The Secret Misogyny

Um ok. I don’t know exactly how to discuss this out loud here. So that means this is exactly where the discussion needs to happen.

 

I’m about to talk about ‘The Secret’.

 

I never read the book. I had never seen the movie…until today. I don’t know why I felt the urge to watch it today other than I was looking for documentary-ish enlightening sort of things and I thought maybe I’d watch to see if my impressions of it are accurate.

 

Let me explain. I’ve never wanted to watch it because it was ‘pop culture’. Anything that has become a fad usually is not something that resonates with me. I find mass acceptance is just the flip side of mob mentality, no thank you. In addition, what I witnessed from other people who drank The Secret kool-aid, seemed to be of the notion that thinking positive is the magical answer to whatever ails you.

 

I know better.

 

I haven’t finished watching it yet, and I may never (but right now its still playing)…I’m disgusted. Really. Really disgusted.

 

So, far it is doing nothing more than supporting the notion that we are not complete in and of ourselves. It supports the notion that we need ‘something else’ to make us happy and whole, by its teaching of how to achieve that ‘something’. Furthermore, from what I’ve seen thus far its focus is solely on materialism.

 

My initial impressions were dead on. Its simplistic and in my opinion still keeps the REAL secret a secret. There are three Universal Laws, (not just Attraction) and there are seven contributing principles. (Full disclosure, these are MY framework of understanding. Other people have as many as twelve laws and no principles.) by not explaining the other Universal Laws that are equally important and work together with LOA to find the happiness of life.

 

Second (and this is something I have never heard anyone speak to and that is disgusting to me) why are there predominantly white males who ‘know’ the secret?

There are two women and I think three people of color in the ‘teachers’. How has no one mentioned this?

 

Rhonda Byrne wrote it! Why is it that we need 1) men of 2) light skin to give it validation? Granted this was 11 years ago but that really isn’t that long ago, that this should be so prevalent! Where are Iyanla VanZant, SARK, Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Marianne Williamson just to name a few? Why do we constantly give up ‘experting’ to the men? Seriously, ladies we need to look at our biases! We see other women as competition and support the men! Do you not see how self-defeating this is?

 

We will never be whole while we keep giving our power away!!! And the power of validation is incredible!

(Think of it like celebrity endorsements – the product may or may not be awful but if a celeb endorses it people will buy it). We give away our power when believe something just because some celeb (or white guy) says it!

 

When I look to see who comes up when I google ‘motivational speakers’ again I see a sea of male faces! A disproportionate representation of what I see out here in the trenches! This reminds me of the irony, of all famous chefs being male, while cooking has been viewed as ‘women’s work’ in most cultures, forever.

 

I see NO men in these trenches out here! I see none. Not one in my groups. Not one in other groups (ok, maybe ONE) and not one in my feed here on Facebook.

 

Unless this movie ends with ‘and the real secret is about creating inner peace’ then I am sticking by my original dispassion for it. In fact, heighten that dispassion, because I have this still running as I’m typing this and only more white men are showing up.

 

Ok, 36 mins in and I’m done. I can’t watch anymore of this!

 

I’m not male bashing.

Not. At. All.

I AM doing two things 1) advocating for co-creation and all that means, and 2) imploring women to stop giving away their power through their conditioned bias.

Why do we (as women) put our money towards elevating men over women? When you, as a woman, are asked who inspires you, whose resource do you provide? Who’s name falls off your tongue and across your lips first? Wayne Dyer? Tony Robbins? Rev. Dr. Michael Beckwith? Kyle Cease?

Life is about balance and until we can achieve a healthy balance of male/female our lives will not be peace filled. We need to balance our own feminine and masculine energy so that the feminine and masculine can be balanced in our world as well.

As women we ‘claim’ sisterhood, but then we tear each other down quicker than you can spit. And I know why. The current establishment likes it that way. The men currently yield more power, times are changing though so they devise things to pit women against one another if they want to be accepted into the boy’s club. That’s where it started. Then they tried to turn us into men by taking our demand to be treated equally to mean ‘the same’.

Anyway, I am on a mission now to spread my message across the land. The message of new healing. Healing the old systems that continue to keep the wounds fresh and open. Healing the old systems that continue to wound over and over again in new ways. Healing the gaps between men and women.

My workshops are and always will be open to men and women, because until we are all healed, none of us are healed.

In the comments below please take a moment to plug some of your favorite inspiring women (famous or not yet famous), include their names and links to their websites, Facebook page, or other social media connection.

(And please, watch Happy instead of The Secret, and take my self-study course which gives the whole secret and nothing but the secret! xoxox)

~Jade

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