Sisterhood – The Woman In The Mirror

This endeavors to be one of the most significant pieces I have yet to write. The task seems daunting as I sit here with a blank screen. Yet emotions flood my heart and thoughts are whirring through my mind. I just can’t seem to figure out how to get it all out in a comprehensive way. I want to do it justice…

As far back as I can remember other females have comprised the majority of bullies in my life. Not all, mind you, but most.

My first real taste of Sisterhood came in college, as I attended an all women’s college in Minnesota. To be sure, there were times of cattiness, betrayal and moments of hurt, but they were isolated incidents instigated by wounded individuals. As a whole, this group of women stood together and provided the container that supported the greatest changes in me up until that point. I still feel supported by them to this day.

When I entered the workforce I expected the same experience, but nothing could be further from the truth. From the first job, I experienced women who would be my undoing and learned that men were a commodity women would lie, steal and cheat to have. That their insecurities would be cause for my demise, rather than their own self-improvement.

I found myself aligning with men, only to have most of them exploit that. Not all, mind you, but most. This left me feeling insecure, vulnerable and isolated.

Hence I became anti-social and a loner. I craved the connection with women like that I experienced in college. Again and again I was disappointed and often targeted.

Here and there over the years, I would find a friend that proved to be what I was looking for, but even some of those dissolved into nothingness as insecurity, men or other women degraded the quality.

And one friend here and there isn’t enough.

Not for any of us. We are better than that. Even our uteruses know it, as they sync with each other over time. Our bodies are connected because we are of One. The males are not like that. We are unique. We are not separate. We are not meant to fight one another. We are meant to hold hands and join our hearts. We are not meant for animosity. We are built for union.

Now I know when I find a woman with her claws out, that she is in discord and needs my support, not my defensiveness. I do not need to stand within striking distance, but neither do I need to strike.

She is in enough pain.

How do I know? Because the woman in the mirror showed me. The woman in the mirror sees her own scars, the ones no one else can see, but bleed invisible blood all over the nice blouse that covers her chest. The woman in the mirror reveals every scar, scab, blemish, and wound. Who could be joyful with that image every morning?

For many years that woman in the mirror ruined my own mornings, leaving me scarred and scared for the day. Waiting for the next punch or for someone to pull the proverbial chair out from under me. Learning to see that woman in the eyes of others, helped me to understand them a little better.

That woman over there? The one who just drew blood from another? She’s dying. Her heart is shriveling and her spirit is broken. Chances are, like me, her bullies have been women too and she’s grown distrustful like a scared beaten dog prone to lunging. Like that dog I want to take home to care for, I must allow that wounded woman to find her own way to me, because any quick movement towards her will be seen as aggression.

We can’t turn on one another, nor can we allow anyone to pit us against one another; not men, not bosses, not politicians, not society and not other women. We must remember we are all queens and behave as such. We are the commodity of value! WE are! Do not let anyone separate us by race, religion, education, socioeconomic status, vocation, size, skin color or standards of beauty! Stand united! No matter what!

If you are in competition with your sister, see how you can raise one another up, not beat one another down. If you have something uncomfortable to say to your sister, say it from love, not insecurity or jealousy. Speak to heal, not to wound.

Sisterhood is a sacred art lost decades ago, because of those intimidated by the power of it. A ‘weaker sex’ myth was created…and we bought it. We bought it hook line and sinker. We bowed to the patriarchy, or rather the bastardization of patriarchy, because real patriarchs would never discount, dismiss or disgrace the matriarch.

No woman need take up with another woman’s partner. A partner who would take up with another woman, deserves neither. A woman needs to have enough confidence to walk away when she is being devalued in such a way. Not because a mistake was made, but because of the lack of character in her partner. A woman who knowingly takes up with a partner who is attached to another woman needs to understand she is devaluing herself as well as her sister. No woman need strike another woman down to raise herself up.

Only wounded sisters do those things.

In business we need to be mindful of deception and illusion meant to use women to exploit other women. We need to support the young minds coming up and invest in the future of the Feminine in all ways. We need to stand ready to stand up for our sister when she is too tired to stand herself.

We need to celebrate when our sister shines, because when our sister shines, we shine all the brighter. Her success is not our failure! It is our success too! Her Light does not diminish ours in anyway!

It is the Sisterhood that holds the only promise of healing the deep wounds of our world.  It is the Sisterhood that will raise us up out of this bastardized patriarchal structure we’ve been imprisoned in.

The Sisterhood is inclusive. It welcomes all women of every corner of the world. It welcomes all those who identify as women without judgement. And it welcomes those men who share its values and support it.

It does not discriminate in any way. It does not judge, disgrace or devalue its members. It is not jealous. It raises each member up to his or her highest form.

It is in Sisterhood that we will truly come to know the full extent of our power for just as our bodies sync, so too do our Spirits!

I love you.

Your Sister,

Jade

 

 

Keep On Rising Anyway

I was invited to share my RISING story in a global sisterhood group. When I finished with it, I decided I needed to share it even more. So here it is…in its entirety. (You might want to make a sandwich.)

Hi, my name is Jade, thank you for the invitation to share my RISING story, Kat.

Two years ago I wrote a poem entitled “Keep On Rising Anyway”. To date it is still one of my favorites.

Hard lessons in Rising came early in my life.

It started at the age of three, my very first memory, when I woke in the middle of the night and went to my parent’s room. There lying on the floor, tangled in the sheets and blanket, my father lay motionless. I tried to wake him, but he just wouldn’t wake up. I loved my mother and my grandmother, but my father and I had a special bond.

Neighborhood kids taunted me with the notion that my father was in a deep dark hole.

My mother would later remarry and they adopted a little girl. I was so excited to have this baby sister! We were a family. A year later, tragedy struck again, when my mother and favorite aunt were in a head on car collision with a drunk driver.

My aunt was thrown through the windshield and died four days later. My mother, having hit the windshield and cracked it, survived but was forever changed.

My mother suffered with fear, anxiety, depression and survivor’s guilt and she painted my childhood with those colors. She turned to alcohol as a coping mechanism.

She taught me to be afraid, to never question authority and that seeking my own happiness was selfish. She did this because she thought it would keep me safe. She didn’t do it to harm me, yet harm me it did.

I didn’t know I had the right to say ‘no’. I didn’t know how to say ‘yes’ to myself. And I didn’t know happiness.

I suffered all the things she thought she was protecting me from. Sexual assault, molestation, date rape (before it had a name), sexual harassment and exploitation. Because of all the things I thought were true, I believed I had already failed at life and I found myself standing on the railroad tracks staring at the engine light in the darkness.

The next thing I remember is being swayed by the momentum of the train as it passed me by. I don’t remember stepping off those tracks.

Something in my changed that day. Something that enabled me to stand up against the professor who was sexually harassing me. Something that enabled me to see that I had more than sex to offer men.

Something that enabled me to start saying ‘yes’ to me, but I still had a hard time saying ‘no’ to anything less than everything I deserved.

So, I married a man I would later discover was narcissistic, pathological and mentally/emotionally abusive.

I struggled with suicidal thoughts until the birth of my 5 lb 10.5 oz little girl. She changed my whole perspective on life and living. 

She was 6 weeks early and had health challenges. At three months old we discovered she had a mass in her abdomen. The only option was surgery, the doctors just wanted to watch it for a month to see how fast it was growing before deciding when to operate.

While working in Hospice I learned something called ‘Therapeutic Touch’, a Western adaptation of the ancient Eastern energy healings of Reiki. During the month we waited to return to the hospital I did this energy healing on my daughter as often as I could. When we returned to the hospital there was no evidence of the mass. None. The doctors were speechless, offering no explanation. I, of course, needed no explanation. I knew.

From then on, energy healing was my obsession. All forms of it. I researched and taught myself multiple modalities and blended them all over the decades into something eclectic and totally unique to me. I incorporated crystals as well as essential oils as well. Starting at the age of four, my daughter often worked side by side with me on my hospice clients.

I spent 23 years with that man, while I raised our daughter alone within the walls of that marriage.

I eventually found the strength and clarity to leave that marriage and forge a new life for she and I. She was angry. I was angry. But we moved through that anger and landed on better shores.

Three years after leaving with only half our possessions, I found a man who understood my value and treats me (and my daughter) accordingly. A man who set such a fine example of a partner that my daughter now has a good relationship model to work from.

A man who supported me when I walked away from a 28 year career to follow my passion – my heart – my calling – as a healing facilitator.

A man who understood our complicated grief when my daughter’s father died two years ago.

A man who survived a brainstem stroke last year.

A man who says ‘I can’t explain why what you do works, but I know it does’ when referencing my healing abilities and credits the same for his miraculous recovery.

Now, I serve at the pleasure of Spirit in whatever way I am needed. I provide counsel, hold space and facilitate energy healing to people all over the world. I have a home and a family that allow me to invite people in for healing retreats, workshops and seminars. I am refining my craft of writing as well, expressing my voice through my blog.

All sorts of things will happen on our journey’s to rise. On your journey you may encounter high jackers, hitch hikers, thieves, speed bumps, potholes, detours and maybe even road closures…keep on rising anyway!

Keep On Rising Anyway

In raising your vibration you are likely to shake off some dirt.

Keep on rising anyway.

“Dirt” can be anything from friends, family, co-workers to jobs or marriages. Its never really that enjoyable, but its unavoidable. Sometimes the dirt you shake off will be welcomed to leave. Others will be a loss.

Keep on rising anyway.

You might have face to face stand offs or you might experience drifting apart. You might get fired, you might quit.

Keep on rising anyway.

You might lose lifelong friends or family members. You might suddenly find yourself the center of a witch hunt or town gossip (so to speak).

Keep on rising anyway.

You might find yourself on a very lonely path. You might find yourself the target of much animosity.

Keep on rising anyway.

You might find yourself in a leadership position unwittingly. You might find yourself surrounded by others seeking guidance and solace on their own paths of rising vibrations.

Keep on rising anyway.

You might find yourself on the edge of all your dreams come true. You might find yourself in a very new group of friends in the middle of some really amazing experiences.

Keep on rising anyway.

You might find yourself afraid of the change and the changes to come. You might find yourself afraid of failure, but more importantly afraid of success.

Keep on rising anyway.

Let the dirt fall away. Leave behind what no longer serves you. Walk away from those who do not understand you. Send peace to those who would wish you harm. You might find yourself higher and lighter than you’ve ever been.

Keep on rising anyway.

 I love you.

~Jade

Support Female Personal Developers

I’ve been thinking…(uh oh)….

There is an underlying pattern of misogyny in the genre of personal development. It isn’t intentional, mind you. I’m beginning to theorize it as a result of conditioning. Although ‘touchy feely’, ’emotions’ and ‘naval contemplation’ has been ‘seen’ as a woman’s field just google ‘personal development speakers’, or ‘motivational speakers’, or ‘personal transformational speakers’ images and you’ll find the majority are males.

And these males? They collaborate with males. They might have women on their teams behind the scenes but they partner up with males or they cite other male professionals as resources.

But here is where it really hit my heart… as I observe polls asking for recommendations for self-help gurus, the majority of answers, EVEN FROM WOMEN, are men. This is where the real misogyny is taking place.

Confidence and the presentation of it, is at the heart of this.  What do I mean?

Men take up more space and aren’t ashamed of it.

As I watch some of my favorite online male counterparts I am in awe at how some manage to be charmingly cocky (I do not tend to favor cocky otherwise) to kindly confident. They make no apologies. They don’t seem to cater to anyone and they are bold. BOLD. Not as in daring so much as they speak like they know their shit is TRUE. They take up space without asking permission.

As I watch some of the familiar online female counterparts I see some trying to wear men’s pants figuratively and it feels out of place. It comes off cocky and not authentic. It seems like one trying to play like a man as a woman. Rather than just play like a woman.

I am not anti-male, in any shape or form. And I’m not whining about being a woman….I wouldn’t have it any other way. I see the value in balance, but right now there isn’t any balance. Its odd for me to google recognized professional speakers to find male dominance, but see a preponderance of females in the not-so-recognized online world.

I understand nature, so I don’t see this as something ‘contrived’ by humans. Look at almost any species and you’ll find the male dressed in the brightest, boldest colors, loudest call, most aggressive and most recognized. It’s in their nature. The bolder look imprints upon us, so when we think of a peacock it is the male peacock that immediately comes to mind. Same thing for a lion, a cardinal or a deer. Males natural tendency to be more aggressive makes them more notable and memorable.

So, I’m not blaming the men at all.

I just want to bring awareness that just because a female is not all bold and aggressive does not mean she is not as capable of serving, especially in the personal development arena. We have ‘softer’ ways, like the gentler hues of the female peacock vs the bold colors of her male counterpart.

I want to remind my female counterparts that you don’t need to ‘sell out’ to find success. Don’t try on the bold male colors that aren’t your palette. Titles like ‘badass’, ‘gangster’ and ‘warrior’ feel disingenuous to me.  It seems like a false sort of confidence.

Does that make sense? Does anyone else feel the energy incongruence thing happening here?

Confident women, ARE. When I think of confident women in the personal development field I think of Iyanla VanZant, SARK, Brene` Brown, Marianne Williamson, Maya Angelou…just off the top of my head.

I cannot, by any means state that any woman who uses these terms in disingenuous, I’m saying to me it feels like we women have been sold a load of men’s suits and have been trying to tailor them to suit us, rather than just wearing what suits us authentically.

If you are an authentically bold woman with a more masculine energy, GO FOR IT!! But if you are not, please don’t try to emulate a male’s approach to what you are doing. And please don’t think I’m suggesting you just substitute ‘badass’ with ‘goddess’ either. It’s perfectly ok to just BE, without a popular label.

I just want to remind everyone of the abundance of capable, effective and inspiring female personal developers out there and suggest you recommend them to your friends as readily as you do our male counterparts.

Our society is masculine heavy. We NEED a balance of yin and yang to reach our full potential. We NEED the bold brash yang energy of the male workshops that get you all pumped up and ready to break free of the astral gravity holding your ass in the chair in front of the TV. But we also all NEED the gentle beauty of yin energy in the female workshops to get you to really connect with your life force energy.

*Full disclosure, I confess, this post was written mainly for myself, as a reminder to not see my male counterparts as more successful because they are louder and brighter and seem to have more engagement and to quit trying to tailor suits for my womanly shape.

 

~Jade

Jade Willow Song is an Intuitive Qi Therapist who works with individuals seeking healing, clarity and guidance on their life path by facilitating transformational experiences. 

Jade serves others with her experience and education in metaphysics, crystal healing, Reiki, Therapeutic Touch, QiGong, guided visualization and meditation. In addition, Jade is an ordained minister with the Universal Life Church.

Jade holds a Bachelor’s in Social Work as well as certifications in Reiki and Therapeutic Touch. 

Is This You Or Someone You Know?

Does anyone ever feel like they’re just not meant for this life? I know how blessed I am. I live in a developed country, I have a family, friends, a house, animals who I adore and a job. Everything people who are less fortunate would die for. But I’m still not happy. I feel so forced. I just want to be running wild and free, a natural woman, with animals and living off the land. I don’t want the troubles of money, the social media, the modern life. Is that really even natural for humans? Is anyone really comfortable living like this or is it just something we have to accept because everyone else does. My head hurts because it just can’t cope with what society wants from me  ☹️” ~Woman A
“Im with you! Feels so pointless and empty at times. On my good days [I’m trying to] work towards a more fulfilling life but am not really sure how to get there or if its worth it etc etc. Its is society not us thats wrong, take each day as it comes is all you can do. Stay strong we will get there…x Woman B in response to woman A
“Can I ask for guidance again? My mother wasn’t the warmest individual growing up. She’s someone multiple therapists have told me to cut out of my life, even if it’s just until I’m stronger. I’ve gone through much of my adult life in an off and on relationship with her because of her controlling nature. When I was a child I was often compared to other children and asked why I can’t be like someone else’s kid or why their kid, who’s “slow” (her words, not mine) would be doing better than me. I was locked in closets, kicked out of the house at night, told she wished I wasn’t hers, which didn’t end until 7th grade…”~Woman C

Is this you or someone you know? This is just a sampling of what I’ve been hearing lately. We as woman have suffered under patriarchy. That is not a feminist or anti-masculine thing. We can only survive in a balanced society and this is NOT that!

This feeling, THIS longing, THIS UNSETTLING is why the Healing Rite of Passage was created. Men and woman are invited to join in the Feminine Rising that this will be. Its not male bashing and it isn’t ‘woman stuff’ it is just a connecting to the feminine yin energies that have been ignored for centuries now. We need to connect to Mother Earth AND Father Sky. To Grandmother Moon AND Grandfather Sun. We can ONLY be our highest selves, live the highest version of our lives and have the grandest experiences when we are balanced in masculine and feminine energies.

We HAVE to heal the wounds of the past that keep harming us. You don’t know how to ‘get there’ because no one taught you to look inside yourself. And you can’t do it with the eyes that society has taught you to look through. It has set you up to fail.

There is SO much you can do to get so much more out of life! I can help you unlearn everything you’ve learned that is actually getting in your way. You have to go deeper than just meditating and gratitude journalling. You have to unravel all the manipulative programming EGOS set in play. You have learn the truth about how the Universe works by understanding and working WITH (not against) the three Universal Laws and their seven principles.

Universal Laws

Take a step today and reserve your spot or contact Jade Willow Song for more information, right now!

When: September 16 & 17, 2017
Where: Waterford, Michigan
Early Bird Registration: $500*
Registration after September 1, 2017: $675*

For Tickets: https://squareup.com/store/judy-klemos

Recommended affordable nearby accommodations: http://www.oldemillinnofclarkston.com/

*Introductory prices only- 2018 prices are $675 and $800

Healing Rite of Passage Retreat/Workshop

58957_1451367004156_1754294_n“I ate once. It didn’t work. I was hungry again in a couple of hours.” 

You never hear anyone saying that, do you? But ask about meditation, or yoga or journalling and that is a very common answer. 

Body, Mind and Spirit…that’s what we are. We are a carefully constructed mechanism made up of these three compartments. Without any one of these we cease to exist. 

REALLY. Think about that for a minute. 

It is pretty clear when your body is hungry for food or thirsty for water. You then have the choice of what to provide; healthy food and pure water or junk food and pop. You feed it and then what? You have to do it again a couple hours later. 

Your body also hungers for air and that is one you cannot ignore at all. Again, it is a constant give and take, not a one and done deal.

Your body also hungers for movement, but that’s subtle and easier to ignore than the need for food or water. Those into physical fitness know that regular exercise is necessary for a healthy body…none of them ever expect one workout to be enough. When you ignore the need for movement, you start experiencing more symptoms of aging and physical breakdown. 

Do you see where I’m going with this, yet?

Your mind also has needs. It hungers for new information to process, good books to read, interesting studies and, of course, fulfilling work. It isn’t enough for you to just intake new goodness, but its important to share as well with others in good conversations, social settings and a job that allows you to teach or share something. 

When you try to ignore this aspect of yourself, it looks like addiction: binge watching TV, pharmaceuticals, recreational drugs, sex, smoking, shopping, etc…

Your spirit also has needs. Your spirit is the energetic body and it hungers for connection and love. It is the part of you that makes you, ‘You’. It is by far the ‘easiest’ to ignore but with the most detrimental of consequences.

When you ignore this aspect of yourself it shows up as depression, anxiety, idiopathic chronic dis-ease, drug abuse, alcoholism, cancer, etc…

Notice with the body and mind that there are things we do DAILY to nourish and replenish them: exercise, hygiene, sleep, food, water, work, entertainment, even education.

But, for some, spirit is expected to exist on merely one hour, one day a week of nourishment! 

There is no doubt that the body is more fragile than the mind or the spirit, which is why there are such clear cues as to when it needs to be fed, watered or aired. Yet, still a person whose spirit is considerably neglected will develop things like anorexia or suicidal ideation which is counter intuitive (and overrides the desire) for physical survival. 

Ok so now, over the course of your life, how much time has been dedicated to the care and feeding of your spirit compared to your body and mind? 

Get a calendar, I’ll wait…

We both know over the course of your life you have neglected your spirit far more than you have neglected your mind and your body, right?


Not saying you haven’t neglected them too, but by and large most people neglect their spirit most of all. 

As I said, the spirit is the energetic body of the body/mind/spirit combo, therefore whatever happens to the body and mind affects the spirit and vice verse. When we experience trauma, grief, or other emotional pain we experience it in all three aspects, but again it is usually just the body and mind that get the attention for healing. This means that there are all kinds of leftovers in our spirit refrigerator that need clearing out. 

Again, this is not a one and done thing. Even when we think we’ve processed effectively, every time we think about the event and it brings up emotions in response we are re-experiencing the event and therefore causing more harm that needs to be healed. We are calling back the energy of that event and storing it in our energetic body.

This is why The Healing Rite of Passage Retreat/Workshop promises to be one of the most important things you will ever do for your body, mind AND spirit. 

  • You will learn how to access your energetic body and clear out blockages and heal wounds. 
  • You will learn new communication techniques that allow you to speak from your spirit and not your ego. 
  • You will develop new relationships with like-minded journeyers. 
  • You will have the experience of living from your spirit for two days. 
  • You will experience shamanic healing.
  • You will experience facilitating healing for others.
  • You will experience a lightness of body, mind and spirit as you release what no longer serves you. 
  • …and so so SO much more.

And after the closing ceremony your life will never be the same (unless you choose it to be so).

A rite of passage, by definition, is a ceremony or event marking an important stage in someone’s life. If you are ready for the past to be the past, to release old relationships and wounds, or just take the opportunity to give your spirit the intensive care it needs, then you need to reserve your spot in our Transformation Circle today. 

When: September 16 & 17, 2017
Where: Waterford, Michigan
Early Bird Registration: $500
Registration after September 1, 2017: $675

For tickets: https://squareup.com/store/judy-klemos

Recommended affordable nearby accommodations

http://www.oldemillinnofclarkston.com/