Healing Rites of Passage

This endeavors to be one of the most significant pieces I have yet to write. The task seems daunting as I sit here with a blank screen. Yet emotions flood my heart and thoughts are whirring through my mind. I just can’t seem to figure out how to get it all out in a comprehensive way. I want to do it justice…

As far back as I can remember other females have comprised the majority of bullies in my life. Not all, mind you, but most.

My first real taste of Sisterhood came in college, as I attended an all women’s college in Minnesota. To be sure, there were times of cattiness, betrayal and moments of hurt, but they were isolated incidents instigated by wounded individuals. As a whole, this group of women stood together and provided the container that supported the greatest changes in me up until that point. I still feel supported by them to this day.

When I entered the workforce I expected the same experience, but nothing could be further from the truth. From the first job, I experienced women who would be my undoing and learned that men were a commodity women would lie, steal and cheat to have. That their insecurities would be cause for my demise, rather than their own self-improvement.

I found myself aligning with men, only to have most of them exploit that. Not all, mind you, but most. This left me feeling insecure, vulnerable and isolated.

Hence I became anti-social and a loner. I craved the connection with women like that I experienced in college. Again and again I was disappointed and often targeted.

Here and there over the years, I would find a friend that proved to be what I was looking for, but even some of those dissolved into nothingness as insecurity, men or other women degraded the quality.

And one friend here and there isn’t enough.

Not for any of us. We are better than that. Even our uteruses know it, as they sync with each other over time. Our bodies are connected because we are of One. The males are not like that. We are unique. We are not separate. We are not meant to fight one another. We are meant to hold hands and join our hearts. We are not meant for animosity. We are built for union.

Now I know when I find a woman with her claws out, that she is in discord and needs my support, not my defensiveness. I do not need to stand within striking distance, but neither do I need to strike.

She is in enough pain.

How do I know? Because the woman in the mirror showed me. The woman in the mirror sees her own scars, the ones no one else can see, but bleed invisible blood all over the nice blouse that covers her chest. The woman in the mirror reveals every scar, scab, blemish, and wound. Who could be joyful with that image every morning?

For many years that woman in the mirror ruined my own mornings, leaving me scarred and scared for the day. Waiting for the next punch or for someone to pull the proverbial chair out from under me. Learning to see that woman in the eyes of others, helped me to understand them a little better.

That woman over there? The one who just drew blood from another? She’s dying. Her heart is shriveling and her spirit is broken. Chances are, like me, her bullies have been women too and she’s grown distrustful like a scared beaten dog prone to lunging. Like that dog I want to take home to care for, I must allow that wounded woman to find her own way to me, because any quick movement towards her will be seen as aggression.

We can’t turn on one another, nor can we allow anyone to pit us against one another; not men, not bosses, not politicians, not society and not other women. We must remember we are all queens and behave as such. We are the commodity of value! WE are! Do not let anyone separate us by race, religion, education, socioeconomic status, vocation, size, skin color or standards of beauty! Stand united! No matter what!

If you are in competition with your sister, see how you can raise one another up, not beat one another down. If you have something uncomfortable to say to your sister, say it from love, not insecurity or jealousy. Speak to heal, not to wound.

Sisterhood is a sacred art lost decades ago, because of those intimidated by the power of it. A ‘weaker sex’ myth was created…and we bought it. We bought it hook line and sinker. We bowed to the patriarchy, or rather the bastardization of patriarchy, because real patriarchs would never discount, dismiss or disgrace the matriarch.

No woman need take up with another woman’s partner. A partner who would take up with another woman, deserves neither. A woman needs to have enough confidence to walk away when she is being devalued in such a way. Not because a mistake was made, but because of the lack of character in her partner. A woman who knowingly takes up with a partner who is attached to another woman needs to understand she is devaluing herself as well as her sister. No woman need strike another woman down to raise herself up.

Only wounded sisters do those things.

In business we need to be mindful of deception and illusion meant to use women to exploit other women. We need to support the young minds coming up and invest in the future of the Feminine in all ways. We need to stand ready to stand up for our sister when she is too tired to stand herself.

We need to celebrate when our sister shines, because when our sister shines, we shine all the brighter. Her success is not our failure! It is our success too! Her Light does not diminish ours in anyway!

It is the Sisterhood that holds the only promise of healing the deep wounds of our world.  It is the Sisterhood that will raise us up out of this bastardized patriarchal structure we’ve been imprisoned in.

The Sisterhood is inclusive. It welcomes all women of every corner of the world. It welcomes all those who identify as women without judgement. And it welcomes those men who share its values and support it.

It does not discriminate in any way. It does not judge, disgrace or devalue its members. It is not jealous. It raises each member up to his or her highest form.

It is in Sisterhood that we will truly come to know the full extent of our power for just as our bodies sync, so too do our Spirits!

I love you.

Your Sister,

Jade