What Is A Strong Person?

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On my Facebook page I asked “When you think of a strong person, what comes to mind?” Inquiring into behaviors, actions, thoughts and philosophies. The answers were many an varied. Some I resonated with, some I did not. What I loved was the conversation we were having.
When I think of strong individuals I look to those who have experienced challenges and grown from them by becoming ‘better not bitter’. That’s the bottom line.
 
It is not someone who hides their truth and puts on a false smile. It is someone who feels the feels, cries the tears, then dries them and finds the takeaway.
 
It is someone who goes out of their way to do no harm, including doing no harm to his own self. Thus, it is NOT someone who cares more about others, than they do themselves, but instead, one who cares about others AS MUCH as they care about themselves.
 
It is someone who speaks truth, but in a kind way when it is most likely to be heard with an open heart.
 
It is someone who has suffered pain but keeps her heart open to those who show up and do the work.
 
It is also the someone who shows up and does the work.
 
It is someone who pushes through and assists others on the path, not run them over.
 
It is someone who has every reason and opportunity to be angry but chooses to love. It is someone who loves himself first and lets that love flow unto others.
 
It is someone who does not see things in ‘right or wrong’ or ‘fair’. It is someone who realizes everyone’s journey is different and has value.
 
It is someone who is not in competition to be better or worse than her sister/brother, but interested in being better than her self, yesterday.
 
I know a lot of strong women. I know a lot of strong men. I know a lot of individuals who think they are strong and are not (not for the reasons they think that is). I know a lot of individuals who think they are not strong but really are.
 
Your default setting is set on strong. You are strength incarnated because you are unconditional love and what could be stronger than that??!! There is nothing stronger than that!!! We can be convinced by societal conditioning that we are not strong because of thus and so. Its a lie. A misnomer. Misinformation. Hogwash.
 
Find your strength and choose better not bitter.
I love you!
~Jade

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.

Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 

Join us for more conversation in our Facebook group Willow Song Firekeepers

As of now Jade is limiting the one on one work she does. For availability please email an inquiry.

To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

Regret Is A Gift

I aim to live my life with no regrets.

Regrets indicate that the past is taking up space in the present. It is far better to live a life fully present to your highest best, thus avoiding future regret. However, when they present themselves – if we are paying attention – regrets can be gifts.

We all do the best we know how and when we know better we do better. Regret is the understanding that we could’ve done better, but we didn’t believe it enough to stand in it. We knew the ‘better’ choice, but we didn’t believe in our ability to carry it out. We didn’t have the confidence to fully commit to that better version of ourselves and in hindsight we know we were so close.

Regret is the measurement between who we were and who we’ve become.

The beauty though, is that we can understand it in that context and give ourselves some slack. Regrets affirm our growth. We see a moment of our lives in a new perspective and hold ourselves to a higher standard.

The problem, of course, comes in when we allow ourselves to get landlocked in regret, aka: stuck in the past. Holding onto regret as if it were a record of faults keeps the pathological cycle going. Seeing regret as a growth tool stops the cycle and accelerates development.

In my own journey, regret has been an on again/off again relationship. In my thirties, I spent a lot of time looking back on my twenties (and then subsequently my thirties) with regret. In my forties, I completely let go of regret. I understood that I regularly do the best I know how to do at the time  – so I broke up with regret.

But after a recent expansion in my own development (spoiler alert: we are never done expanding) I began to find regrets popping up. No lie, at first it was a little unsettling. I mean I’ve lived at least 10 years without regrets, but I caught myself and stopped judging it. I just allowed them to be what they needed to be and listened for the messages. When I did this I heard – clearly –

‘this wouldn’t even be on your radar, if you hadn’t grown beyond it’.

I also noticed this was a different type of regret. It wasn’t the negative self-talk type, it had a ‘if I knew then, what I know now’ type of energy. More of a fantasizing of how things would have played out if I’d had the where-with-all to do what my Soul was ready to do, but my ego wasn’t. The energy of it felt loving not judging.

And it felt so amazing as I realized who I’ve become.

A Master

A Master of my own life. Not a slave to programs of old. Not a slave to the judgements of others. Not a slave to impossible expectations and crippling self-recrimination. Not a slave to anything, anymore.

Our lives are exactly what we perceive them to be. They are not what shows up as ‘evidence’, but instead how we interpret that ‘evidence’ and how we allow it to affect us. It is all about interpretation and perception. If we look at it as proof that we are victims then we are victims. But if we look at it as proof of our heroism then we are heroes!

Its about casting off the shackles of blame, shame, judgment and limitation and embracing how absolutely magical and all powerful we are!

Be a Master.

I love you.

~Jade

Check out our services page for more information on working with Jade personally to become your own Master. Or just check her out on youtube.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

Healing Crisis or Negative Consequence?

There are signs everywhere.

Interpreting the messages of Life can be tricky at best, overwhelming at worst. Its something I pride myself on having figured out. I have been called the “Queen of Reframing” and a “Mystic Midwife” because I’ve developed the skill of interpreting Life’s Language.

It wasn’t always this easy for me, not when I was using an outdated and corrupt ‘Life to English’ dictionary. I had to ferret out the false leads and influences to find out what messages Life was really sending me, rather than the propaganda I was being fed.

With time and attention I cracked the code and became affluent in Life Language. Now, I gladly share my knowledge, experience and expertise with others looking to gain a new understanding of Life and its messages.

Navigating Life without understanding its language feels a lot like stumbling around in the dark searching for your glasses. (Even if you find them, how will they help?)

How many times have you wondered if you are doing the ‘right’ thing to get what you want? Or maybe, you did the ‘right’ thing, but it brought you undesired results? Or maybe it brought you no results at all?

How many times have you tried a new exercise routine, diet, self-help formula or mindset shift only to find yourself saying ‘it didn’t work’ or ‘it only made things worse.’

If you are serious about improving your experience of life and pursuing the path of self-development then one of the foremost keys to decoding Life (and it’s language) is to discern between a Negative Consequence and a Healing Crisis. This is a very specific message with which most people on the self-development journey have trouble.

Example

You discover my Release Resistance program and enroll. You diligently do your work for a week or so and you feel great while you do it, but then ‘something’ happens to distract you. Its usually something moderate, sometimes something HUGE, but it distracts you from your work. It can be anything; illness, family emergency, money issues (credits or deficits), work etc. 

You forget about the program and settle back into your old patterns of behavior. You do what you’ve always done, and experienced what you’ve always experienced. Then an undesired experience comes along and you decide ‘nothing’s changed.’ 

A few months or maybe even a few years later you are reminded of the program and declaring ‘nothing’s changed’, you think to yourself  “Eh, that Jade and her stuff didn’t work for me.” 

Oh, didn’t it?

If you knew how to discern between Healing Crisis and Negative Consequence you could see that the program did work, but you stopped working it. (This goes for not only any service of mine but any other Shaman, Medicine Person, Mindset Manager, Healer etc. as well.)

Negative Consequence

When something – a program, a technique, an action or a belief – brings a negative consequence; it separates you from your highest self. It breaks down the healthy relationships you have and supports the pathological ones.

It is a result of making a choice that goes against what your Soul has planned for you. It brings you pain, but it also brings you another opportunity to make a different choice.

Negative Consequences show up as (not an all inclusive list):

  • dating the same type of person over and over and having the same negative endings
  • jobs that do not feed your passion
  • losing consecutive jobs
  • never getting ahead financially
  • never feeling fulfilled or happy
  • chronic feelings of isolation

Healing Crisis

When something – a program, a technique, an action or a belief – causes a Healing Crisis; it brings you face to face with your highest self. It breaks down the pathological relationships you have and supports the healthy ones.

It is a direct result of actions you have taken that bring you more into alignment with your Soul’s purpose.

Healing Crises show up as (not an all inclusive list):

  • break up in a pathological relationship
  • getting fired from a job that makes you ill
  • getting acutely sick (flu, cold, bronchitis, broken appendage…)
  • losing friends/relationships where the giving is one-sided
  • losing opportunities that reflect old patterns (safe options)
  • experiences outside your comfort zone

 

Now let’s revisit the example and label it.

Example Revisited

You discover my Release Resistance program and enroll. You diligently do your work for a week or so and you feel good while you do it, but then ‘something’ happens to distract you. (healing crisis) Its usually something moderate, sometimes something HUGE, but it distracts you from your work. It can be anything; illness, family emergency, money issues (credits or deficits), work etc. 

You forget about the program and settle back into your old patterns of behavior. You do what you’ve always done, and experienced what you’ve always experienced. Then an undesired experience comes along and you decide ‘nothing’s changed.’ (negative consequence)

A few months or maybe even a few years later you are reminded of the program and declaring ‘nothing’s changed’, you think to yourself  “Eh, that Jade and her stuff didn’t work for me.” 

Analysis

When you employ new strategies in self-development it is a LOT like creating a garden. You stir stuff up. Your job is to clear the field and make the ground ready to receive healthy new seeds, to provide an environment that is optimal for growth.

First you clear the field of rocks, branches, dead trees etc, then you dig up the surface and uproot weeds and wayward grasses. In this process you will find things you never expected to…things like hornet’s nests, ant colonies, buried trash, broken glass and sometimes even buried treasure.

In this process if you take a step back it will seem as if you’ve made more of a mess of things than anything else. Those who decided they are only making things worse will back out of the project at this point and let the weeds and grass takeover again. They will continue to experience negative consequences. Others, who see this as the healing crisis it is, will hike up their sleeves and begin to dig even deeper.

 

Buried Treasure

What’s super tricky is when the healing crisis doesn’t look like a crisis at all.

If we go back to the example…

You discover my Release Resistance program and enroll. You diligently do your work for a week or so and you feel good while you do it, but then ‘something’ happens to distract you. (healing crisis) Its usually something moderate, sometimes something HUGE, but it distracts you from your work. It can be anything; illness, family emergency, money issues (credits or deficits), work promotion or demotion etc. 

You are going along, working the program and complete, say 7 of the 23 lessons and an amazing opportunity comes along. Maybe its a new job, a windfall, an answer to a prayer or any sort of positive experience. This event is a direct result of your work, but it will draw attention away from your work if you let it.

And if you let that happen you are at risk of returning to old patterns because your ego will tell you that the event is not related to the work you were doing. Your ego will tell you it is coincidence, unless you already understand that there is no such thing.

And despite the positive event, you will end up incurring more negative consequences.

I’ve seen individuals drop out of their work midstream as soon as they experience a little of what they see as ‘success’.

Things I’ve seen happen (not an all inclusive list):

  • getting your dream job, then losing it
  • finding a good relationship and sabotaging it
  • experiencing a windfall and making bad financial decisions
  • buying a house and not being able to afford to keep it
  • being offered a publishing deal and having it rescinded

Commitment

When you are on the self-development path, commitment is your most powerful tool. It keeps you from backsliding, sabotaging and just plain giving up. It powers you to move forward no matter what illusion is shattering in front of you.

So, how can you tell that a program/action/belief/mindset shift etc… is actually working for you???? If something happens after you begin using it. There is no such thing as coincidence.

If something –anything– happens after you’ve signed up for a new regime (yes, that’s right, you don’t even have to actually begin the work for the benefits to come forth), then its a safe bet that it is working for you and you need to keep going. Don’t have expectations of how you think something will work, or what the results ‘should’ be (remember we eliminated the word ‘should’ from our vocabulary!) And if ‘something’ happens for Pete’s sake stick with it!!! Its working! Keep going at it! Leave your old patterns behind you and stride confidently into your new future!

“But what if I don’t think the program is for me?” 

That’s a fair question and my answer is, ‘you’ll know’. What I mean to say is it will feel like it isn’t a good fit from the beginning…down in your soul. It will not resonate. I use that word specifically because ‘resonate’ is different than ‘comfortable’. We aim for discomfort on our journeys of self-discovery. We also aim to live by our intuition.

If you went your whole life wearing your shoes on the wrong feet, you’d be accustomed to it and it would feel comfortable (aka familiar). And if someone came along and told you to switch your shoes and you did, it would feel uncomfortable (aka unfamiliar) but it would feel right somehow and you would instinctively know this was good for you. If, on the other hand, someone came along and told you to switch your shoes, but wear a size smaller, it would be both uncomfortable and not feel good (notice there is a difference between uncomfortable and not feeling good). And what if someone else came along and encouraged you to continue to wear your shoes on the wrong feet, just wear a larger size?

What do you think your experience of that would be??

See, if you are truly tapping into your intuition (which good self-discovery programs do) then you will know what resonates with you and what doesn’t.

Stay committed to yourself. When you find something that resonates with you, don’t turn your back on it. Don’t let yourself get distracted. Don’t stop yourself short at the buried treasure. And for your own sake don’t stop just because you dug up a hornet’s nest! Keep going. You are SO worth it!

Here’s to having more healing crises!!!

I love you.

~Jade

If you are so inclined, check out my services page to find the service that fits you and your wallet. 

 

 

My Magick Medicine

I was tasked by a mentor to write about my medicine in an exercise. 

I have the capability to see what isn’t seen and hear what hasn’t been said, to heal what hasn’t been healed. The magic to make the scariest moment totally surmountable.

From the moment someone contacts me, if we are a good match the healing energy begins to flow. I don’t even know if I’m ‘supposed’ to manage that or if that is just what is meant to be. It no longer drains me, I manage that, so perhaps this is how I know when we are in sync? This healing can be so powerful -even before commitments are made- that often that is all people need from me.

I create a space of pure self-empowerment. I empower no one. I only remove the layers of density in place that have convinced my clients of their powerlessness; like Michelangelo released David from the Marble.

I support, assist and facilitate. I facilitate opportunities for experiential exploration, assist is looking/interpreting them and support finding one’s own answers. This is the true Medicine Woman way. Not to fix things, but to allow the Self to realize there is no brokenness to fix.

Having a Medicine Woman support you is rather like the difference between using GPS and a map. GPS will tell you exactly how to get there, with (hopefully) no missteps. It tells you exactly how long it will take there and will suggest detours when delays occur. But with GPS you don’t learn how to navigate your own path.

But a Medicine Woman is like a map. She is a tool that presents  ALL the possible routes to get you where you want to go, which route do YOU want to travel? Which one suits you? If you get caught in a relationship/job/mindset, what way do YOU think is best to continue your journey? You learn how to navigate your own path which is a lifelong beneficial skill.

As always….

I love you.

 

~Jade

 

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.

Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 

To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

My New Year’s Thoughts

I know this may seem late, being it is the second of January already (damn, now its the third), I am right on time.

I spent the days of my holiday weekend with my beloved who was ill. It was good quality time, even though it wasn’t what either of us planned. We had planned to go to a friend’s party on New Year’s Eve and had to switch out for staying home and not even staying up to see the New Year at midnight. (Good thing the New Year was still there when we woke up!! 🙂 )

So, yesterday I just spent the day with my beloved being in the ‘now’. Whatever that meant in the moment and it was truly delicious.

So, today is the day for reflecting back and setting the course of the new year. It first started with the notion to change my word for the year from ‘Discovery’ to ‘Grace’. Why you ask? Because I realized that ‘Discovery’ has a much bigger stage to play on.

Initially I thought of life like school where we are meant to learn and graduate higher and higher. It suited me for awhile until I outgrew it. Then, I realized that life wasn’t about learning so much as it was about unlearning and remembering the truth. My truth. Ah, yes, remembering fit me so much better.

Until it didn’t.

That’s now…when I realized that I’ve moved from learning, to remembering, to discovering. OH MY SELF what an amazing feeling that brings to say out loud! YES!! It is about discovering. Discovering who I am not and defining who I am!

This led to a mission statement/mantra, for the year, and quite possibly for the rest of my life, ‘Surrender with Grace to the Flow of the Tao’. Man I just love saying that. I feel like I’ve been given the golden key to the city of Life.

Surrender

Surrender has different energy for me now, than it once did. Once upon a time, surrender meant giving up or failure. Now it has Peace woven into it and I understand it to indicate an opportunity to cease swimming against the current. My default will be to Surrender to the experience of the moment, whatever it may be.

With Grace

Grace is a new friend to me. She is what I call my Higher Self, my Bliss, my Connectedness. Grace is the highest version of myself. I say ‘Grace’ and immediately I feel connected to the Love of All That Is. I feel Grace in my energetic body. It is the name of the highest vibration I have experienced thus far. Do anything with Grace and I am on the right path.

To The Flow

Flow is another peaceful old friend. Flow and I have been friends for a few years now, but each year we discover new depths to our relationship. I look forward to the same this year, as I understand Flow to include ebbs, which is very different from lack. Ebb is a necessary ingredient in Flow and is as necessary to Life, as hibernation is to the bear.

Of The Tao

Tao is the way (of Life). It is the energy that flows, that Path, the Knowingness. The Tao is what is. It is the heartbeat of Life and when I am connected to It I cannot err, diverge, digress, delay, miss out, mistake or anything else. When I surrender to the Tao with Grace I will always be exactly where I am meant to be.

And so these are my musings on this (now) third day of January. I need to end it here or it will be the 2nd of February!

What are your thoughts on this 2018???

I love you.

~Jade

 

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.
Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 
https://www.facebook.com/Healing-Rite-of-Passage-Me-Treat-Workshop-520376758300839/
To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat Workshop

A facilitated transformational event designed for those feeling disconnected, discontented, depressed, anxious, melancholy, directionless or in some way dissatisfied and seeking a deeper experience of life.

Whether you choose the one day or the two day event, you will experience the Ritual of Joy and the Five Responsibilities of conscious living.

The Healing Rite of Passage Retreat/Workshop promises to be one of the most important things you will ever do for your body, mind AND spirit. Depending on whether you choose the one day or two day event…

  • You will learn how to access your energetic body and clear out blockages and heal wounds. 
  • You will learn to recall your energy from past events and relationships.
  • You will learn new communication techniques that allow you to speak from your spirit and not your ego. 
  • You will develop new relationships with like-minded journeyers. 
  • You will have the experience of living from your spirit. 
  • You will experience shamanic healing.
  • You will experience facilitating healing for others.
  • You will experience a lightness of body, mind and spirit as you release what no longer serves you. 
  • …and so so SO much more.

After the closing ceremony your life will never be the same (unless you choose it to be so).

Next One Day Events:

June 9, 2018

July 14, 2018

Aug 11, 2018

Sept 8, 2018

 

https://www.facebook.com/events/309106519557719/

Day 5 Self-Promotion/Self-Reveal Challenge

Broken Egg
An egg does not break, it breaks open.

This is day five of my shameless self-promotion challenge and I find myself a little lost for words today.

My thoughts on the challenge today are about ‘self-reveal’ than anything else, so I’ve been sitting with that today. Just sitting with it.

Deeply.

So, this is going to be more of a journal entry than a story telling post.

I feel something coming up through the depths to rise to the surface. It’s there just out of sight. I can feel it. Something huge. Something about revealing.

About standing on the stage, so to speak, saying “Here I am! I have SO much to offer and I’m worth paying for!”

I can speak to small and large groups without much of a sweat. I can facilitate very powerful retreats for as few as one, and as many as twenty. Why is that so hard for me to talk about then? I know that I had these leftover beliefs of my mother’s that ‘pride goeth before a fall’, that ‘you make yourself last until someone else makes you first’ and ‘vanity is a sin’. That is a lot to overcome, but I’ve recalled that energy. I’ve denounced those beliefs and I feel indifferent towards them now.

So what IS it? Why does talking about myself seem clumsy, disingenuous and awkward?

Perhaps because it is still new. Perhaps its just like blisters on your feet when you wear new shoes. It doesn’t matter if I’m clumsy at it, I just need to do it. To offer my support and promote my services whenever I feel they can be of assist. Without shame. Without feeling judgement for doing it.

What I’ve learned from doing this the past five days is that it feels good, not shameful to share my accomplishments. I am not boastful. My intention is not based from ego. I am proud of my accomplishments and take great pride in assisting where it is productive and appreciated. I love adding my energy to others to push through blocks that have proved challenging.

There is nothing more satisfying to me then hearing a client say ‘I never thought of it like THAT!’ or ‘OMG that makes SO much sense!’ Or to know that after one of our sessions an opportunity presented itself to my client ‘out of the blue’.

Its magic pure and simple.

What I do is magic, but it really is magic everyone can aspire to. KNOWING that makes all the difference.

I love what I do, because I love you, because I love me.

~Jade

L(i)FE – part 2

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This is the sequel to L(i)FE to further explore our Life Force Energy (LFE), and how your lack of care for it can have disastrous results on your physical health.

How It Works

We are sentient beings (Soul-our piece of Source) experiencing itself via an Earth Generated Operating System (EGOS – aka personality) and Spirit (Life Force Energy – Qi our Soul’s presence on Earth) through mental, emotional and physical opportunities.

The Breakdown of Illness, Disease and Disorder

When you fail to nourish your Qi from the five wellsprings of Qi (Source, Sun, Moon, Earth & Universe), you begin to use up reserves for daily living and invite illness, disease and disorder. Illness, disease and disorder are messages of the Spirit. Trying to get your attention to tend to what you are missing. Each aspect of our lives has physical and metaphysical properties.

Spiritual

The Spirit is the connection between our soul and our physical existence. The Spirit communicates with our mental and emotional aspects to lead us on our path. The path our Soul laid out before incarnation. In conjunction with Source our Soul outlined certain events to give us the fullest experience of whatever it is it desired to explore.

Spirit and EGOS work hand in hand in this experience to set the stage for the opportunity for the Soul’s experiment with contrast.

Earth Generated Operating System (mental)

The ability to process information, make decisions and cognitively process your experiences lies in the mental realm. This is the basis of the the Soul’s experience here on Earth. This is how/where experiences are translated and run through the belief system with Spirit.  This is the drive train of the human experience. This is where alignment or misalignment begins. Spirit connects with the mental as a first line of expression. Mental is where our understanding of Spirit is born and translated to the emotional.

Emotional

Our emotions are the first communication of our alignment (or misalignment) with our Spirit. Our mental realm is incapable of emotion and therefore cannot tell when its thoughts and beliefs are aligned or not aligned. Therefore the mental realm depends on the emotional realm to assess whether the physical experience is aligned with Soul’s purpose.

Depression and anxiety are two pieces of emotional evidence that thoughts/beliefs are not in alignment with who you are. Thoughts can propel you towards your destiny or away from it. Depression and anxiety are the result of beliefs that are in conflict with your highest self and your destiny. This discord, left unresolved will result in physical ailment.

Body

The body is the last place alignment/misalignment shows up. This is a last call, of sorts, to get you to pay attention to your spiritual self and get in alignment with your Soul’s purpose.

Let’s decipher a message from the liver as an example. Physically, the liver is the body’s chemical “factory.” It takes the raw materials absorbed by the intestine and makes all the various chemicals the body needs to function. The liver also detoxifies potentially harmful chemicals. It breaks down and secretes many drugs.

Your energy field acts like a filtering system. Metaphysically, the liver represents the aspect of your energetic filtering system that detoxifies harmful energies you encounter. It allows you to process what happens to you energetically and enables you to function. Illness, disease and disorders of the liver tells you that there is a breakdown in this process, that you have overloaded yourself with negative or low vibrational individuals/events/actions.

When we ignore our Spirit our emotions will send us notice, first. If we choose to ignore the message then illness develops.

This build up of misaligned energy is called suffering.

It is unnecessary.

I love you.

~Jade

If you are looking for a L(i)fe Force Energy Healing Session please email me at jadewillowsong@gmail.com. I work with all budgets so please do not let temporary financial resource blockages stop you from taking this step.

 

 

 

Support Female Personal Developers

I’ve been thinking…(uh oh)….

There is an underlying pattern of misogyny in the genre of personal development. It isn’t intentional, mind you. I’m beginning to theorize it as a result of conditioning. Although ‘touchy feely’, ’emotions’ and ‘naval contemplation’ has been ‘seen’ as a woman’s field just google ‘personal development speakers’, or ‘motivational speakers’, or ‘personal transformational speakers’ images and you’ll find the majority are males.

And these males? They collaborate with males. They might have women on their teams behind the scenes but they partner up with males or they cite other male professionals as resources.

But here is where it really hit my heart… as I observe polls asking for recommendations for self-help gurus, the majority of answers, EVEN FROM WOMEN, are men. This is where the real misogyny is taking place.

Confidence and the presentation of it, is at the heart of this.  What do I mean?

Men take up more space and aren’t ashamed of it.

As I watch some of my favorite online male counterparts I am in awe at how some manage to be charmingly cocky (I do not tend to favor cocky otherwise) to kindly confident. They make no apologies. They don’t seem to cater to anyone and they are bold. BOLD. Not as in daring so much as they speak like they know their shit is TRUE. They take up space without asking permission.

As I watch some of the familiar online female counterparts I see some trying to wear men’s pants figuratively and it feels out of place. It comes off cocky and not authentic. It seems like one trying to play like a man as a woman. Rather than just play like a woman.

I am not anti-male, in any shape or form. And I’m not whining about being a woman….I wouldn’t have it any other way. I see the value in balance, but right now there isn’t any balance. Its odd for me to google recognized professional speakers to find male dominance, but see a preponderance of females in the not-so-recognized online world.

I understand nature, so I don’t see this as something ‘contrived’ by humans. Look at almost any species and you’ll find the male dressed in the brightest, boldest colors, loudest call, most aggressive and most recognized. It’s in their nature. The bolder look imprints upon us, so when we think of a peacock it is the male peacock that immediately comes to mind. Same thing for a lion, a cardinal or a deer. Males natural tendency to be more aggressive makes them more notable and memorable.

So, I’m not blaming the men at all.

I just want to bring awareness that just because a female is not all bold and aggressive does not mean she is not as capable of serving, especially in the personal development arena. We have ‘softer’ ways, like the gentler hues of the female peacock vs the bold colors of her male counterpart.

I want to remind my female counterparts that you don’t need to ‘sell out’ to find success. Don’t try on the bold male colors that aren’t your palette. Titles like ‘badass’, ‘gangster’ and ‘warrior’ feel disingenuous to me.  It seems like a false sort of confidence.

Does that make sense? Does anyone else feel the energy incongruence thing happening here?

Confident women, ARE. When I think of confident women in the personal development field I think of Iyanla VanZant, SARK, Brene` Brown, Marianne Williamson, Maya Angelou…just off the top of my head.

I cannot, by any means state that any woman who uses these terms in disingenuous, I’m saying to me it feels like we women have been sold a load of men’s suits and have been trying to tailor them to suit us, rather than just wearing what suits us authentically.

If you are an authentically bold woman with a more masculine energy, GO FOR IT!! But if you are not, please don’t try to emulate a male’s approach to what you are doing. And please don’t think I’m suggesting you just substitute ‘badass’ with ‘goddess’ either. It’s perfectly ok to just BE, without a popular label.

I just want to remind everyone of the abundance of capable, effective and inspiring female personal developers out there and suggest you recommend them to your friends as readily as you do our male counterparts.

Our society is masculine heavy. We NEED a balance of yin and yang to reach our full potential. We NEED the bold brash yang energy of the male workshops that get you all pumped up and ready to break free of the astral gravity holding your ass in the chair in front of the TV. But we also all NEED the gentle beauty of yin energy in the female workshops to get you to really connect with your life force energy.

*Full disclosure, I confess, this post was written mainly for myself, as a reminder to not see my male counterparts as more successful because they are louder and brighter and seem to have more engagement and to quit trying to tailor suits for my womanly shape.

 

~Jade

Jade Willow Song is an Intuitive Qi Therapist who works with individuals seeking healing, clarity and guidance on their life path by facilitating transformational experiences. 

Jade serves others with her experience and education in metaphysics, crystal healing, Reiki, Therapeutic Touch, QiGong, guided visualization and meditation. In addition, Jade is an ordained minister with the Universal Life Church.

Jade holds a Bachelor’s in Social Work as well as certifications in Reiki and Therapeutic Touch. 

Touchy-Feely Never Killed Anyone

The news of the mass shooting in Las Vegas at the Country Fest struck me deep in my empathic center this morning. It has brought to mind a lot of thoughts and I need to get them out.

As I was growing up I often heard, “you’re too sensitive” and “you’re too emotional”. They meant it like there was something wrong with me, and I should change to be more like them. I had feelings and I talked about those feelings. It was no wonder that my dream then was to become a therapist. I wanted to help others talk about their feelings in a safe environment.

While I stopped talking about my feelings to those people, I did not stop expressing my feelings. I expressed them in poems, in short stories and to others who would listen. But along the way, I can’t tell you how many people I came across who said, ”I don’t believe in that touchy-feely shit.” Or claim “I’m not one for touchy-feely stuff.” Or just plain “I’m not a touchy-feely kind of person.” Or “Should we all just hold hands and sing kumbaya?!”

People think touchy-feely-kumbaya people are weak. But they aren’t the ones who break, are they?

Mass shooters, serial killers and mass murderers aren’t the touchy-feely ones. You never hear of a ‘flower child’ suddenly snapping and using a gun against another. Those who commit violent crimes, especially of mass proportions, are the ones who have gone out of their way to avoid touchy-feely. They are the ones who stopped when someone said they were too sensitive or emotional. They were the ones who had no outlet for the organic touchy-feely parts of us.

And you wonder why they pop?

This is a pressure cooker situation we’ve created, of course there will be mounting explosions…

…unless people start getting touchy-feely.

Lately I had been feeling as if the ‘Life Coach’ genre was becoming a bit over saturated and I pondered whether it is just another fad (yes, in part). I will be the first to tell you that half the life coaches I run across, have no business being “Life Coaches”. I use the umbrella term “Life Coaches”, but it includes many other titles, including Spiritual Advisors. Many of these people are carefully camouflaging themselves with touchy-feely leaves whilst not actually dealing with their own stuff in a healthy manner.

There is another breed out there though. Those people who truly are looking to facilitate transformation for others but doing their own touchy-feely stuff as well. People like Kyle Cease who gets on stage and says “hey can you help me process this?” And goes on to stand naked on the square as he works through an issue with an audience member. Him facing his own shit, was the ONLY way that guy from the audience was able to hear the message that was meant for him. Kyle didn’t PRETEND to work through his shit, he authentically did it.

This new breed does deep down dirty touchy-feely work. Its not life coaching and its not therapy. Mystic Midwifery is what I call it, because it is the birth of your authentic self. The one that got put back into the box little by little with phrases like “you can’t do that, you’ll never succeed” or “you need security” or “you’re not good enough” etc…ad nauseam.

There is a plethora of transformational facilitators who are truly motivated and authentic in their practices to assist others in their journey though the rough parts. They do this by demonstrating on a daily basis how they apply certain practices and philosophies in their own life. They don’t take a template and place it over your life, but instead assist you in making your own template. Its about giving you the tools once to use over and over again. Their goal is not about growing a ‘list.’ It’s about being authentic and real, then spreading that.

The numbers of these “Authenticity Coaches” is growing. I don’t think this is a fad, I think it is needed. I think the world is ready for a change and here are the change-makers! Here are the people ready to hold space for others to relieve the pressure in that pressure cooker. Here are the people ready to say “you are sensitive, here’s how we manage that”, “here are the tools to express your emotions”, people ready to throw touchy-feely life preservers.

We don’t need gun control, we need emotion control. We need cohesion. We need community. We NEED transformation.

As I sat at a bonfire this weekend, it occurred to me that sitting around a campfire was a part of everyday life for our ancestors. It was around the fire that feelings were shared, stories of experiences were shared and bonds were built. It was built in touchy-feely time. Silence was not uncomfortable as everyone gazed into the hypnotic flames of the fire. This was meditation for our many of our Western ancestors.

Then came the radio which provided a more entertaining form of gathering. People gathered around the radio listening to the news and shows, but then talked about it. It wasn’t a diversionary tactic, it was a tool. It was used purposely and then put away.

With the inventions of whole house furnaces, making fireplaces a luxury and TV providing distraction (and becoming addictive), the organic ways our families and communities bonded, decompressed and meditated disappeared. As a result our society is disintegrating. Literally dis-integrating. Even weekend bonfire are an excuse to party, not to be bond and connect. With of course the exception of certain religious sects where it fire has retained it’s sacred purpose. And again, it is not those people who end up in the headlines as murderers.

Its time to get back to touchy-feely.

Its time to embrace the transformation movement, because if EVER we needed a transformation it is NOW. I don’t want to see how far things can get. I don’t want to the worst humans can do to one another. I’ve seen enough.

I’ll close with this, only because I didn’t know where else to put it. I’ve heard so many people make statements around how they were raised ‘tough’ or how they avoid expressing emotion and then they end that statement with “…and I turned out just fine.”

It never ever fails. My only thought in response to that is, “did ya, though?”

I love you.

~Jade

If you are looking for a L(i)fe Force Energy Healing Session please email me at jadewillowsong@gmail.com. I work with all budgets so please do not let temporary financial resource blockages stop you from taking this step.