Tag: death
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The Good Death
The Good Death When I’m dying, I want it to be slow. Not slow like a hot Sunday service in an old church, Nor any Tuesday at a job that sucked my soul; But slow like watching sunsets rocking on back porches, And fishing off the end of a lake house pier. I want slow […]
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What The Lack Of End Of Life Planning Really Costs
I want to share a deeply personal story. At the time of his death my daughter’s father and I had been divorced for four years. During our 23 year marriage, because of my career, we always had open discussions about dying and death. We were open with our daughter about death, never shielding or protecting […]
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To Tell, Or Not To Tell The Children, There’s No Question
It is our job as parents to protect, nurture, and guide our children into whole human beings. It is our responsibility to do this to the best of our ability. If we do it right, the parenting role will take us outside our comfort zone more often than it doesn’t. Sometimes stretching us into improved […]
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A Dialogue About Death
Every story ever written has a beginning, middle and an end. Every author considers the end when first sitting down to write a storyline; However in the greatest story an individual will ever author, the end is often left unscripted. We can’t write death in on our calendars and begin to plan when it seems […]
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The Importance of Emotional Estate Planning
True or False? “I’m not sick. I have plenty of time to do my emotional estate planning.” False. While it is never too late to start emotional estate planning, it is also never too early. Emotional estate planning should not be reserved for those suffering a terminal or chronic illness who are nearing death. Just […]
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We Aren't Immortal
“So I find myself speechless, an animal unheard of…my father is now on comfort care, unexpected to live past the weekend. Who prepares you for such a calamity of events? Who prepares you for a hostile mother, wickedness and comfortable in her environment. I’m not prepared, is anyone?” This is an actual facebook post of […]
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The Power of Presence
It was a Monday, like any other Monday and I had a new patient to assess. Talking to the hospice nurse before I made my visit I learned that Violet had been admitted on Friday in stable condition was expected to be with us a few weeks. The nurse thought I would find her delightful. […]
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When Death Comes – An End of Life Doula Perspective
Early on Life taught me that it had a set of bookends named Birth and Death. I was not afforded the luxury of death denial. I understood clearly that death was always part of the deal. This perspective impacted my life in a deep soulful way. A way that made me seem odd in the […]
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Death Is Imminent
When I try to explain how I can help with the last days or even with the grieving period, I get a little tongue tied. I don’t have a set formula or pat answers to any situation. What I have is intuition that leads me to suggest things to a particular person in a particular […]
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Isn’t That What Hospice Is For?
I spoke to a hospital chaplain the other day to speak to her about my end of life doula services. Her initial response to me was, “that’s what we have hospice for.” If you haven’t already, pause here to read https://willowsongmedicine.wordpress.com/2019/09/08/the-elephant-in-the-room-is-dying/ which gives relevant facts related to the systematic underutilization of hospice services and late […]