register before this one closes too! If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to feel pure joy, heal old traumas or do energy healing. We’ll be doing all that and more. If you’ve felt blocked or stifled on your journey then this is the perfect opportunity to explore alternative therapies and perspectives that will enhance your experience of life.

 

 

Surviving Vs. Living Resonantly

 

“When you’re surviving you can’t dream.”

No truer words. How simple and yet so powerful. Its true, when our focus is on surviving there is no room or energy to dream. And yet dreaming is how we move beyond surviving.

Living resonantly means living in such a way that we make decisions and choices based on how they resonate with our soul. This man is a perfect example of living resonantly. He’s made choices that resonate with his soul all along the way and see how it comes out in his voice!

When we live resonantly we find our voice! We find our strength! We find true selves! We don’t have just one passion, we have a life filled with passions!!! And one passion leads to another!

Surviving is about competition…’survival of the fittest’. It is filled with the intention of lack. There isn’t enough to go around and if I don’t grab this I will fail to survive. The whole goal is on surviving not thriving. And life is meant to be about thriving. About living with purpose, intent and passion. Anything less is a waste.

As Simon says, ‘it isn’t about technical…it’s about being Real.”

That makes me think of my favorite childhood story, The Velveteen Rabbit.

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.
“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”
“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

We can’t be ugly, or imperfect, or not worth it, or not enough or…or…or…or…or to anyone except those who don’t understand. That is no reflection on us. We are not responsible for their unhappy filters that they perceive the world through.

It doesn’t matter if someone doesn’t like you because you are not their physical type, or the color of your skin, or the religion you believe in. It doesn’t matter. Those people are not your people. Those people do not understand. We cannot force them to understand by any legislation or tactic. We can only effect change by being a shining example of being Real. Because when they feel the resonance of being Real, they will notice the difference.

I thought I was just going to hit ‘share’ and be done with this. That’s what living resonantly does…it takes you places you didn’t expect but never any place you regret.

I love you,

~Jade

The Art of Being Misunderstood

Being judged by another is painful…and timely, as I just finished hitting ‘publish’ on my conflict resolution piece entitled “Don’t Be The Bigger Person”. (The judgement is not related to the article, but rather a response to an unrelated post where I responded quite openly and without reservation.)

I warn you, this is a processing piece. Many times I come to the computer after I’ve processed my experience. This is different. This is my process in action.

UGH…

I feel misunderstood and I am tempted to clarify the record. But that energy does not feel good. It is possible that what I wrote is not what she read. In fact, that is likely so.

What I had to do is let go of the need to not be wrong. I had to let it be ok for them to hold on to their perceptions. Even if they involved me, they were none of my business and served a different purpose.

Once I let go of that, the ‘pain’ of being misunderstood was gone. Now its just a little sore from where I recoiled. My response served a different purpose than my intent and held more truth than this person was prepared to process.

What I also reminded myself is that this is not the first time this person did not resonate with me. So, this is further validation that we are not on the same vibrational frequency.

It feels like something must come next though. As though I need to act upon this experience in another way. I am moved to make a move.

This morning my cards included stepping into the Medicine Wheel to evaluate what I was holding onto from the past, what relationships I was holding onto that were toxic and draining and what I wanted my next chapter to look like. I think I have to let go of this particular space where this judgement took place. I think what I learned today was that I have vibrated past it and the valuable lessons it once gave me, give me no more.

I have a sense of grief at that. Because the one who holds the space was part of the discomfort today, but not the initiator of it. However, the initiator is in some ways sponsored by the holder.

Yes. I have to let go. Of all of it.

Sigh…

The ideas I attempted to communicate today are so beyond what I held in my head just yesterday, it seems. I cannot fault someone for their perspective, even if their perspective is faulting me.

OH….

That’s huge for me.

I cannot fault someone for their perspective, even if their perspective is faulting me.

This could not have happened in a more significant and poignant way. My lesson to not find fault in someone’s perspective (which I already accepted) even when their perspective is finding fault in me (this was the new expansion part).

My spiritual development is the reason I get out of bed every morning. I am one to measure my every thought action and deed against not only my own from the previous day, but also against every other one that comes across my awareness. It is the only way I can be assured I am doing my due diligence to be my highest best self every single day.

Today I expressed thoughts I’d had for a long time but found difficult to put into words. Today I found out the majority of society is not ready to hear them. On this subject, society is feeling the need to rectify a wrong by labeling a victim. Yet, this is incongruent to everything I know about living a fulfilling and high vibration life.

I have to leave them where they lie.

This is not an easy feeling for me. I hate it, actually. I don’t feel ‘better’ knowing that I may be on the cutting edge of new thought. A part of me still feels bad being misunderstood. Much like how I felt when my daughter was young and didn’t understand why I had to say no to something.

I’ll just let that sit there for a minute.

Being a leader doesn’t require us to be liked. It requires us to be open. To do what we believe to be right and be accountable if in the future it is determined we were wrong. I am always open to discussion and conversation. That can’t happen with name calling and labeling. And it can’t happen if someone else isn’t open to digest what we have to say. It goes without saying, I hope, that we must be open to digesting what another has to say as well.

Being open as leaders sometimes leaves us vulnerable to hecklers, to critics and to rejection. That is the way of it. No one said being on the Spiritual Path granted you reprieve from the above. In fact, just look at all the spiritual icons you know – every one of them has travelled that bumpy road. Not to compare myself to them, but what would make me think that I would be immune to something they were not?

There are moments when a shift occurs and you don’t even notice it. There are other moments that you are aware just caused a shift so big you can’t imagine the fall out. I have a feeling this is one of those times. It has a bittersweet taste, I’ll be honest. Not my most comfortable experience, to be sure, but that’s where growth happens. Growth is in the discomfortable places not in the comfortable ones.

Yay me. *sarcasm*

What the hell. This humaning is hard work. This spiritual endeavoring in a human body is even harder. I don’t regret it. Not one second of it. In fact, once I’ve processed I can even be grateful for it, because as I said growth happens in the discomfort zone.

See, I don’t preach this stuff, I live it!!

Thanks for witnessing my processing. It feels good to share it out loud today!

I love you!!!!!!!!

~Jade

 

What Is A Strong Person?

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On my Facebook page I asked “When you think of a strong person, what comes to mind?” Inquiring into behaviors, actions, thoughts and philosophies. The answers were many an varied. Some I resonated with, some I did not. What I loved was the conversation we were having.
When I think of strong individuals I look to those who have experienced challenges and grown from them by becoming ‘better not bitter’. That’s the bottom line.
 
It is not someone who hides their truth and puts on a false smile. It is someone who feels the feels, cries the tears, then dries them and finds the takeaway.
 
It is someone who goes out of their way to do no harm, including doing no harm to his own self. Thus, it is NOT someone who cares more about others, than they do themselves, but instead, one who cares about others AS MUCH as they care about themselves.
 
It is someone who speaks truth, but in a kind way when it is most likely to be heard with an open heart.
 
It is someone who has suffered pain but keeps her heart open to those who show up and do the work.
 
It is also the someone who shows up and does the work.
 
It is someone who pushes through and assists others on the path, not run them over.
 
It is someone who has every reason and opportunity to be angry but chooses to love. It is someone who loves himself first and lets that love flow unto others.
 
It is someone who does not see things in ‘right or wrong’ or ‘fair’. It is someone who realizes everyone’s journey is different and has value.
 
It is someone who is not in competition to be better or worse than her sister/brother, but interested in being better than her self, yesterday.
 
I know a lot of strong women. I know a lot of strong men. I know a lot of individuals who think they are strong and are not (not for the reasons they think that is). I know a lot of individuals who think they are not strong but really are.
 
Your default setting is set on strong. You are strength incarnated because you are unconditional love and what could be stronger than that??!! There is nothing stronger than that!!! We can be convinced by societal conditioning that we are not strong because of thus and so. Its a lie. A misnomer. Misinformation. Hogwash.
 
Find your strength and choose better not bitter.
I love you!
~Jade

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.

Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 

Join us for more conversation in our Facebook group Willow Song Firekeepers

As of now Jade is limiting the one on one work she does. For availability please email an inquiry.

To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

Unconditional Love – What is it Really?

This is a common misperception…that unconditional love and boundaries/standards are mutually exclusive!!

Unconditional love means you love someone the way they are. This does NOT mean you have to be in relationship with them.

Its kind of like loving dairy but not eating it because it causes you ill effects. You can love it but not consume it.

Having boundaries and standards of the way you wish to be treated in a particular relationship is a structure you design and you love people unconditionally within that structure. For instance, you might love your husband and your child unconditionally but because they are different relationship structures you love very differently, right?

Same thing with other relatives. Each relationship has its own structure, but the basis (if you love yourself) will be one of respect, integrity and honesty.

You don’t need to, in fact, you should never, accept just any old treatment from someone and call that loving them! That is not love, that is codependence.

 You can love someone unconditionally but if they cannot maintain a healthy dynamic with you, you can choose not to be in relationship with them.

Does that make sense?

I love you!
~Jade

Thoughts Or Feelings – Which Came First?

Do our thoughts dictate our feelings or do our feelings dictate our thoughts?

I had never given it any thought at all until someone asked me that very question one day many many years ago. Without much hesitation I answered definitively that my feelings dictate my thoughts. I feel something then I have a thought about it.

Watch the video to see how that changed for me.

Video