Support Female Personal Developers

I’ve been thinking…(uh oh)….

There is an underlying pattern of misogyny in the genre of personal development. It isn’t intentional, mind you. I’m beginning to theorize it as a result of conditioning. Although ‘touchy feely’, ’emotions’ and ‘naval contemplation’ has been ‘seen’ as a woman’s field just google ‘personal development speakers’, or ‘motivational speakers’, or ‘personal transformational speakers’ images and you’ll find the majority are males.

And these males? They collaborate with males. They might have women on their teams behind the scenes but they partner up with males or they cite other male professionals as resources.

But here is where it really hit my heart… as I observe polls asking for recommendations for self-help gurus, the majority of answers, EVEN FROM WOMEN, are men. This is where the real misogyny is taking place.

Confidence and the presentation of it, is at the heart of this.  What do I mean?

Men take up more space and aren’t ashamed of it.

As I watch some of my favorite online male counterparts I am in awe at how some manage to be charmingly cocky (I do not tend to favor cocky otherwise) to kindly confident. They make no apologies. They don’t seem to cater to anyone and they are bold. BOLD. Not as in daring so much as they speak like they know their shit is TRUE. They take up space without asking permission.

As I watch some of the familiar online female counterparts I see some trying to wear men’s pants figuratively and it feels out of place. It comes off cocky and not authentic. It seems like one trying to play like a man as a woman. Rather than just play like a woman.

I am not anti-male, in any shape or form. And I’m not whining about being a woman….I wouldn’t have it any other way. I see the value in balance, but right now there isn’t any balance. Its odd for me to google recognized professional speakers to find male dominance, but see a preponderance of females in the not-so-recognized online world.

I understand nature, so I don’t see this as something ‘contrived’ by humans. Look at almost any species and you’ll find the male dressed in the brightest, boldest colors, loudest call, most aggressive and most recognized. It’s in their nature. The bolder look imprints upon us, so when we think of a peacock it is the male peacock that immediately comes to mind. Same thing for a lion, a cardinal or a deer. Males natural tendency to be more aggressive makes them more notable and memorable.

So, I’m not blaming the men at all.

I just want to bring awareness that just because a female is not all bold and aggressive does not mean she is not as capable of serving, especially in the personal development arena. We have ‘softer’ ways, like the gentler hues of the female peacock vs the bold colors of her male counterpart.

I want to remind my female counterparts that you don’t need to ‘sell out’ to find success. Don’t try on the bold male colors that aren’t your palette. Titles like ‘badass’, ‘gangster’ and ‘warrior’ feel disingenuous to me.  It seems like a false sort of confidence.

Does that make sense? Does anyone else feel the energy incongruence thing happening here?

Confident women, ARE. When I think of confident women in the personal development field I think of Iyanla VanZant, SARK, Brene` Brown, Marianne Williamson, Maya Angelou…just off the top of my head.

I cannot, by any means state that any woman who uses these terms in disingenuous, I’m saying to me it feels like we women have been sold a load of men’s suits and have been trying to tailor them to suit us, rather than just wearing what suits us authentically.

If you are an authentically bold woman with a more masculine energy, GO FOR IT!! But if you are not, please don’t try to emulate a male’s approach to what you are doing. And please don’t think I’m suggesting you just substitute ‘badass’ with ‘goddess’ either. It’s perfectly ok to just BE, without a popular label.

I just want to remind everyone of the abundance of capable, effective and inspiring female personal developers out there and suggest you recommend them to your friends as readily as you do our male counterparts.

Our society is masculine heavy. We NEED a balance of yin and yang to reach our full potential. We NEED the bold brash yang energy of the male workshops that get you all pumped up and ready to break free of the astral gravity holding your ass in the chair in front of the TV. But we also all NEED the gentle beauty of yin energy in the female workshops to get you to really connect with your life force energy.

*Full disclosure, I confess, this post was written mainly for myself, as a reminder to not see my male counterparts as more successful because they are louder and brighter and seem to have more engagement and to quit trying to tailor suits for my womanly shape.

 

~Jade

Jade Willow Song is an Intuitive Qi Therapist who works with individuals seeking healing, clarity and guidance on their life path by facilitating transformational experiences. 

Jade serves others with her experience and education in metaphysics, crystal healing, Reiki, Therapeutic Touch, QiGong, guided visualization and meditation. In addition, Jade is an ordained minister with the Universal Life Church.

Jade holds a Bachelor’s in Social Work as well as certifications in Reiki and Therapeutic Touch. 

Touchy-Feely Never Killed Anyone

The news of the mass shooting in Las Vegas at the Country Fest struck me deep in my empathic center this morning. It has brought to mind a lot of thoughts and I need to get them out.

As I was growing up I often heard, “you’re too sensitive” and “you’re too emotional”. They meant it like there was something wrong with me, and I should change to be more like them. I had feelings and I talked about those feelings. It was no wonder that my dream then was to become a therapist. I wanted to help others talk about their feelings in a safe environment.

While I stopped talking about my feelings to those people, I did not stop expressing my feelings. I expressed them in poems, in short stories and to others who would listen. But along the way, I can’t tell you how many people I came across who said, ”I don’t believe in that touchy-feely shit.” Or claim “I’m not one for touchy-feely stuff.” Or just plain “I’m not a touchy-feely kind of person.” Or “Should we all just hold hands and sing kumbaya?!”

People think touchy-feely-kumbaya people are weak. But they aren’t the ones who break, are they?

Mass shooters, serial killers and mass murderers aren’t the touchy-feely ones. You never hear of a ‘flower child’ suddenly snapping and using a gun against another. Those who commit violent crimes, especially of mass proportions, are the ones who have gone out of their way to avoid touchy-feely. They are the ones who stopped when someone said they were too sensitive or emotional. They were the ones who had no outlet for the organic touchy-feely parts of us.

And you wonder why they pop?

This is a pressure cooker situation we’ve created, of course there will be mounting explosions…

…unless people start getting touchy-feely.

Lately I had been feeling as if the ‘Life Coach’ genre was becoming a bit over saturated and I pondered whether it is just another fad (yes, in part). I will be the first to tell you that half the life coaches I run across, have no business being “Life Coaches”. I use the umbrella term “Life Coaches”, but it includes many other titles, including Spiritual Advisors. Many of these people are carefully camouflaging themselves with touchy-feely leaves whilst not actually dealing with their own stuff in a healthy manner.

There is another breed out there though. Those people who truly are looking to facilitate transformation for others but doing their own touchy-feely stuff as well. People like Kyle Cease who gets on stage and says “hey can you help me process this?” And goes on to stand naked on the square as he works through an issue with an audience member. Him facing his own shit, was the ONLY way that guy from the audience was able to hear the message that was meant for him. Kyle didn’t PRETEND to work through his shit, he authentically did it.

This new breed does deep down dirty touchy-feely work. Its not life coaching and its not therapy. Mystic Midwifery is what I call it, because it is the birth of your authentic self. The one that got put back into the box little by little with phrases like “you can’t do that, you’ll never succeed” or “you need security” or “you’re not good enough” etc…ad nauseam.

There is a plethora of transformational facilitators who are truly motivated and authentic in their practices to assist others in their journey though the rough parts. They do this by demonstrating on a daily basis how they apply certain practices and philosophies in their own life. They don’t take a template and place it over your life, but instead assist you in making your own template. Its about giving you the tools once to use over and over again. Their goal is not about growing a ‘list.’ It’s about being authentic and real, then spreading that.

The numbers of these “Authenticity Coaches” is growing. I don’t think this is a fad, I think it is needed. I think the world is ready for a change and here are the change-makers! Here are the people ready to hold space for others to relieve the pressure in that pressure cooker. Here are the people ready to say “you are sensitive, here’s how we manage that”, “here are the tools to express your emotions”, people ready to throw touchy-feely life preservers.

We don’t need gun control, we need emotion control. We need cohesion. We need community. We NEED transformation.

As I sat at a bonfire this weekend, it occurred to me that sitting around a campfire was a part of everyday life for our ancestors. It was around the fire that feelings were shared, stories of experiences were shared and bonds were built. It was built in touchy-feely time. Silence was not uncomfortable as everyone gazed into the hypnotic flames of the fire. This was meditation for our many of our Western ancestors.

Then came the radio which provided a more entertaining form of gathering. People gathered around the radio listening to the news and shows, but then talked about it. It wasn’t a diversionary tactic, it was a tool. It was used purposely and then put away.

With the inventions of whole house furnaces, making fireplaces a luxury and TV providing distraction (and becoming addictive), the organic ways our families and communities bonded, decompressed and meditated disappeared. As a result our society is disintegrating. Literally dis-integrating. Even weekend bonfire are an excuse to party, not to be bond and connect. With of course the exception of certain religious sects where it fire has retained it’s sacred purpose. And again, it is not those people who end up in the headlines as murderers.

Its time to get back to touchy-feely.

Its time to embrace the transformation movement, because if EVER we needed a transformation it is NOW. I don’t want to see how far things can get. I don’t want to the worst humans can do to one another. I’ve seen enough.

I’ll close with this, only because I didn’t know where else to put it. I’ve heard so many people make statements around how they were raised ‘tough’ or how they avoid expressing emotion and then they end that statement with “…and I turned out just fine.”

It never ever fails. My only thought in response to that is, “did ya, though?”

I love you.

~Jade

If you are looking for a L(i)fe Force Energy Healing Session please email me at jadewillowsong@gmail.com. I work with all budgets so please do not let temporary financial resource blockages stop you from taking this step.

Beautiful – It’s Not What You Think

IMG_20170904_104700I love to do a good face mask. My favorite is Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay mask made from Calcium Bentonite Clay. I love it because I feel like it actually digs deep down and pulls stuff out of my pores and afterwards my skin glows. I find it an analogy for so many things. Digging the crap out of your internal psychoemotional pores and sloughing off the dead surface layer to allow the deeper radiance to shine through.

Its also an analogy for something else. As I endeavor to do more videos, I am more aware of my appearance and notice myself weighing this feature against another when setting things up. I often opt out of doing a video because I don’t feel like showering and putting on make up. As I looked into the mirror while putting on the mask and cherishing this moment of indulgence, it hit me.

Not all moments of beauty are beautiful.

To prove it, I took this picture. (This face never fails to make my hubby laugh.) Aside from that though it caused me to think about other non-beautiful moments of beauty. Pictures like that fireman carrying the child on 9/11, or childbirth, or a mother’s face just after giving birth as she holds her newborn all sweaty and fatigued.

But there are many many MANY more non-beautiful moments of beauty that we can’t take pictures of and might not even recognize as such. Moments of ferreting out those thoughts, beliefs and emotional patterns that don’t serve our spiritual destiny. Ugly stuff. It feels uncomfortable, awkward and sometimes seemingly painful, but in the end the beauty it creates in our lives is limitless. Without these non-beautiful moments of beauty we could not explore our true beauty.

Right now, I guarantee there are non-beautiful moments going on right now in your life that you can’t embrace for their hidden beauty. I know I have a shit-ton of them right now and I was completely overlooking them.

As a Intuitive Spiritual Transformation Facilitator I fall into the trap often of thinking I need to present a ‘perfect package’, like so many others do, to prove I’ve ‘made it’ and therefore worthy of getting paid to walk with others on their journey. Pfft, as if there were a landing space called ‘success’ in life! There are no landing places. This is a journey and there are hills, valleys, mountains, curves and steep grades, but no landing places. We stop to catch our breath then we keep moving. The only landing place is the present moment we are in. In each present moment there are gifts…some are beauties and some are uglies.

Instead of hiding mine, I’m going to share and I hope you will too. Getting the uglies out into the daylight can help us see their hidden beauty. Here we go…

These are the Uglies I can get caught up in: My husband had a brainstem stroke in January of this year. He is the bread winner of the family currently as I struggle to get my business going. My daughter has been in a dark place since her father died a year ago. I’m in court fighting his deathbed widow over my own retirement funds. As a result of a kylego I created, envisioned and organized an amazing two day transformational retreat/workshop. Despite my excitement and  forward feeling of achievement not one person has registered. My husband is in construction and we got stiffed just under $7,000 on a tiling job this month. Subsequently, our mortgage automatic payment bounced. I broke a tooth about a month ago and made arrangements to pay half at the first visit and half at the second visit to get it fixed. Because of being stiffed we didn’t have the resources to go back for the second visit.

Now here are the beauties that have shown up as a result: My husband’s recovery has been amazing. With a combination of mindset work and energy healing work he was the shortest stay in the rehab unit they have ever had. He went back to work the Monday after he was released, with caution. He was back to driving within months. The lasting effects are minimal and isolated mostly to short term memory loss and expressive communication. My daughter has moved back home to heal from her loss and has turned a corner in the darkness that grief can be. I just won an important appeal in my court case. Although right now no one else will experience my amazing retreat I have done some really phenomenal work creating interactive, reflective and transformative individual, paired and group exercises all ready and waiting to go for future retreats/workshops and client work. The best part is that I got to do that creating. The only thing I love more than creating transformative experiences is facilitating them for people. Despite getting stiffed on $7,000 worth of work, we kept the lights on. We didn’t miss the mortgage payment, because although the one contractor failed to pay, my hubby had secured another job. It was enough to cover that mortgage payment (the deposit was made hours after the automatic payment was kicked) as well as some other necessities.  My temporary crown is holding nicely and we shall soon have enough money for me to go back for the permanent one because work is lined up.

I can even go back further to three years ago when I quit my 28 year career to move across two states where we bought a house with no money and no credit; and when I had fibromyalgia and was living with an average daily pain of 7-8, to now when my average daily experience is a pain level 1 with no meds.

I could go back even further because at 53 I’ve come a long long way baby…but I won’t. 🙂

The point is we have a tendency at times to define our journeys by the distance we have yet to go, and by lamenting things that don’t show up the way we think they need to and thus overlooking the multitude of ways we manifest abundance and miracles. When you are stuck in “what am I doing wrong that I can’t manifest what I want” remember your ‘success’ is about the distance travelled not the distance yet to go…

*Please share your ‘uglies’ either in words or pictures below! Let’s all be real and share our non-beautiful moments of beauty with each other!

Online Transformational Retreat In Progress

Brave memeAs an option for those who cannot make the Healing Rite of Passage Me-treat Workshop due to distance, finances or scheduling I am considering creating a different container to hold space for similar transforming/healing online.

Of course it would be vastly different as the face to face experience is filled with face to face stuff, like energy work with partners, real time releasing and vocalizing of emotions and situations, real time introspective exercises with small groups/partners, meditation time, real time visualizations, communication exercises and relationship building.

I have been asked if I considered doing an online version of the Me-treat Workshop instead. The answer is no, because I see the need now for real skin to skin contact in our world, however there’s nothing saying I can’t do something else and make it work for the online world.

If you would be interested in learning more about this as it is created and want to be kept in the loop (perhaps even part of the creation process) then email me at jadewillowsong@gmail.com.

As a thank you I’ll send you the script for my newest visualization (from the Healing Rite of Passage) to heal the blockages of ‘not letting go, not being able to ask for help and not feeling good enough’.

~Jade

Is This You Or Someone You Know?

Does anyone ever feel like they’re just not meant for this life? I know how blessed I am. I live in a developed country, I have a family, friends, a house, animals who I adore and a job. Everything people who are less fortunate would die for. But I’m still not happy. I feel so forced. I just want to be running wild and free, a natural woman, with animals and living off the land. I don’t want the troubles of money, the social media, the modern life. Is that really even natural for humans? Is anyone really comfortable living like this or is it just something we have to accept because everyone else does. My head hurts because it just can’t cope with what society wants from me  ☹️” ~Woman A
“Im with you! Feels so pointless and empty at times. On my good days [I’m trying to] work towards a more fulfilling life but am not really sure how to get there or if its worth it etc etc. Its is society not us thats wrong, take each day as it comes is all you can do. Stay strong we will get there…x Woman B in response to woman A
“Can I ask for guidance again? My mother wasn’t the warmest individual growing up. She’s someone multiple therapists have told me to cut out of my life, even if it’s just until I’m stronger. I’ve gone through much of my adult life in an off and on relationship with her because of her controlling nature. When I was a child I was often compared to other children and asked why I can’t be like someone else’s kid or why their kid, who’s “slow” (her words, not mine) would be doing better than me. I was locked in closets, kicked out of the house at night, told she wished I wasn’t hers, which didn’t end until 7th grade…”~Woman C

Is this you or someone you know? This is just a sampling of what I’ve been hearing lately. We as woman have suffered under patriarchy. That is not a feminist or anti-masculine thing. We can only survive in a balanced society and this is NOT that!

This feeling, THIS longing, THIS UNSETTLING is why the Healing Rite of Passage was created. Men and woman are invited to join in the Feminine Rising that this will be. Its not male bashing and it isn’t ‘woman stuff’ it is just a connecting to the feminine yin energies that have been ignored for centuries now. We need to connect to Mother Earth AND Father Sky. To Grandmother Moon AND Grandfather Sun. We can ONLY be our highest selves, live the highest version of our lives and have the grandest experiences when we are balanced in masculine and feminine energies.

We HAVE to heal the wounds of the past that keep harming us. You don’t know how to ‘get there’ because no one taught you to look inside yourself. And you can’t do it with the eyes that society has taught you to look through. It has set you up to fail.

There is SO much you can do to get so much more out of life! I can help you unlearn everything you’ve learned that is actually getting in your way. You have to go deeper than just meditating and gratitude journalling. You have to unravel all the manipulative programming EGOS set in play. You have learn the truth about how the Universe works by understanding and working WITH (not against) the three Universal Laws and their seven principles.

Universal Laws

Take a step today and reserve your spot or contact Jade Willow Song for more information, right now!

When: September 16 & 17, 2017
Where: Waterford, Michigan
Early Bird Registration: $500*
Registration after September 1, 2017: $675*

For Tickets: https://squareup.com/store/judy-klemos

Recommended affordable nearby accommodations: http://www.oldemillinnofclarkston.com/

*Introductory prices only- 2018 prices are $675 and $800

Holistic Health Care

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Holistic PSA: I am a holistic practitioner. I do energy work and work of the soul because that is where dis-ease and dis-orders stem from.

There is more to health-care than allopathic intervention. The statement ”there is nothing more to do than symptom management” is the first true statement they can make. In chronic and some acute cases, all allopathic does really is manage symptoms. That is OK in the short term, but Holistic medicine, focuses on the root cause so that acute doesn’t become chronic…and in holistic intervention, there is no such thing as idiopathic.
Do you know what ‘idiopathic’ means? “Relating to or denoting any disease or condition that arises spontaneously or for which the cause is unknown.” So when you have a diagnosis of idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis you have a dis-ease in which tissue deep in your lungs becomes thick and stiff, or scarred, over time, and no one is concerned with addressing a cause…
About 3/4 of the way through writing this I turned on the DVR to have Adam Ruins everything on in the background. I didn’t know the topic of this episode. Guess what? Its about the allopathic healthcare system. Hello Universe! Thank you for providing me resources! Please take less than an hour of your life for education. Adam Ruins Everything: Hospitals
I highly recommend homeopathy, Chinese medicine, energy and soul work (ESPECIALLY for idiopathic and chronic diagnosis!)
You can harness your body’s natural healing power to overcome things that modern medicine has had no success in treating.
Not to mention preventing many of those dis-eases and dis-orders from even developing by exploring the soul, emotional or mental roots!
Energy and soul work can be done remotely, so no matter where you live, I can help. Also, my retreat-workshop Healing Rite of Passage would certainly be of benefit to you! We will be doing lots of healing!

A rite of passage, by definition, is a ceremony or event marking an important stage in someone’s life. If you are ready for the past to be the past, to release old relationships and wounds, or just take the opportunity to give your spirit the intensive care it needs, then reserve your spot in our Transformation Circle today. 

When: September 16 & 17, 2017
Where: Waterford, Michigan
Early Bird Registration: $500*
Registration after September 1, 2017: $675*

For Tickets: https://squareup.com/store/judy-klemos

Recommended affordable nearby accommodations: http://www.oldemillinnofclarkston.com/

*Introductory prices – 2018 prices are $675 and $800

Healing Rite of Passage Retreat/Workshop

58957_1451367004156_1754294_n“I ate once. It didn’t work. I was hungry again in a couple of hours.” 

You never hear anyone saying that, do you? But ask about meditation, or yoga or journalling and that is a very common answer. 

Body, Mind and Spirit…that’s what we are. We are a carefully constructed mechanism made up of these three compartments. Without any one of these we cease to exist. 

REALLY. Think about that for a minute. 

It is pretty clear when your body is hungry for food or thirsty for water. You then have the choice of what to provide; healthy food and pure water or junk food and pop. You feed it and then what? You have to do it again a couple hours later. 

Your body also hungers for air and that is one you cannot ignore at all. Again, it is a constant give and take, not a one and done deal.

Your body also hungers for movement, but that’s subtle and easier to ignore than the need for food or water. Those into physical fitness know that regular exercise is necessary for a healthy body…none of them ever expect one workout to be enough. When you ignore the need for movement, you start experiencing more symptoms of aging and physical breakdown. 

Do you see where I’m going with this, yet?

Your mind also has needs. It hungers for new information to process, good books to read, interesting studies and, of course, fulfilling work. It isn’t enough for you to just intake new goodness, but its important to share as well with others in good conversations, social settings and a job that allows you to teach or share something. 

When you try to ignore this aspect of yourself, it looks like addiction: binge watching TV, pharmaceuticals, recreational drugs, sex, smoking, shopping, etc…

Your spirit also has needs. Your spirit is the energetic body and it hungers for connection and love. It is the part of you that makes you, ‘You’. It is by far the ‘easiest’ to ignore but with the most detrimental of consequences.

When you ignore this aspect of yourself it shows up as depression, anxiety, idiopathic chronic dis-ease, drug abuse, alcoholism, cancer, etc…

Notice with the body and mind that there are things we do DAILY to nourish and replenish them: exercise, hygiene, sleep, food, water, work, entertainment, even education.

But, for some, spirit is expected to exist on merely one hour, one day a week of nourishment! 

There is no doubt that the body is more fragile than the mind or the spirit, which is why there are such clear cues as to when it needs to be fed, watered or aired. Yet, still a person whose spirit is considerably neglected will develop things like anorexia or suicidal ideation which is counter intuitive (and overrides the desire) for physical survival. 

Ok so now, over the course of your life, how much time has been dedicated to the care and feeding of your spirit compared to your body and mind? 

Get a calendar, I’ll wait…

We both know over the course of your life you have neglected your spirit far more than you have neglected your mind and your body, right?


Not saying you haven’t neglected them too, but by and large most people neglect their spirit most of all. 

As I said, the spirit is the energetic body of the body/mind/spirit combo, therefore whatever happens to the body and mind affects the spirit and vice verse. When we experience trauma, grief, or other emotional pain we experience it in all three aspects, but again it is usually just the body and mind that get the attention for healing. This means that there are all kinds of leftovers in our spirit refrigerator that need clearing out. 

Again, this is not a one and done thing. Even when we think we’ve processed effectively, every time we think about the event and it brings up emotions in response we are re-experiencing the event and therefore causing more harm that needs to be healed. We are calling back the energy of that event and storing it in our energetic body.

This is why The Healing Rite of Passage Retreat/Workshop promises to be one of the most important things you will ever do for your body, mind AND spirit. 

  • You will learn how to access your energetic body and clear out blockages and heal wounds. 
  • You will learn new communication techniques that allow you to speak from your spirit and not your ego. 
  • You will develop new relationships with like-minded journeyers. 
  • You will have the experience of living from your spirit for two days. 
  • You will experience shamanic healing.
  • You will experience facilitating healing for others.
  • You will experience a lightness of body, mind and spirit as you release what no longer serves you. 
  • …and so so SO much more.

And after the closing ceremony your life will never be the same (unless you choose it to be so).

A rite of passage, by definition, is a ceremony or event marking an important stage in someone’s life. If you are ready for the past to be the past, to release old relationships and wounds, or just take the opportunity to give your spirit the intensive care it needs, then you need to reserve your spot in our Transformation Circle today. 

When: September 16 & 17, 2017
Where: Waterford, Michigan
Early Bird Registration: $500
Registration after September 1, 2017: $675

For tickets: https://squareup.com/store/judy-klemos

Recommended affordable nearby accommodations

http://www.oldemillinnofclarkston.com/

The Secret Misogyny

Um ok. I don’t know exactly how to discuss this out loud here. So that means this is exactly where the discussion needs to happen.

 

I’m about to talk about ‘The Secret’.

 

I never read the book. I had never seen the movie…until today. I don’t know why I felt the urge to watch it today other than I was looking for documentary-ish enlightening sort of things and I thought maybe I’d watch to see if my impressions of it are accurate.

 

Let me explain. I’ve never wanted to watch it because it was ‘pop culture’. Anything that has become a fad usually is not something that resonates with me. I find mass acceptance is just the flip side of mob mentality, no thank you. In addition, what I witnessed from other people who drank The Secret kool-aid, seemed to be of the notion that thinking positive is the magical answer to whatever ails you.

 

I know better.

 

I haven’t finished watching it yet, and I may never (but right now its still playing)…I’m disgusted. Really. Really disgusted.

 

So, far it is doing nothing more than supporting the notion that we are not complete in and of ourselves. It supports the notion that we need ‘something else’ to make us happy and whole, by its teaching of how to achieve that ‘something’. Furthermore, from what I’ve seen thus far its focus is solely on materialism.

 

My initial impressions were dead on. Its simplistic and in my opinion still keeps the REAL secret a secret. There are three Universal Laws, (not just Attraction) and there are seven contributing principles. (Full disclosure, these are MY framework of understanding. Other people have as many as twelve laws and no principles.) by not explaining the other Universal Laws that are equally important and work together with LOA to find the happiness of life.

 

Second (and this is something I have never heard anyone speak to and that is disgusting to me) why are there predominantly white males who ‘know’ the secret?

There are two women and I think three people of color in the ‘teachers’. How has no one mentioned this?

 

Rhonda Byrne wrote it! Why is it that we need 1) men of 2) light skin to give it validation? Granted this was 11 years ago but that really isn’t that long ago, that this should be so prevalent! Where are Iyanla VanZant, SARK, Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Marianne Williamson just to name a few? Why do we constantly give up ‘experting’ to the men? Seriously, ladies we need to look at our biases! We see other women as competition and support the men! Do you not see how self-defeating this is?

 

We will never be whole while we keep giving our power away!!! And the power of validation is incredible!

(Think of it like celebrity endorsements – the product may or may not be awful but if a celeb endorses it people will buy it). We give away our power when believe something just because some celeb (or white guy) says it!

 

When I look to see who comes up when I google ‘motivational speakers’ again I see a sea of male faces! A disproportionate representation of what I see out here in the trenches! This reminds me of the irony, of all famous chefs being male, while cooking has been viewed as ‘women’s work’ in most cultures, forever.

 

I see NO men in these trenches out here! I see none. Not one in my groups. Not one in other groups (ok, maybe ONE) and not one in my feed here on Facebook.

 

Unless this movie ends with ‘and the real secret is about creating inner peace’ then I am sticking by my original dispassion for it. In fact, heighten that dispassion, because I have this still running as I’m typing this and only more white men are showing up.

 

Ok, 36 mins in and I’m done. I can’t watch anymore of this!

 

I’m not male bashing.

Not. At. All.

I AM doing two things 1) advocating for co-creation and all that means, and 2) imploring women to stop giving away their power through their conditioned bias.

Why do we (as women) put our money towards elevating men over women? When you, as a woman, are asked who inspires you, whose resource do you provide? Who’s name falls off your tongue and across your lips first? Wayne Dyer? Tony Robbins? Rev. Dr. Michael Beckwith? Kyle Cease?

Life is about balance and until we can achieve a healthy balance of male/female our lives will not be peace filled. We need to balance our own feminine and masculine energy so that the feminine and masculine can be balanced in our world as well.

As women we ‘claim’ sisterhood, but then we tear each other down quicker than you can spit. And I know why. The current establishment likes it that way. The men currently yield more power, times are changing though so they devise things to pit women against one another if they want to be accepted into the boy’s club. That’s where it started. Then they tried to turn us into men by taking our demand to be treated equally to mean ‘the same’.

Anyway, I am on a mission now to spread my message across the land. The message of new healing. Healing the old systems that continue to keep the wounds fresh and open. Healing the old systems that continue to wound over and over again in new ways. Healing the gaps between men and women.

My workshops are and always will be open to men and women, because until we are all healed, none of us are healed.

In the comments below please take a moment to plug some of your favorite inspiring women (famous or not yet famous), include their names and links to their websites, Facebook page, or other social media connection.

(And please, watch Happy instead of The Secret, and take my self-study course which gives the whole secret and nothing but the secret! xoxox)

~Jade

Three Years of Healing

I don’t even have enough words to tell you how much I love my life. 

Three years ago, I felt debilitated. Not many know that, as I never wanted pain to get in my way of living, but everyday was a struggle. What I felt almost on a daily basis like getting the flu body aches two days after having done a super hard work out at the gym. The body aches often felt like my muscles were being ripped from my bones with each step I took. By the end of a day of work, trumping up my apartment stairs and walking the dogs took the last ounces of energy I had. So cooking was done on a large scale, twice a week, maybe three times. I cooked in large quantities and we ate leftovers all week. 

I hurt everywhere all the time. The best way I can describe it is to say that on the average my pain was at a seven or eight on a daily basis, with really bad days at ten and would have me calling off work. On top of the fibromyalgia I had migraines.

 

Just three years ago.

To some that might seem a long time. To others that might sound like a day. What you don’t know know is that this is something I was battling for almost fifteen years before that. It started with gaining weight and not being able to sleep.
Over the course of those fifteen years I dedicated my life to healthy living. I sorted fads from fact, embraced alternative perspectives and double checked every resource to guard against bias. I combined energetic, allopathic, naturopathic, and homeopathic.
Looking back, as dedicated as I was, I can see now that despite my best efforts, I was taking two steps forward and four steps back.
Doing things like leaving my 20 year marriage and changing jobs helped me gain some ground, but it wasn’t enough. While one thing would heal, more symptoms would move to the forefront, resulting in the final diagnosis of fibromyalgia.
I never ever stopped believing though; all the Universal Laws and Principles held me fast. Just because I wasn’t seeing the results I intended, didn’t shake my faith in my understanding how this Universe works.

My faith is bigger than my experience.

However, I never got comfortable one landing place. I was always using the opportunity to learn and evolve more. Again, I separated fad from fact and in some cases from the fanatical. I took volumes of notes, digested them and pared them all down to simple no-nonsense experiential interventions.  Faith doesn’t have a landing place either. One does not simply remain with the childhood structure you were spoon fed; that would be irresponsible. You must explore all other alternatives so that you know that which you hold, is the most fitting treasure.
Faith has to be bigger than your experience or it isn’t faith, its logic.
Faith is doing something you know is good for you even if it doesn’t land you the results you most wish. It keeps me eating healthy even though the scale does not move. It keeps me walking even when it sometimes hurts more for a short time. It keeps me doing QiGong even though it hurts to stand that long.

What?

Yes.

Remember when I told you I love my life? Now we are getting to the heart of it.

While three years ago I felt debilitated, I no longer do. On a daily basis my pain level is on average a one. When I stand too long or go grocery shopping it can shoot up to an eight or even as high as ten. When I allow myself to get chilled, it skyrockets as well.

But that’s not all I love about my life.

Now, this is the part where so many of my colleagues would list things like million dollar homes, five figure monthly incomes, constant client flow or about half a dozen other ‘measures of success’ they think is enviable.

That’s not me though.

I like to give the whole picture, not just the shiny parts, because it isn’t the results that are important, but I’ll go into that in a moment…

Three years ago I walked out of a traditional color by numbers life, into a life I had never even imagined. I never did a vision board about it. I didn’t visualize it.

It came to me because I aligned myself which opened up the pathway for my life to find me.

Right now, I don’t have a million dollar house. I have a house we bought as a foreclosure and we haven’t finished rehabbing it yet. For the most part we do ok. When I look back on last year though, I realize we are doing far better than we were! Oh yeah, and my beloved had a stroke this past January (2017).

How can I love my life, you ask?

Because it isn’t about the results. Results can be shaded and highlighted to give you a false picture. Like those colleagues that tell you they ‘manifested a million dollar house’ but don’t tell you they are renting it. (Not that there is anything wrong with renting it, but that part is always left out.)

Results ebb and flow. Sometimes there will be shit tons of money flowing in and sometimes it will be flowing out. I’ll always be grateful for both.

My life is amazing. I have met and married the love of my life. A love that feels like home. Our relationship is far and away beyond anything I ever dreamt possible. Honestly, even with all my powers of visualization I could not have realized that this man was what I needed. We bought a house without the help of a financial institution. He has a steady influx of business and even when he had his stroke we have all we need and quite a lot of what we want.

Since I mentioned it, let’s talk about the stroke, for a minute. I know some are inclined to look at such a thing as a failure of LOA; that what I preach isn’t working, because if it did it would’ve protected us from such an event. But that isn’t how Life (or LOA for that matter) works. It really isn’t.

This beloved man that came into my life so late (yet right on time) had a small stroke in his brainstem on January 19, 2017. In case you don’t know, a ‘small’ stroke is not indicative of how much damage is done. It has to do with where the stroke occurred; in the small or large blood vessels. That said, the damage Chris has sustained was minimal and he’s recovered most of that. He got just enough of a scare that he started taking his health seriously. The things that remain impaired are serving as daily reminders of his need to put his health first.

There’s even more. My daughter who was struggling with so very much for these same three years has come through her dark night of the soul and promises to fulfill the Source potential within her. She has more clarity, passion and inspiration than ever before in her life. I literally have never been more proud of her.

You see the Universal Laws, Life, Awakening, Enlightenment etc.. aren’t about ‘manifesting only good stuff’; they are about establishing a structure that enables us to see the ‘bad’ stuff is just as valuable.

That’s the deal. To keep doing what you know is in alignment even when it doesn’t render you the results you intended.

Three years of healing has brought me here. To this amazing moment. A moment where I am fully aware at all times of all possibilities and am excited for the next and all its possibilities.

There is SOOOOOOOOO much that goes into Life it can’t even be summed up in one post, maybe not even one book. However, I will try to cover everything in my upcoming events, starting with the Healing Rite of Passage on September 16th and 17th, 2017. If you are interested please make sure to contact us for details and to reserve your spot.

Always The Teacher, Forever A Student

PSA to ALL coaches: business, life, copy editing, marketing, spiritual,(insert any other kind here) and anyone looking to hire one.

 

The moment you forget you are also a student, is the moment you cease to be a teacher. ~Jade Klemos

 

I’m beginning to understand why people become a ‘coach’s coach’. Speaking about the online world of life, spiritual and business coaching right now, I feel the popular ones are not awesome and the awesome ones are not well known.

 

Those who are really BIG (aka not online) don’t do one on ones, they can’t. In some way they delegate it out by doing large group things with facilitators, write books, do shows, etc… TOTALLY awesome! But then, who is left to give that personal one on one that can be so valuable in certain stages? We all have a place in this world, and there is more than enough for all of us, that isn’t what this is about. Right now, I’m feeling responsible for my peers…the ones that aren’t really ready to be coaches yet…

 

Its not enough to just be my amaZING self! I want others to be amaZING too! I want to share everything I have learned, that took my life from a container so small that it was strangling my spirit, to a limitless container that enables my spirit to soar and shine.

 

 

Many of you know my story, many of you don’t and most of you have never heard of me. Believe me…I’m trying to remedy that! 🙂 I’ve been just about everywhere. I’ve been standing on a train track staring at the oncoming train with eyes full of pain and tears of relief. I’ve been all alone in a crisis with my child. I unlearned how to not say no. (You might have to read that last one a few times. I get it, but in truth that’s how it is. We are taught how NOT to say no, so we have to unlearn not saying no so we can understand how to say yes to ourselves.) I walked out of my 20 year marriage after over two decades of emotional, financial and psychological abuse. I’ve been at the register when they pulled out the scissors (you either know what that means or you don’t.) I’ve pretty much been just about anywhere you can imagine.

 

 

And yes, I got myself here. Here in a place where there are no scissors (ok I do have scissors but not SCISSORS), no churning stomach all the time, no butterflies of fear, no being alone in a crisis not knowing how to handle it and a place of saying YES to myself all day, everyday for the rest of time. And absolutely no more standing on train tracks. I got here by understanding how I got to each of those other places, so I never go there again. I learned.

 

 

But I didn’t land there.

 

 

I didn’t just figure out how I got there and poof I was ‘done’. I also didn’t figure out my how and then sell it to others as the answer for them.

 

I figured out how to assist others in figuring out their own how, too. Because, while our essences are similar they are not the same. I don’t teach anyone how I did what I did. I teach others how to find their own way. Make their own path out. I have the tools I’ve collected. I’ll assist. But its really not YOUR path if I’m designing it, is it? And that’s what I’m about…helping others design their own Sacred Path.

 

As a Human BEING Coach I want to share. My life only gets HUGER when I do! Not everyone will resonate with my style. Not everyone will need one on one work. Not everyone will need the same thing, so a multitude of coaches – AWESOME coaches – must be available to meet the need!

 

I KNOW they are out there, but these other coaches…these not yet ready to be coaches…are creating other problems. And they don’t need to! They’d be so great if they could just get out of their own way. Stop hanging out in EGOS and start really connecting with spirit at those moments! 

 

Coaches, please be humble enough to look at yourself and see if you are really ready to help others create their own Sacred Path, not recreate your own. If you are unsure, please find a coach who is; one who is not trying to recreate you in their own image.

 

If you are sure you are not just recreating your own path for others, double check.

 

Coaches: 

Stay grounded.

Emanate from your heart.

Understand you never ‘land’.

You are always the teacher.

You are always the student.

The moment you forget one, you cease being both.

 

Seekers, please empower yourselves enough to know you have the wisdom within you to find the right coach for you. Use your smarts, but use your heart too. Don’t fall for the candy in the window…photo shoots are sculpted to sell you their lifestyle. Don’t fall for the fancy house, cars, first class airplane seats. All staging. Look for someone who shows you the inside of their life, watch how they interact in their group. Do they have substance or do they just talk about having substance? Choose someone who walks their talk…

 

Seekers:

Stay empowered – no one can ’empower you’, but you.

Emanate from your heart – don’t fall for FOMO, there’s no such thing.

Understand you never ‘land’ – this is human evolution.

You are always learning.

You are always teaching.

The moment you forget one, you fail to do either.

~Jade