Keto WOE vs Keto DIET

Let me first start out by saying this was supposed to be a private thing. This was written for two Facebook support groups. One called “Push For Your Better” and the other “Ketogenic Diet – motivation group”. It was denied approval by both groups. I am disgusted and will be leaving them both. Or maybe not, maybe when you are done reading you can explain to me why this would not be approved. *edit So, it appears that the link to my blog is the problem with the post and why it was not approved. In fact, it got me essentially kicked out of a third group. 

My Keto Friends,

I have been watching, mostly from the sidelines, as I traversed my own Keto journey. Lately I have been feeling overwhelmed by the emotions behind the posts ‘I’ve been doing Keto since _______ and have only lost ___ pounds’. Some are super heartbreaking, in that they have been doing it a long time with proportionately little loss. While others seem to be skewed, being on the protocol a few weeks with what I would deem a proportionately significant weight loss.

This has been haunting me.

Why? Well, let me share a bit about myself so you can get the clearest picture. I am a Life Enhancement Specialist. I am an energy healer with a 30 year career of social work to go with it. What that means is I’ve taken all the experience from my years working with humans in their worst moments and combined it with my equally as long career of metaphysical healing work (sacred work) to facilitate opportunities of growth and healing for others. I help people connect what is going on with their bodies to what is going on in their mind and heart.

I have struggled with weight issues since I was 24 and started on birth control. I’ve struggled with body image issues though since I was 15, 5’2” and 115# when the doctor said, before even looking at me, “So, I see you’re carrying a little extra weight.” Though not particularly athletic, I had an athletic build. He changed his tune after examining me, but the seed was planted and took root.

I am a hippie-dippie, gypsy, tree-hugging, lie naked under the moon, health conscious, holistic, naturpathic and homeopathic woman of 53 years. I know that the physical body is only mirroring the emotional and energetic bodies. I have worked on my internal stuff religiously and openly, while assisting others on their path of healing. None of this work helped me lose weight, though. Not that I intended it to, but do you remember the time when the big tag line was ‘it’s not what you’re eating, it’s what’s eating you’?

Well, sometimes it’s not.

Sometimes it is the food you are eating. Which is where I am now. Learning how the ‘healthy’ way of eating that we were taught, and that I’ve been following religiously, has made me sick. It started in January 2018, when I learned about the Whole30 protocol. I went 42 days. I only lost 10 pounds, but I also lost ‘Fibromyalgia’. Since day 21 I have not had a single Fibro symptom! FOOD! Food was the cause, but no doctor ever even suggested that could be an issue. They just offered me pills.

I stayed true to Whole30 for the next three months. I added back what I really wanted to, and what didn’t seem to affect me. Despite this by June I had only lost two more pounds. Something was still not right. Then I found Ketogenic. I was grateful for the Whole30 start because switching to Keto was a breeze. I had rid myself of most of the carbs and addictions by then. It was just a matter of letting go of the sweet potatoes and the high amount of veggies I was eating. Plus I got to add back in dairy, which I had missed. Easy.

Still the weight loss has been slow. It even prompted me to write about it in my blog, finally. The scale is not my friend. Everyone is different but the stories of rapid weight loss were weighing on me (pun intended). I didn’t get on the scale often but that almost made it worse, because I would think ‘after this long the scale must have moved a lot!’ It hadn’t, yet I was fitting into clothes that I was originally wearing at a lower weight. I found myself disappointed, de-motivated and ready to give up. But I don’t allow giving up, so that caused me to once again look inside.

Why was an arbitrary number holding so much value for me? I delved into it and wrote about that, here https://willowsongmedicine.wordpress.com/2018/09/08/its-not-about-the-diet-its-about-life/

What I realized is that I put more value in the number on that scale than the myriads of other evidence showing me that this is a resonant path for me. It revealed my dependence on external validation. It was a huge breakthrough for me. If you have the time, read the post. It was really powerful for me.

So, that brings me back to today and why I think so many of your ‘I’ve only lost____pounds….’ posts are haunting me.

This is a way of eating (WOE). It is not a diet. I see a lot of you saying that, but you aren’t living it. If you are relying on the scale for validation of a job well done, then regardless of what you say, you are looking at this as a diet. If you are looking at your life and seeing validation of a job well done in many places, then you are truly seeing it as a way of eating. Does that make sense?

It isn’t the scale or the protocol that is in question, its your perspective (which is developed from your programming.)

Our bodies, our minds and our spirits are intertwined. You can’t fix one and expect the others to magically align. You have to work on them all simultaneously. If you are looking for a scale ‘high’ to replace the ‘high’ from carbs/sugar you aren’t addressing the real issue…your need for a ‘high’. That’s addictive behavior. The need to see fast results (whatever ‘fast’ means to you) instead of realizing you are just doing something good for yourself. That’s a dependence on immediate gratification; the underlying premise of addiction.

When you are accepting a new way of eating you are changing your whole lifestyle to a more mindful experience. Without that awareness you are just doing a fad diet.

You are doing yourself a disservice if you are not doing your inside work along with the Keto WOE. I believe that it is those who do not do both sides of the work that gain the weight back or struggle the most (going off and on, can’t get back on etc.)

So there it is. My thoughts today. I hope they help.

*end

So, now this becomes a full on blog post rather than a little group post. Which is me being extremely transparent and breathing big. 

I love you. 

~Jade

 

It Always Comes Down To Choice

There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle. ~Albert Einstein

This simple quote affected me in quite a magnanimous way. Suddenly, everything made sense. It all comes down to what we choose to see.

Today I was in Meijer, grocery shopping. I’ve had a stress-filled couple of days including 9 hours in the car. I didn’t feel like showering or putting on make-up but we needed food. So, I threw on a tank top, some yoga pants and ran a brush through my hair.

As I walked through the store, I noticed how my body is moving differently. With all the foods I’ve eliminated, the inflammation in my body is also being eliminated. I notice muscles that seem to have been too paralyzed to move before. I notice how I walk differently, using different muscles, standing straighter…feeling straighter.

As I gathered the items needed I was also creating a recipe in my head. A roasted garlic cheese dip, to be exact. I hadn’t found a recipe that sounded quite right, so I’m creating it in my head as I shop, hoping it will be finished so I can gather all the ingredients.

One of the things I love about Michigan is the people are so nice here. More noticeably so than anywhere else I’ve been. I love making eye contact, smiling and exchanging greetings. Everyone this morning seemed to be particularly engaging.

I was walking through the store, with my recipe creating in my head and also thinking how really awesome Life is, and how the Universal Laws are always in effect…even if you don’t believe they exist. I had such deep gratitude and admiration for how things have shown up at my life, at just the right time as I’ve become more in alignment. All pieces have to be in place in just the right order for them to be most effective. But the beautiful thing is, you don’t have to know what that order is, you just have to work on your alignment and they fall into place!

Everything in Divine Timing. You might want to work on one thing, not realizing that something else, or multiple things, need to be aligned before that original thing.  It might be months or even years before that thing sees results, which can be disheartening if you aren’t paying attention to all the other issues coming into alignment.

The past 4 years I’ve been on a roll, even though it hasn’t felt like it. This year though it is quite evident, and I can see exactly why events needed to take place exactly as they have. Exactly.

Back to Meijer…as I was standing in the baking aisle, attempting to find sugar free chocolate chips with no artificial sweeteners, it happened. One of those crystal clear revelations. I was standing, staring at the shelves of baking chips, when this woman interrupts me to tell me about this great mixed nut find she uses as an alternative to other nuts for baking crusts.

She just started talking to me. She didn’t ask me a question about what I was looking for or what I was baking. She just offered her expertise. I found myself wondering why she chose me to reveal this secret to. I have no interest in this information at this point. I’m not even looking at the nuts.

And then I thought, “I’m really glad that I am someone with whom others want to share their experience. I’m glad she felt comfortable sharing this with me.” She was brief, didn’t take up much of my time (though time surely slowed down for all this awareness to happen.)

And in that moment, I realized I had made a choice.

I could have been annoyed or I could be grateful.

I was crystal clear on that moment when someone makes that choice. It was as if I was out of my body watching the whole encounter.

Is this one of the surprising side effects to being in alignment? It’s so strong that others are compelled to engage with you? As an empath I’ve always been someone with whom others share personal stuff rather easily, but it hasn’t always been healthy. I remember once, being trapped by a woman in a Kohl’s bathroom because she had positioned herself between me and the door and wouldn’t stop telling me about her life problems. My friend actually came to find me and pull me out after a half hour of waiting for me. But this doesn’t feel like that. This feels like something else altogether. This feels magical. It feels like a reward; sweet, kind and without boundary violations.

Life is an illusion of our own creation. That’s it. In a nutshell. You can either paint with all the colors of the pallet or stick with brown and black. It’s completely up to you. Everyone gets the same pallet, but a different canvas; it’s up to you to choose what colors go on that canvas.

monochrome photography of frames
Photo by Jimmy Chan on Pexels.com

My friends used to call me the Queen of Reframing…and I am, I suppose. Have you ever picked out a piece of unframed art? You fall in love with this piece on canvas and then begin looking for the right frame to really bring out the parts you love about the piece. The frame changes your experience of that painting. The right frame can turn a simple insignificant piece of art into a masterpiece. Of course, the opposite is also true. It can completely ruin a piece and make it undesirable. 

Framing is an art.

So (as it so often is in my writings) it is in life. At any point we have the choice of which frame to put on a particular painting.

When I get up every morning I choose the types of frame at my disposal. So when that lady approached me in the grocery store, it wasn’t random. That frame is in my energy field which communicated a resonance with her. This is how she knew it was safe to share with me. I walk through my life with that energy following me, preceding me and surrounding me.

The really beautiful thing is that it has a blossoming effect. You start with the mindset…that choice of frame. That leads to an improved vibration which feels good. This goes out into your energy field and resonates with other like-vibing things (people and events), which draws them to you. These improved experiences resonate with you on a higher vibe which feels good and improves your mindset. You then respond with an even higher vibration and the cycle starts all over again.

This is how it works. Life. It’s what people mean when they say you get back what you give out. It isn’t about usurping the natural process of life that ebbs and flows. It is about maximizing those flows and managing those ebbs, though.

It is how you make the most of life.

And that is where I shall leave you for today. In the very magical place of choice.

I love you.

~Jade

 

 

It’s Not About The Diet, It’s About Life

I’ve had the shiftiest week.

It started with swimmer’s ear. Look, I walk the walk. I’m not just going to point out that your left knee pain is connected to your ability to easily move in your Femininity; Or that your relationship with your brother is causing the pain in your right shoulder, only to then totally ignore (or hide) my own right sided ear ache! I walk my talk, my friends.

After nearly 6 years of living with and trying to manage Fibromyalgia, my persistence paid off and I have been asymptomatic since doing the Whole30 protocol (January 2018) and discovering precisely how my body reacts to certain foods. Through that process I relieved myself of every single ‘fibromyalgia’ symptom, additional hip pain, migraines, daily headaches and wheezing. Oh yeah, I lost a few pounds too. I did not get the ‘energy’ that most people talked about, though.

Five more months of living fairly close to the guidelines, yielded no more weight loss and no energy surge. It was then I was introduced to the Ketogenic diet. Now, normally I stay away from anything at all with the word ‘diet’ in it. I am not a quick fix girl. Clearly. Or I would’ve opted for the Lyrica that the doctors wanted me on for my fibromyalgia (although I did try it and it was no ‘fix’ at all.)

Backstory note: One of the basic premises of my life is, and has always been, ‘there is no problem without a solution’. I may not always like the solution, but there is always a solution. So, no matter how long a problem goes on, I never ever give up on finding that solution. I know that when I am in the right vibration, that solution will present itself. 

So, that said, I am not into quick fix diets, but I am also one to listen to the Universe when it speaks to me. It spoke to me about Whole30 and look how that turned out! So, time and time again I was running into this ‘Keto’ thing. Finally, a woman friend I respect a great deal told me of her struggles and her resulting triumph with Keto. She referred me to a Netflix documentary called, “The Magic Pill”. (I honestly resisted watching it based on the title alone!) But since the Universe had gone out of its way to put all these pieces together for me, I opted to watch. I’m really glad I did. If you haven’t watched it, take some time and do so. It was well done and informative. It makes a lot of sense, to me.

And so I began my Keto journey.

But this isn’t about the diet, its about life, so just hang with me here while I get there. I have struggled with weight issues since I was 24, when I got the Depo Provera shot for birth control. If you learn nothing else from this piece, let it be to never mess with your hormones! I would spend the next 29 years paying the price, until a solution (perhaps not thee solution) would show up.

The ever supportive medical community literally told me to ‘eat more veggies and push away from the table‘, while my friends empathized with me because they knew how ‘healthy‘ I ate. I say ‘healthy’ because as it turns out, what has been deemed healthy eating in the dietary guidelines by the Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, isn’t actually healthy for me.

Now, I am heading to my third month on Keto. I have not been perfect. However, those slips have given me vital information that now fuel my drive for success. I can see with my eyes, in photos, what foods are doing to me almost immediately. I don’t need to rely on a scale for feedback. Which brings me to one point of this piece: External Validation.

While I focus primarily on NSV (non-scale victories) I still wished very much for the number on the scale to go down. I’m not doing this for the weight loss. I am doing this because the weight gain is a symptom of some imbalance that was created nearly 3 decades ago. Losing weight would be super awesome, but until I get that inner balance achieved it won’t mean a thing, even if the scale moves downward.

After the period of slippage from the Keto path, I weighed myself and despite doing really well before that slippage, the scale had not moved at all. I don’t weigh myself regularly, so it isn’t like I had a weekly weight to gage by. No, I weighed myself, then started Keto, then weighed one week later, then two weeks of ‘good’, then three weeks of ‘bad’ and then one week of ‘good’ and then weighed again. So, you see, it was super not helpful at all. Too bad I didn’t figure that out before I stepped on the scale. It was exactly where it had been after that first week. And I was so disappointed.

Not ‘give up’ disappointed. Just the opposite, I was fueled by it. More determined to ‘do this perfectly’ (which has its own set of land mines, to be sure). I was really hard on myself for not being stronger of will during that period of time.

Then it hit me. This is the ultimate experience of contrast. This shows me exactly what isn’t working for me, therefore narrowing down what does. Ok, good. That’s point two of this article (yes, I’m still working on disclosing point one, you haven’t missed it.) We can’t know what doesn’t work for us, unless we feel how it doesn’t work for us. We need to internalize the experience to really ‘get it’. I was gaining valuable information specific to me, not a diet, about how food reacts in my system. Ok, so I stopped being hard on myself, but remain fueled to use this information to continue to narrow in on what is healthy for me.

I made a vow not to get on the scale again until January 1, 2019 because every once in awhile I noticed the feeling of disappointment still lingering regarding the scale not moving downward.

I didn’t know how powerful that vow would become.

I stayed focused and re-experienced all the original NSVs; increased energy, better sleep, faster healing from scrapes, less bruising, clothes fitting better and even some too big and most visible of all, less bloating and puffiness. I was getting really really excited by it all. I even began swimming again daily, which is not something I’ve done in forever. I was feeling downright magical! In fact, I was feeling so good I wanted to see what the scale said!

But I made a vow. And I always keep my vows.

So, I stayed off the scale. Still that lingering disappointment niggle would find its way into my thoughts. I found myself eager for vindication! While it was easy enough to tell it to shove off because I made a vow, the curious part of me – the part that walks my talk – wanted to explore this persistent niggle. (How long will it take to get to point one, I wonder?) Why with all the other evidence of benefit that this way of eating was showing me, did I feel the need to see the scale?

And then it hit me…external validation (oh there’s that point one!) So the question became, ‘why with all the other evidence of benefit did I need the scale to validate my success?’

Man that hit me head on. Why did I need any other validation than what I’d already received? The weight was and is only one small symptom, yet it is the one I feel most judged by, I suppose. So, I guess it’s the one I’d like to see remedied the quickest so that I can be validated -or rather- my efforts can be validated.

Now, to drive home that point one!

Then I realized this wasn’t about the diet at all. It’s about Life. This is how it is throughout Life, with self-development. Often the changes we make on the inside aren’t enough for us. We want to see external results of them quickly. We want empirical evidence of how we are feeling. In addition, we often cycle…we make changes internally and we recognize their benefits immediately, we feel better, then slide back into old habits, realize how truly terrible that feels within us, get back on track and then still look for external validation of our efforts.

Isn’t that the foundation of ‘The Secret’ and all other ‘manifesting’ programs? That you make a change inside to solicit a change on the outside. Yet, my research, experience and teachings all reflect that to make a change inside with the purpose to achieve a specific desired outcome, is a mutually exclusive construct because you are actually efforting to change something outside yourself, which is impossible. This is manipulation. “I will change myself so that someone/thing else will be different” with the unspoken end to that being “and then I’ll be happy.”

Instead, the motivation for change must be for the change you are making itself. “I will change myself because that change resonates with me.” Everything else then is a side effect. It could be a pleasurable side effect like increased health or wealth. Or it could be an unpleasant side effect like a break up or job loss. Yet even those unpleasant side effects usually end up revealing very pleasant pay offs (isn’t it ‘wealth’ to be rid of soul sucking relationships and jobs?)

So, my needing the scale to validate my health efforts is like looking at my bank account to validate my abundance mindset. Its not healthy. Its a need for external validation. Remember when I said up there that until that inner balance is achieved it won’t mean a thing, even if the scale went down?  Well, the same is true here. Until that inner balance is achieved it won’t mean a thing, even if my bank account went up. The need for an external validation, is a need to use a measure deemed valid by society to measure myself against. Which means that there is programming within me, still running, that says ‘my own experience isn’t enough validation’.

Oh, how fucking powerful that one is. (Pardon my language, Aunt Dorothy!)

Really, I had to sit down for that one. The shift was so powerful and immediate that I was light-headed for a couple of minutes! Those are life changing moments, you know? When something hits you that hard, you know you hit a root. I knew immediately, precisely when that premise was sealed for me too.

I have always been empathic, intuitive and ‘touchy feely’. However, my father was not wired that way and demanded logic to everything. I remember distinctly when I finally ‘got’ that my way wasn’t the ‘right’ way, in his eyes. We were in Minnesota visiting two College campuses. I had spent the first night on the College of St. Teresa campus where I was given a room and a Big Sister, a full tour, dinner with Big Sister and her friends, invitation to partake in activities, etc. I was really made to feel at home and loved it. I didn’t really want to visit St. Mary’s after that, but my parents thought it pertinent to keep our plans.

I had an awful experience at St. Mary’s. I was given a brief tour after which I was left on my own for the rest of the night…dinner in the cafeteria, tv in the lounge and sit in the empty room with pipes that banged mercilessly. It was ghastly. I never felt so disregarded in my life. Talk about an experience of contrast! In a span of 48 hours I had the experience of exactly what I wanted and exactly what I didn’t!

In the morning when my parents picked me up and asked how it was I told them I hated it. I gave them a detailed description of my night, at the end of which my father asked which school I would prefer. I would’ve thought it would be obvious. CST hands down. “Why?” he asked. Had he not listened to a word I said? “I just told you. It was a horrible experience. They don’t seem to care about me.” To which he replied, “That’s not a reason.”

He continued to grill me for reasons that satisfied him. He pushed me to the point of hysterical crying.

Yup. That right there was the cement that sealed the deal on the premise ‘my own experience is not enough validation’. Basically what went down was I said ‘it doesn’t resonate with me‘ and he said ‘that’s not valid‘.

When in fact, it turns out, it is the only validation that matters!!!

And of course, every premise has a counter balance that is automatically instilled as well. Which means, if  ‘it doesn’t resonate with me‘ isn’t valid then neither is ‘it resonates with me‘. So the whole thing boils down to this ‘my feelings are not valid’ which leaves one vulnerable to a whole lot of exploitation.

See, I told ya…its been a shifty week!

So that’s why I was negating all the benefits I felt from my change in eating and looking to validate them with reason (aka the scale).

And then I realized how often this same premise shows up in my self-development work. How often I am looking to validate my success with a big client roster, my expertise with references, my effectiveness with financial gain.

All external references. Reasons to prove that the risks I’ve taken and the choices I’ve made are valid. Internally, I have all the empirical evidence I need to know that living by resonance rather than reason works and that I have the skills to help others apply it to their lives too.

Just like I don’t need a scale to tell me I am doing right by my body…

So it is on the Spiritual journey as well.

I kept looking at where I still wasn’t (instead of where I’d been) for validation, devaluing all the gains because they were not what I had planned. That’s when I realized the similarity between how we feed our bodies and how we feed our souls.

It works the same way. When we feed the body junk food (junk to our own body, not necessarily junk by dietary guidelines) it weighs us down; and when we feed the Soul junk food it too weighs us down in the form of depression, addiction, sadness etc. Can you feel how ‘heavy’ those energies are?

Then when we seek to make a change, those changes motivated by resonance rather than specific desired outcome (reason) will have lasting results rather than quick fix schemes that are short lived. For example, a mindset shift rather than simply thinking positive thoughts. A new way of eating rather than a weight loss diet.

Do you see the correlation? Everything in nature is laid out for us as a sort of guide map of how to get the most out of this life. There are hints everywhere in nature. From the rivers flowing into the oceans to the bears hibernation. There are messages and hints like one giant scavenger hunt, with each of us having our own set of instructions that lead to the same place, Heaven (but not the colloquial type of Heaven).

The state of Heaven on Earth that resides in us all (but that’s for another post).

Now, back to the third point of this lengthy writing, that I actually mentioned first; the right-sided ear ache. Not only are there examples in nature to give us clues on how things work in the Universe, we also receive very specific-to-us messages by way of events, dis-ease and dis-orders. In short, our bodies are also telling us what is up and giving us validation, or invalidation to be more accurate.

Since resolving the fibromyalgia, I have had back to back underlying issues to resolve that I believe were caused by the constant state of inflammation I was in. The inflammation causing other damage. So, I’ve been patient with my body attending to its every communication. These past two months it had been a left hip and left shoulder issue that ran me to try Rolfing for the first time. This actually exacerbated the hip pain as things were put back into place and one last piece remained woefully out of place. This was fixed with one visit to the chiropractor and one session with my beloved energy healing group.

I had begun swimming because it initially seemed to relieve some of that hip pain before the chiropractor visit. I absolutely adore swimming and after so many years of not moving so freely, being in the water again was like being reborn a mermaid. The activity is active meditation for me and the benefits are so numerous. Far above ‘just good exercise’, but that’s another post.

I was so excited to be feeling this good that I neglected to consider swimmer’s ear. I’d had it a couple of times and it was quite easily remediable, so perhaps that’s why. I had been swimming almost 5 times a week for three weeks with no issue, until last week when I ‘had to swim’ as a coping mechanism because I was confronted with a current situation that is tied to my past marriage. I knew swimming would make me feel better, so I dove right in (see what I did there?)

In the meantime, I was processing this current event with a friend of mine who suggested that I needed to allow the assistance of the masculine energy in this situation. This required some thought from me. Yes, I could feel my reluctance at accepting this help. This goes back to the days when I was taught that it was weak to ask for help. But I was over that wasn’t I? Apparently not. Accepting masculine assistance. Ah, yes, I can see how there is resistance there…

The very next day I began to feel fatigued and a slight pain in the ear. The following day when it became a little worse, I used the stand-by alcohol/vinegar mix. Getting worse. Then the garlic olive oil mix. Worse. Tea tree oil. Worse. On and on this went. I made trips to the health food store for ear candling and homeopathic drops. Not worse but only better for a short time.

I delved right into analyzing the ear situation. What had made this right ear vulnerable to such attack? Right ear = masculine. Ok, gotcha. We talked about this masculine energy, right? Ear = hearing. What am I not listening to? Good lord! When I am I not listening??!! I can’t possibly listen to anything else or I quite simply will not be able to function in society! That cannot be it. It can’t be anything I am not hearing, either, because that is another way to look at it. I mean really, I have made myself annoying to others going on about listening and hearing etc.

So, I dug deeper into the actual way the ear works, to find my answer. Since this is already the longest post I’ve ever made, you can find a half hour video with those details, on Facebook

Simply put, the ear symbolized, not hearing or listening so much as, receiving vibration. And in this case inflammation was blocking my ability to receive vibrations and inhibit the translation of sound. Since this came on the day after the revelation of my resistance to receiving masculine assistance, it is a side effect of growth (inflammation is expansion, is it not?) Sometimes inflammation is a sign of infection, sometimes expansion…in the metaphysical realm that is. This would explain perfectly, why the more healthy I became emotionally and spiritually, the more I sick I became physically. (Because I was becoming more and more physically sensitive, as I became spiritually and emotionally sensitive.)

It takes a lot of self-knowledge and living by resonance, not reason, to figure these things out.

So there ya go. There’s my shifty week.

It’s not about a diet, or how much you weigh, or how much is in your bank account, or how many likes you get on Facebook. It’s about living by resonance and not by reason. You can be logical, that’s a great quality to have, but never ever let logic rule you. You are equipped with a system that tells you when you are doing right by you and when you are not. This is your resonance. Never ever let anyone convince you that you need to justify those feelings with reason. Sometimes there are no words to explain it if you wanted to.

Know that the most important changes you ever make, may be ones that no one ever notices. And that’s ok. You’ll know and that is all that matters.

I love you.

~Jade

 

 

Victim Mindset

Overcoming one’s traumas and the victim identity can be a tricky thing.

While we tend to think of victim thinking as ‘poor me’ thinking, that is only one type. Victim thinking can take many forms.

Think about trauma like conquering a mountain. The midst of the trauma is tantamount to scaling the mountain . You are at the mercy of the mountain. The mountain and your survival is what consumes you. Every step you take, every decision you make is because of the mountain. At any moment the mountain could claim your life. Your whole goal is to get to the top alive. You suffer because of the mountain, therefore you are an active victim of the mountain.

One day you find yourself on top of the mountain! You are done scaling! You commemorate your victory by planting your flag and do a dance! You sit atop the mountain and look back on the terrain that you overcame and you celebrate it! Rightfully so! You still suffer the mountain though, so you are still a victim of the mountain…a surviving victim, but a victim, nonetheless.

Then comes the time to descend the mountain. Every decision you make is still dictated by the mountain, but things are easier now. You are working with gravity and using tools that make the decent much more rapid than the ascent. You are (re)covering the terrain of the mountain and understanding from a different vantage point just how daunting the task had been. You still suffer the mountain, so you are a recovering victim, but a victim nonetheless.

At the bottom of the mountain a transport waits to take you back to a little city in the foothills of the mountain, where you get a hot bath, sweet-smelling soaps, and a hot meal, as well as a clean bed to rest in. You stay here just long enough to regain your strength. You get the proper treatment to set your wounds and injuries on the right path to healing. You debrief as others ask you questions about your adventure and you relive the accomplishment while telling the tale. You rest and begin to rise again in the aftercare, but still you suffer the effects of the mountain so you are a recuperating victim, but a victim nonetheless.

After you are recuperated you discard the equipment that was damaged in the climb, pack up your gear and head off for home. A place far away from the mountain. In your new home you put up a picture of your victory moment and store away your survival gear. Your home is decorated with many aspects of yourself, but only one picture of your conquering Mt. Trauma. Initially, new people in your life will be curious about the picture on your mantel and they will ask about it. Or you might be in a coffee shop and in conversation about what you’ve been up to, you would naturally mention that you recently conquered Mt. Trauma. After some time, however, Mt. Trauma would not come up in general conversation and you are moving away from being any kind of victim of the mountain. You are a transcending victim.

Eventually, Mt. Trauma would just be a picture on your mantelpiece. Then one day that picture might go into a scrapbook and only be revisited once in a long while along with a lot of other memories. This is the point where you have truly conquered Mt. Trauma and are no longer its victim. You have transcended victimhood and become you’re own hero!

The whole process is necessary for complete healing. You can’t skip a step. You can’t jump from survivor to transcending. Coming down from the mountain, telling your story, getting loving support to recuperate and working through to establish a new norm are all vital in getting to transcendence.

If you get stuck on top of the mountain or in the foothills you are still a victim of the mountain. You cannot stay atop the mountain yelling about how you conquered it, and not still be its victim. You cannot take up residence in the cozy foothills, repeatedly telling your story and not still be its victim. You can’t decorate your house predominantly with pictures of Mt. Trauma, plaques that say you climbed Mt. Trauma and display your survival gear as wall decorations and not still be a victim of Mt. Trauma!

If your identity is centered around how you overcame the mountain, then you have become an inside out victim of the mountain.

What is an inside out victim?

It is someone who’s whole identity revolves around being a survivor. As we’ve discussed, a survivor is still a victim. Many of those in the helping professions, including motivational speakers and self-help phenomena are doing nothing more than glorifying the victim status by disguising it with cute little catch phrases. Continuing to highlight the fact that you were once a victim only serves to perpetuate the victim status. Much like you can’t not think of an elephant when someone tells you not to think of an elephant. They are relative terms. One does not exist without the other. You cannot hear ‘survivor’ without associating it with that of which you had once been an active victim. So even though labeling yourself a survivor sounds like a healthy thing to do, you are continuing to subject your subconscious to the victim dichotomy message.

When things in your past are taking up a lot of space in conversations in the present there is a problem. Inside out victims can often come up with some elaborate schemes to present as noble and healthy individuals. Often they put themselves on display where they can show off (without making it look like it) their success at overcoming their past, setting themselves up as an authority and “help” others overcome as they did. The problem with this is that the repeated retelling of their story is the indication that they have not transcended it at all. In fact, it would be my suggestion that this person never did the recovering and recuperating necessary to reach transcending. My thought is that they kept it deep down hidden, rarely talked about it, until they came across something that seemed to give them a pass straight to transcendence. It doesn’t work that way. There are no short cuts in living authentically and healthy.

This is not to disparage all self-help motivators. The most amazing ones can offer changes in perception so drastic that they change lives. These motivators rarely reveal their own past and when they do, it is mostly in snippets to establish credibility or connection with their client. They don’t advertise their story over and over. They don’t give you fancy terms to identify yourself. They give you real tools that enable you to live a well-lived life that don’t include looking at Mt. Trauma in the rearview mirror.

You may ask why looking at Mt. Trauma in the rearview mirror is not desirable. When do you look in your rearview mirror when you are driving? When you are backing up and when you need to see what is coming up from behind you. If you are moving straight ahead there is no need for a rearview mirror.

I love you.

~Jade

My Thoughts On Quitting

Its not an option.

I knew that going in.

I learned of Whole30 just about a month ago from a friend. I’ve been researching all sorts of healthy eating models for years…maybe even decades if I’m honest. I never did diet crazes. Avoid them like the plague. So, when she told me she and her daughter were going to do the Whole30 and I didn’t know what it was I started to research.

I had done Paleo, but I’m not sure I had all the right information, and I did not see any improvements in how I felt (did it as a remedy for fibromyalgia mostly), so I quit it within a month I’d say.

Somehow the commitment of 30 days before you make any judgements resonated strongly with me. “Look here, it is unrealistic to think things you’ve done for a lifetime can be affected in any less time than 30 days.” Simple, direct, to the point and accountable. My style.

I’m on Day 8 as of this writing.

As I go through this change, even though my eating wasn’t all that ‘unhealthy’ by general standards, I am learning SO much.

I am an Intuitive Qi Therapist, a modern day Medicine Woman. For 28 and 31 years respectively I have worked in the social work and metaphysical healing fields simultaneously. I assist others find the root of any physical ailments in the spiritual and emotional realms. I live my own life this way too, of course.

Why then could I not heal myself?

Because I was working with misinformation. Now that I have what truly resonates at the right vibration, I am certain my physical issues (including unexplained weight gain) will resolve over time.

One of the things I teach is that everything in life is made of Qi and has its own vibrational frequency. To achieve success in anything you must find what matches your vibration (or raise your vibration if what you are attracting isn’t desirable). The higher your vibration the more joy you experience in life.

Food is Qi too and so has a vibrational frequency of its own. Whole foods have the highest vibrational frequency. This is why we feel better eating after having eaten this way, especially if you are empathic or otherwise more sensitive to energy than the general population (remember food IS energy, so of course you’d be more sensitive than others!) The transition from low to high, however, can be hell, if your mindset isn’t right. 

It is the same way when I work with individuals. The new ideas/thoughts are hard and uncomfortable to get used to. We have to let go and release all sorts of misinformation and false beliefs that have kept us imprisoned in an illusionary prison and adopt new information that feels odd and counterintuitive. The hardest part is always the letting go of the illusion. In fact, my programs are all in 30, 60 or 90 days increments, because 30 days is the MINIMUM one needs to release old stuff and embrace new stuff. More resistance = more time needed. And to get it to really stick, well, that’s for sure 60 or 90 days.

Sugars, chemicals and processed foods are the illusions of the food energy world. I am seeing similarity in my process of letting go of old ‘healthy’ habits regarding food, to the early days of my spiritual journey and letting go of old ‘healthy’ beliefs. Really. It is eery to me, how the process is exactly the same.

So, in doing this, I am pulling on that for strength when it might be easier to grab a hunk of cheese with some gluten free crackers. Or a bowl of yogurt and some gluten free granola. Quitting is not an option, because increasing my spiritual/emotional vibration has already enhanced my life SO much that I truly cannot wait to see what will happen when I bring my physical vibration up to match it.

I have always spoken about body, mind and soul being tied together. They all must be in alignment, just focusing on one or two isn’t sufficient. And even when you ARE focusing on all three, having the right information is KEY to getting the results you deserve.

So, there will be no quitting. In fact, I’m extending the 30 days to 60 just to give my body extra time to heal from the years of unhealthy-healthy eating!

What would be the point of quitting?

The thirty days will pass whether or not I am doing the Whole 30, so what will I be losing by giving it the full effort? I already know the results of NOT doing the W30 and that equals an undesired result. So, I try this framework and give it 60 days before I make a final discernment on whether or not it resonates with my highest self – but I am already feeling the increase in my vibrational frequency so I don’t see that being a tough call to make.

Don’t quit on you. Don’t quit on anything if it is in your highest good. Don’t quit until you know it is not in your highest good.

Sometimes we cannot see how much our life is changing in the exact moment it changes…

Often, its a much later reveal.

I love you.

~Jade

A New Take On Sacrifice

I’ve been contemplating the meaning of sacrifice the past couple of days and I’ve come to a new definition and its changing my life…

sacrifice | ˈsakrəˌfīs |

noun

an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy: we must all be prepared to make sacrifices.

give up (something important or valued) for the sake of other considerations: working hard doesn’t mean sacrificing your social life

verb

give up (something important or valued) for the sake of other considerations: working hard doesn’t mean sacrificing your social life.

There were other examples, mostly of religious or animal sacrificing, but these are the ones I want to focus on. This idea that we aren’t sacrificing anything unless it is something important and of value to us.

I am seeing it differently today. I think sacrifice is giving up something we are attached to, not necessarily something important or of value. In fact, I’d say its more sacrificial to give up those things we are attached to that are not important or of any value. These are the things getting in our way and need to be sacrificed for our advancement.

I don’t talk about it often, but I think its time.

I have a long history with weight issues. I wasn’t born with them, they were medically induced. I had absolutely no weight issues until I took began taking birth control. Almost immediately there were side effects and instead of ceasing, I kept searching other alternatives only experiencing worst and worst side effects. The last one launching my weight up 20 pounds in 3 months. The doctor’s advice? “Push yourself away from the table.”

From there things snowballed for me. I thought I caught a break some 20 years later when I gave up gluten and lost 55 pounds. However, that turned out to be a (simultaneous) medicinal side effect as well and after I went off the med I put the weight back in 6 years despite remaining vigilant about being gluten free. There have been other contributing factors such as fibromyalgia and herniated discs that have made this not only an uphill battle, but an uphill battle on icy ground.

I never give up though. I don’t do drugs and I don’t do diets. But nothing is working. My friend recently brought the Whole30 plan to my attention and I am currently investigating it. It scares me, which is always a good indicator that I’m on the right path. There doesn’t seem to be any extreme ‘hype’ things around it, which is also a good indicator for me. Its not drastic, really, even though my ego self says it is. It makes good sense. A cleanse, reset and then add back in to see what doesn’t agree with your body. I love that.

And as I gear myself up for this huge change, ‘sacrifice’ came to me in this new light. Sacrificing what we are attached to, but doesn’t serve us. I love dairy. I can’t eat dairy on this adventure. What if I found out that dairy is not my friend? The feeling of sacrifice is real. Its 30 days. If I can’t go without something for 30 days (besides air, water and good food) then I truly have an unhealthy attachment to it and it is past time to address it.

Instead of resolutions, I am making sacrifices. I have also sacrificed all but 2 hours of solo TV time. That was my first introduction to this new sacrifice perspective. I was spending far too much time alone watching TV when I could be doing other things, even though I was getting a lot of things done. I just felt I could do more and so I let it go. It wasn’t even very hard once I decided. I am listening to more music and writing more. But I had to sacrifice what was draining me in order to make room for what feeds me!

I am anticipating that same result here with the Whole 30. In preparing to do this 30 days, I realized I have not faithfully put the same effort into my physical existence as I have my spiritual one and I believe this discord is what is showing up as headaches, fibromyalgia, herniated discs, gastro pain etc…

I am committing to doing 30 days of whole food eating! #Whole30 I have been guilty of neglecting my physical -ugh I hate saying that, because indeed I did not truly think I WAS neglecting it. I had no problem seeing how those so intent on physical fitness were neglecting their spiritual and emotional wellbeing, while at the same time I gave less effort into my physical than my spiritual and emotional wellbeing.

Discord.

And any discord is measurement of the distance between your Earthly self and your Highest Self. ANY DISCORD and my body has been in discord for a long time. While I was trying to hear it, I wasn’t really listening to it.

Or maybe I just needed to have this experience, this way.

Or maybe I’m putting too much into the cleanse/reset.

But I KNOW in my heart of hearts that food is causing my problems – mostly because I’ve eliminated all other possibilities. I never ever wanted to follow diet crazes, as they are SO counterintuitive to what I feel is healthy for my body. So, over the years I have adapted many many healthy eating alternatives. I have been gluten free for 10 years or more. I have adopted a more Paleo way of eating, although not stringent (again, not one for extremes). Very few processed foods. NO drive through. Limited fried foods. Despite all these super healthy adjustments the scale keeps going up, I have recurring pain and inflammation, increased fatigue and lately some weird break outs and illnesses.

So, yes, I have super high hopes for this journey to render some really positive results.

I am super sensitive to energy; food is energy. So, it stands to reason that I would be super sensitive to foods as well. This whole foods journey will tell me a lot…about myself, about what I need and about sacrifice.

I will be doing physically what I’ve been doing spiritually and emotionally for decades. I will be looking at each bite of food with the same conscientiousness that I look at each thought I think. Makes sense right? See, why this is resonating so deeply with me? This is the time. One more opportunity to put my money where my mouth is and do the hard stuff, sacrifice the stuff not serving me so I can then later show others how it can be done.

I debated whether to keep this to myself during the 30 days and discuss the journey afterwards, but I opted for full real-time disclosure. I’ve never been this open about discussing my health issues, mostly because I didn’t know what to say. While I believe there is no problem without a solution, I hadn’t come upon my solution yet, so what was there to talk about?

I am not intending to make this a #Whole30 journal. This will remain exactly what it is, Willow Song Medicine Woman’s blog. This is just one part of my journey, so don’t expect things to change. But I will keep you posted on things I notice and if indeed it ends up giving me the answers I am seeking as well as some relief.

Does this resonate with anyone else? Would love to connect personally with those also on the Whole30 journey.

Remember, I love you. And now I’m going to take my love for (for both of us) to a new dimension!

~Jade

 

It’s All About Vibration Baby!!

Universal LawsAs a theme this has been coming up in posts I read and realizations I have had – most recently a realization in the grocery store. It has been birthing as a part of  my redefinition of surrender as ‘letting go of expected outcomes and melting into all possibilities.’ I really am so in love with that definition.

I feel almost ashamed (if I believed in that) that it took me so long to put this two and two together.

The first inkling of it was 24 years ago. I was home on maternity leave with my daughter and she was probably no more than 4 weeks old. I was a big Oprah Winfrey fan (still am) and had been watching Oprah, but walked away from the TV to do dishes. I left Emma in a seat in the living room as she had fallen asleep.

I returned to the room when I heard her crying. I did all the things new moms do, checked diaper, tried to feed her, held her etc…but nothing worked. In my increasing panic I noticed that Jerry Springer was now on the TV and I realized that Oprah had ended, so I turned off the tube.

Emma stopped crying immediately.

That’s when I realized that my daughter was ‘sensitive to energy’ (I had no concept of the word empath). She was highly sensitive to negativity. It took me awhile to identify it, but she picked it up in TV shows, music and even people.

Brave memeEverything in life is vibration and vibrations come in a spectrum. Vibrations attract like vibrations. Everything has a vibrational frequency and as human beings we are the creators of our Universal experience called life. We collect things around us that resonate with us. When our vibrational frequency is low we naturally surround ourselves with other low vibrational things by making lower vibrational choices in friends, jobs and recreational activities.

We raise our vibrational frequency by interrupting that pattern. Its simple (though simple is not to say easy) to do that. Choice by choice, you just choose something a little above your comfort zone. Catch yourself in a negative judgement and accept whatever you were judging with unconditional love. Make friends with someone who before you might have thought of as ‘weird’. Look for more challenges at work, or start a new job search.

Stir the Qi (Life Force Energy) and your vibration will rise.

EVERYTHING is made up of vibration. Including your food. Wait! Lest you think this is yet another commercial for becoming vegan, it is NOT! It IS however, a PSA for eating what is right for YOU. Being vegetarian or vegan is not right for everyone on the planet.

Do you realize that if human beings had held onto being vegetarian and never evolved to eating meat they wouldn’t have survived the ice age when all vegetation was killed off? Did you know that humans and animals have a working contract to work together and that animals who end up as food, have signed up to offer themselves as sustenance to their human partners? Did you know that there are ethical farmers and slaughter houses who’s purpose is assisting animals in their purpose of offering themselves as sustenance? Did you know that certain body types demand different diet regimes? Did you know that you can change the energetic vibration of your food before you eat it by using healing energy on it while you are cooking or before you put it in your mouth?

Ok, now here’s the grocery store revelation.

For the past several years I’ve been feeling so ‘tired’ of thinking about food. What’s healthy? What’s not? And it is only complicated by the ‘experts’ reversing their opinions every five years or so (remember when eggs were good – er bad – er good – I mean bad – I mean….?)  I am always and forever looking to tweak my diet regime as healthy as it can possibly be without falling prey to fad diets or unnatural scientific concoctions. I have gotten to the point where I am not always excited about eating a salad (although when I have all the time and ingredients to create a master piece I am quite excited then!!)

As I stood in the grocery store trying desperately to create a menu of healthy tasty food for my family and running back to get something ‘healthy’ that I’d forgotten and wasn’t that geeked about, I heard The Voice (no not the singing competition).

“If you do the ‘right’ thing out of fear it can no longer be the ‘right’ thing.”

And the voice went on…

“The vibration of fear is part of your intention and that changes the vibration of the choice, which makes it lower than you intended and that is why things you do outside of your intuition don’t work out how you plan.”

Hear it…

If you choose the high vibrational thing out of fear then it is no longer a high vibrational choice.

So, then in the grocery store, I am thinking, perhaps this is why the ‘healthier’ I ate – out of fear of gaining weight, or not losing weight, or with the purpose of not getting cancer, etc…- the heavier I got, I developed high blood pressure, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia…and the list could go on. I was actually creating the monster I was trying to eliminate. Every healthy food I ate, begrudgingly or instead of something I was depriving myself of, in fact became the same vibration as that which I wanted to eat! What a revelation!

A few days after that grocery store revelation I had another revelation (this one ties it all together)…we know that food has vibration, right? That food is energy and energy vibrates. Well, what I wasn’t putting together is that food resonates with your own vibrations, so the higher your vibration gets the higher vibrational food you will crave. Now, each body will have different vibrational needs. But high vibrational foods are whole foods, foods our pioneer ancestors ate. Our food sources at their optimum before industrialization. The highest vibrational food for you will be different than for others and it will change during your life as your body adjusts to your energetic shifts. My highest vibrational food right now is proteins and fats.

One thing that is the same for everyone is that sugar is the lowest energy food and that sugar is the vibrational equivalent to fear!!! This is what it means to ‘eat your feelings’…you feel fear you crave sugar!

So, let’s do the math. If you are have a lot of fear, you are thinking low vibrational thoughts, making low vibrational choices and surrounding yourself with low vibrational people you will be more drawn to sugars and simple carbohydrates than to proteins, fats and complex carbs because they are on your same vibrational frequency. It will be hard if not impossible for you to CRAVE proteins, natural fats and simple carbs.

The more you deprive yourself (low vibrational choice) of things like proteins (meats) and natural fats (dairies, avocados, nuts) the more you will crave sugar and processed fats.

I don’t think of it like giving up anything anymore. I think of it like values. Keep the value high with meats, veggies, brown and wild rice, legumes etc. and limit low vibrational items to occasional indulgences and pay attention to how I feel after I eat.

This is super new to me, mind you. Its been a super huge shift. I’ve been trying to get off sugar for a long time now. I don’t even eat that much, but enough here and there daily to make it matter. I am happy to say at the time of this writing its almost 48 hours since my last bite of sugar (and that’s what it was too – two bites). I have allowed myself to eat meat and dairy and veggies whenever I was hungry. No going with hunger pains to deny myself. No saying ‘oh I’ve had too much today’. Nope. Just listen to my body and feeding it the protein and fats. Guess what. I did NOT have the energy lag I normally do and I did NOT have the sugar cravings I normally do. I believe the full fat dairy I had eliminated was something my body has really needed for optimum performance.

I’ll keep you updated. Feel free to post comments about what unique recipe of food consumption works for you!

I love you.

~Jade

 

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.
 
To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.