The Most Important Question

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Yesterday I had the immense privilege to co-facilitate a memorial service at a retirement village. Three beloved residents died within the past few months. Two, very unexpectedly and there was no time for good-byes.

My co-worker and I designed a simple but powerful service to allow them to do just that. We provided the framework and they put in the pictures.

It didn’t go perfectly, but it was perfect.

During the service a lady with Down’s Syndrome came up to say a few words. No one’s ears could understand the words she was saying, but our hearts understood her clearly. Grief is a wound that needs no words to explain it. We all understand.

Holding space for people to explore their wounds is when I’m at my best. I know I am in service then.

I set daily reminders on my phone. The first one reminds me that my devotion attracts resources and support. What devotion? Devotion is another word for attention. What is attention? The direction of my energy. So, the direction of my energy attracts the resources and support that I need to fulfill my destiny. Check.

The second one reminds me that everything I need and more is on its way to me. The Universe is always conspiring on my behalf (yours too, btw) and it provides me everything that I need and so much more I didn’t even realize I could need. Check.

The third one is the one I want to talk about today, so I’ll come back to that.

The fourth one is to remind me to surrender to Divine Grace. This is a reminder that there is more working through me than from me and I need to surrender each day to the Divine. Divine Grace is my word for the year. To feel it. To live it. To BE it. Check.

These three reminders are vital to my daily practice. But the most important one is the third one. This one is a question.

Am I in service to the Light within me?

I could ask myself this question 30 times a day. Before each meal, before I utter the words on my tongue, before I react to a thoughtless deed…

Am I in service to the Light within me?

There are some days the answer is ‘kinda’. And there are other days that it is a ‘maybe’. But yesterday that answer was ‘YES’.

When I am in service to the Light within me I am in a zone. It is where I was when that beautiful woman came up to speak, with one tear running down her cheek, uttering intelligible words that my Soul understood. It is where I was when I stumbled through the closing. It is where I was when the music we planned didn’t cooperate. It is where I was when one resident announced her desire to share the stories of the loss of all her pets.

The feeling of being in service to the Light within is undeniable. It is incomparable. It is where I want to live all the time.

It has been a challenging week at my ‘day job’ as my coworker and I struggled to be Divine Grace in the face of incongruence, displaced anger and dishonesty.

But the Universe conspired to have us end on this powerfully transformative moment that elevated us. This is what we are meant to do. To be of service…

…of service to the Light within others as well as to the Light within ourselves.

You don’t have to wait until you are working at your dream job to be of service to the Light within you. To get to work at your dream job, it pays to bring your Light to whatever job you are at now. Your Light will draw the resources and support you need to find that dream job.

In fact, it pays to bring your Light to whatever you are doing now…grocery shopping, gardening, talking to the neighbors.

The world is filled with darkness because so many are afraid to show their Light…afraid that they will be judged, laughed at, ridiculed, ostracized. Ok, you might be, but your Light can handle it. Your Light is not dependent upon the acceptance of strangers.

When you learn to stand with your Light shining, you serve as an example and inspiration to others to stand with their Light shining. With all this Light there will be less and less room for darkness. No corners for it to hide in.

When more people stand with their Light shining there will be less crime, less war, less bullying, less suicide, less anxiety, less depression and less cancer. There will be more peace, more sharing, more prosperity, more laughter, more health and more joy.

Are you in service to the Light within you?

Can you make a practice of asking yourself that every day? Are you in service to the Light within you in the car on the way to work? Greeting your co-workers? Completing your tasks? Answering the call from a friend? Running errands? Eating a meal? Thinking a thought? Holding a belief?

Is this (thought, word or action) in service to the Light within me? Is this who I want to be? If its not, then you have a choice.

Changing your life is not ONE decision, it is a million decisions. It is every decision you make.

The only way to have a fulfilling life is to be in service to the Light within you. It has nothing to do with your house, your cars, your job, your bank account, your looks…

It has everything to do with your attitude, your heart, your beliefs, your acceptance, your allowance, your kindness…

Your life is not happening TO you, it is happening because of you. You are of your own making.

Stop chasing quick highs to escape your pain. Examine your pain. Understand it. Embrace it. Then you can heal it and let it go. Holding on to pain is not noble, it is in direct conflict of being in service to the Light within you. It is the darkness. It is the dis-ease. It is the addiction.

I promise there is no greater high than being of service to the Light within you. It cannot be duplicated by any synthetic means and if you are being courted by addictive behaviors then it is a clear sign your Soul is longing to share its Light.

I love you.

~Jade

Suicide Scapegoating

So many messages these days telling people who are struggling to reach out. Fair enough, but part of what depression does is it mutes your ability to reach. If you are NOT depressed and you see someone struggling, YOU reach out. If you don’t see someone who used to be around, YOU reach out. ~Caissie St. Onge

Sometimes synchronicity still amazes me.


I saw this in a word porn meme today on Facebook. For a few days now I’ve been thinking about how to put into words my thoughts around all those copy and paste posts about ‘put this on your status for 1 hour. If you feel like you might hurt yourself please call me. My phone is always on. My door is always open….” and the suicide prevention hotline.


I myself have made posts after reading yet another notice of someone dying by suicide, stating that I would be available in any capacity to help.


Here’s the problem.


No one wants to announce they are feeling suicidal. The very conditions that exist to create suicidal ideation are rooted in the foundation of isolation, shame and secrecy. It is truly the darkest time of an individual’s life and that does not make for the opportunity of change to suddenly ‘do something different’ and reach out.


YOU are going to have to be a better friend/relative than that. YOU are going to have to hear, “I need help” in other phrases like, “I feel overwhelmed”, “I’m at my wit’s end”, “I’m at the end of my rope”, “I don’t know what else to do”, “I can’t do this anymore”, “I feel hopeless”, “I feel helpless”, “I’m tired” and “I just can’t anymore.” And so so so many more.


YOU have to do your due diligence. Not saying you are responsible for the outcomes, but we can’t put MORE pressure on those who are already overwhelmed. Most of us can identify with the phrase “it is so hard for me to ask for help”, so we must understand that it would be 1000% more difficult to ask for help regarding suicidal feelings than say to borrow $1,000 or any other favor for that matter.


Sad to say, but I really just think all these ‘you can call me’ messages are attempts to make ourselves feel better about suicide and in some ways scapegoat the suicidal person by taking ourselves off the hook. “I did my part, I’m available.’


But are you? How do you respond when someone shares they are going through a hard time? Do you allow them space to share their deepest emotions and experiences? Or do you take the opportunity then to share your own current struggles and take the focus off them to yourself?
Do you offer support and empathy? Or do you tell them not to feel bad, because you have it worse?


Do you offer real help, like taking something off their to do list? Paying a bill for them? Watching their kids? Offering to accompany them to an appointment? Offering to take them to lunch? Offering any part of yourself that is not adding to their burdens????


While we each are ultimately responsible for our own actions, we cannot sit idly by as spectators with our eyes closed and hands over our ears posting “if you need me, I’m here.” Cuz you’re not.

We need to be better at being good human BEINGS.

I love you.

~Jade


Dark Night Of The Soul

A dark night of the soul is not just melancholy or sadness or even depression. It isn’t a bad day or week or rough time. It is a spiritual transformation. A rebirth. A destruction for creation purposes. It is to be revered and honored and not something to be snapped out of.

That said the phrase has been overused and misunderstood in the spiritual awareness world. I’ve seen it attributed to those struggling with not finding their twin flame, as well as those who suffer with depression. Neither of which is accurate.

If depression is darkness. A dark night of the soul is the darkness within the darkness. Depression lifts but leaves you the same as before. A dark night of the soul transforms you at your core.

depression | dəˈpreSH(ə)n |

noun
1 feelings of severe despondency and dejection: self-doubt creeps in and that swiftly turns to depression.

dark night of the soul

noun

  1. a period of spiritual desolation suffered by a mystic in which all sense of consolation is removed.

I’ve been in dark places before. I’ve been self-sabotaging, self-defeating, self-doubting, self-destructive and suicidal. My dark night of the soul was darker than any of those – even if I put them together. Whole other level darker. It is a complete erasure of the fabric of faith.

Faith is the infrastructure of our beliefs. The framework or the skeleton upon which the flesh of beliefs cling. They are our laws. When our bones disintegrate there is no form for the flesh to cling to and no leg to stand upon. It is as if free falling, without gravity, without a shred of light, without anything to touch for reference or grounding.

And it is silent.

The comforting voices of spirit no longer available.

For a Mystic this is unbelievably unsettling to say the least. Our faith is the ground we stand on. The floor that catches us when we fall. The clothes we wear and the air we breathe. The idea of it vanishing is incomprehensible and yet that is exactly what happens.

It is spiritual blindness, tantamount to coming in out of the bright beautiful sun, into a dark room. Our eyes open wide searching for any glimmer of light, arms outstretched to gain bearings by finding the edge of a familiar wall, but there is nothing. No-thing-ness is far scarier than any-thing that lay in the darkness.

When you’ve relied upon faith to get you out of prior darkness, then how do you get out of the darkness within the darkness without faith?

I believe it is the ultimate lesson in acceptance. As mystics, faith healers, spiritual advisors etc…we make it a habit to keep our thoughts on point. “High vibrations” that’s what they tell us. Raise your vibrations and you will attract high vibration things. It’s that simple.

Except it isn’t.

What I learned through my dark night of the soul, is that this way of thinking is still ‘thinking’ and we need to move past thinking into feeling. Believing that we can control our lives by raising our vibrations, is still focusing on outcomes as measurement. It is still looking at the present situation as validation of who we are, when in fact we are what we are, regardless of our circumstances.

Attachment to outcome is the enemy. Raising your vibration, holding positive thoughts, doing this, that or the other to manifest things you want in your life, is STILL about attachment to outcome. It is still based in a place of belief that things should be different than they currently are. It is still a shadow of the age old ‘if this happens then I’ll be happy’. If there is no attachment to outcome why does every ‘spiritual life coach’ promote themselves by advertising what they’ve manifested?

What if the lesson of the dark night of the soul is that we are in charge of our experience regardless of what circumstance is showing up? That our beliefs are as fluid as our thoughts and thereby affecting them we effect our situation. Not to change the situation, but change our experience of it.

What if the dark night of the soul is the step necessary to finally understand unconditional acceptance? And what if the dark night of the soul is the moment we graduate to understanding that none of this matters? None of it. It isn’t real. It isn’t a game to be won or lost. It isn’t even ‘something’ to master.

It just is.

It is a blank canvas we can choose to paint on, or not. We can choose bright bold colors, or soft muted ones. We can choose dark brooding colors with broad strokes, or light rainbow colors with feathery brush strokes. Or any combination of the above.

We choose. And we choose not in hopes of soliciting a desired outcome, (though that is what everyone teaches), but in hopes of soliciting a desired experience.

The lesson is that we choose what makes us feel better authentically (not artificially through addiction) in any given circumstance. Does the thought ‘what did I do wrong for this to happen?’ make us feel better or worse than ‘ok, this is here, now what?’

It’s a significant though subtle shift. Neutrality vs apathy. “Ok, this is here. Now what?” (neutrality). “Nothing I do matters.” (apathy).

If we remove our expectation that our vibration will bring about desired results then we are truly at a place of unconditional acceptance. We neither seek to blame ourselves nor congratulate ourselves.

Generalized truth. That is what I call something that remains true on both ends of the spectrum. Most people subscribe to the belief that bad vibes bring about bad experiences and good vibes bring about good experiences.

So, when we talk about like-vibes attracting like vibes, then what do we do when we’ve ‘done everything right’, but everything still goes wrong?

We either a) go back to blaming ourselves and examine what we didn’t do right enough, or we b) realize there is something wrong with our interpretation of the formula.

Going back to generalized truth, it stands to reason then that if the idea that emitting continued low vibrations is not the answer to achieving desired results, then neither would be continuously emitting high vibrations. Right?

If I believe that my vibration brings about like-vibed things (and I do believe that still), and I diligently focus on raising my vibration, then any resulting suffering must be caused by an assumption that I immediately recognize all the different forms ‘high vibrations’ can take. AKA attachment to desired outcome.

If I am certain that I have been embracing nothing but high vibrational thoughts/beliefs, but ‘bad’ things still happen, then it cannot be a generalized truth that my high vibrations bring only desired outcomes. There cannot be a direct line between my vibrations and desired outcomes…but there can be a direct line between my vibrations and my experience of those outcomes. This then would explain why some of the wealthiest people in the world engage in low vibrational activity and thought. And why some of the poorest individuals engage in the highest vibrational activity.

Outcomes are not indicators of vibration.

Indeed. You never see a spiritual life coach speak about manifesting bankruptcy while they are in the midst of it, do you? Yet later, when they are safely ‘past’ it, they will share it as evidence of their struggle and the lessons they have learned to avoid it again. But what if that experience of bankruptcy brought opportunities that were required for the soul’s development? What if having a zero balance in your checking account was exactly what you needed to consider an alternative that never crossed your mind before? What if this particular situation (whatever that situation) is the environment in which to have the experience that busts through any shame you have? Or empowers you with the first hand knowledge that you are in charge of your experience?

Consider that high vibration sound shatters glass.

Just because the result is shattered glass, we do not call it ‘low vibration’.

The dire circumstances that were present at the start of my dark night of the soul remained unchanged on the other side of my dark night of the soul.

The only thing that changed was my attachment to it and my desire for it to be different. “Thinking things should be different than they are is resistance.” My own words coming back to haunt me.

I finally understand the Dali Llama’s words regarding suffering is the result of attachment. When I first heard those words I instantly thought that this practice would remove us from human experience. It does not. Though it does keep us from falling into the emotional tar pits of human experience. If the idea that emitting continued low vibrations is not optimal for a good experience of life, then neither would be continuously emitting high vibrations. Right?


According to Buddhist practice there are three stages or steps. The first is to reduce attachment towards life. The second stage is the elimination of desire and attachment to this samsara. Then in the third stage, self-self-cherishing is eliminated. -Dali Lama XIV

I believe that a dark night of the soul is the tunnel through which you travel from one stage to the next. This would be the easiest way to discern the difference between a state of depression and a dark night.

Reduce attachment towards life

Attachment to life is the attachment to things, people, events etc.. We believe that this life is all there is, we only ‘go round once’, kind of thinking. We believe that what happens to us matters and we have the idea of being a victim of life. When we release our attachment to life, we often land at the place where ‘everything happens for a Reason’.

We come out of that dark night of the soul with renewed faith in something greater than ourselves. We realize that life is an illusion. We are high on our revelation and dive into this new experience with the expectation of wonderful experiences. Even when things do not go according to our plan we understand that there is a Reason behind it. We may even understand that we might never know that Reason, but we have faith that the Reason exists.

We learn that staying high vibe is the best way to manifest positive results. We change our vibration and indeed our experience of life changes for the better. Low vibes bring low vibe experiences. High vibrations bring high vibrations. And we work hard on our deeply rooted issues to obtain the most out of life. We unearth the issues of shame and unworthiness. We believe in our potential and life is good.

The elimination of desire and attachment to this samsara

In Buddhism, samsara is often defined as the endless cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. The elimination of desire is just that. The realization that doing anything, including raising your vibration, in order to bring about a designated outcome is attachment. The idea that anything need be different than it shows up is attachment. The idea that your job is to figure out how to change your situation in life, by changing yourself – in any way – is attachment.

Understanding the samsara and not getting attached to any one phase of it over another is key. It is as if everything before had us believing that if we ‘did it right’ we could sustain a perpetual phase of birth and avoid death altogether. That is no more accurate or wise than to get locked into thinking that once death has occurred (any kind of death), that there is no occasion of rebirth.

It is a cycle, a circle – or better yet an outward never-ending spiral – not a progressive line graph, with small ‘ups and downs’ that overall lead upward.

Each revolution of the sun and the moon, tell us this, yet we have been blind to its lesson at the deepest level when we believe that by simply raising our vibrations we can stop that cycle phase known as death.

The lesson is that we can weather the cycle of death with no more effort than we do birth. And perhaps it would serve us better to think of it as a cycle of Creation, Destruction and Re-Creation. Our faith, or lack thereof, has no actual bearing on our survival of the cycle.

Self-cherishing is eliminated

It helps me to understand this concept better when I think of ‘self-cherishing’ as ‘self-preservation’.

It is the element of ego-centricity vs soul-centricity that is key here. The ego, the human conscious container and filter built into one for the express purpose to have an experience on Earth.

Ego’s soul purpose is to continue to live. Thus any message it gives us has that as its default position. The fears we have all have that same base…’death to those that do not believe’. It is the not so covert message of all organized religion. It is also the not so covert message of the traditional medical community.

When self-cherishing is eliminated we reveal a state of graceful detachment and unconditional acceptance to all things that show up. It does not mean we cease to experience the emotions of the human vessel. It means that we are not deterred by them. We explore them and notice them and move through them.

Life is seen not as a cycle of highs and lows, like a boat upon the surface of the water subject to the rise and fall of waves, but instead as the water in the tide itself.

It is not our preservation (aka desired outcomes) we strive for, but in compassion we strive for the benefit of all.

In this phase we achieve bodhicitta – the heart of the enlightened mind. We experience this in pain and in joy. It is seen by some as a state of mind, but to others it is the true mind – the essence of consciousness. Compassion for all is the primary motivating factor.

In bodhicitta there is no comparing. There is no judgement. There are no desired outcomes. There are no attachments. There is no disillusionment. There is no jealousy or disappointment. There is no excitement, even. There is just compassion.

The question remains if this is something that a human being can experience on Earth or if it is the state of the after life. Or something else entirely.

Each of these phases will have their own particular kind of dark night marking the transition. Each person will have their own particular experience of that transition. Some, I imagine, can even choose not to transform, but instead loop back and repeat the phase, believing they have transitioned, unaware of the illusion altogether.

I leave this here now, because the dark night of the soul, is an experience that cannot be conveyed in words if you have not been through it. However, words can validate the experience once you’ve had it. So to that end my purpose is complete.

I love you.

~Jade

Holiday Grief

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year! With marshmallows roasting and…”

Except when it isn’t.

Grief at the holidays is 1) normal, 2) inevitable the older you get and 3) more intense than any other time of the year. It is an unexpected, yet regular, extra guest at every dinner table.

From the time we are young, regardless of our socioeconomic status we are conditioned that the holidays are made for family. That there is ‘specialness’ in the air. That there is magic in the air. The expectation is that we gather from far and near to join family in a heartfelt exchange of gifts and celebration.

In reality, that may not be our story. It may be that our parents had to choose between the food on the table and buying presents. That our family was fragmented by conflict. Or that some tragedy befell the family.

Thanksgiving morning, 1971, my mother and my aunt went off to visit my grandmother in the hospital. On their way there, a drunk driver crossed the meridian and hit them head on. My beloved aunt was thrown threw the windshield, never regained consciousness and died three days later. My mother was held in the car by the steering wheel but hit her head on the windshield. She suffered a closed head injury and had permanent personality changes as a result.

For years and years Thanksgiving carried that shadow. My mother had survivor’s guilt on top of the brain injury. While we missed Aunt Agnes very much the whole year, that day was different each year.

A few years later their brother, a missionary Redemptorist priest, home from the Amazon, died in his sleep on New Year’s in our home.

My mother died 13 years ago this December 13.

My mother was Christmas for our family. She was that mom that shopped all year to find the perfect gifts, put the Christmas tree up the day after Thanksgiving and had decorations in every single room of the house – including the bathrooms.

That first Christmas without her we were still in shock because she died just 11 days before. No one felt like doing anything, much less celebrating. A year, later we all felt like it was the first Christmas without her because the actual first one seemed non-existent.

But it doesn’t matter when in the year someone dies, the holidays always bring your attention to their missing presence. The hole in your life where they used to be is highlighted at the holidays, because we are so focused on being together for the holidays that their absence is magnified. It doesn’t matter how long they’ve been gone either; that grief will find you.

It might be while shopping and you come across that perfect gift they would’ve loved. Or a reminder of a special tradition the two of you shared. Or their place at the dinner table.

With each holiday that passes, their absence in your life seems more, not less. It seems to serve as a place card – before they died and after they died. While we may have new and wonderful people in our lives since our loved one transitioned, there is still that empty space where they used to sit.

The holidays highlight our losses because they highlight love – both the presence of it and the absence of it. If your family is not picture perfect, then you experience the grief over the loss of illusion every year. And after a death you have the grief over the loss of the possibilities of reconciliation. If your family is picture perfect (or as close to it as you can get) then you have the loss of the special energy that loved one brought with them.

Yes, we believe that love lives on. That our loved ones are around us everyday. That they never really leave us. But that doesn’t soothe the ache to feel their physical arms holding us once again. It doesn’t satisfy the need to hear their voice one more time. It does not stop us from missing their physical presence.

Be kind to yourself in your holiday grief. Do not put on bold false faces. Allow yourself time to mourn. Don’t judge yourself thinking you should be over it – no matter how many years have passed. Our lives are a collage of memories that do not die when a loved one does.

It is ok to remember and be sad. It is not ok to deny those feelings or hide them away. It is not ok to pretend to be happy when you are grieving. Find a way to tap into their energy, because it is all around you. They have never left, but their form has indeed changed.

  • Create a remembrance tradition to replace some of the traditions you once shared.
  • Light a special candle each year to symbolize the light they brought to this life on Earth.
  • Take a walk under the stars to symbolize your journey with them in life.

Find a way to channel your grief into honoring their memory. It is a gift you will give to both of you.

I love you. And they continue to love you. Blessed holidays to you all.

~Jade

What Is A Strong Person?

cropped-healing-from-the-insight-out-graphic.png
On my Facebook page I asked “When you think of a strong person, what comes to mind?” Inquiring into behaviors, actions, thoughts and philosophies. The answers were many an varied. Some I resonated with, some I did not. What I loved was the conversation we were having.
When I think of strong individuals I look to those who have experienced challenges and grown from them by becoming ‘better not bitter’. That’s the bottom line.
 
It is not someone who hides their truth and puts on a false smile. It is someone who feels the feels, cries the tears, then dries them and finds the takeaway.
 
It is someone who goes out of their way to do no harm, including doing no harm to his own self. Thus, it is NOT someone who cares more about others, than they do themselves, but instead, one who cares about others AS MUCH as they care about themselves.
 
It is someone who speaks truth, but in a kind way when it is most likely to be heard with an open heart.
 
It is someone who has suffered pain but keeps her heart open to those who show up and do the work.
 
It is also the someone who shows up and does the work.
 
It is someone who pushes through and assists others on the path, not run them over.
 
It is someone who has every reason and opportunity to be angry but chooses to love. It is someone who loves himself first and lets that love flow unto others.
 
It is someone who does not see things in ‘right or wrong’ or ‘fair’. It is someone who realizes everyone’s journey is different and has value.
 
It is someone who is not in competition to be better or worse than her sister/brother, but interested in being better than her self, yesterday.
 
I know a lot of strong women. I know a lot of strong men. I know a lot of individuals who think they are strong and are not (not for the reasons they think that is). I know a lot of individuals who think they are not strong but really are.
 
Your default setting is set on strong. You are strength incarnated because you are unconditional love and what could be stronger than that??!! There is nothing stronger than that!!! We can be convinced by societal conditioning that we are not strong because of thus and so. Its a lie. A misnomer. Misinformation. Hogwash.
 
Find your strength and choose better not bitter.
I love you!
~Jade

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.

Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 

Join us for more conversation in our Facebook group Willow Song Firekeepers

As of now Jade is limiting the one on one work she does. For availability please email an inquiry.

To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

Anxiety Or Excitement????

Did you know the brain does not distinguish the difference between feelings of anxiety and excitement?

That feeling in the ‘pit of your stomach’ is a nondescript happening, that your brain interprets and labels. If you are prone to worry then you will label that ‘anxiety’, if you are prone to positive thinking then you will interpret that feeling as excitement! Or put another way if you are projecting negative outcomes you will, of course, be feeling anxiety, but if you are projecting positive outcomes you will be feeling excitement!

Watch this video for more!

Exploring the difference between anxiety and excitement video

Regret Is A Gift

I aim to live my life with no regrets.

Regrets indicate that the past is taking up space in the present. It is far better to live a life fully present to your highest best, thus avoiding future regret. However, when they present themselves – if we are paying attention – regrets can be gifts.

We all do the best we know how and when we know better we do better. Regret is the understanding that we could’ve done better, but we didn’t believe it enough to stand in it. We knew the ‘better’ choice, but we didn’t believe in our ability to carry it out. We didn’t have the confidence to fully commit to that better version of ourselves and in hindsight we know we were so close.

Regret is the measurement between who we were and who we’ve become.

The beauty though, is that we can understand it in that context and give ourselves some slack. Regrets affirm our growth. We see a moment of our lives in a new perspective and hold ourselves to a higher standard.

The problem, of course, comes in when we allow ourselves to get landlocked in regret, aka: stuck in the past. Holding onto regret as if it were a record of faults keeps the pathological cycle going. Seeing regret as a growth tool stops the cycle and accelerates development.

In my own journey, regret has been an on again/off again relationship. In my thirties, I spent a lot of time looking back on my twenties (and then subsequently my thirties) with regret. In my forties, I completely let go of regret. I understood that I regularly do the best I know how to do at the time  – so I broke up with regret.

But after a recent expansion in my own development (spoiler alert: we are never done expanding) I began to find regrets popping up. No lie, at first it was a little unsettling. I mean I’ve lived at least 10 years without regrets, but I caught myself and stopped judging it. I just allowed them to be what they needed to be and listened for the messages. When I did this I heard – clearly –

‘this wouldn’t even be on your radar, if you hadn’t grown beyond it’.

I also noticed this was a different type of regret. It wasn’t the negative self-talk type, it had a ‘if I knew then, what I know now’ type of energy. More of a fantasizing of how things would have played out if I’d had the where-with-all to do what my Soul was ready to do, but my ego wasn’t. The energy of it felt loving not judging.

And it felt so amazing as I realized who I’ve become.

A Master

A Master of my own life. Not a slave to programs of old. Not a slave to the judgements of others. Not a slave to impossible expectations and crippling self-recrimination. Not a slave to anything, anymore.

Our lives are exactly what we perceive them to be. They are not what shows up as ‘evidence’, but instead how we interpret that ‘evidence’ and how we allow it to affect us. It is all about interpretation and perception. If we look at it as proof that we are victims then we are victims. But if we look at it as proof of our heroism then we are heroes!

Its about casting off the shackles of blame, shame, judgment and limitation and embracing how absolutely magical and all powerful we are!

Be a Master.

I love you.

~Jade

Check out our services page for more information on working with Jade personally to become your own Master. Or just check her out on youtube.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Bit About Trauma…

Everything we are, do, think and believe is connected to our Qi.

Therefore everything we are, do, think and believe affects said Qi. Trauma is a significant disturbance in our Qi. Often it is actually a predetermined event…one we ‘planned’ long before our incarnation. We choreographed it to be a significant factor in our development.

Our mental, emotional, physical and energetic bodies process everything that happens to us. Sometimes we ‘hold onto’ events and they are stored. Other times we simply allow them to pass through our awareness, we glean wisdom from it and release it. This wisdom then plays a part in our development/expansion.

Trauma, due to its very nature is something most people store if they are not aware. Even if they don’t intentionally ‘ignore’ the pain, they may not know how to truly release it from all bodies.

I do a pretty awesome healing session that would assist you in this manner from the energetic standpoint. It facilitates the release from all bodies and provides a clean slate going forward.

I love working with people who are ready to be free of their past experiences and glean only the wisdom after releasing the burden!!

Short and sweet today…

I love you.

~Jade

I Love You

My understanding of these three little words have transformed proportionately to my own evolution.

As a child I had the most open concept of love. I loved everything around me. Every person. Every animal. Every tree. Every plant. Every space. Every rock. Every stuffed animal. Every fairy.

I even loved myself…until my mother told me ‘vanity was a sin.’

My mother, with good intentions, taught me fear. She taught me that to love so openly would only bring heartbreak when those I loved, loved me not. Or that those I loved would use that love to manipulate and diminish me (I’m sure she didn’t realize that is exactly what she was doing).

She learned this fear from my Grandmother, who taught it to me too, when she taught me about ‘rape’ after I shared with her that I’d had my first kiss. And my mother reinforced that when she cautioned me on ‘all things male’ well into my twenties.

In my youth and young adulthood I sought love everywhere, in search of that childhood feeling of freedom, not realizing I had cut myself off from it. I believed love was selective. That in order to be loved you needed to be perfect and that in order to love you needed to find perfection.

I remember the first time I heard someone say “I love you” in a non-intimate circumstance. I don’t remember what it was exactly, some motivational/inspirational setting, and all I could think was “What a crock. You can’t love me, you don’t know me – you don’t know all the unlovable things I’ve done, been and said”.

I distrusted “I love you”.

In many ways I felt I needed to prove my love to others and thus needed others to prove their love to me. I started every relationship from a point of ‘no love’ with the understanding that if one did enough, well enough, then it would move to ‘love’.

This is not how we are meant to live. What this did was make me vulnerable (correct use of the word) to all the horrible things my mother and grandmother cautioned me about. In fact, it served to make me vulnerable to date rape, molestation, sexual harassment, bullying, intimidation, self-sabotage, poverty and prime to suffer at the hands of multiple narcissists.

I was searching for something I didn’t even believe could be mine. This became the foundation for self-sabotage in my life.

Then along came Emma. Giving birth to my daughter opened my heart and gave me a glimpse of the unconditional love I had in my childhood. It felt familiar, heavenly and ‘right’. There was no struggle. There was no “let me get to know you before I decide if I love you.”

I began to realize that we are meant to come from a place to love, right off the bat. 

The healing started with the love for my child, but it was my love for myself that was needed. I had to get back to that place and overcome the counterproductive programming that had me believe that we needed to earn love and that loving oneself was vanity.

As I began to accept myself for every imagined flaw, I began to see beauty in them. Just like the crystals I collected, with their inclusions – each ‘flaw’ a beauty mark. What made me different did not make me weird, ‘less than’ or a disgrace, it made me amazing, unique and priceless. It made me stand out as I was meant to, rather than blend in which is what I had tried to do – and failed miserably.

I ‘failed’ because I wasn’t being authentic. I was always using my energy to be something I wasn’t, in order to gain love and acceptance. There was so much incongruence between who I was being vs who I was born to be that it created a breeding ground for illness (recurring acute illnesses) and disease/disorder (cancer) to set in.

As I loved myself more, I awakened to all the people I loved that I hadn’t credited. Specifically my friends, and I started telling them “I love you”. At first it was uncomfortable – not for me, but for them. I scared a few people away with it, because they were operating with the same limited definitions I had been. Explaining what you mean to people isn’t easy, either. Especially when they are of the opposite sex. A woman only tells a man she loves him if she wants to marry him. NOT! Thus I was labeled ‘clingy’ by a few.

So, here I was telling these people I loved, that I loved them and stirring up all sorts of stuff for them, all the while experiencing more and more love! It was wonderful! The more I loved others, the more love I found for myself as well.

The truth is until and unless we accept and love ourselves, we will always find the love and acceptance of others suspect.

Meaning we will discount it as often as we can. As well, we will always give out our own love and acceptance sparingly, even when we think we are being nonjudgemental and unconditional.

Not so long ago I became overwhelmed with the realization of the love I have for my fellow humankind: people over the internet, people I witness briefly in passing and even people whose struggles have merely been relayed to me.

Spontaneously, my posts began to end themselves with “I love you”. I never even questioned it.

*in a whisper* Ok, that’s a lie. My lower self totally questioned if others would think it disingenuous – only for like a second, though.

I never thought to change it. And then the next one ended that same way. Then it became clear that I’d reached a new relationship with ‘I love you’. The one I’d had all those many years ago as a child.

Whether this is the highest evolution of “I love you” or not, it is my highest evolution to date and it boils down to this…

I love you because I love me and I see me, in you.

 

I love you, truly.

~Jade

 

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.

Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 

As of now Jade is limiting the one on one work she does. For availability please email an inquiry.

To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

 

 

 

 

Progress Is Not Linear

Bear with me now because the thoughts are running faster than my hands can type.

Progress isn’t linear.

I first understood this last year as we were recovering from Chris’s stroke. One day he could do something better than the previous day, but the next day he was worse than the first day. It was so frustrating! That’s when I heard Spirit say, ‘Progress is not linear.’

It is not linear in the Body as evidenced by his stroke recovery and also by my Whole30 process, as well. One day I feel no cravings and the next that sneaky feeling of needing ice cream slips in while I’m napping.

Some days are easier than others. Some days are more than others. Some days are less than others. Some days its all too much and other days you can’t get your fill.

Progress isn’t linear.

Its not linear in the Mind either. I have seen it for years with my clients. So often they want to give up because it isn’t easy or because it isn’t going as fast as they’d like. I see this in my fellow W30 peeps too! Sometimes because its hard right from the start. Other times because it was easier the first few days, but let some time pass and the really deep work begin and not so much.

Progress isn’t linear.

Its not linear in the Spirit either. There is no one and done victory. It takes a lot of fortitude to accept new belief constructs and hold to them in stressful situations when it would be easier to go back to believing old tenets that no longer serve you. In fact, I’d say more often than not, in the beginning, you have to catch yourself automatically going to those old tenets and remind yourself of your new choices. But it takes time and patience and attention.

Progress isn’t linear.

When you expect things to improve by a nebulous “better” each day you will inevitably feel a failure because you are not progressing linearly. But it is actually your expectations that are failing!

You can’t expect progress to start in one place and go up and up and up. That is not how our bodies or anything in life works. Life ebbs and flows and spirals. It also has layers like an onion. When we are purging things whether physically or emotionally, we often see a ‘breakthrough’ looking like a ‘breakdown’.

 

Don’t be your own worst enemy, no matter what area you are challenging growth in, use the ‘quitting is no option‘ motto to get you through and remember that progress is not linear, so you are right on track!

I love you.

~Jade

 

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.
Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 
To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.