The ACTS Of Empowerment

ACTS of Empowerment

One of the scariest situations we can be in, is the one where we are not in control. This time in our country’s timeline will go down as one of the scariest of all; A time when we had to physically separate from loved ones for fear of a life threatening invader.

In truth though, death is always in our cards, we simply have chosen to exist in denial about it. COVID-19 is forcing us to consider our mortality and that of our loved ones. Everything about COVID has taught us we are not in control of anything outside ourselves. We are not in control of what our government, our neighbors, our employers, the healthcare system or the virus does. We can only control our own thoughts, actions and beliefs in any given situation.

When we don’t feel in control, we don’t feel empowered. The problem is not the lack of control. The problem is 1) thinking we were in control of things we weren’t and 2) not exerting control over the things we were.

These four acts of empowerment are useful across the board of our lives. It is important to look at this because fear is a very dangerous symptom of any crisis. And if you take the time now to come to some sort of terms with your own mortality, I promise you, it will change the way you live your life after this crisis is over.

Empowerment is the anti-dote for fear.

Empowerment is an inside job. I don’t believe in beings empowering other beings. We are empowered from the second Life is Breathed into us. Throughout our lives we discover more and better ways of accessing and demonstrating our power, and THAT is something that others can support us in…but no one else actually empowers us.

Acceptance

The first act of empowerment is Acceptance. To accept what is, as is. Dissonance happens when we are in resistance to what is, by looking back to what was. In today’s happenings we ask ‘when will things return to normal?” But normal is gone. Normal is attachment to yesterday. Yesterday we had a plan and today that plan is no longer viable.

We need to embrace today there is something new at work and we haven’t yet figured out what it is. That’s ok. It’s ok to stand in the not knowing. In fact, that is what we must do to get into acceptance. We have to also acknowledge that we have grief over the loss of yesterday’s plan. Not having a ‘normal’ is a loss and grief is the emotional reaction to that loss.
To get to acceptance we must embrace what is, even if what is feels like being ‘stuck in the mud’. It’s ok to sit still in the mud for a minute. Embrace that. Accept that. Attachment to how things used to be keeps us in dissonance. Dissonance and acceptance are mutually exclusive. Resonance breeds acceptance. So, pay attention to what resonates with you at your highest level.

You don’t have to like something to accept it.

That’s key. Just like forgiveness doesn’t mean you condone someone’s behavior, so too, just because you accept something doesn’t mean you like it. Acceptance just means you are in the present moment, understanding it as reality. You are no longer trying to change the moment back to what was yesterday. You are also not looking to tomorrow hoping to recreate yesterday. That’s another key. You take what is today and see what you can do with it even if you are not its biggest fan.

The place of acceptance is resonance while the place of resistance is dissonance. The more you follow resonance the more empowered you will feel. Acceptance resonates at a high level. Even if you don’t like what you have to accept, accepting it will be more resonant than remaining in a state of resistance. Acceptance does not mean you don’t want to effect change upon the circumstance. Acceptance of the situation in its entirety enables you to make necessary and valuable changes.

You will know you’ve entered a state acceptance when you can at least say ‘Ok FINE! Now what?’ Resignation is a form of acceptance.

Connection

The second act of empowerment is connection. When we feel disempowered we feel isolated and vice verse, so it stands to reason that the anti-dote to that would be connection.

You might be thinking this is quite the challenge during this quarantine lockdown we are in, but you would be wrong. The kind of connection we are seeking here is actually something that has been missing for a long time, yet within everyone’s grasp.

Many are talking about ‘when this is over we will return to normal’. Others are saying that the normal that once was will never be again. And I hope that is true. Our normal was seeing a gathering of individuals, most of which were on their phones or other devices. Now, when connecting via devices is the only life line, we are beginning to understand how much we took face to face for granted.

The connectedness we are talking about though in regards to empowerment is the connection to something bigger than ourselves. This does include connecting to the love that we have for family and friends, however it has to also include something bigger than that. Whatever your Source is for Love and Light. The All. Whatever name All goes by for you: Allah, Jesus, God, Mother Earth, Goddess it doesn’t matter. Whatever you feel is a higher consciousness or a bigger energetic body than you.

Where do you connect to that Source? Church? Well, where else can be your church now? A backyard meditation garden is a wonderful start! Out in nature is an easy one, because everyone ‘believes’ in nature! Nature works its magical wonders of connection on you whether you realize it or not. If you don’t have a backyard then find a county or city park that offers you some natural habitat. If you can find a body of water, even better.

Other ways to connect to Source is to create a small altar in your home and sit with it for awhile. You can meditate, or pray, or do rituals, or say spells…they are all basically the same thing. You might have been conditioned to be afraid of one or more of those words but honestly they are all containers for the same energy.

How do you make an altar? Simple version: cover a small table with the scarf or hanky of a loved one and place a candle on top. You can get as elaborate as you want from there by adding fresh flowers, dried herbs, crystals, family pictures, sage, incense, bowl of water, images, icons, rosaries, prayer beads, malas, statues etc…

Whatever makes you happy and adds to your connection to Source.

Spending just 15 mins a day in quiet solitude in front of your altar will offer you a wonderful connection.

Connection to something bigger than you gives you power to handle the situation you are in. It isn’t really a belief system thing. It is an energetic feeling. You can’t believe it into being. You can’t speak it into being. You have to practice it into being.

Transmutation

The third act of empowerment is transmutation. The transmutation process changes something from one form into another form. In this case, transmutation is the act of changing negative into positive, and changing negative to positive is the basic premise of empowerment.

Beginner empaths are often taught to ‘block’ or ‘guard’ their energetic fields in order to protect them. This is a necessary step in learning how to manage energy, however it is not a landing place.

When we block and guard we do nothing to improve the situation. We simply allow the less than desirable energy to remain in the environment and affect the next person who comes along. Don’t believe me? How often have you walked into a room where an argument had ensued and ‘the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife’? Now, if someone had transmuted that energy then no one else would walk in and feel that.

Developing the skill to transmute negative heavy energy into positive light energy is an important evolution in any energy healer or empath. However, even non-empaths and those without an interest in energy healing need to engage in transmutation. It is simply a matter of not adding fuel to a fire.

When someone comes at you with negativity or aggression, you respond in neutralizing opposition. Which means, you don’t respond with negativity or aggression, but with compassion and assertiveness.

It means not perpetuating the situation, as well as not escalating it. Phrases like “I understand what you are saying.” “I hear you.” “Maybe we can talk later.” “That sounds really painful.” “I can see you are really hurting.”

This doesn’t imply one allows bad behavior to continue. It dictates use of compassion to help the other feel supported so that they can change their own behavior. When efforts to do this fail, it is advisable to extricate oneself from the situation and circle back to the person at another time if desired.

If you can’t practice transmutation then you must at least refrain from contributing to the heavy energy.

A wonderful side effect of this practice happens automatically. You will find yourself lighter, with less stress and feeling more emotionally stable. Indeed, you will find yourself empowered.

Becoming skilled in transmutation you ultimately leave the world in a better state than you found it.

Surrender

Surrender is often defined as giving up, but that is not the spirit of Surrender. The spirit of surrender is to cease resistance. The essential art of going with the flow, instead of swimming against the tide.

Surrender realizes that forcing something is a sign that whatever ‘it’ is, is not for you at this time. Releasing the need to control outcomes, is the swiftest way to surrender. It isn’t that you give up on your goal, it is that you realize you might have mixed up your goal with one possible outcome, which is in fact, not a goal but merely one possibility. In other words, your goal might be making THIS relationship the one to end all relationships, when in fact that is one possibility for the actual goal, which is to be in a relationship that serves you.

Surrendering will be understanding that the best way to meet your goal would be to let go of the relationship that seems to want to end rather than pulling out all the stops to keep it in play.

Surrendering requires us to evaluate obstacles when they show up. Obstacles on our path serve two purposes: cause to pause and redirection. Cause to pause, is an opportunity to really take stock of what is happening. Is it for our highest good? Is this what I want? Usually this obstacle simply gives us the opportunity to ask ourselves ‘why?’ Why do I want this? Why do I feel this is in my highest good? And to ask ‘is this worth it?’ then really listen for the answer. If it isn’t making you feel better OR making you a better human being (cause sometimes that process doesn’t feel so great initially), it isn’t worth it.

After such pondering it is easy to see that sometimes a change of direction is warranted. When you ask ‘is this worth it’? And answer ‘no’, then you must switch directions. Take the opportunity to redefine your goal to make sure it is a goal and not just one possible outcome. Restate your goal. Envision it. Then choose the new path to get there.

Surrender is not about giving up, it is about leveling up. It’s about Trusting your Higher Self and Divine Grace to get you where you want to go. In surrendering we feel more empowerment because we understand that the Universe is conspiring on our behalf, rather than believing we are all alone against the world. We no longer believe that we have to be in control of everything, because in fact, we cannot.

The ACTS (Acceptance, Connection, Transmutation, Surrender) can be used in any situation to develop your Empowerment. Apply it to work, life, problem, challenge, parenting, encounters with bullies and other crabby people as necessary.

If nothing else remember that empowerment is an inside job.

Peace Be With You,

Jade

Why I Don't Help, Empower or Hustle


In my work I don’t help people. 

I don’t empower women. 

And I don’t hustle. 

Hustle: 

Here’s the thing, the word ‘hustle’ for me is a marketing buzz word intended to get you to DO MORE. I am about BEING MORE.

“You need to always be busy doing something to bring about your goals. If you are not hustling you are slacking.” 

In addition, don’t forget about the connotations of ‘hustle’ being shady, slick and underhanded. “I got hustled.” “He’s a hustler.” “The hustle and bustle.” 

Frenzied energy that does not lend to my MO. 

If you are hustling you are not allowing the flow and you know I am all about allowing the flow. If you are in alignment you are in the flow. There is no hustle to make things happen, there is just keeping up with the flow!!! You don’t make things happen you allow them to happen and dare to keep up! Some days it is all I can do to keep track of the increase in flow because SO much changes day to day that a week feels like it had to have been a month! How else could SO much be SO different? 

So I don’t ‘plan to hustle’ I ‘align to flow’. 

Empower: 

Here’s the official definition 

verb [with object and infinitive] 

give (someone) the authority or power to do something: nobody was empowered to sign checks on her behalf. 

Its a very egotistical power structure word. “I bestow upon you…” is the essence of it.

In my work I don’t see women or anyone as without authority or power. Everyone is born powerful and NO ONE can take that away, but like an illusionist, someone CAN convince you that they took it away. Therefore, if I am to open your eyes to the illusion I am not empowering you…I am not giving you something that you don’t already have within you…I am enabling you…but enabling has a stigma about it, doesn’t it? 

And here’s that definition:

give (someone or something) the authority or means to do something: [with object and infinitive] :  the evidence would enable us to arrive at firm conclusions. 

There is a very different energy about it for me. While both mention ‘authority’, empower talks of ‘giving power’  but enable speaks of ‘giving means’.

And further, enable is “ make possible: a number of courses are available to enable an understanding of a broad range of issues.” 

Rather than make (someone) stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights: movements to empower the poor.”

For me the difference is this. If I live in a house that has no electricity, I have to have the power company empower me. I don’t have electricity. I don’t have access to it at all unless it is given to me. 

BUT if I live in a house that has electricity, the power company does not empower me to flip the switch to turn it on. That is all me. 

We are born powerful. We do not get it bestowed upon us by anyone -other than perhaps our Creator, but that is a different conversation. However, the master illusionists in our lives and our society may have convinced us that those light switches on the wall are just for decoration. 

I enable people to access the power that others shamed them out of.

Help:

Oh, I saved this for last. Another very egotistical word that sets up a power structure. Why do you think it is SO hard for so many to ‘ask for help’????? It is felt as one reaching down to another. You have not fallen and need me to pull you up. You are not broken and need my help to put the pieces back together. No. I don’t help people…I assist people.

I assist people in their transformation transitions. 

That’s my magic super power. I am a transformer. I spark something in others that creates the fire of transformation. I am not their fire. I do not light their fire. I do not tend their fire. I do not set them on fire. 

I am a spark. Nothing more, nothing less. 

What one does with that spark is totally and completely up to them. If what comes next is nothing, then that is about them. If what comes next is a forest fire, that too is about them. I am a spark. Nothing more, nothing less. 

It doesn’t matter the transition you are struggling with: dying, grieving, marriage, unemployment, drug addiction, coming out, having a baby…my approach is still the same. 

I flow. 

I enable.

I assist.

I spark. 

And dare I say I might even sparkle while doing it!! 

I love you.

~Jade


“Empowering Women”

“Empowering Women” is big business right now. Or at least it is in my circles. I can’t scroll through Facebook without an add or a post from someone who describes their work as ’empowering women’.

These people seem to have successful businesses doing it. I say seem because who knows what is real. Anyone can say anything in their own advertising. Damn, you can even write your own testimonials. People are notorious for test driving fancy cars through fancy neighborhoods, taking a photo and presenting it as if it were their own manifestation. Yes, if you are paying attention, I am a little jaded – pun intended – on my own industry right about now. Because I don’t like tactics, or facades. I like real and authentic. But that’s another topic.

I do not and will not ever say I empower women. Women -actually, everyone – are born empowered. That Light that makes you alive is power. You always have it. You can’t lose it and I can’t give it to you. I can’t even do a ceremonial ritual to activate it in you. The very best I can do is ENABLE you to access it, because someone else DISABLED your access to it, prior. Honestly, all that disabling was an illusion anyway, so I’m really just pulling back the curtain. Its easier when you have the right tools, and I’ve been collecting them for a long time now.

What I’ve noticed lately in this empowerment culture, is a call to Sisterhood. What I’ve also noticed is that it is Sisterhoods run like The Boy’s Club. It is sisterhood as long as some one is doing poorly and those in power (hierarchy) can feel good about themselves lending a hand up.

Have you noticed that in a group of women when one puts herself down, makes herself small and criticizes herself, all the other women rally around and tell her how beautiful she is, how amazing she is, how much she has to offer and that she needs to find her voice to speak her truth?

Have you also noticed that, in that same group of women, when one who’s found her voice, speaks her truth compassionately, lends her educated opinion intelligently and offers to share her gifts generously, that same group of women put her ‘in her place’ and tear her down – telling her she is full of herself, opinionated, self-promoting and self-serving? “Polite” people will call her intimidating. (I’m not talking about those who practice the ‘fake it til you make it’ protocol. That is overcompensation, not authentic and not at all what I’m referencing here.)

I’ve watched it now, specifically for 6 months in various formats. So often I see women eager to raise up others they perceive to be beneath them, and tear down other women they perceive to be above them. Even more so, I see women aggressively tear down those they might feel are equal to them, because they see them as direct competition.

This is the Old Boy’s Club paradigm at work. They have divided us first from men, then from each other by race, religion and socioeconomic status. How smart that Boy’s Club is! We do all their dirty work for them! We take each other out for the smallest crumbs at the table. All they have to do then is take out the few that rise above the culling of the herd.

We have become our own worst enemy at exactly the worst time.

This world needs the Divine Feminine more than ever, but we have disabled ourselves. We have turned on each other and made it so we would each prefer to side with men, because at least there we know where we stand. We know what to expect. We know that we will be insulted to our face, not stabbed in the back. (And I think subconsciously, we think that is the path to power.)

Ever wonder why a woman would side with a man against all reason? Why when he treats her so poorly, she will stand with him against other women? Because of the Boy’s Club mentality. It is what has women support someone who openly admits that his power allows him to grab women by the pussy, and that those women think they are special because of it. It is why we immediately question a female victim’s motives, rather than supporting her in telling her story.

Like I said, the Boys did their jobs well.

It starts early and never seems to end. I experienced sexual harassment from a gang of girls in the sixth grade. My own mother threw me out of the house when she found out I’d reported my college teacher for sexual harassment. I experienced a gang of women chiding and making fun of me after I reported having been trapped in an office by a male co-worker unknown to me who made sexual references.

Have you seen this video circulating on Facebook?

You.

Must.

Watch.

We have too much been told we are too much. We have too much been dimmed. We have too much wounded one another in the race to the top of the pyramid. Enough!

Enough of the school yard bullying. Enough of the board room bullying. Enough! If you are a woman than your first inclination towards another woman needs to be kindness not competition. Boys have pit us against one another for far too long…since grade school for many of us. Enough.

I see so many women calling themselves warriors, boss bitches and even some who call themselves ‘spiritual gangsters’. This is not the way to embrace and honor the Divine Feminine! These are all men’s pants that women are putting on! We need to be the gentler strength. We need to be Queens and Goddesses! We need to be Maids, Mothers and Crones!! We need to embrace the strong woman archetypes of all variations, not just the ones that exhibit Divine Masculine.

We need to ‘beat’ them at our game, not try to play theirs. I just watched the most heart wrenching video of one of the most heroic women I have ever heard of. She isn’t a politician. She isn’t telling her ‘me too’ story. She hasn’t gone to the board room and declared war.

She was held captive and beaten for two days by her boyfriend, before she convinced him to take her and her dog to the veterinarian’s clinic. She then got out of eyesight of her boyfriend, wrote a note and slipped it to a tech behind the desk. In the note she states that she’s being threatened and her boyfriend has a gun. The staff went into action, put them in an isolated room and called the police without alerting anyone. The arrest was made smoothly without incident to her. Then she broke down while she displayed her bruises.

If you haven’t seen it, watch it here

It’s heart breaking but makes me so proud to be a woman. Never give up.

One woman had told her story in front of the nation and faced her accused abuser. I believe 100% of women need to support her, but I am shocked to find that not so. I do not understand.

And then today I see a video of a white woman who, without cause, barred a black gentleman from entering his own apartment building. And then I saw a post by a black woman who was reported to security and the police by a white man as she was going through her own trunk.

Underlying premise…people of color cannot have nice things.

What does that have to do with empowering women? 1) What if the roles had been reversed?  What if he had done that to her? And if she truly thought he didn’t belong why did she willingly lock herself into a confined space with him? 2) That white male…would he have called the police if he’d seen that black woman being raped instead of rummaging in her trunk? Or would he have chosen ‘not to get involved’?

I do not understand the society mindset today.

Women. We need to have each other’s backs and we need to not become douchebags and call it ‘asserting ourselves’.

Let’s be better.

I love you. I do. But some days…..

~Jade

 

 

No One Can Empower You

There are few terms that raise the hairs on my metaphysical neck more than, “I empower women”. I’ve seen a trend, the past few years, of many entrepreneurs and coaches introducing themselves with the phrase, ”I help women, by empowering them to…” Although their heart is in the right place, these women, in an effort to help other women, haven’t made it far enough up the road of personal development yet to realize that we are born empowered, thus to empower another is impossible. Its like giving someone permission to breathe.

You are power. And if you don’t feel powerful, its because you’ve given away your authority, not your power and that is a very different thing.

Power is our birthright. Its more than our birthright, it is what we are. We are power. We are never not powerful. From the time we are born however, we are conditioned to hand over our authority making us feel less powerful. Parents exert parental authority and fail to honor personal authority. A seemingly innocent event such as forcing a small child to give an older relative a hug when the child has indicated discomfort. Academia exerts scholastic authority and fails to honor personal authority by shaming, degrading and only teaching to a small percentage of students’ skillset. Some religions often exert complete spiritual authority obfuscating personal authority in the matter altogether.

We are conditioned out of our authority, by those who live fear-based, because it is far easier to control people when they believe they don’t have choices. When you don’t have personal authority you don’t see how many choices you have. Taking back your authority is as simple and complex as realizing you gave it away in the first place. You have every right to expand your personal authority by distinguishing what resonates with you and what does not. What raises your vibration higher and what weighs your vibration down. A simple question to ask yourself in establishing personal authority is “does this ring true for me?” then listen to your own answer. Don’t think about it, feel it. Does is make you feel lighter or darker?

We are empowered by our very incarnation. We are creators, the creation and the result of that creation. Every single moment we make choices that affect our creation. Every. Single. Moment. Each one no more or less powerful than the other. You might think there are smaller choices and bigger choices, but that is part of the illusion. In fact, often it is the seemingly  small choices that have more impact than the perceived big ones. Begin by examining your beliefs and where they came from. Were they of your experience and interpretation or passed down/acquired from others?

Being empowered means being aware of your personal authority and valuing each choice you make (big or small). This is where your power really is…in the present moment. Each and every present moment you experience is creating the next moment and its impact.

I love you.

~Jade

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.
 
To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.