Integration

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What do you know about integration?

To integrate: “verb [with object] 1 combine (one thing) with another so that they become a whole: transportation planning should be integrated with energy policy. combine (two things) so that they become a whole: the problem of integrating the two approaches. [no object] (of a thing) combine with another to form a whole: the stone will blend with the environment and integrate into the landscape”

Wow. Doesn’t that sound important? How often have you integrated new information on personal and spiritual development? How often have you heard healers, mentors or advisors speak on it? I’ve never heard anyone mention it.

When we introduce something new to our bodies, environments or minds we need to allow and effort to integrate the new ways/thoughts/ideas with what remains.

My husband and I are in the process of adopting a new dog. We have two already but there are many years between them and we thought the younger one would appreciate a playmate. When you bring a new dog into a family, you have to integrate it. You don’t just toss it in and hope for the best. The dynamics change and a new order must be established. You can expect fights, bites, growls and howls. You can expect at one time or another someone is going to be ready to call it quits (this might be you). You can expect that it will take time to do all these things.

The key is to keep your expectations low and your alert status high. Keep a watchful eye and nip any aggression in the bud. Redirect and allow for time out as necessary. Eventually things will fall into their own rhythm and peace will reign in your new expanded family.

The same is true for Rolfing (any energy healing too). If you’ve read my previous stuff you know I’ve been rolfing to attempt to relieve some physical symptoms I experience. Between sessions seven and eight she allows for integration. A period of time where no new sessions are done so that the body can catch up with the work that has been done and come to a new normal. A better normal. Thus the body integrates the new ways of operating.

During this time you can experience detoxing, aching, flu-like symptoms, fatigue, irritability and general discomfort. It might even get worse before it gets better (healing crisis). In short, you can expect fights, bites, growls and howls. You might even feel like calling it quits. Once your body adjusts and settles into the new commands your connective tissue is giving your muscles though, peace will reign in your new expanded body.

Our minds are no exception. When we discover new paradigms of thoughts/beliefs and introduce them into our lives we must allow for integration. Some old outdated thoughts/beliefs will be exchanged out simultaneously without issue. Still others will be forced out as the new set in. Still others will sort of fall off, without much mention, after the new has been allowed to integrate.

During this time you can experience irritability, discomfort, fear, anxiety and restlessness. You can expect fight, bites, growls and howls. You might even feel like calling it quits and just go back to the old paradigm. But once you introduce new paradigms it is hard to go back. Once you settle into the new rhythm, peace will reign in your new expanded mind. Then your Spirit will be joyous because your experience of it will be expanded as well.

Integration is likely the most important step of all -especially in personal/spiritual development- yet it is often overlooked. We live in an instant gratification society that leaves no room for integration. Today it is seek-find-ingest-move on. Where is the integration? It’s a little like shopping-purchasing-chewing-spitting out. Where is the digestion?  What good is the food if you are not digesting it? None, that’s what.

Integration of personal and spiritual development information allows for movement, acceptance and expression of the new shift.

  • Movement – allowance for the new balance to be established by the introduction of the new and replacement/reduction of the old.
  • Acceptance – to allow the new to work in your life on purpose, not default.
  • Expression – to practice this new way whenever possible – not to just ‘think it’ and retain old bad habits associated with the old (aka walk the talk).
But How?

Sit with it.

When you are introducing a new spiritual paradigm of thought, meditate on it. Sit in silence with it. Notice where it resonates (or doesn’t) in your body. What thoughts come up around it? What feelings come up around it? What emotions come up around it? Do you feel smaller or larger consciously because of it? Does it expand you?

Stand with it.

Challenge other related thoughts and beliefs you hold against the resonance of the new. When you’ve sat with something and decided that it does indeed resonate with you then weigh it against related beliefs that you’ve long just grown accustomed to. You might find that they too have outgrown their usefulness and will be replaced or just merely drop away. How does the new fit in with the old? Look for consistency and congruence. Something that is true will be true in all scenarios (with some exceptions, perhaps), so play devil’s advocate with yourself. Challenge yourself to think bigger with this new paradigm. See what else it shakes loose.

Walk with it.

Take it out for a spin around the block. Start conversations with others about it. If you don’t have any friends who get into this sort of thing there are many people on the internet exploring just these subjects (hint hint). Reach out. Conversations about such things are free. While asking for free advice on specific personal issues is not appropriate, opening up exploratory conversations is generally welcomed by all. Share your process, your conclusions and your expectations of what this new paradigm could do for you. Entertain whatever questions or doubts they might share with you. This is your chance to see if what you’re integrating has merit.

Then wear it.

Don’t be ashamed of your new shift. Wear it proudly. While it may be tempting to ‘shout it from the rooftops’ that can be obnoxious. So shout if you must, but expect you’ll turn a lot of people off. If that helps you integrate, then by all means don’t let putting people off deter you. I however, prefer to just wear it into a room. What that means is that I let the Universe determine when the information needs to be shared. When a subject comes up that relates to my belief I share it. I do it in the best possible way for it to be heard. Sharing things in certain ways will guarantee rejection before that other person really even hears it. Wording things in a non-threatening manner allows for the maximum amount of people to hear it and expand with it.

That’s integration – in a nutshell.

Questions? Start a conversation with me at jadewillowsong@gmail.com or in my too quiet facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/willowsongfirekeepers/

And as always remember…

I love you.

~Jade

 

 

The Inter-Dependent Relationship Model

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Photo by Fancycrave on Pexels.com

You’ve heard of independence, right? Dependence? And co-dependence?  But how often do you hear of interdependence? This is not surprising in a society that uses fear as a tactic to motivate us.

Imagine making a journey across the country, before the industrial age, in a horse drawn wagon traveling dirt roads.  You are driving your horse to pull your wagon full of precious cargo through undiscovered terrain to an uncertain destination.  Upon this journey you meet with another and decide to travel together.  But how do you proceed?

To travel independently, in your respective wagons side-by-side, each wagon retains autonomy in decision-making, planning and action.  Individually each wagon will experience a different journey because though they are next to each other they are not traveling the exact terrain.  One may hit more bumps, ruts or rocks. Another may get stuck in muddy ground.  Pieces of cargo may fall off a wagon unnoticed. With two wagons to maneuver side-by-side going through narrow passages proves impossible so one must take the lead.  Who goes first?  Keeping exact pace may also be difficult when one tires quicker than another, or one may have a quicker horse or lighter cargo.  Coming to a fork in the road they may each feel a different direction would be best.  If one does not acquiesce to the other, then time and energy will be wasted in arguing may which could lead to separation.  At one time or another one will feel disadvantaged while the other will feel impeded.

To travel dependently, the respective separate wagons are positioned one behind the other.  While each retains control of their reins, one wagon is in the lead and the driver of that wagon has the decision-making and planning authority, directing the action of the other.  Although they travel the exact same terrain they are not experiencing it together.  Pieces of cargo from the first wagon may fall off and be trampled underfoot of the following horses, while pieces of cargo from the second wagon may fall off unnoticed.  In time both will feel resentful; the lead driver being overly responsible and the following driver being under valued.

To travel interdependently, resources are combined in an organized collaborative measure.  The horses are joined under one rein, to one wagon where the precious cargo has been combined orderly and secured. Together the individual drivers discuss their vision for the journey and their destination.  They agree upon the division of roles and responsibilities each will execute. One person is the designated driver and is responsible for the direction the wagon will go based upon the mutually agreed upon destination.  The driver directs the horses and judges how best for them both to arrive safely and accomplish the mission they’ve outlined together. The other person is the designated shotgun and is responsible for keeping an eye open to dangers that may not be visible to the driver. The shotgun is also charged with managing the precious cargo, making sure items are secure and do not fall of the wagon unnoticed and left behind.  Whereas the driver is responsible for the maintenance of the wagon ensuring its continued function,   the shotgun is responsible for managing the precious cargo to ensure that they have enough resources for the journey. Though they play different roles, each is valued and honored for their contributions as they share equal responsibility for the journey.

Each of the above scenarios represents different models of relationships and could respectively be characterized like this:

  • Independent = “I need to take care of me. You need to take care of you.”

  • Codependent = One says, “You need to take care of me.” And the other agrees, “You need me to take care of you.”

  • Interdependent = Each says, “I want us to take care of us.”

The interdependent relationship dynamic offers a collaborative approach with collective responsibility, creating a vehicle for individual growth as well as growth as a couple. People in interdependent relationships do that which is best for both partners by making sincere, reliable agreements with each other based upon their individual wants and needs.  They agree upon and establish solid boundaries and limits within the relationship. Then they honor those agreements. Those agreements should be as unique to the couple as fingerprints to an individual.  However, in every relationship, no matter how different the agreements, each person holds themselves accountable for their part in the relationship and absolute loyalty to the relationship is expected.

Each one charged with giving themselves wholly to the success of the relationship over the success of the individual and developing an intense level of trust, integrity and respect.

The symbol for this model is the Chinese symbol, yin yang, that represents the interaction of two energies, “yin” (black) and “yang” (white), which cause everything to happen. They are not completely black or white, just as things in life are not completely black or white, and they cannot exist without each other.  The two energies are often referred to as male energy (yang) and female energy (yin).  In this symbol the two are recognized as indivisible as they swirl to compliment each other and each holds a part of the other. Each partner has a different skill set that is valued and cherished by the other.  They do not oppose each other or compete, they are complementary.

In the wagon metaphor above, the driver’s role would be seen as the yang (male) and the shotgun’s role would be seen as the yin (female).

In the fight for women to be treated as equals, male dominance has taken on a negative connotation, rightfully so. Yet women across the globe swoon for the likes of Rhett Butler and dream of being bent over in a possessive kiss like the one he planted on Scarlet. There is a natural inclination for women to want men to display dominance. But the character trait of dominance is not the same as being domineering.

Like the yin to the yang there has to be a balance of energy in the relationship. So the counterpart to the active yang male is the passive yin female. However, being passive is far from being subjugated and it is definitely not a meek role. It is a consent to ride shotgun in the partnership. It is understanding that she is an interrelated partner to him. She is the defense to his offense, working on the same team to achieve the same goal, just with different roles. It is this dynamic that Kings with their Queens and Lords with their Ladies employ.

A dominant male is not an oppressor of women, nor is he in any way domineering. On the contrary, a dominant male recognizes that females are the source of life providing a feeling of strength and consistency to his life. A dominant male honors the passive energy of the female. While to the untrained eye the dominant male role may seem more dictatorial and active and the passive female role as submissive and meek, this could not be further from the truth.

Likewise, a passive woman allows the male to provide for her, just as readily as she provides for him. She does not view herself as weak in receiving, merely because she is yin. Yin is as powerful as yang. It is not a power struggle, but an allocation of power. “Here’s the whole pie of power. Yang, you are responsible for this half and Yin, you are responsible for this half.” The collaboration of the yang and yin roles in the interdependent dynamic, perfectly fuses maintained individuality with selflessness to create a passion-fueled relationship.

The feminist movement, though well intended, actually sabotaged itself by inadvertently devaluing the woman’s supportive passive role. The insistence that “equal” means the “same,” (ie: men and women doing the “same” job to be considered equal) rather than “equal” meaning “of equal value,” (ie: men and women doing different jobs that are held at the same value). Our modern movements for gender equality are fought by opening up jobs, traditionally populated by men, to women instead of also assigning due respect and equal value to traditional women’s roles. This is because our society is built upon patriarchal hierarchy where something has to better than another thing and if that something is male it is automatically worth more. As it is, our societal system has no ability to measure value independently of comparison.

Just to prevent any misunderstanding, let me emphasize that I am not saying women shouldn’t take jobs traditionally populated by men. Not at all. The feminist movement rightly opened up the opportunity for women to have free choice in the matter. I am merely saying that those women who choose to work in traditionally female populated positions need to be valued equally.

Author’s note: There is nothing to say that a female cannot or should not be in the yang role (or both roles), however for fluidity I chose not to use the PC he/she. There only must be yin and yang energy for it to work. It matters not, which gender fills which role.

Don’t Be “The Bigger Person”

black-and-white-people-bar-men.jpgYou’ve had a conflict with another person. Things may have gotten out of control and both sides are hurt. You may think the other person is at fault or at least at greater fault. At one point someone suggests you apologize and you reject that notion. That person then says to you, “be the bigger person” and you reluctantly decide to make the first move towards resolution.

Chances are that resolution wasn’t as successful as you would’ve liked. In fact, it may have even made things worse and you might be wondering why.

When you label yourself ‘bigger’, you are -by default- labeling them ‘smaller’ and it immediately sets up an energetic power struggle. “Bigger” is a relative term, which means it has no meaning without reference to something “smaller”. Energetically this is communicated through any interaction then.

You continue the conflict (power struggle) by putting the other person down energetically and with your language. You can’t help it. If being the bigger person is your motivation then all action from that place will be tainted. Can you feel the difference between these two ‘apologies’?

I’m sorry if your feelings were hurt. I’m sorry you felt that way and that you took what I said wrong.

 

I’m sorry. I never intended for your feelings to get hurt and I apologize that what I said caused you pain.

Can you feel the difference in the energy?!

The first one is passive-aggressive and is pretty typical of someone who is coming from a bigger/smaller place.

While we are not responsible for how someone else feels, we are accountable for our actions and our actions impact others whether we intend for them to or not. I think it is important to understand the intent of our actions, realize there can be miscommunication even with the best of intentions and there need not be ‘fault’ assigned, when accepting accountability. Just clear transparent communication.

If you can’t come to a conflict resolution open hearted with no power struggle strings, then you are not ready for conflict resolution. Wait until you can come to the table with an open heart.

Unless/until you can come with an open heart, the resolution won’t have a solid foundation for a conflict free future and the only point to conflict resolution, is to build a conflict free future. This can’t be done if egos are running amok and the ego is surely running amok if the only way you can think about doing the ‘right’ thing is to consider yourself the bigger person.

Conflict resolution isn’t about getting one over on another. It isn’t about proving anything to anyone. Its about clearing energy from your heart center and improving the vibration between two (or maybe more) parties. Its only about ‘winning’ if both parties are winning. It isn’t about being a better person than the other, merely a better version of your self.

Here’s the thing…

Conflict resolution isn’t necessary unless you create conflict. There is actually a way to live your life in such a way to minimize or even eliminate conflict in a healthy way.

I can hear your disbelief. “Conflict is a part of life” you think, but it isn’t. Conflict, by definition is a “serious and protracted disagreement or argument”. Not seeing eye to on a topic isn’t an automatic conflict. It’s when people believe there is one ‘right’ perspective and endeavor to impose that on others, demanding agreement, that conflict ensues. Simple seeing things differently is not conflict, its perspective.

Now, here are four steps to live your life to minimize if not eliminate conflict healthfully.

  1. Let go of winning.
  2. Disagreements are not automatic conflicts.
  3. Conflict resolution does not equal confrontation.
  4. Shift from the negative to the positive.
Let go of winning

When you are aligned you realize there is no ‘right or wrong’. There is what resonates with you and what does not. You cannot speak for another on the subject of resonating. What resonates with you may resonate with another, but you can never know if it resonates in the same way because neither of you can know the experience of the other! All you can do is trust your inner self, when you are most connected to Spirit to determine what resonates with you. The goal is not to win but to expand!

Disagreements are not automatic conflicts

Speaking to one another with respect and understanding, focusing as much on understanding another as we do on being understood by another is primary to eliminating conflict from your life. Transparency means being authentic without the fear of reprisal or harm. Approaching a problem from two different perspectives is a wonderful way to find the best solution. When you eliminate the need to win from a disagreement, you are automatically opened up to explore the limitless possibilities of outcomes and conflict isn’t even a ‘thing’.

Conflict Resolution does not equal Confrontation

If you do end up in conflict and find yourself approaching conflict resolution, it is important to understand that conflict resolution does not equal confrontation. Confrontation is hostile, conflict resolution is not. It can be uncomfortable (remember what we said about uncomfortable in the intimidation article) but it not hostile. True Conflict resolution, by its very name, will focus on the resolution not the conflict. Whereas confrontation has the aggressiveness built in, defenses are up and an implied right/wrong dynamic exists.

 

Shift from negative to positive

I’ve saved the first for last. Yes, you read that right. The very first thing you need to do to eliminate conflict from your life is to shift from the negative to the positive. Why did I save it for last? Because if you remember nothing else from this post, I want you to remember this…it is the single most important and powerful thing you can do for the betterment of your life. I have many people confess to me that they wish to be more positive but find themselves stuck in the negative. That is understandable. You were taught to be negative, you weren’t born that way. So, you have to unlearn it in a matter of speaking and relearn to be positive. There is one simple two step trick to making the switch.

The first step is to be aware of your negativity. Pay attention to your thoughts and your words. When you find yourself focusing on the negative, even if it is simply how something didn’t live up to your expectations, notice it. Be aware that you are focusing on the ‘lack’ of something rather than the ‘gift’ of something.

Once you have gotten used to noticing your negativity, the second step is to double up on the positive. What does this mean? For every negative thing you think or say, you counter with two positives. Say you are out to dinner with friends and the waiter forgets the tea you ordered. You find yourself feeling irritated and make a snide remark to your dinner companions. You hear it. Now you find two positive things to say about the waiter. Yes, say them out loud, after all you complained out loud, didn’t you? Maybe the waiter brought you extra rolls or had a pleasant demeanor.

Making this change is conscious, which means it will take effort to 1) notice the negative and 2) double up the positive. However, the shift you will be making will cascade out to all parts of your life. You will be more conscious of how your mind works and whether or not your attention is on the negative of life or the positive (aka the lack or the gifts). Remember that life will bring you whatever you purchase with your attention. (It’s a little like Amazon.com that way!)

All right, this has been sitting in my drafts folder for too long now, so I’m going to hit publish and know that it is on it’s way to those who need to hear this message the most.

As always, remember…

I love you!

~Jade

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.

Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 

Join us for more conversation in our Facebook group Willow Song Firekeepers

As of now Jade is limiting the one on one work she does. For availability please email an inquiry.

To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

 

 

 

 

What Is A Strong Person?

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On my Facebook page I asked “When you think of a strong person, what comes to mind?” Inquiring into behaviors, actions, thoughts and philosophies. The answers were many an varied. Some I resonated with, some I did not. What I loved was the conversation we were having.
When I think of strong individuals I look to those who have experienced challenges and grown from them by becoming ‘better not bitter’. That’s the bottom line.
 
It is not someone who hides their truth and puts on a false smile. It is someone who feels the feels, cries the tears, then dries them and finds the takeaway.
 
It is someone who goes out of their way to do no harm, including doing no harm to his own self. Thus, it is NOT someone who cares more about others, than they do themselves, but instead, one who cares about others AS MUCH as they care about themselves.
 
It is someone who speaks truth, but in a kind way when it is most likely to be heard with an open heart.
 
It is someone who has suffered pain but keeps her heart open to those who show up and do the work.
 
It is also the someone who shows up and does the work.
 
It is someone who pushes through and assists others on the path, not run them over.
 
It is someone who has every reason and opportunity to be angry but chooses to love. It is someone who loves himself first and lets that love flow unto others.
 
It is someone who does not see things in ‘right or wrong’ or ‘fair’. It is someone who realizes everyone’s journey is different and has value.
 
It is someone who is not in competition to be better or worse than her sister/brother, but interested in being better than her self, yesterday.
 
I know a lot of strong women. I know a lot of strong men. I know a lot of individuals who think they are strong and are not (not for the reasons they think that is). I know a lot of individuals who think they are not strong but really are.
 
Your default setting is set on strong. You are strength incarnated because you are unconditional love and what could be stronger than that??!! There is nothing stronger than that!!! We can be convinced by societal conditioning that we are not strong because of thus and so. Its a lie. A misnomer. Misinformation. Hogwash.
 
Find your strength and choose better not bitter.
I love you!
~Jade

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.

Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 

Join us for more conversation in our Facebook group Willow Song Firekeepers

As of now Jade is limiting the one on one work she does. For availability please email an inquiry.

To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

Healing Crisis or Negative Consequence?

There are signs everywhere.

Interpreting the messages of Life can be tricky at best, overwhelming at worst. Its something I pride myself on having figured out. I have been called the “Queen of Reframing” and a “Mystic Midwife” because I’ve developed the skill of interpreting Life’s Language.

It wasn’t always this easy for me, not when I was using an outdated and corrupt ‘Life to English’ dictionary. I had to ferret out the false leads and influences to find out what messages Life was really sending me, rather than the propaganda I was being fed.

With time and attention I cracked the code and became affluent in Life Language. Now, I gladly share my knowledge, experience and expertise with others looking to gain a new understanding of Life and its messages.

Navigating Life without understanding its language feels a lot like stumbling around in the dark searching for your glasses. (Even if you find them, how will they help?)

How many times have you wondered if you are doing the ‘right’ thing to get what you want? Or maybe, you did the ‘right’ thing, but it brought you undesired results? Or maybe it brought you no results at all?

How many times have you tried a new exercise routine, diet, self-help formula or mindset shift only to find yourself saying ‘it didn’t work’ or ‘it only made things worse.’

If you are serious about improving your experience of life and pursuing the path of self-development then one of the foremost keys to decoding Life (and it’s language) is to discern between a Negative Consequence and a Healing Crisis. This is a very specific message with which most people on the self-development journey have trouble.

Example

You discover my Release Resistance program and enroll. You diligently do your work for a week or so and you feel great while you do it, but then ‘something’ happens to distract you. Its usually something moderate, sometimes something HUGE, but it distracts you from your work. It can be anything; illness, family emergency, money issues (credits or deficits), work etc. 

You forget about the program and settle back into your old patterns of behavior. You do what you’ve always done, and experienced what you’ve always experienced. Then an undesired experience comes along and you decide ‘nothing’s changed.’ 

A few months or maybe even a few years later you are reminded of the program and declaring ‘nothing’s changed’, you think to yourself  “Eh, that Jade and her stuff didn’t work for me.” 

Oh, didn’t it?

If you knew how to discern between Healing Crisis and Negative Consequence you could see that the program did work, but you stopped working it. (This goes for not only any service of mine but any other Shaman, Medicine Person, Mindset Manager, Healer etc. as well.)

Negative Consequence

When something – a program, a technique, an action or a belief – brings a negative consequence; it separates you from your highest self. It breaks down the healthy relationships you have and supports the pathological ones.

It is a result of making a choice that goes against what your Soul has planned for you. It brings you pain, but it also brings you another opportunity to make a different choice.

Negative Consequences show up as (not an all inclusive list):

  • dating the same type of person over and over and having the same negative endings
  • jobs that do not feed your passion
  • losing consecutive jobs
  • never getting ahead financially
  • never feeling fulfilled or happy
  • chronic feelings of isolation

Healing Crisis

When something – a program, a technique, an action or a belief – causes a Healing Crisis; it brings you face to face with your highest self. It breaks down the pathological relationships you have and supports the healthy ones.

It is a direct result of actions you have taken that bring you more into alignment with your Soul’s purpose.

Healing Crises show up as (not an all inclusive list):

  • break up in a pathological relationship
  • getting fired from a job that makes you ill
  • getting acutely sick (flu, cold, bronchitis, broken appendage…)
  • losing friends/relationships where the giving is one-sided
  • losing opportunities that reflect old patterns (safe options)
  • experiences outside your comfort zone

 

Now let’s revisit the example and label it.

Example Revisited

You discover my Release Resistance program and enroll. You diligently do your work for a week or so and you feel good while you do it, but then ‘something’ happens to distract you. (healing crisis) Its usually something moderate, sometimes something HUGE, but it distracts you from your work. It can be anything; illness, family emergency, money issues (credits or deficits), work etc. 

You forget about the program and settle back into your old patterns of behavior. You do what you’ve always done, and experienced what you’ve always experienced. Then an undesired experience comes along and you decide ‘nothing’s changed.’ (negative consequence)

A few months or maybe even a few years later you are reminded of the program and declaring ‘nothing’s changed’, you think to yourself  “Eh, that Jade and her stuff didn’t work for me.” 

Analysis

When you employ new strategies in self-development it is a LOT like creating a garden. You stir stuff up. Your job is to clear the field and make the ground ready to receive healthy new seeds, to provide an environment that is optimal for growth.

First you clear the field of rocks, branches, dead trees etc, then you dig up the surface and uproot weeds and wayward grasses. In this process you will find things you never expected to…things like hornet’s nests, ant colonies, buried trash, broken glass and sometimes even buried treasure.

In this process if you take a step back it will seem as if you’ve made more of a mess of things than anything else. Those who decided they are only making things worse will back out of the project at this point and let the weeds and grass takeover again. They will continue to experience negative consequences. Others, who see this as the healing crisis it is, will hike up their sleeves and begin to dig even deeper.

 

Buried Treasure

What’s super tricky is when the healing crisis doesn’t look like a crisis at all.

If we go back to the example…

You discover my Release Resistance program and enroll. You diligently do your work for a week or so and you feel good while you do it, but then ‘something’ happens to distract you. (healing crisis) Its usually something moderate, sometimes something HUGE, but it distracts you from your work. It can be anything; illness, family emergency, money issues (credits or deficits), work promotion or demotion etc. 

You are going along, working the program and complete, say 7 of the 23 lessons and an amazing opportunity comes along. Maybe its a new job, a windfall, an answer to a prayer or any sort of positive experience. This event is a direct result of your work, but it will draw attention away from your work if you let it.

And if you let that happen you are at risk of returning to old patterns because your ego will tell you that the event is not related to the work you were doing. Your ego will tell you it is coincidence, unless you already understand that there is no such thing.

And despite the positive event, you will end up incurring more negative consequences.

I’ve seen individuals drop out of their work midstream as soon as they experience a little of what they see as ‘success’.

Things I’ve seen happen (not an all inclusive list):

  • getting your dream job, then losing it
  • finding a good relationship and sabotaging it
  • experiencing a windfall and making bad financial decisions
  • buying a house and not being able to afford to keep it
  • being offered a publishing deal and having it rescinded

Commitment

When you are on the self-development path, commitment is your most powerful tool. It keeps you from backsliding, sabotaging and just plain giving up. It powers you to move forward no matter what illusion is shattering in front of you.

So, how can you tell that a program/action/belief/mindset shift etc… is actually working for you???? If something happens after you begin using it. There is no such thing as coincidence.

If something –anything– happens after you’ve signed up for a new regime (yes, that’s right, you don’t even have to actually begin the work for the benefits to come forth), then its a safe bet that it is working for you and you need to keep going. Don’t have expectations of how you think something will work, or what the results ‘should’ be (remember we eliminated the word ‘should’ from our vocabulary!) And if ‘something’ happens for Pete’s sake stick with it!!! Its working! Keep going at it! Leave your old patterns behind you and stride confidently into your new future!

“But what if I don’t think the program is for me?” 

That’s a fair question and my answer is, ‘you’ll know’. What I mean to say is it will feel like it isn’t a good fit from the beginning…down in your soul. It will not resonate. I use that word specifically because ‘resonate’ is different than ‘comfortable’. We aim for discomfort on our journeys of self-discovery. We also aim to live by our intuition.

If you went your whole life wearing your shoes on the wrong feet, you’d be accustomed to it and it would feel comfortable (aka familiar). And if someone came along and told you to switch your shoes and you did, it would feel uncomfortable (aka unfamiliar) but it would feel right somehow and you would instinctively know this was good for you. If, on the other hand, someone came along and told you to switch your shoes, but wear a size smaller, it would be both uncomfortable and not feel good (notice there is a difference between uncomfortable and not feeling good). And what if someone else came along and encouraged you to continue to wear your shoes on the wrong feet, just wear a larger size?

What do you think your experience of that would be??

See, if you are truly tapping into your intuition (which good self-discovery programs do) then you will know what resonates with you and what doesn’t.

Stay committed to yourself. When you find something that resonates with you, don’t turn your back on it. Don’t let yourself get distracted. Don’t stop yourself short at the buried treasure. And for your own sake don’t stop just because you dug up a hornet’s nest! Keep going. You are SO worth it!

Here’s to having more healing crises!!!

I love you.

~Jade

If you are so inclined, check out my services page to find the service that fits you and your wallet. 

 

 

The Healing Storm

The Midwest is kinda notorious for intense weather changes. Our Summers can get scorching hot and humid, while our Winters reach below zero.

This week alone was a perfect example. Wednesday it was 58 degrees. Thursday it started to snow. By Friday morning we had more than 9 inches on the ground.

This was no ordinary snowstorm either. It was soft and steady. It came down steady from about 11 am Thurs to sometime early morning on Friday. No blizzard conditions that I’m aware of, but relentless in its copiousness.

I went out several times and I could feel the magick in the storm. 

While others complained about the storm and being ready for Spring, I marveled at its beauty. The snow was four inches thick on the branches of bare trees. The weight of it broke limbs off some trees and felled large portions of others. The world was quiet as the snow fell. The sky and the snow were the same color, the only contrast was the shadow of houses and foliage. Rather like the world had no beginning and no ending.

I stood in awe of the storm, feeling part of something so majestic that words failed me. It was surreal in so many ways and it caused me to ponder the engineering of a Universe that could choreograph such a feat. To change my world in hours.

Even the silence was magickal as there were no sounds at all. No birds chirping. No dogs barking. No car motors running. Not even a snowmobile. Complete silence.

Driving through the area Friday morning, I saw my home in a new light. With everything covered and sparkling after the storm’s cleansing. With the air somehow clearer and more oxygenated. With the sky bluer and somehow bigger. It was a new world…my new world.

Storms’ chaos has a cleansing and thus a healing effect on all in its wake. Notice that? Right after a storm clears there is a charge to the air, a clarity, an energy and a feeling of possibility.

I’ve been going through my own storm lately. 

A storm of epic proportions, only I failed to see the beauty in it. I still really can’t. Unlike the snow storms in which the beauty to me is evident right away, personal storms take a bit longer for me to see. This time I couldn’t even look into the eye find comfort in knowing that when it passed I would have clarity.

There are four stages to a personal storm.

  • Heart break
  • Break down
  • Break through
  • Break open

Heart Break

The First Winds of the Storm

Some will mistakenly think that heart break is is the eye of the storm, but the heart break is the cause of the storm; like a warm front and a cold front crashing into each other…its just the beginning.

This is an event – usually some sort of loss – that turns our world upside down. It upends every plan we made, every dream we had, everything we envisioned going forward.

Break Down

The Eye of the Storm

We see nothing but loss and change as we have to begin reimagining our future…as our present moment becomes something we never imagined yesterday. Everywhere we turn we see reminders of what we had and what can no longer be. We are overcome by the loss and the need to let go of the dreams we created around the thing/person we lost.

It feels as though we cannot go on and so we sink into ourselves like a bear in a cave for Winter. We bleed all over the floor and don’t care about the mess. All we can see is loss.

Break Through

The Aftermath of the Storm

The bleeding stops and healing begins. A stillness comes as some relief from the deafening waling winds of grief. There is the opportunity to see what things of value still remain in the aftermath. Priorities begin to come into focus. You are alive and hold precious possessions still intact. You understand how deeply you love and how alive that makes you feel…even when sometimes being alive feels like you are breaking.

You understand that your life needs to go on and what changes you will need to make. You become excited by some of the possibilities of these changes. You begin to glean wisdom from the experience and understand the lessons you had to learn.

Breaking Open

The Aftereffects of the Storm

You begin to see why things had to happen exactly the way they did and trust that while you may never understand how, it all happened for your Highest Good. The parts of you that felt broken now feel mended and stronger than before. You are better for the healing of it. You are a different person than before; a cause for pride in making it through to the other side and blossoming…not in spite of the storm, but because of it.

 

Storms have a way of coming just in time to do necessary cleansing. It is never comfortable. It is never fun. It is often necessary and it is always in our Highest Good. But the pain…the pain can be unbearable.

That’s when you KNOW the breaking open is going to be epic, as well.

 

I’ll love you through the storm.

~Jade

 

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.

Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 

As of now Jade is limiting the one on one work she does. For availability please email an inquiry.

To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

 

My Magick Medicine

I was tasked by a mentor to write about my medicine in an exercise. 

I have the capability to see what isn’t seen and hear what hasn’t been said, to heal what hasn’t been healed. The magic to make the scariest moment totally surmountable.

From the moment someone contacts me, if we are a good match the healing energy begins to flow. I don’t even know if I’m ‘supposed’ to manage that or if that is just what is meant to be. It no longer drains me, I manage that, so perhaps this is how I know when we are in sync? This healing can be so powerful -even before commitments are made- that often that is all people need from me.

I create a space of pure self-empowerment. I empower no one. I only remove the layers of density in place that have convinced my clients of their powerlessness; like Michelangelo released David from the Marble.

I support, assist and facilitate. I facilitate opportunities for experiential exploration, assist is looking/interpreting them and support finding one’s own answers. This is the true Medicine Woman way. Not to fix things, but to allow the Self to realize there is no brokenness to fix.

Having a Medicine Woman support you is rather like the difference between using GPS and a map. GPS will tell you exactly how to get there, with (hopefully) no missteps. It tells you exactly how long it will take there and will suggest detours when delays occur. But with GPS you don’t learn how to navigate your own path.

But a Medicine Woman is like a map. She is a tool that presents  ALL the possible routes to get you where you want to go, which route do YOU want to travel? Which one suits you? If you get caught in a relationship/job/mindset, what way do YOU think is best to continue your journey? You learn how to navigate your own path which is a lifelong beneficial skill.

As always….

I love you.

 

~Jade

 

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.

Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 

To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

My New Year’s Thoughts

I know this may seem late, being it is the second of January already (damn, now its the third), I am right on time.

I spent the days of my holiday weekend with my beloved who was ill. It was good quality time, even though it wasn’t what either of us planned. We had planned to go to a friend’s party on New Year’s Eve and had to switch out for staying home and not even staying up to see the New Year at midnight. (Good thing the New Year was still there when we woke up!! 🙂 )

So, yesterday I just spent the day with my beloved being in the ‘now’. Whatever that meant in the moment and it was truly delicious.

So, today is the day for reflecting back and setting the course of the new year. It first started with the notion to change my word for the year from ‘Discovery’ to ‘Grace’. Why you ask? Because I realized that ‘Discovery’ has a much bigger stage to play on.

Initially I thought of life like school where we are meant to learn and graduate higher and higher. It suited me for awhile until I outgrew it. Then, I realized that life wasn’t about learning so much as it was about unlearning and remembering the truth. My truth. Ah, yes, remembering fit me so much better.

Until it didn’t.

That’s now…when I realized that I’ve moved from learning, to remembering, to discovering. OH MY SELF what an amazing feeling that brings to say out loud! YES!! It is about discovering. Discovering who I am not and defining who I am!

This led to a mission statement/mantra, for the year, and quite possibly for the rest of my life, ‘Surrender with Grace to the Flow of the Tao’. Man I just love saying that. I feel like I’ve been given the golden key to the city of Life.

Surrender

Surrender has different energy for me now, than it once did. Once upon a time, surrender meant giving up or failure. Now it has Peace woven into it and I understand it to indicate an opportunity to cease swimming against the current. My default will be to Surrender to the experience of the moment, whatever it may be.

With Grace

Grace is a new friend to me. She is what I call my Higher Self, my Bliss, my Connectedness. Grace is the highest version of myself. I say ‘Grace’ and immediately I feel connected to the Love of All That Is. I feel Grace in my energetic body. It is the name of the highest vibration I have experienced thus far. Do anything with Grace and I am on the right path.

To The Flow

Flow is another peaceful old friend. Flow and I have been friends for a few years now, but each year we discover new depths to our relationship. I look forward to the same this year, as I understand Flow to include ebbs, which is very different from lack. Ebb is a necessary ingredient in Flow and is as necessary to Life, as hibernation is to the bear.

Of The Tao

Tao is the way (of Life). It is the energy that flows, that Path, the Knowingness. The Tao is what is. It is the heartbeat of Life and when I am connected to It I cannot err, diverge, digress, delay, miss out, mistake or anything else. When I surrender to the Tao with Grace I will always be exactly where I am meant to be.

And so these are my musings on this (now) third day of January. I need to end it here or it will be the 2nd of February!

What are your thoughts on this 2018???

I love you.

~Jade

 

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.
Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 
https://www.facebook.com/Healing-Rite-of-Passage-Me-Treat-Workshop-520376758300839/
To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat Workshop

A facilitated transformational event designed for those feeling disconnected, discontented, depressed, anxious, melancholy, directionless or in some way dissatisfied and seeking a deeper experience of life.

Whether you choose the one day or the two day event, you will experience the Ritual of Joy and the Five Responsibilities of conscious living.

The Healing Rite of Passage Retreat/Workshop promises to be one of the most important things you will ever do for your body, mind AND spirit. Depending on whether you choose the one day or two day event…

  • You will learn how to access your energetic body and clear out blockages and heal wounds. 
  • You will learn to recall your energy from past events and relationships.
  • You will learn new communication techniques that allow you to speak from your spirit and not your ego. 
  • You will develop new relationships with like-minded journeyers. 
  • You will have the experience of living from your spirit. 
  • You will experience shamanic healing.
  • You will experience facilitating healing for others.
  • You will experience a lightness of body, mind and spirit as you release what no longer serves you. 
  • …and so so SO much more.

After the closing ceremony your life will never be the same (unless you choose it to be so).

Next One Day Events:

June 9, 2018

July 14, 2018

Aug 11, 2018

Sept 8, 2018

 

https://www.facebook.com/events/309106519557719/

Surrendering Is Not Giving Up

A deeper more expansive exploration of the earlier post regarding Gratitude and Discomfort. Its write about it or eat my words, so writing I shall do.

For the past year I’ve been working diligently with others (and thus on myself) purging out old stuff held deep in our bodies and energy fields. While we’d like to think alternative and holistic healing can be ‘one and done’ (and sometimes it even seems that way), it is actually a process that needs time to work its magic.

This process has hit a crescendo the past two or three months, bringing on physical ailments I’ve never experienced before in my life and which related not at all to anything going on currently. A couple of days ago I switched supplements to hit these things from a different angle and give my body the physical support it seemed to need.

Today I am flat out.

Motivational quotes like ‘no pain no gain’, ‘winners never quit and quitters never win’ and ‘push through the pain’ go through my brain and I’m torn. I’m tired of feeling tired. I’m tired of paying attention to my body. I’m tired. Maybe its time to just get moving!

And then the words “Gratitude and Discomfort” come to mind…my own words coming to play with me. I know what I need to do. I need to sit with the fatigue and heaviness and just love myself while listening to what my body is telling me.

Last night, in meditation I heard the words ‘turning poison into medicine’, snake medicine. This is a Spirit given gift. One I’ve known I have on the spiritual, energetic and intellectual levels. Doing it physically, though? That was new to me.

So, plowing through it as I’d been inclined to do initially, clearly was not the path to travel. What I needed to do is tap into my body and find out what it needs from me.

Intuitively I know that toxins are being purged and need help being eliminated. So, I added some fiber which will absorb the toxins and expedite them out. I know, too, that a body needs rest when it is so busy like this. I completed my 5 Responsibilities QiGong practice to assist while lying on the grass  – a new position, to be sure, but effective.

I surrendered into what my body was saying and doing, knowing that it knows better than I, what it truly needs.

Thus we come to the difference between surrendering and giving up. To surrender is to allow yourself to become one with the flow (even when that ‘flow’ is actually an ebb). To give up is to go under. To disengage. To resist and let go of possibility.

Surrender is letting go of expectation of outcome and melting into all possibilities.

And I’ll just leave it riiiiiiiight there…..

I love you.

~Jade

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.
 
To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.