Day 5 Self-Promotion/Self-Reveal Challenge

Broken Egg
An egg does not break, it breaks open.

This is day five of my shameless self-promotion challenge and I find myself a little lost for words today.

My thoughts on the challenge today are about ‘self-reveal’ than anything else, so I’ve been sitting with that today. Just sitting with it.

Deeply.

So, this is going to be more of a journal entry than a story telling post.

I feel something coming up through the depths to rise to the surface. It’s there just out of sight. I can feel it. Something huge. Something about revealing.

About standing on the stage, so to speak, saying “Here I am! I have SO much to offer and I’m worth paying for!”

I can speak to small and large groups without much of a sweat. I can facilitate very powerful retreats for as few as one, and as many as twenty. Why is that so hard for me to talk about then? I know that I had these leftover beliefs of my mother’s that ‘pride goeth before a fall’, that ‘you make yourself last until someone else makes you first’ and ‘vanity is a sin’. That is a lot to overcome, but I’ve recalled that energy. I’ve denounced those beliefs and I feel indifferent towards them now.

So what IS it? Why does talking about myself seem clumsy, disingenuous and awkward?

Perhaps because it is still new. Perhaps its just like blisters on your feet when you wear new shoes. It doesn’t matter if I’m clumsy at it, I just need to do it. To offer my support and promote my services whenever I feel they can be of assist. Without shame. Without feeling judgement for doing it.

What I’ve learned from doing this the past five days is that it feels good, not shameful to share my accomplishments. I am not boastful. My intention is not based from ego. I am proud of my accomplishments and take great pride in assisting where it is productive and appreciated. I love adding my energy to others to push through blocks that have proved challenging.

There is nothing more satisfying to me then hearing a client say ‘I never thought of it like THAT!’ or ‘OMG that makes SO much sense!’ Or to know that after one of our sessions an opportunity presented itself to my client ‘out of the blue’.

Its magic pure and simple.

What I do is magic, but it really is magic everyone can aspire to. KNOWING that makes all the difference.

I love what I do, because I love you, because I love me.

~Jade

Beautiful – It’s Not What You Think

IMG_20170904_104700I love to do a good face mask. My favorite is Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay mask made from Calcium Bentonite Clay. I love it because I feel like it actually digs deep down and pulls stuff out of my pores and afterwards my skin glows. I find it an analogy for so many things. Digging the crap out of your internal psychoemotional pores and sloughing off the dead surface layer to allow the deeper radiance to shine through.

Its also an analogy for something else. As I endeavor to do more videos, I am more aware of my appearance and notice myself weighing this feature against another when setting things up. I often opt out of doing a video because I don’t feel like showering and putting on make up. As I looked into the mirror while putting on the mask and cherishing this moment of indulgence, it hit me.

Not all moments of beauty are beautiful.

To prove it, I took this picture. (This face never fails to make my hubby laugh.) Aside from that though it caused me to think about other non-beautiful moments of beauty. Pictures like that fireman carrying the child on 9/11, or childbirth, or a mother’s face just after giving birth as she holds her newborn all sweaty and fatigued.

But there are many many MANY more non-beautiful moments of beauty that we can’t take pictures of and might not even recognize as such. Moments of ferreting out those thoughts, beliefs and emotional patterns that don’t serve our spiritual destiny. Ugly stuff. It feels uncomfortable, awkward and sometimes seemingly painful, but in the end the beauty it creates in our lives is limitless. Without these non-beautiful moments of beauty we could not explore our true beauty.

Right now, I guarantee there are non-beautiful moments going on right now in your life that you can’t embrace for their hidden beauty. I know I have a shit-ton of them right now and I was completely overlooking them.

As a Intuitive Spiritual Transformation Facilitator I fall into the trap often of thinking I need to present a ‘perfect package’, like so many others do, to prove I’ve ‘made it’ and therefore worthy of getting paid to walk with others on their journey. Pfft, as if there were a landing space called ‘success’ in life! There are no landing places. This is a journey and there are hills, valleys, mountains, curves and steep grades, but no landing places. We stop to catch our breath then we keep moving. The only landing place is the present moment we are in. In each present moment there are gifts…some are beauties and some are uglies.

Instead of hiding mine, I’m going to share and I hope you will too. Getting the uglies out into the daylight can help us see their hidden beauty. Here we go…

These are the Uglies I can get caught up in: My husband had a brainstem stroke in January of this year. He is the bread winner of the family currently as I struggle to get my business going. My daughter has been in a dark place since her father died a year ago. I’m in court fighting his deathbed widow over my own retirement funds. As a result of a kylego I created, envisioned and organized an amazing two day transformational retreat/workshop. Despite my excitement and  forward feeling of achievement not one person has registered. My husband is in construction and we got stiffed just under $7,000 on a tiling job this month. Subsequently, our mortgage automatic payment bounced. I broke a tooth about a month ago and made arrangements to pay half at the first visit and half at the second visit to get it fixed. Because of being stiffed we didn’t have the resources to go back for the second visit.

Now here are the beauties that have shown up as a result: My husband’s recovery has been amazing. With a combination of mindset work and energy healing work he was the shortest stay in the rehab unit they have ever had. He went back to work the Monday after he was released, with caution. He was back to driving within months. The lasting effects are minimal and isolated mostly to short term memory loss and expressive communication. My daughter has moved back home to heal from her loss and has turned a corner in the darkness that grief can be. I just won an important appeal in my court case. Although right now no one else will experience my amazing retreat I have done some really phenomenal work creating interactive, reflective and transformative individual, paired and group exercises all ready and waiting to go for future retreats/workshops and client work. The best part is that I got to do that creating. The only thing I love more than creating transformative experiences is facilitating them for people. Despite getting stiffed on $7,000 worth of work, we kept the lights on. We didn’t miss the mortgage payment, because although the one contractor failed to pay, my hubby had secured another job. It was enough to cover that mortgage payment (the deposit was made hours after the automatic payment was kicked) as well as some other necessities.  My temporary crown is holding nicely and we shall soon have enough money for me to go back for the permanent one because work is lined up.

I can even go back further to three years ago when I quit my 28 year career to move across two states where we bought a house with no money and no credit; and when I had fibromyalgia and was living with an average daily pain of 7-8, to now when my average daily experience is a pain level 1 with no meds.

I could go back even further because at 53 I’ve come a long long way baby…but I won’t. 🙂

The point is we have a tendency at times to define our journeys by the distance we have yet to go, and by lamenting things that don’t show up the way we think they need to and thus overlooking the multitude of ways we manifest abundance and miracles. When you are stuck in “what am I doing wrong that I can’t manifest what I want” remember your ‘success’ is about the distance travelled not the distance yet to go…

*Please share your ‘uglies’ either in words or pictures below! Let’s all be real and share our non-beautiful moments of beauty with each other!

The Secret Misogyny

Um ok. I don’t know exactly how to discuss this out loud here. So that means this is exactly where the discussion needs to happen.

 

I’m about to talk about ‘The Secret’.

 

I never read the book. I had never seen the movie…until today. I don’t know why I felt the urge to watch it today other than I was looking for documentary-ish enlightening sort of things and I thought maybe I’d watch to see if my impressions of it are accurate.

 

Let me explain. I’ve never wanted to watch it because it was ‘pop culture’. Anything that has become a fad usually is not something that resonates with me. I find mass acceptance is just the flip side of mob mentality, no thank you. In addition, what I witnessed from other people who drank The Secret kool-aid, seemed to be of the notion that thinking positive is the magical answer to whatever ails you.

 

I know better.

 

I haven’t finished watching it yet, and I may never (but right now its still playing)…I’m disgusted. Really. Really disgusted.

 

So, far it is doing nothing more than supporting the notion that we are not complete in and of ourselves. It supports the notion that we need ‘something else’ to make us happy and whole, by its teaching of how to achieve that ‘something’. Furthermore, from what I’ve seen thus far its focus is solely on materialism.

 

My initial impressions were dead on. Its simplistic and in my opinion still keeps the REAL secret a secret. There are three Universal Laws, (not just Attraction) and there are seven contributing principles. (Full disclosure, these are MY framework of understanding. Other people have as many as twelve laws and no principles.) by not explaining the other Universal Laws that are equally important and work together with LOA to find the happiness of life.

 

Second (and this is something I have never heard anyone speak to and that is disgusting to me) why are there predominantly white males who ‘know’ the secret?

There are two women and I think three people of color in the ‘teachers’. How has no one mentioned this?

 

Rhonda Byrne wrote it! Why is it that we need 1) men of 2) light skin to give it validation? Granted this was 11 years ago but that really isn’t that long ago, that this should be so prevalent! Where are Iyanla VanZant, SARK, Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Marianne Williamson just to name a few? Why do we constantly give up ‘experting’ to the men? Seriously, ladies we need to look at our biases! We see other women as competition and support the men! Do you not see how self-defeating this is?

 

We will never be whole while we keep giving our power away!!! And the power of validation is incredible!

(Think of it like celebrity endorsements – the product may or may not be awful but if a celeb endorses it people will buy it). We give away our power when believe something just because some celeb (or white guy) says it!

 

When I look to see who comes up when I google ‘motivational speakers’ again I see a sea of male faces! A disproportionate representation of what I see out here in the trenches! This reminds me of the irony, of all famous chefs being male, while cooking has been viewed as ‘women’s work’ in most cultures, forever.

 

I see NO men in these trenches out here! I see none. Not one in my groups. Not one in other groups (ok, maybe ONE) and not one in my feed here on Facebook.

 

Unless this movie ends with ‘and the real secret is about creating inner peace’ then I am sticking by my original dispassion for it. In fact, heighten that dispassion, because I have this still running as I’m typing this and only more white men are showing up.

 

Ok, 36 mins in and I’m done. I can’t watch anymore of this!

 

I’m not male bashing.

Not. At. All.

I AM doing two things 1) advocating for co-creation and all that means, and 2) imploring women to stop giving away their power through their conditioned bias.

Why do we (as women) put our money towards elevating men over women? When you, as a woman, are asked who inspires you, whose resource do you provide? Who’s name falls off your tongue and across your lips first? Wayne Dyer? Tony Robbins? Rev. Dr. Michael Beckwith? Kyle Cease?

Life is about balance and until we can achieve a healthy balance of male/female our lives will not be peace filled. We need to balance our own feminine and masculine energy so that the feminine and masculine can be balanced in our world as well.

As women we ‘claim’ sisterhood, but then we tear each other down quicker than you can spit. And I know why. The current establishment likes it that way. The men currently yield more power, times are changing though so they devise things to pit women against one another if they want to be accepted into the boy’s club. That’s where it started. Then they tried to turn us into men by taking our demand to be treated equally to mean ‘the same’.

Anyway, I am on a mission now to spread my message across the land. The message of new healing. Healing the old systems that continue to keep the wounds fresh and open. Healing the old systems that continue to wound over and over again in new ways. Healing the gaps between men and women.

My workshops are and always will be open to men and women, because until we are all healed, none of us are healed.

In the comments below please take a moment to plug some of your favorite inspiring women (famous or not yet famous), include their names and links to their websites, Facebook page, or other social media connection.

(And please, watch Happy instead of The Secret, and take my self-study course which gives the whole secret and nothing but the secret! xoxox)

~Jade

Always The Teacher, Forever A Student

PSA to ALL coaches: business, life, copy editing, marketing, spiritual,(insert any other kind here) and anyone looking to hire one.

 

The moment you forget you are also a student, is the moment you cease to be a teacher. ~Jade Klemos

 

I’m beginning to understand why people become a ‘coach’s coach’. Speaking about the online world of life, spiritual and business coaching right now, I feel the popular ones are not awesome and the awesome ones are not well known.

 

Those who are really BIG (aka not online) don’t do one on ones, they can’t. In some way they delegate it out by doing large group things with facilitators, write books, do shows, etc… TOTALLY awesome! But then, who is left to give that personal one on one that can be so valuable in certain stages? We all have a place in this world, and there is more than enough for all of us, that isn’t what this is about. Right now, I’m feeling responsible for my peers…the ones that aren’t really ready to be coaches yet…

 

Its not enough to just be my amaZING self! I want others to be amaZING too! I want to share everything I have learned, that took my life from a container so small that it was strangling my spirit, to a limitless container that enables my spirit to soar and shine.

 

 

Many of you know my story, many of you don’t and most of you have never heard of me. Believe me…I’m trying to remedy that! 🙂 I’ve been just about everywhere. I’ve been standing on a train track staring at the oncoming train with eyes full of pain and tears of relief. I’ve been all alone in a crisis with my child. I unlearned how to not say no. (You might have to read that last one a few times. I get it, but in truth that’s how it is. We are taught how NOT to say no, so we have to unlearn not saying no so we can understand how to say yes to ourselves.) I walked out of my 20 year marriage after over two decades of emotional, financial and psychological abuse. I’ve been at the register when they pulled out the scissors (you either know what that means or you don’t.) I’ve pretty much been just about anywhere you can imagine.

 

 

And yes, I got myself here. Here in a place where there are no scissors (ok I do have scissors but not SCISSORS), no churning stomach all the time, no butterflies of fear, no being alone in a crisis not knowing how to handle it and a place of saying YES to myself all day, everyday for the rest of time. And absolutely no more standing on train tracks. I got here by understanding how I got to each of those other places, so I never go there again. I learned.

 

 

But I didn’t land there.

 

 

I didn’t just figure out how I got there and poof I was ‘done’. I also didn’t figure out my how and then sell it to others as the answer for them.

 

I figured out how to assist others in figuring out their own how, too. Because, while our essences are similar they are not the same. I don’t teach anyone how I did what I did. I teach others how to find their own way. Make their own path out. I have the tools I’ve collected. I’ll assist. But its really not YOUR path if I’m designing it, is it? And that’s what I’m about…helping others design their own Sacred Path.

 

As a Human BEING Coach I want to share. My life only gets HUGER when I do! Not everyone will resonate with my style. Not everyone will need one on one work. Not everyone will need the same thing, so a multitude of coaches – AWESOME coaches – must be available to meet the need!

 

I KNOW they are out there, but these other coaches…these not yet ready to be coaches…are creating other problems. And they don’t need to! They’d be so great if they could just get out of their own way. Stop hanging out in EGOS and start really connecting with spirit at those moments! 

 

Coaches, please be humble enough to look at yourself and see if you are really ready to help others create their own Sacred Path, not recreate your own. If you are unsure, please find a coach who is; one who is not trying to recreate you in their own image.

 

If you are sure you are not just recreating your own path for others, double check.

 

Coaches: 

Stay grounded.

Emanate from your heart.

Understand you never ‘land’.

You are always the teacher.

You are always the student.

The moment you forget one, you cease being both.

 

Seekers, please empower yourselves enough to know you have the wisdom within you to find the right coach for you. Use your smarts, but use your heart too. Don’t fall for the candy in the window…photo shoots are sculpted to sell you their lifestyle. Don’t fall for the fancy house, cars, first class airplane seats. All staging. Look for someone who shows you the inside of their life, watch how they interact in their group. Do they have substance or do they just talk about having substance? Choose someone who walks their talk…

 

Seekers:

Stay empowered – no one can ’empower you’, but you.

Emanate from your heart – don’t fall for FOMO, there’s no such thing.

Understand you never ‘land’ – this is human evolution.

You are always learning.

You are always teaching.

The moment you forget one, you fail to do either.

~Jade