Healing Rites of Passage

I love to do a good face mask. My favorite is Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay mask made from Calcium Bentonite Clay. I love it because I feel like it actually digs deep down and pulls stuff out of my pores and afterwards my skin glows. I find it an analogy for so many things. Digging the crap out of your internal psychoemotional pores and sloughing off the dead surface layer to allow the deeper radiance to shine through.

Its also an analogy for something else. As I endeavor to do more videos, I am more aware of my appearance and notice myself weighing this feature against another when setting things up. I often opt out of doing a video because I don’t feel like showering and putting on make up. As I looked into the mirror while putting on the mask and cherishing this moment of indulgence, it hit me.

Not all moments of beauty are beautiful.

To prove it, I took this picture. (This face never fails to make my hubby laugh.) Aside from that though it caused me to think about other non-beautiful moments of beauty. Pictures like that fireman carrying the child on 9/11, or childbirth, or a mother’s face just after giving birth as she holds her newborn all sweaty and fatigued.

But there are many many MANY more non-beautiful moments of beauty that we can’t take pictures of and might not even recognize as such. Moments of ferreting out those thoughts, beliefs and emotional patterns that don’t serve our spiritual destiny. Ugly stuff. It feels uncomfortable, awkward and sometimes seemingly painful, but in the end the beauty it creates in our lives is limitless. Without these non-beautiful moments of beauty we could not explore our true beauty.

Right now, I guarantee there are non-beautiful moments going on right now in your life that you can’t embrace for their hidden beauty. I know I have a shit-ton of them right now and I was completely overlooking them.

As a Intuitive Spiritual Transformation Facilitator I fall into the trap often of thinking I need to present a ‘perfect package’, like so many others do, to prove I’ve ‘made it’ and therefore worthy of getting paid to walk with others on their journey. Pfft, as if there were a landing space called ‘success’ in life! There are no landing places. This is a journey and there are hills, valleys, mountains, curves and steep grades, but no landing places. We stop to catch our breath then we keep moving. The only landing place is the present moment we are in. In each present moment there are gifts…some are beauties and some are uglies.

Instead of hiding mine, I’m going to share and I hope you will too. Getting the uglies out into the daylight can help us see their hidden beauty. Here we go…

These are the Uglies I can get caught up in: My husband had a brainstem stroke in January of this year. He is the bread winner of the family currently as I struggle to get my business going. My daughter has been in a dark place since her father died a year ago. I’m in court fighting his deathbed widow over my own retirement funds. As a result of a kylego I created, envisioned and organized an amazing two day transformational retreat/workshop. Despite my excitement and  forward feeling of achievement not one person has registered. My husband is in construction and we got stiffed just under $7,000 on a tiling job this month. Subsequently, our mortgage automatic payment bounced. I broke a tooth about a month ago and made arrangements to pay half at the first visit and half at the second visit to get it fixed. Because of being stiffed we didn’t have the resources to go back for the second visit.

Now here are the beauties that have shown up as a result: My husband’s recovery has been amazing. With a combination of mindset work and energy healing work he was the shortest stay in the rehab unit they have ever had. He went back to work the Monday after he was released, with caution. He was back to driving within months. The lasting effects are minimal and isolated mostly to short term memory loss and expressive communication. My daughter has moved back home to heal from her loss and has turned a corner in the darkness that grief can be. I just won an important appeal in my court case. Although right now no one else will experience my amazing retreat I have done some really phenomenal work creating interactive, reflective and transformative individual, paired and group exercises all ready and waiting to go for future retreats/workshops and client work. The best part is that I got to do that creating. The only thing I love more than creating transformative experiences is facilitating them for people. Despite getting stiffed on $7,000 worth of work, we kept the lights on. We didn’t miss the mortgage payment, because although the one contractor failed to pay, my hubby had secured another job. It was enough to cover that mortgage payment (the deposit was made hours after the automatic payment was kicked) as well as some other necessities.  My temporary crown is holding nicely and we shall soon have enough money for me to go back for the permanent one because work is lined up.

I can even go back further to three years ago when I quit my 28 year career to move across two states where we bought a house with no money and no credit; and when I had fibromyalgia and was living with an average daily pain of 7-8, to now when my average daily experience is a pain level 1 with no meds.

I could go back even further because at 53 I’ve come a long long way baby…but I won’t. 🙂

The point is we have a tendency at times to define our journeys by the distance we have yet to go, and by lamenting things that don’t show up the way we think they need to and thus overlooking the multitude of ways we manifest abundance and miracles. When you are stuck in “what am I doing wrong that I can’t manifest what I want” remember your ‘success’ is about the distance travelled not the distance yet to go…

*Please share your ‘uglies’ either in words or pictures below! Let’s all be real and share our non-beautiful moments of beauty with each other!