Don’t Be “The Bigger Person”

black-and-white-people-bar-men.jpgYou’ve had a conflict with another person. Things may have gotten out of control and both sides are hurt. You may think the other person is at fault or at least at greater fault. At one point someone suggests you apologize and you reject that notion. That person then says to you, “be the bigger person” and you reluctantly decide to make the first move towards resolution.

Chances are that resolution wasn’t as successful as you would’ve liked. In fact, it may have even made things worse and you might be wondering why.

When you label yourself ‘bigger’, you are -by default- labeling them ‘smaller’ and it immediately sets up an energetic power struggle. “Bigger” is a relative term, which means it has no meaning without reference to something “smaller”. Energetically this is communicated through any interaction then.

You continue the conflict (power struggle) by putting the other person down energetically and with your language. You can’t help it. If being the bigger person is your motivation then all action from that place will be tainted. Can you feel the difference between these two ‘apologies’?

I’m sorry if your feelings were hurt. I’m sorry you felt that way and that you took what I said wrong.

 

I’m sorry. I never intended for your feelings to get hurt and I apologize that what I said caused you pain.

Can you feel the difference in the energy?!

The first one is passive-aggressive and is pretty typical of someone who is coming from a bigger/smaller place.

While we are not responsible for how someone else feels, we are accountable for our actions and our actions impact others whether we intend for them to or not. I think it is important to understand the intent of our actions, realize there can be miscommunication even with the best of intentions and there need not be ‘fault’ assigned, when accepting accountability. Just clear transparent communication.

If you can’t come to a conflict resolution open hearted with no power struggle strings, then you are not ready for conflict resolution. Wait until you can come to the table with an open heart.

Unless/until you can come with an open heart, the resolution won’t have a solid foundation for a conflict free future and the only point to conflict resolution, is to build a conflict free future. This can’t be done if egos are running amok and the ego is surely running amok if the only way you can think about doing the ‘right’ thing is to consider yourself the bigger person.

Conflict resolution isn’t about getting one over on another. It isn’t about proving anything to anyone. Its about clearing energy from your heart center and improving the vibration between two (or maybe more) parties. Its only about ‘winning’ if both parties are winning. It isn’t about being a better person than the other, merely a better version of your self.

Here’s the thing…

Conflict resolution isn’t necessary unless you create conflict. There is actually a way to live your life in such a way to minimize or even eliminate conflict in a healthy way.

I can hear your disbelief. “Conflict is a part of life” you think, but it isn’t. Conflict, by definition is a “serious and protracted disagreement or argument”. Not seeing eye to on a topic isn’t an automatic conflict. It’s when people believe there is one ‘right’ perspective and endeavor to impose that on others, demanding agreement, that conflict ensues. Simple seeing things differently is not conflict, its perspective.

Now, here are four steps to live your life to minimize if not eliminate conflict healthfully.

  1. Let go of winning.
  2. Disagreements are not automatic conflicts.
  3. Conflict resolution does not equal confrontation.
  4. Shift from the negative to the positive.
Let go of winning

When you are aligned you realize there is no ‘right or wrong’. There is what resonates with you and what does not. You cannot speak for another on the subject of resonating. What resonates with you may resonate with another, but you can never know if it resonates in the same way because neither of you can know the experience of the other! All you can do is trust your inner self, when you are most connected to Spirit to determine what resonates with you. The goal is not to win but to expand!

Disagreements are not automatic conflicts

Speaking to one another with respect and understanding, focusing as much on understanding another as we do on being understood by another is primary to eliminating conflict from your life. Transparency means being authentic without the fear of reprisal or harm. Approaching a problem from two different perspectives is a wonderful way to find the best solution. When you eliminate the need to win from a disagreement, you are automatically opened up to explore the limitless possibilities of outcomes and conflict isn’t even a ‘thing’.

Conflict Resolution does not equal Confrontation

If you do end up in conflict and find yourself approaching conflict resolution, it is important to understand that conflict resolution does not equal confrontation. Confrontation is hostile, conflict resolution is not. It can be uncomfortable (remember what we said about uncomfortable in the intimidation article) but it not hostile. True Conflict resolution, by its very name, will focus on the resolution not the conflict. Whereas confrontation has the aggressiveness built in, defenses are up and an implied right/wrong dynamic exists.

 

Shift from negative to positive

I’ve saved the first for last. Yes, you read that right. The very first thing you need to do to eliminate conflict from your life is to shift from the negative to the positive. Why did I save it for last? Because if you remember nothing else from this post, I want you to remember this…it is the single most important and powerful thing you can do for the betterment of your life. I have many people confess to me that they wish to be more positive but find themselves stuck in the negative. That is understandable. You were taught to be negative, you weren’t born that way. So, you have to unlearn it in a matter of speaking and relearn to be positive. There is one simple two step trick to making the switch.

The first step is to be aware of your negativity. Pay attention to your thoughts and your words. When you find yourself focusing on the negative, even if it is simply how something didn’t live up to your expectations, notice it. Be aware that you are focusing on the ‘lack’ of something rather than the ‘gift’ of something.

Once you have gotten used to noticing your negativity, the second step is to double up on the positive. What does this mean? For every negative thing you think or say, you counter with two positives. Say you are out to dinner with friends and the waiter forgets the tea you ordered. You find yourself feeling irritated and make a snide remark to your dinner companions. You hear it. Now you find two positive things to say about the waiter. Yes, say them out loud, after all you complained out loud, didn’t you? Maybe the waiter brought you extra rolls or had a pleasant demeanor.

Making this change is conscious, which means it will take effort to 1) notice the negative and 2) double up the positive. However, the shift you will be making will cascade out to all parts of your life. You will be more conscious of how your mind works and whether or not your attention is on the negative of life or the positive (aka the lack or the gifts). Remember that life will bring you whatever you purchase with your attention. (It’s a little like Amazon.com that way!)

All right, this has been sitting in my drafts folder for too long now, so I’m going to hit publish and know that it is on it’s way to those who need to hear this message the most.

As always, remember…

I love you!

~Jade

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.

Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 

Join us for more conversation in our Facebook group Willow Song Firekeepers

As of now Jade is limiting the one on one work she does. For availability please email an inquiry.

To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

 

 

 

 

When I Want To Give Up

It’s supposed to be Spring here in South East Michigan. On my walk outside this morning I applauded my flowers who never give up even when they must push through the latest layer of snow.

IMG-0281

This vision really resonated with my Spirit today.

So many times in life it is hard to keep pushing on when circumstances don’t seem favorable for us. Its hard to know when we are meant to keep pushing on and when we are meant to give up.

If you know anything about me by this time, you know that I look to nature for examples of how things are meant to work in our lives. So, when I see tiny green foliage pushing through the dark soil to find the sun, I find inspiration. Even more so when the situation is even more adverse, like snow in the middle of April.

My plants inspired me so much this morning.

Despite the cold temperature and the ice storm yesterday they aren’t even drooping their little heads. They have no idea of what is going to happen in the future. They just believe that it’s their time to come out of the darkness into their own. They don’t doubt it, even with evidence seemingly to the contrary. They trust in their mission. They trust in their journey. They trust.

There are times in my life when the evidence in support of my plans, just doesn’t seem to be present and I second guess my decisions. It isn’t easy, is it? To keep pushing on our path, no matter what?

Sometimes I want to give up.

At times I’ve struggled on my path, wondering if I am truly meant to serve in the capacity that I intend, because things have not happened the way I wanted them to…when I wanted them to.

Pffft, Gurl Please.

If the flowers can plan to bloom on time despite adverse conditions, then so can I. Its not for me to let a little frozen water throw me off my game.

We need to continue to stay true to our inner guidance system despite the evidence that does or does not show up. Despite having second thoughts or hesitations I always come back to what I know. That lesson wasn’t an easy one though.

Plenty of times in my life, before I learned that the Universe is always conspiring on our behalf, I allowed those second guesses to cause me to say ‘no’ to something my inner guidance favored. Those decisions ended up being great lessons in why I need to always listen to my inner guidance system! I don’t like to call things ‘mistakes’, but they are certainly circumstances I don’t want to repeat. I endeavor to never learn a lesson twice!!

The other lesson there is that we never truly miss out on what is meant for us.

If something is in your destiny the Universe is going to make sure to keep it in your face. If you keep saying ‘no’ to it, the Universe will make it more and more uncomfortable to say ‘no’, until eventually you surrender and say ‘yes’!

Isn’t that so beautiful? Isn’t that so comforting to know? We truly can’t get this thing wrong if we listen to our inner Selves. Which means we can’t allow a little thing like ‘frozen water’ slow us down or make us second guess our path.

Life doesn’t come with instructions, nor does it come with guarantees. What it does come with is a guidance system. It’s on us if we choose to ignore it.

So, stay on your path. Let your heart lead the way, never give up and be the hero of your story.

I love you.

~Jade

P.S. 35 minutes after I posted this, I saw 4:44 for the second time today, so I real quick looked that right up! Here’s the link, so you can see for yourself my message from Spirit!

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.

Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 

Join us for more conversation in our Facebook group Willow Song Firekeepers

As of now Jade is limiting the one on one work she does. For availability please email an inquiry.

To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

 

Unconditional Love – What is it Really?

This is a common misperception…that unconditional love and boundaries/standards are mutually exclusive!!

Unconditional love means you love someone the way they are. This does NOT mean you have to be in relationship with them.

Its kind of like loving dairy but not eating it because it causes you ill effects. You can love it but not consume it.

Having boundaries and standards of the way you wish to be treated in a particular relationship is a structure you design and you love people unconditionally within that structure. For instance, you might love your husband and your child unconditionally but because they are different relationship structures you love very differently, right?

Same thing with other relatives. Each relationship has its own structure, but the basis (if you love yourself) will be one of respect, integrity and honesty.

You don’t need to, in fact, you should never, accept just any old treatment from someone and call that loving them! That is not love, that is codependence.

 You can love someone unconditionally but if they cannot maintain a healthy dynamic with you, you can choose not to be in relationship with them.

Does that make sense?

I love you!
~Jade

FOMO

While the acronym FOMO is fairly recent, the issue of ‘missing out’ has been a factor in life for decades. In 1913 a comic strip originated called, “Keeping Up With The Joneses”. The idea of someone else having more than you and feeling insecure about it existed long before that though.

So with the growth of capitalism, came the growth of materialism and what better way to grow materialism than to nurture the fear of missing out? What better basis for the advertising industry than to breed need?

As a personal development expert, I can tell you – without a doubt – there is no missing out when you live in alignment.

What does living in alignment mean? It is when you are in tune with your Soul and the vibration of your thoughts, deeds and beliefs are ever increasing. When you live like this, there is nothing you can miss out on because you are actively attracting all sorts of  things at that same vibrational level. So, you innately understand that anything is available to you, thus you don’t worry about an opportunity passing you by. That just isn’t a thing.

As soon as I identify the subtle FOMO messages in any advertising (and I tell you I see it everywhere, including -but not limited to- other personal development experts) I am instantly turned off of learning/buying from them. If you need to use fear to sell your product then it indicates fear within you and I’m not trying to have that in my life. I want to learn/buy from those who are aligned and understand how fear keeps our vibration from rising to its fullest potential.

Fear simply breeds more fear. Selling via fear, taints the product/service with fear. It cannot be that you sell something by way of fear, without the stench of fear permeating the purchase. I also feel that someone who wants to sell you security and especially personal development would not exploit your fear to manipulate you. These are incongruent and mutually exclusive and any ‘security’ you may feel as a result is merely an illusion.

Does that make sense to anyone else but me?

FOMO shows up in lines like “limited space available”, “only ten slots left”, “hurry before its gone” and “this won’t last long”. However it can be even more insidious, showing up in languaging that suggests ‘this product/service will make me complete/perfect’. If you are being made to feel you are not enough just as you are, then there is ‘fear’ driving that bus. Exploiting someone’s fear is the anti-thesis of what personal developers need to be doing. I don’t understand it.

We are beautiful and perfectly imperfect just the way we are; sometimes, though we ourselves feel an inner drive moving us forward to expansion. This drive does not come from outside our Self, it is of our Self. That feeling is something to pursue with a collaborator who speaks to that very part of our Self.

I am not looking to work with clients, nor do I wish to hire a coach for myself. What I am looking for (on either side of the desk) are people who can collaborate with me. There is no fear in collaboration! There is an energy of ‘you and I both have power and together we are going to do great things!’ What a wonderful way to start a journey together, right?!!? Don’t you think we can get greater results starting off from a place of power than a place of fear?

I certainly do.

Anyway, these are my thoughts on FOMO that have been rattling around for a long time now and couldn’t be contained a minute longer! Thanks for listening!

I love you!

~Jade

To find out all the ways you can collaborate with Jade, take a peek at the Service page. Check her out on youtube here and if you are inclined towards development type of conversations we’d love to hear your voice in our Facebook group Willow Song Fire Keepers

 

 

Regret Is A Gift

I aim to live my life with no regrets.

Regrets indicate that the past is taking up space in the present. It is far better to live a life fully present to your highest best, thus avoiding future regret. However, when they present themselves – if we are paying attention – regrets can be gifts.

We all do the best we know how and when we know better we do better. Regret is the understanding that we could’ve done better, but we didn’t believe it enough to stand in it. We knew the ‘better’ choice, but we didn’t believe in our ability to carry it out. We didn’t have the confidence to fully commit to that better version of ourselves and in hindsight we know we were so close.

Regret is the measurement between who we were and who we’ve become.

The beauty though, is that we can understand it in that context and give ourselves some slack. Regrets affirm our growth. We see a moment of our lives in a new perspective and hold ourselves to a higher standard.

The problem, of course, comes in when we allow ourselves to get landlocked in regret, aka: stuck in the past. Holding onto regret as if it were a record of faults keeps the pathological cycle going. Seeing regret as a growth tool stops the cycle and accelerates development.

In my own journey, regret has been an on again/off again relationship. In my thirties, I spent a lot of time looking back on my twenties (and then subsequently my thirties) with regret. In my forties, I completely let go of regret. I understood that I regularly do the best I know how to do at the time  – so I broke up with regret.

But after a recent expansion in my own development (spoiler alert: we are never done expanding) I began to find regrets popping up. No lie, at first it was a little unsettling. I mean I’ve lived at least 10 years without regrets, but I caught myself and stopped judging it. I just allowed them to be what they needed to be and listened for the messages. When I did this I heard – clearly –

‘this wouldn’t even be on your radar, if you hadn’t grown beyond it’.

I also noticed this was a different type of regret. It wasn’t the negative self-talk type, it had a ‘if I knew then, what I know now’ type of energy. More of a fantasizing of how things would have played out if I’d had the where-with-all to do what my Soul was ready to do, but my ego wasn’t. The energy of it felt loving not judging.

And it felt so amazing as I realized who I’ve become.

A Master

A Master of my own life. Not a slave to programs of old. Not a slave to the judgements of others. Not a slave to impossible expectations and crippling self-recrimination. Not a slave to anything, anymore.

Our lives are exactly what we perceive them to be. They are not what shows up as ‘evidence’, but instead how we interpret that ‘evidence’ and how we allow it to affect us. It is all about interpretation and perception. If we look at it as proof that we are victims then we are victims. But if we look at it as proof of our heroism then we are heroes!

Its about casting off the shackles of blame, shame, judgment and limitation and embracing how absolutely magical and all powerful we are!

Be a Master.

I love you.

~Jade

Check out our services page for more information on working with Jade personally to become your own Master. Or just check her out on youtube.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Bit About Trauma…

Everything we are, do, think and believe is connected to our Qi.

Therefore everything we are, do, think and believe affects said Qi. Trauma is a significant disturbance in our Qi. Often it is actually a predetermined event…one we ‘planned’ long before our incarnation. We choreographed it to be a significant factor in our development.

Our mental, emotional, physical and energetic bodies process everything that happens to us. Sometimes we ‘hold onto’ events and they are stored. Other times we simply allow them to pass through our awareness, we glean wisdom from it and release it. This wisdom then plays a part in our development/expansion.

Trauma, due to its very nature is something most people store if they are not aware. Even if they don’t intentionally ‘ignore’ the pain, they may not know how to truly release it from all bodies.

I do a pretty awesome healing session that would assist you in this manner from the energetic standpoint. It facilitates the release from all bodies and provides a clean slate going forward.

I love working with people who are ready to be free of their past experiences and glean only the wisdom after releasing the burden!!

Short and sweet today…

I love you.

~Jade

Healing Crisis or Negative Consequence?

There are signs everywhere.

Interpreting the messages of Life can be tricky at best, overwhelming at worst. Its something I pride myself on having figured out. I have been called the “Queen of Reframing” and a “Mystic Midwife” because I’ve developed the skill of interpreting Life’s Language.

It wasn’t always this easy for me, not when I was using an outdated and corrupt ‘Life to English’ dictionary. I had to ferret out the false leads and influences to find out what messages Life was really sending me, rather than the propaganda I was being fed.

With time and attention I cracked the code and became affluent in Life Language. Now, I gladly share my knowledge, experience and expertise with others looking to gain a new understanding of Life and its messages.

Navigating Life without understanding its language feels a lot like stumbling around in the dark searching for your glasses. (Even if you find them, how will they help?)

How many times have you wondered if you are doing the ‘right’ thing to get what you want? Or maybe, you did the ‘right’ thing, but it brought you undesired results? Or maybe it brought you no results at all?

How many times have you tried a new exercise routine, diet, self-help formula or mindset shift only to find yourself saying ‘it didn’t work’ or ‘it only made things worse.’

If you are serious about improving your experience of life and pursuing the path of self-development then one of the foremost keys to decoding Life (and it’s language) is to discern between a Negative Consequence and a Healing Crisis. This is a very specific message with which most people on the self-development journey have trouble.

Example

You discover my Release Resistance program and enroll. You diligently do your work for a week or so and you feel great while you do it, but then ‘something’ happens to distract you. Its usually something moderate, sometimes something HUGE, but it distracts you from your work. It can be anything; illness, family emergency, money issues (credits or deficits), work etc. 

You forget about the program and settle back into your old patterns of behavior. You do what you’ve always done, and experienced what you’ve always experienced. Then an undesired experience comes along and you decide ‘nothing’s changed.’ 

A few months or maybe even a few years later you are reminded of the program and declaring ‘nothing’s changed’, you think to yourself  “Eh, that Jade and her stuff didn’t work for me.” 

Oh, didn’t it?

If you knew how to discern between Healing Crisis and Negative Consequence you could see that the program did work, but you stopped working it. (This goes for not only any service of mine but any other Shaman, Medicine Person, Mindset Manager, Healer etc. as well.)

Negative Consequence

When something – a program, a technique, an action or a belief – brings a negative consequence; it separates you from your highest self. It breaks down the healthy relationships you have and supports the pathological ones.

It is a result of making a choice that goes against what your Soul has planned for you. It brings you pain, but it also brings you another opportunity to make a different choice.

Negative Consequences show up as (not an all inclusive list):

  • dating the same type of person over and over and having the same negative endings
  • jobs that do not feed your passion
  • losing consecutive jobs
  • never getting ahead financially
  • never feeling fulfilled or happy
  • chronic feelings of isolation

Healing Crisis

When something – a program, a technique, an action or a belief – causes a Healing Crisis; it brings you face to face with your highest self. It breaks down the pathological relationships you have and supports the healthy ones.

It is a direct result of actions you have taken that bring you more into alignment with your Soul’s purpose.

Healing Crises show up as (not an all inclusive list):

  • break up in a pathological relationship
  • getting fired from a job that makes you ill
  • getting acutely sick (flu, cold, bronchitis, broken appendage…)
  • losing friends/relationships where the giving is one-sided
  • losing opportunities that reflect old patterns (safe options)
  • experiences outside your comfort zone

 

Now let’s revisit the example and label it.

Example Revisited

You discover my Release Resistance program and enroll. You diligently do your work for a week or so and you feel good while you do it, but then ‘something’ happens to distract you. (healing crisis) Its usually something moderate, sometimes something HUGE, but it distracts you from your work. It can be anything; illness, family emergency, money issues (credits or deficits), work etc. 

You forget about the program and settle back into your old patterns of behavior. You do what you’ve always done, and experienced what you’ve always experienced. Then an undesired experience comes along and you decide ‘nothing’s changed.’ (negative consequence)

A few months or maybe even a few years later you are reminded of the program and declaring ‘nothing’s changed’, you think to yourself  “Eh, that Jade and her stuff didn’t work for me.” 

Analysis

When you employ new strategies in self-development it is a LOT like creating a garden. You stir stuff up. Your job is to clear the field and make the ground ready to receive healthy new seeds, to provide an environment that is optimal for growth.

First you clear the field of rocks, branches, dead trees etc, then you dig up the surface and uproot weeds and wayward grasses. In this process you will find things you never expected to…things like hornet’s nests, ant colonies, buried trash, broken glass and sometimes even buried treasure.

In this process if you take a step back it will seem as if you’ve made more of a mess of things than anything else. Those who decided they are only making things worse will back out of the project at this point and let the weeds and grass takeover again. They will continue to experience negative consequences. Others, who see this as the healing crisis it is, will hike up their sleeves and begin to dig even deeper.

 

Buried Treasure

What’s super tricky is when the healing crisis doesn’t look like a crisis at all.

If we go back to the example…

You discover my Release Resistance program and enroll. You diligently do your work for a week or so and you feel good while you do it, but then ‘something’ happens to distract you. (healing crisis) Its usually something moderate, sometimes something HUGE, but it distracts you from your work. It can be anything; illness, family emergency, money issues (credits or deficits), work promotion or demotion etc. 

You are going along, working the program and complete, say 7 of the 23 lessons and an amazing opportunity comes along. Maybe its a new job, a windfall, an answer to a prayer or any sort of positive experience. This event is a direct result of your work, but it will draw attention away from your work if you let it.

And if you let that happen you are at risk of returning to old patterns because your ego will tell you that the event is not related to the work you were doing. Your ego will tell you it is coincidence, unless you already understand that there is no such thing.

And despite the positive event, you will end up incurring more negative consequences.

I’ve seen individuals drop out of their work midstream as soon as they experience a little of what they see as ‘success’.

Things I’ve seen happen (not an all inclusive list):

  • getting your dream job, then losing it
  • finding a good relationship and sabotaging it
  • experiencing a windfall and making bad financial decisions
  • buying a house and not being able to afford to keep it
  • being offered a publishing deal and having it rescinded

Commitment

When you are on the self-development path, commitment is your most powerful tool. It keeps you from backsliding, sabotaging and just plain giving up. It powers you to move forward no matter what illusion is shattering in front of you.

So, how can you tell that a program/action/belief/mindset shift etc… is actually working for you???? If something happens after you begin using it. There is no such thing as coincidence.

If something –anything– happens after you’ve signed up for a new regime (yes, that’s right, you don’t even have to actually begin the work for the benefits to come forth), then its a safe bet that it is working for you and you need to keep going. Don’t have expectations of how you think something will work, or what the results ‘should’ be (remember we eliminated the word ‘should’ from our vocabulary!) And if ‘something’ happens for Pete’s sake stick with it!!! Its working! Keep going at it! Leave your old patterns behind you and stride confidently into your new future!

“But what if I don’t think the program is for me?” 

That’s a fair question and my answer is, ‘you’ll know’. What I mean to say is it will feel like it isn’t a good fit from the beginning…down in your soul. It will not resonate. I use that word specifically because ‘resonate’ is different than ‘comfortable’. We aim for discomfort on our journeys of self-discovery. We also aim to live by our intuition.

If you went your whole life wearing your shoes on the wrong feet, you’d be accustomed to it and it would feel comfortable (aka familiar). And if someone came along and told you to switch your shoes and you did, it would feel uncomfortable (aka unfamiliar) but it would feel right somehow and you would instinctively know this was good for you. If, on the other hand, someone came along and told you to switch your shoes, but wear a size smaller, it would be both uncomfortable and not feel good (notice there is a difference between uncomfortable and not feeling good). And what if someone else came along and encouraged you to continue to wear your shoes on the wrong feet, just wear a larger size?

What do you think your experience of that would be??

See, if you are truly tapping into your intuition (which good self-discovery programs do) then you will know what resonates with you and what doesn’t.

Stay committed to yourself. When you find something that resonates with you, don’t turn your back on it. Don’t let yourself get distracted. Don’t stop yourself short at the buried treasure. And for your own sake don’t stop just because you dug up a hornet’s nest! Keep going. You are SO worth it!

Here’s to having more healing crises!!!

I love you.

~Jade

If you are so inclined, check out my services page to find the service that fits you and your wallet. 

 

 

I Love You

My understanding of these three little words have transformed proportionately to my own evolution.

As a child I had the most open concept of love. I loved everything around me. Every person. Every animal. Every tree. Every plant. Every space. Every rock. Every stuffed animal. Every fairy.

I even loved myself…until my mother told me ‘vanity was a sin.’

My mother, with good intentions, taught me fear. She taught me that to love so openly would only bring heartbreak when those I loved, loved me not. Or that those I loved would use that love to manipulate and diminish me (I’m sure she didn’t realize that is exactly what she was doing).

She learned this fear from my Grandmother, who taught it to me too, when she taught me about ‘rape’ after I shared with her that I’d had my first kiss. And my mother reinforced that when she cautioned me on ‘all things male’ well into my twenties.

In my youth and young adulthood I sought love everywhere, in search of that childhood feeling of freedom, not realizing I had cut myself off from it. I believed love was selective. That in order to be loved you needed to be perfect and that in order to love you needed to find perfection.

I remember the first time I heard someone say “I love you” in a non-intimate circumstance. I don’t remember what it was exactly, some motivational/inspirational setting, and all I could think was “What a crock. You can’t love me, you don’t know me – you don’t know all the unlovable things I’ve done, been and said”.

I distrusted “I love you”.

In many ways I felt I needed to prove my love to others and thus needed others to prove their love to me. I started every relationship from a point of ‘no love’ with the understanding that if one did enough, well enough, then it would move to ‘love’.

This is not how we are meant to live. What this did was make me vulnerable (correct use of the word) to all the horrible things my mother and grandmother cautioned me about. In fact, it served to make me vulnerable to date rape, molestation, sexual harassment, bullying, intimidation, self-sabotage, poverty and prime to suffer at the hands of multiple narcissists.

I was searching for something I didn’t even believe could be mine. This became the foundation for self-sabotage in my life.

Then along came Emma. Giving birth to my daughter opened my heart and gave me a glimpse of the unconditional love I had in my childhood. It felt familiar, heavenly and ‘right’. There was no struggle. There was no “let me get to know you before I decide if I love you.”

I began to realize that we are meant to come from a place to love, right off the bat. 

The healing started with the love for my child, but it was my love for myself that was needed. I had to get back to that place and overcome the counterproductive programming that had me believe that we needed to earn love and that loving oneself was vanity.

As I began to accept myself for every imagined flaw, I began to see beauty in them. Just like the crystals I collected, with their inclusions – each ‘flaw’ a beauty mark. What made me different did not make me weird, ‘less than’ or a disgrace, it made me amazing, unique and priceless. It made me stand out as I was meant to, rather than blend in which is what I had tried to do – and failed miserably.

I ‘failed’ because I wasn’t being authentic. I was always using my energy to be something I wasn’t, in order to gain love and acceptance. There was so much incongruence between who I was being vs who I was born to be that it created a breeding ground for illness (recurring acute illnesses) and disease/disorder (cancer) to set in.

As I loved myself more, I awakened to all the people I loved that I hadn’t credited. Specifically my friends, and I started telling them “I love you”. At first it was uncomfortable – not for me, but for them. I scared a few people away with it, because they were operating with the same limited definitions I had been. Explaining what you mean to people isn’t easy, either. Especially when they are of the opposite sex. A woman only tells a man she loves him if she wants to marry him. NOT! Thus I was labeled ‘clingy’ by a few.

So, here I was telling these people I loved, that I loved them and stirring up all sorts of stuff for them, all the while experiencing more and more love! It was wonderful! The more I loved others, the more love I found for myself as well.

The truth is until and unless we accept and love ourselves, we will always find the love and acceptance of others suspect.

Meaning we will discount it as often as we can. As well, we will always give out our own love and acceptance sparingly, even when we think we are being nonjudgemental and unconditional.

Not so long ago I became overwhelmed with the realization of the love I have for my fellow humankind: people over the internet, people I witness briefly in passing and even people whose struggles have merely been relayed to me.

Spontaneously, my posts began to end themselves with “I love you”. I never even questioned it.

*in a whisper* Ok, that’s a lie. My lower self totally questioned if others would think it disingenuous – only for like a second, though.

I never thought to change it. And then the next one ended that same way. Then it became clear that I’d reached a new relationship with ‘I love you’. The one I’d had all those many years ago as a child.

Whether this is the highest evolution of “I love you” or not, it is my highest evolution to date and it boils down to this…

I love you because I love me and I see me, in you.

 

I love you, truly.

~Jade

 

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.

Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 

As of now Jade is limiting the one on one work she does. For availability please email an inquiry.

To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

 

 

 

 

My Magick Medicine

I was tasked by a mentor to write about my medicine in an exercise. 

I have the capability to see what isn’t seen and hear what hasn’t been said, to heal what hasn’t been healed. The magic to make the scariest moment totally surmountable.

From the moment someone contacts me, if we are a good match the healing energy begins to flow. I don’t even know if I’m ‘supposed’ to manage that or if that is just what is meant to be. It no longer drains me, I manage that, so perhaps this is how I know when we are in sync? This healing can be so powerful -even before commitments are made- that often that is all people need from me.

I create a space of pure self-empowerment. I empower no one. I only remove the layers of density in place that have convinced my clients of their powerlessness; like Michelangelo released David from the Marble.

I support, assist and facilitate. I facilitate opportunities for experiential exploration, assist is looking/interpreting them and support finding one’s own answers. This is the true Medicine Woman way. Not to fix things, but to allow the Self to realize there is no brokenness to fix.

Having a Medicine Woman support you is rather like the difference between using GPS and a map. GPS will tell you exactly how to get there, with (hopefully) no missteps. It tells you exactly how long it will take there and will suggest detours when delays occur. But with GPS you don’t learn how to navigate your own path.

But a Medicine Woman is like a map. She is a tool that presents  ALL the possible routes to get you where you want to go, which route do YOU want to travel? Which one suits you? If you get caught in a relationship/job/mindset, what way do YOU think is best to continue your journey? You learn how to navigate your own path which is a lifelong beneficial skill.

As always….

I love you.

 

~Jade

 

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.

Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 

To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

Progress Is Not Linear

Bear with me now because the thoughts are running faster than my hands can type.

Progress isn’t linear.

I first understood this last year as we were recovering from Chris’s stroke. One day he could do something better than the previous day, but the next day he was worse than the first day. It was so frustrating! That’s when I heard Spirit say, ‘Progress is not linear.’

It is not linear in the Body as evidenced by his stroke recovery and also by my Whole30 process, as well. One day I feel no cravings and the next that sneaky feeling of needing ice cream slips in while I’m napping.

Some days are easier than others. Some days are more than others. Some days are less than others. Some days its all too much and other days you can’t get your fill.

Progress isn’t linear.

Its not linear in the Mind either. I have seen it for years with my clients. So often they want to give up because it isn’t easy or because it isn’t going as fast as they’d like. I see this in my fellow W30 peeps too! Sometimes because its hard right from the start. Other times because it was easier the first few days, but let some time pass and the really deep work begin and not so much.

Progress isn’t linear.

Its not linear in the Spirit either. There is no one and done victory. It takes a lot of fortitude to accept new belief constructs and hold to them in stressful situations when it would be easier to go back to believing old tenets that no longer serve you. In fact, I’d say more often than not, in the beginning, you have to catch yourself automatically going to those old tenets and remind yourself of your new choices. But it takes time and patience and attention.

Progress isn’t linear.

When you expect things to improve by a nebulous “better” each day you will inevitably feel a failure because you are not progressing linearly. But it is actually your expectations that are failing!

You can’t expect progress to start in one place and go up and up and up. That is not how our bodies or anything in life works. Life ebbs and flows and spirals. It also has layers like an onion. When we are purging things whether physically or emotionally, we often see a ‘breakthrough’ looking like a ‘breakdown’.

 

Don’t be your own worst enemy, no matter what area you are challenging growth in, use the ‘quitting is no option‘ motto to get you through and remember that progress is not linear, so you are right on track!

I love you.

~Jade

 

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.
Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 
To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.