The Greatest Thing I Ever Did

I know you’ve heard it a lot. People say it around Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, but this is January and I’m still gonna say it.

The greatest thing I ever did was have a daughter and name her, Emma.

Last night Emma and her two best friends (besides me) came over for dinner. This has become our family tradition, Tuesdays With The ‘Rents. Sometimes it is just Emma and other times we get all three.

Last week two of us almost died. Like seriously. There were unrevealed coconut allergies and inhaled water during a laugh/swallowing debacle.

This week had a deeper theme with the loss of their mutual friend. Yet, there was still laughter. Around the table we had one with both parents living, one whose father died before he was born and mother now gone, one whose father died when she was three and mother now gone, one who was 16 when her father died, mother living and one who was 22 when her dad died, mother living.

Exploring grief is not considered normal dinner conversation. Yet, that is how we roll. It’s how I’ve always rolled. Whatever my daughter brought to the table I allowed, pun intended. No question was ever put off in hopes she would forget, no matter how uncomfortable. No topic was off limits, because you can’t get to comfortable bypassing discomfort.

As her friends reveal more of themselves I realize how much thought I really put into being a mother.

It started when I was a teenager. I always knew I wanted to be a mother, but my relationship with my own was…well…strained. Somewhere around 14 I began making notes in my head, of the things my mother did that caused me to feel badly about myself. I promised my future children that I would do things differently. I harbor no ill will against my mother, she absolutely did the best she was able to do. Though I didn’t understand that then, I do now. In that she provided me an experience of what I did not want, I am so grateful. My relationship with my mother fueled me to have a most incredible relationship with my daughter.

In doing that, my relationship with my mother shifted and she grabbed the opportunity to have a different relationship with my daughter than she had with me. And she was really good at it, too. The memories they made together formed a vital part of Emma’s foundation.

Last night it came up, in conversation, that I make a conscious choice to not manipulate Emma as she was growing up. I never said I was disappointed in her, I made sure to state I was disappointed in her choice. It was her choice and I supported her even when I disagreed with her. There was a time she was making choices that I couldn’t support, but I did make sure she knew that I would always supported her, just not her choices.

That may sound like a difference without a distinction or ‘just semantics’ to some, but last night I understood completely that there is indeed a distinction and the power of semantics is mighty. Because I did not set her up to want to please me -the authority figure- that is not in her wheelhouse today. Today she is free of the need to please others over herself or to require validation of her own experience. In short, what others think of her is none of her business. This left her free to question authority figures and not blindly trust them; thus she has never been an easy mark for predators of any sort.

Sometimes sharing this style of communication and thinking is new to Emma’s friends. In the past, it has even made her the odd person out. I know it did me as a parent. I had been criticized, mocked and judged by it. I’m sure she had similar experiences as she felt comfortable speaking about subjects that made others giggle and joke in discomfort. As she grows more in her confidence of who she is, she is attracting people to her that appreciate her. Thus, while these things may be foreign to them, they are not put off by it. Actually, they seem to be drawn in, if I may be so bold.

My husband and I met 6 years ago and aside from Emma he is the best thing to happen to me. He was the first guy to really understand how precious my relationship with Emma is. In fact, I often overheard him tell others that he had never seen a mother/daughter relationship like ours and how impressed he was with it. And that’s saying something because he came along when ‘I support you but not your choices’ was a weekly mantra in the house.

When I had Emma I was a shadow of the woman I am today.

I denied my needs to meet the needs of others. I worried what people thought of me. I cried often and for unknown reasons. I had an unsettled unhappiness within me. I had irrational fears. I worried all the time. I had a constant knot in my stomach. And worst of all I thought all of that was normal.

When I looked at her though something clicked in me. Something that said I needed to up my game. That living in worry, anxiety and fear were no way to actually live; and in fact, that life was not about surviving it, but blossoming in it.

So began my journey creating both the women we are today.

The way I see it now, being a mother is one rock I threw into a still pond. For that one rock (Emma) my energy ripples out through her and changes more lives – my husband, her roommate, her boyfriend. And hopefully they keep that going by sharing with others what we’ve shared with them.

But being a mother was not an altruistic task. I got out of it as much as I put into it. Being a mother changed who I became and made me a better person.

Truly the greatest thing I’ve ever done.

I love you.

~Jade

Shortcuts, Direct Routes and Detours

UGH!! This quick-fix, magic-pill, jump-start, turbo-boost mindset is destroying the very essence of life. Every single aspect of this world seems to have it’s own shortcuts.

sliced of citrus lemons
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

Wanna lose weight? There’s a pill, formula, diet, supplement, surgery for that.

Wanna grow your business? There’s a program, Master Mind, secret tip, marketing plan, advertising ploy for that.

Wanna get rich? There’s an MLM, real estate flip, investment for that.

Wanna get an erection? There’s a million pills for that.

I. Can’t. Even.

There’s no shortcuts to your highest best life. There’s no shortcut to being a great partner, parent or person, for that matter. Why? Because of the unwritten Universal Law that your results are directly related to the energy you put in. Plain and simple. You get out what you put in. You put in short cuts, you get short results. This is why the weight loss industry is worth $66 Billion. And why, at least this country, is still overweight.

Finding what works for you, no matter what the situation, is a game of trial and error. Some people do fine being vegan, but others suffer on a diet like that. And I mean ‘suffer’, like their body doesn’t operate correctly. Others work best eating meats and fats and very little veggies. While we all have similarities, we are all quite unique. You gain specific information about yourself with each new trial.

The longest lasting results are the ones that come from digging deep and getting your hands dirty. In my line of work -spiritual healer- there are plenty of ‘short cuts’ people use. I have come across many clients who have a long history of paying for ‘immediate results’ type healing and yet they are minimally better off than they were. Why? Because no one can do the work for you. That’s the part no one seems to be paying attention to. And its true in every other line of thought…weight loss, your business, your money, your sex. The solution lies within you. You can’t short cut that or you’ll short circuit it.

I personally do not want to lose weight only to gain it back (and maybe more). I don’t want to make money, only to have it stop flowing in after the initial surge. I don’t want to have business success followed by business fail. And I’ll leave the erection one alone for now…

What I want is to make changes that are life changing and last a lifetime. I want to know the why behind a what. This is the only way to effect true change. No one wants that. No one wants to do the work. The easy way that’s sexy. That’s what sells. But that’s isn’t what is most effective. How did we get to the point where expedience overrides efficacy? Where the illusion of something is equal to or greater than the reality of something?

Oh my. That’s good.

When did we become a people who valued illusions over reality? If I look at the history of advertising, I’d say its been quite some time. Illusions sell products. So who’s selling reality?

The healers. They provide in many different professions, and they are the ones selling reality, but they are also the ones not making the sales. And even some of the short-cutters have edged their way into the healing field, promising results in one session. Which, you will get results in one session but you are the one who must maintain it. They always leave that part out.

This begs the question…

Is anyone really interested in self-improvement or is this an outdated past-time? A fled trend? Are we far too down the quick fix past to ever want genuine healing at all? 

Or have we come full circle and ready to finally give ourselves the time, attention and quality that we need?

I love you. 

~Jade 

Intentions For 2019

Each year I pick a new word or intention. Somewhat of a theme or a vision for the upcoming year, intended to focus my energy. I don’t do resolutions or even goals for that matter, intentions are what drive me, so it makes sense that I have New Year’s Intentions. 

My word for 2016 was Release.

I learned SO much about myself by learning to release that which no longer serves me. As I look back on it, I know it was the necessary first step to amazing things.

My word for 2017 was Surrender.

I allowed myself to surrender into the wave of things. To allow what is best for me, to show up for me. 

My word for this year 2018 is ‘Discovery’ – and boy was it!!! I discovered all sorts of things that were not even on my agenda to explore!! I found my word when we bought a Land Rover Discovery and I loved all it’s unique little quirks. Ironically, the car and I parted ways midway through this year, but my word and I did not. 

I discovered so much about life and myself! I discovered new friends and new coping techniques. I discovered new services to provide and new activities to engage in. I discovered a new way of eating and thus a new way of living. 

I discovered that to truly Trust the Universe means you don’t worry. I discovered that I can turn worry inside out and that’s a thing!! I discovered new ways of being visible and available. I discovered that I like being pain free more than I like any addiction that kept me there. I discovered new ways of interacting with the Laws of the Universe and really saw their effects! I discovered my power to completely control my vibration!

Discovery, I thank you for your service this year. I thank you for all you did to exponentially expand my growth this year. I discovered myself – again. 

So, what about 2019?

It came upon me in meditation the other night and I must say I was a little confused because it came in pieces and with an illustration/visualization. 

The visualization that came with it was like a kaleidoscope of colors oozing unto itself. Almost like oil on top of a puddle creates a masterpiece. Or the clouds of an enormous storm billow out and out and out. It was organic, growing and changing into multiple colors. It was magnificent. 

This year’s word is Divine Grace. Yes, I realize it is indeed two words, but it is one concept which I think is really the point. Divine Grace. Just writing them, or hearing them brings me to my center. Divine Grace. It’s more than just Grace, which was a word I was entertaining for 2018. Divine Grace is BIGGER. 

It requires that I be bigger than I have ever been. It will push me to bring forth my very best self. Divine Grace. It makes me smile and brings me joyousness. It is beautiful to me. It looks something like this https://www.deviantart.com/sophquest/art/Serendipity-76739416

I believe it will reveal my Divine Feminine in ways I cannot even possibly imagine right now. I can feel it resonating in my body.

Divine Grace.

How does it feel to you? Am I the only one? It feels life changing. But then…they all do, don’t they? If you pick them right!

What’s your word for 2019? 

I love you!

~Jade

Introduction to the Seven Precepts of The Healing Rite of Passage

I’ll be exploring via video the seven precepts of my Healing Rite of Passage services. It’s not an e-course or any kind of video educational course. Just me, having a conversation with you, about the basis for the work that I do. Perhaps this will allow some to gain a better understanding of the benefits of working with me and a bit of an idea of how it can change your life.

Personal Development Is More Than Just Meditation & Positive Thinking

I grew up hearing Robin Leach’s voice chiding, “Champagne wishes and caviar dreams” while most people were ‘living on a beer budget’. Thus the era of DIY was born and stores like Home Depot, Lowes’ and Menard’s got their boon.

My husband remodels and renovates homes for a living and the pitfalls of DIY are prevalent. An abundance of flipping and fixer-upper television shows has only made matters worst in recent years. Good for us, as their ‘oops’ keeps him in business. Why all the ‘oops’?

There are things you can’t know, you don’t know.

You just have to look at the myriads of ‘Nailed It‘ Pinterest posts to really understand how something ‘so simple’ can go ‘so wrong’. Now imagine that with two by fours and tile.

In the eighties, health clubs were the ‘in’ place to be and a slew of personal trainers hit the market. Everyone who was in the vicinity of being physically fit was calling themselves a personal trainer and charging outrageous fees for their time. Not everyone who has gotten themselves into shape have the skills and tools necessary to help others in their goals, however. Yes, you know how your body responded, but everyone’s body is unique and you can do real harm. There are things you can’t know, you don’t know. Eventually the industry began to regulate itself, some standards were put in place and now there is some consistency and quality in the profession.

Today I see that same thing happening in the area of personal development, self-help, and/or spiritual evolution whatever you choose to call it. A lot of people are hanging up their shingles with titles such as Wellness Coach, Lifestyle Coach and Life Coach (to name a few), offering their services to patrons who might not really even know their own needs. Yay that you raised yourself above your situation, but again there are things you can’t know, you don’t know when working with other people. Just like the Personal Training industry established standards to ensure consistency and quality, I have every faith that the personal development industry will do the same. In the meantime though, it is buyer beware.

Concerns

There are two categories that concern me. The first is the “I Just Went Through A Really Hard Time And I Want To Help Others” type. And the second is the “I Walked Away From A Six-Figure Corporate Job To Follow My Dream Of Being A Coach”. Some of these may or may not have a certification to do such a job.

Honestly, a certification is just an attendance indicator. It certifies that ‘this person attended/participated in this training and fulfilled all the requirements’. You have no idea what those requirements were. You have no idea what the qualifications of the certifying institution are! You have no idea how well the person integrated the information presented. You have no idea how well the person implemented the information into their own life. Do they walk the walk or just talk the talk? Think of it in terms of a degree or diploma…you know the person graduated but you have no idea what their GPA was. No wise employer hires someone strictly on the basis of having a degree alone, they always do an interview, right? They ask important questions and listen to the answers. This is how you need to hire any kind of personal development professional, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Back to the two concerning types:

“I Just Went Through A Really Hard Time And Now I Want To Help Others…”

This type is well intended. They are on a high from their shift in perspective and want to do something more! They have the drive!! That’s awesome, however that drive really needs to be applied to their own further development. DIY personal development is awesome, you certainly can get very far on your own with a few tools, this however does not translate automatically into your being a good teacher for others. I see so many starting to work with others before they are even done working on themselves.

There is a personal inventory that needs to take place. Yes, you have left this relationship and you feel amazing, but have you adjusted the things that caused you to call that into your life in the first place? Just understanding it wasn’t good for you and making the decision to end it does not mean you now have the skills to have healthy relationships, nor does it mean you have the skills and tools necessary to help others do it. I’ve been watching online entrepreneurs in this arena for the past four years. I have seen the majority of coaches ‘out themselves’ and I don’t think the anyone is paying attention. I have seen this time and time and time and time again…

They start off with promotions of beautiful professional photography in front of houses, cars and relationships they’ve ‘manifested’. They have great copy talking about how great their life is and how they can help you too. This goes on for awhile, then one day you might realize you haven’t heard from them in a bit. They disappear only to resurface later with new promotions; “I’m six months sober and I have learned so much. Let me help you too!” or “I finally walked out of my abusive marriage and found the love of my life. Let me help you too!” I am left wondering how many of their clients in the meantime wasted their money -or worse – were damaged while these ‘coaches’ were still figuring out their own lives.

Before you begin your path as a personal development professional you have to have your big ticket items handled.

Beyond that, you have to have a certain amount of time with them under your belt, because you don’t always know you have it mastered until you are challenged again…that’s how the Universe works. This is not to say that as Personal Development professionals we do not have things we still need to work on, nor that we won’t have situations come up. There is always room to expand and life always has curve balls, but how that is handled distinguishes the professional from the amateur.

The second type: “I Walked Away From A Six-Figure Income To Follow My Dream…”

What have they done exactly that might indicate they are good at being a personal development coach? Ok, so they had a six-figure income. That alone is not a measurement of personal development, we have only to turn on shows like “Real Housewives” to prove that. How does having that background indicate higher evolution? What credibility does it lend? What have they done exactly? Ok so they followed their dream. Do you know what that dream was? How long did they follow it that now their dream is working with others? Or is this just a way to make more money than their dream affords? They have left a high paying job, to pursue selling themselves to others as an expert at something and yet actually proclaim nothing. Ok, so they quit, learned to meditate, spout positive thinking and this makes them inspirational? I don’t think so. I think they have cornered the market on self-promotion and that is all. They are selling the unsuspecting buyer on their image with no substance. Personal development is more than meditation, magical thinking and motivation.

How can either of these types help their clients build solid foundations for getting through challenges and improve their experience of life? Foundations that will last the rest of their life? Maybe they know what worked for them, but how do they know what will work for another?

Personal development is real and deep work. It doesn’t happen by just repeating affirmations, stating goals and thinking positively. Nor does it happen by mimicking what another has done.

There is an influx of ‘coaches’ in the personal development field. A wave of well-intentioned motivated individuals dedicated to help others traverse rough terrain in Life. In truth, I love it. I love that so many who have done their work are breaking free of the problem focused models of Psychiatry, Social Work, Therapy etc. to embrace a more solution-focused model. What I don’t love is those who haven’t done the real work to move on to the next step in being a personal development professional. This isn’t about ‘being new’ because everyone has a starting point. This is about 1) doing your work, honestly and truthfully and realizing that you must always stay on top of your own stuff; and 2) about doing the additional work to gain the skills to help others.

Its about understanding why what worked for you, worked and why it might not for another. Its about understanding how the human mind works and why it works that way. Its about understanding the Soul and how it works within the elemental body.  Its about understanding the differences in learning styles and how one problem might have several solutions. Its about knowing how to facilitate for others so they can determine which of those solutions is right for them. Its knowing how to set someone up with the right lifetime tools for them. Its about understanding how every problem has a unique origin and a single cause as the same time.

Ya ya ya, but do I need a professional?

So now that I’ve laid all this out, how do you know how to choose the right sort of personal development professional or even if you need one?

Let’s start with how to determine you even need a personal development professional. It isn’t a question of how to determine if you need personal development. I happen to be of the mindset that personal development is a lifelong journey. As long as I am alive I am developing personally. Some don’t have that notion. They would not be interested in personal development and that is certainly ok!

So you are interested in personal development, you don’t have any self-limiting beliefs or irrational fears, things are going great in your life, and when bumps come up you have a healthy network of supporters and excellent coping skills. You understand that the Universe conspires on your behalf and you see that clearly, even when things don’t go the way you expected. You don’t need a personal development professional. 

You are interested in personal development, you have a ton of self-limiting beliefs and irrational fears, things are not going according to plan and you notice you keep dating the same sort of person who may or may not remind you of one or both of your parents. You smoke, eat sugar like its candy (hee hee hee) and don’t like to talk about your problems. You need a personal development professional.

You aren’t opposed to personal development, have everything you could ever want but you still are not what you would call happy. Something seems to be missing. You have a good job (or not) but it doesn’t fulfill you like you thought it would. You struggle in relationships often wondering if something better that might come along, but a bad relationship is better than no relationship. Your friends don’t seem to have this figured out anymore than you do. You need a personal development professional.

Of course there is a full spectrum of examples, but this should give you some kind of idea.

Now for you DIY type people, I suggest you re-read the first part of this post, and possibly look up some Pinterest-gone -wrong posts as well, just as a refresher. You are a responsible grown adult (assuming) and you have all the capability in the world to DIY personal development. The thing is, you don’t know what you can trust. You can’t trust your programming because you’ve already decided it hasn’t been working thus far. You can’t know, what you don’t know. This programming has been installed since your birth by your parents, community, school church and peers. It is this programming, insidious in nature, that is creating the problems you haven’t yet been able to isolate, eradicate and replace. You can’t see you from where you are sitting. In some instances this would be like cleaning your house with the lights off at midnight. Technically, you could do the job, but it will take you much longer and you are bound to miss stuff that will show up when the sun rises. Fresh eyes on the task, not to mention a fresh brain with a wealth of new resources to pick, will make for swifter success and results that are more likely to stick.

Whom To Choose

Wow, now that one is not so easy, because no matter how hard I try I will forget (or not be aware of) someone. Forgive me if you are personal development professional and I’ve left you out.

There are money coaches, mindset coaches, life coaches, business coaches, love coaches, relationship coaches, NLP coaches, manifesting coaches, holistic health and wellness coaches, transformational coaches etc.. (Are there any without the term ‘coach’? I couldn’t find any.) There are the metaphysical types; psychics, mediums, intuitives, empaths, and energy healers.  Energy healers include Reiki, QiGong, Crystal, Therapeutic Touch, Shiatsu, Bars and so so soooo many more!  This list is not exhaustive by any means, but you get the idea.

How do you possibly choose? Good question.

First of all decide whether you want a more metaphysical or practical approach to your adventure. That cuts things in half right there. Secondly, decide what you want your focus to be. Do you need extra help with your relationship with money or in romance? Is that your focus? Or do you see yourself needing to address issues across the board of your life? Is your business your main focal point? Are you experiencing some chronic or acute physical issues? Answering these questions will further narrow down your search.

Once you’ve narrowed down your focus you need to start googling what you can expect of that genre. If you think a money coach is what you need for instance, google money coaching and see what comes up. Educate yourself on the trainings and programs out there. Research those institutions, look up their curriculum/accreditations/qualifications. Note which sounds most responsible to you. Then start looking for individuals. Remember that certifications are just indications of participation. Do not let them be your only criteria. If someone has raised themselves from rags to riches that’s pretty good criteria, too. (Just be sure to vet the story, as stated next.)

After you’ve selected a few individuals its time to do your due diligence in researching them, too. Cyber stalk them…well, not really, but flush out their social media presence. Do a deep dive, don’t just take their website’s word for it. Go hunting on social media platforms. Note if they have all positive messages one week but then go on rants the next. Google the snot out of them. If a recent arrest record comes up, you can easily scratch that one off the list. What relevant jobs did they hold previous to this? Scroll back on their personal pages as far as you can (send a friend request if you can’t). Look for discrepancies in their timelines. Note if they might have a personal profile and a separate professional profile, what does that say to you? Yay or Nay? Research them thoroughly, you are about to put your life in their hands for remodeling. You don’t want to treat that lightly. If you see reviews on their social media business page then see if you can message that reviewer to get more information.

Narrow it down to no more than three individuals and schedule interviews. From their professional side of things they will call it a ‘discovery call’ or a ‘free consultation’, but you need to control that narrative. You are interviewing them as much as or more so than they are interviewing you. If you don’t feel the vibe, then pass. Use your intuition rather than your logic. Too often logic takes us away from what we need rather than towards it (because logic is instilled programming and is highly influenced by fear-based propoganda). We can be ‘sold’ on something because it can seem logical, but in the long run not actually in our best interest.

Finally

So there you go. My manifesto on personal development professionals. I never intended it to be this long, but if it serves its purpose (to get the right client in the hands of the right professional by educating the consumer) then my work here is done.

Personal development drives me. It has driven me ever since I can remember. It drove me into Social Work, where I had less occasion to assist others in this manner than I envisioned. And it drove me to pursue opening up to assist others in a full-time professional capacity as well. I love it. I love everything about it. I love how we hold the truth within our own selves and how amazing that realization is when it comes. I love how we have the power to heal ourselves in so many ways! Sometimes we just need a little guidance on how to focus that power, that’s all.

I’m here if you need me. You know that.

Oh…

and I love you.

~Jade

 

 

 

 

 

Integration

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What do you know about integration?

To integrate: “verb [with object] 1 combine (one thing) with another so that they become a whole: transportation planning should be integrated with energy policy. combine (two things) so that they become a whole: the problem of integrating the two approaches. [no object] (of a thing) combine with another to form a whole: the stone will blend with the environment and integrate into the landscape”

Wow. Doesn’t that sound important? How often have you integrated new information on personal and spiritual development? How often have you heard healers, mentors or advisors speak on it? I’ve never heard anyone mention it.

When we introduce something new to our bodies, environments or minds we need to allow and effort to integrate the new ways/thoughts/ideas with what remains.

My husband and I are in the process of adopting a new dog. We have two already but there are many years between them and we thought the younger one would appreciate a playmate. When you bring a new dog into a family, you have to integrate it. You don’t just toss it in and hope for the best. The dynamics change and a new order must be established. You can expect fights, bites, growls and howls. You can expect at one time or another someone is going to be ready to call it quits (this might be you). You can expect that it will take time to do all these things.

The key is to keep your expectations low and your alert status high. Keep a watchful eye and nip any aggression in the bud. Redirect and allow for time out as necessary. Eventually things will fall into their own rhythm and peace will reign in your new expanded family.

The same is true for Rolfing (any energy healing too). If you’ve read my previous stuff you know I’ve been rolfing to attempt to relieve some physical symptoms I experience. Between sessions seven and eight she allows for integration. A period of time where no new sessions are done so that the body can catch up with the work that has been done and come to a new normal. A better normal. Thus the body integrates the new ways of operating.

During this time you can experience detoxing, aching, flu-like symptoms, fatigue, irritability and general discomfort. It might even get worse before it gets better (healing crisis). In short, you can expect fights, bites, growls and howls. You might even feel like calling it quits. Once your body adjusts and settles into the new commands your connective tissue is giving your muscles though, peace will reign in your new expanded body.

Our minds are no exception. When we discover new paradigms of thoughts/beliefs and introduce them into our lives we must allow for integration. Some old outdated thoughts/beliefs will be exchanged out simultaneously without issue. Still others will be forced out as the new set in. Still others will sort of fall off, without much mention, after the new has been allowed to integrate.

During this time you can experience irritability, discomfort, fear, anxiety and restlessness. You can expect fight, bites, growls and howls. You might even feel like calling it quits and just go back to the old paradigm. But once you introduce new paradigms it is hard to go back. Once you settle into the new rhythm, peace will reign in your new expanded mind. Then your Spirit will be joyous because your experience of it will be expanded as well.

Integration is likely the most important step of all -especially in personal/spiritual development- yet it is often overlooked. We live in an instant gratification society that leaves no room for integration. Today it is seek-find-ingest-move on. Where is the integration? It’s a little like shopping-purchasing-chewing-spitting out. Where is the digestion?  What good is the food if you are not digesting it? None, that’s what.

Integration of personal and spiritual development information allows for movement, acceptance and expression of the new shift.

  • Movement – allowance for the new balance to be established by the introduction of the new and replacement/reduction of the old.
  • Acceptance – to allow the new to work in your life on purpose, not default.
  • Expression – to practice this new way whenever possible – not to just ‘think it’ and retain old bad habits associated with the old (aka walk the talk).
But How?

Sit with it.

When you are introducing a new spiritual paradigm of thought, meditate on it. Sit in silence with it. Notice where it resonates (or doesn’t) in your body. What thoughts come up around it? What feelings come up around it? What emotions come up around it? Do you feel smaller or larger consciously because of it? Does it expand you?

Stand with it.

Challenge other related thoughts and beliefs you hold against the resonance of the new. When you’ve sat with something and decided that it does indeed resonate with you then weigh it against related beliefs that you’ve long just grown accustomed to. You might find that they too have outgrown their usefulness and will be replaced or just merely drop away. How does the new fit in with the old? Look for consistency and congruence. Something that is true will be true in all scenarios (with some exceptions, perhaps), so play devil’s advocate with yourself. Challenge yourself to think bigger with this new paradigm. See what else it shakes loose.

Walk with it.

Take it out for a spin around the block. Start conversations with others about it. If you don’t have any friends who get into this sort of thing there are many people on the internet exploring just these subjects (hint hint). Reach out. Conversations about such things are free. While asking for free advice on specific personal issues is not appropriate, opening up exploratory conversations is generally welcomed by all. Share your process, your conclusions and your expectations of what this new paradigm could do for you. Entertain whatever questions or doubts they might share with you. This is your chance to see if what you’re integrating has merit.

Then wear it.

Don’t be ashamed of your new shift. Wear it proudly. While it may be tempting to ‘shout it from the rooftops’ that can be obnoxious. So shout if you must, but expect you’ll turn a lot of people off. If that helps you integrate, then by all means don’t let putting people off deter you. I however, prefer to just wear it into a room. What that means is that I let the Universe determine when the information needs to be shared. When a subject comes up that relates to my belief I share it. I do it in the best possible way for it to be heard. Sharing things in certain ways will guarantee rejection before that other person really even hears it. Wording things in a non-threatening manner allows for the maximum amount of people to hear it and expand with it.

That’s integration – in a nutshell.

Questions? Start a conversation with me at jadewillowsong@gmail.com or in my too quiet facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/willowsongfirekeepers/

And as always remember…

I love you.

~Jade

 

 

Regret Is A Gift

I aim to live my life with no regrets.

Regrets indicate that the past is taking up space in the present. It is far better to live a life fully present to your highest best, thus avoiding future regret. However, when they present themselves – if we are paying attention – regrets can be gifts.

We all do the best we know how and when we know better we do better. Regret is the understanding that we could’ve done better, but we didn’t believe it enough to stand in it. We knew the ‘better’ choice, but we didn’t believe in our ability to carry it out. We didn’t have the confidence to fully commit to that better version of ourselves and in hindsight we know we were so close.

Regret is the measurement between who we were and who we’ve become.

The beauty though, is that we can understand it in that context and give ourselves some slack. Regrets affirm our growth. We see a moment of our lives in a new perspective and hold ourselves to a higher standard.

The problem, of course, comes in when we allow ourselves to get landlocked in regret, aka: stuck in the past. Holding onto regret as if it were a record of faults keeps the pathological cycle going. Seeing regret as a growth tool stops the cycle and accelerates development.

In my own journey, regret has been an on again/off again relationship. In my thirties, I spent a lot of time looking back on my twenties (and then subsequently my thirties) with regret. In my forties, I completely let go of regret. I understood that I regularly do the best I know how to do at the time  – so I broke up with regret.

But after a recent expansion in my own development (spoiler alert: we are never done expanding) I began to find regrets popping up. No lie, at first it was a little unsettling. I mean I’ve lived at least 10 years without regrets, but I caught myself and stopped judging it. I just allowed them to be what they needed to be and listened for the messages. When I did this I heard – clearly –

‘this wouldn’t even be on your radar, if you hadn’t grown beyond it’.

I also noticed this was a different type of regret. It wasn’t the negative self-talk type, it had a ‘if I knew then, what I know now’ type of energy. More of a fantasizing of how things would have played out if I’d had the where-with-all to do what my Soul was ready to do, but my ego wasn’t. The energy of it felt loving not judging.

And it felt so amazing as I realized who I’ve become.

A Master

A Master of my own life. Not a slave to programs of old. Not a slave to the judgements of others. Not a slave to impossible expectations and crippling self-recrimination. Not a slave to anything, anymore.

Our lives are exactly what we perceive them to be. They are not what shows up as ‘evidence’, but instead how we interpret that ‘evidence’ and how we allow it to affect us. It is all about interpretation and perception. If we look at it as proof that we are victims then we are victims. But if we look at it as proof of our heroism then we are heroes!

Its about casting off the shackles of blame, shame, judgment and limitation and embracing how absolutely magical and all powerful we are!

Be a Master.

I love you.

~Jade

Check out our services page for more information on working with Jade personally to become your own Master. Or just check her out on youtube.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Magick Medicine

I was tasked by a mentor to write about my medicine in an exercise. 

I have the capability to see what isn’t seen and hear what hasn’t been said, to heal what hasn’t been healed. The magic to make the scariest moment totally surmountable.

From the moment someone contacts me, if we are a good match the healing energy begins to flow. I don’t even know if I’m ‘supposed’ to manage that or if that is just what is meant to be. It no longer drains me, I manage that, so perhaps this is how I know when we are in sync? This healing can be so powerful -even before commitments are made- that often that is all people need from me.

I create a space of pure self-empowerment. I empower no one. I only remove the layers of density in place that have convinced my clients of their powerlessness; like Michelangelo released David from the Marble.

I support, assist and facilitate. I facilitate opportunities for experiential exploration, assist is looking/interpreting them and support finding one’s own answers. This is the true Medicine Woman way. Not to fix things, but to allow the Self to realize there is no brokenness to fix.

Having a Medicine Woman support you is rather like the difference between using GPS and a map. GPS will tell you exactly how to get there, with (hopefully) no missteps. It tells you exactly how long it will take there and will suggest detours when delays occur. But with GPS you don’t learn how to navigate your own path.

But a Medicine Woman is like a map. She is a tool that presents  ALL the possible routes to get you where you want to go, which route do YOU want to travel? Which one suits you? If you get caught in a relationship/job/mindset, what way do YOU think is best to continue your journey? You learn how to navigate your own path which is a lifelong beneficial skill.

As always….

I love you.

 

~Jade

 

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.

Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 

To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

When Gifts Aren’t Appreciated

Have you heard the term “Indian Giver”?

Walk with me on this. To use this term is racist…know that.

However, I want to explain where it came from, as I learned from Jamie Sims, in Sacred Medicine Path Cards.

Everything on Earth has a purpose; individuals, people, places, buildings, items etc. Native Americans believe that every person, place and thing needs to live out its purpose. When a gift is given, it is with the intent that it be of benefit to the receiver by fulfilling its purpose. When a receiver accepts the gift and does not allow the item to fulfill its purpose (ie: by throwing it in a drawer or on a shelf, never to be used/enjoyed) then the giver is empowered to take the gift back and either use it or pass it on to another who will.

The first time a Native American did this ages ago, it was misunderstood and hence the stigma of “Indian Giver”. Actually, as you can see, the stigma belongs with the one who did not truly appreciate the gift and allow it to fulfill its purpose.

I have never really given this concept much thought before recently. Over the years I have given many services/products for free or at greatly discounted prices only to have the recipients not take it seriously and give it a best effort or worse leave it unused.

That’s on me.

In my own recent healing session with Spirit, I could see it as a small replay of my childhood where I gave of myself to those who could not appreciate me. See the pattern, there?

So, now I’m understanding more the notion of retrieving a gift you’ve given, and that’s what I intend to do. It will be easy for e-courses that are left untouched, I simply remove access. The receiver may never know I’ve revoked privileges, but that’s ok. This is about MY retracting my energy, not about them giving it back, so they don’t have to even know.

For those who have received energy work or one on one coaching and didn’t fully utilize it to their full potential, I have to remember that everyone has choices. I chose to discount – DIS-COUNT – it. Do you see that? I discounted it’s value, so why wouldn’t my client? Is it any wonder?! And they fully had the right to choose not to take advantage of the opportunity!

But I digress.

Those who I have done energy work with who did not value it, received a great gift that I cannot retrieve, however I can recall my energy attached to it. There is a QiGong protocol that I designed just for that purpose (it can help you as well)! And going forward I will make sure to give of myself only to clients (and others) who can appreciate what I have to offer.

Now, your stance might be to suggest that it shouldn’t matter to me what people do with my products or services…and you could be right. But I remind you of the beginning of this piece…

Everything has a purpose.

When my e-courses are sitting in the queue untouched, when my energy work is not embraced for the opportunity it is or when people negate the benefits of the one on one strategies I am not fulfilling my purpose.

And I very selfishly need to do that. I need to be of service. I. Need. To. Be. Of. Service. Every time. Not just on occasion or once in awhile. I want every client I have to be my most important client…and they are.

If you are searching for your purpose, let me hold space for you. If you are searching for a way to heal yourself of old trauma, let me hold space for you. If you have feelings of anxiety or depression, let me hold space for you. I guarantee that if you put in the work, you’ll find everything you are looking for. I promise you will be better off for it.

I love you.

~Jade

 

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.

Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 

To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

 

 

Progress Is Not Linear

Bear with me now because the thoughts are running faster than my hands can type.

Progress isn’t linear.

I first understood this last year as we were recovering from Chris’s stroke. One day he could do something better than the previous day, but the next day he was worse than the first day. It was so frustrating! That’s when I heard Spirit say, ‘Progress is not linear.’

It is not linear in the Body as evidenced by his stroke recovery and also by my Whole30 process, as well. One day I feel no cravings and the next that sneaky feeling of needing ice cream slips in while I’m napping.

Some days are easier than others. Some days are more than others. Some days are less than others. Some days its all too much and other days you can’t get your fill.

Progress isn’t linear.

Its not linear in the Mind either. I have seen it for years with my clients. So often they want to give up because it isn’t easy or because it isn’t going as fast as they’d like. I see this in my fellow W30 peeps too! Sometimes because its hard right from the start. Other times because it was easier the first few days, but let some time pass and the really deep work begin and not so much.

Progress isn’t linear.

Its not linear in the Spirit either. There is no one and done victory. It takes a lot of fortitude to accept new belief constructs and hold to them in stressful situations when it would be easier to go back to believing old tenets that no longer serve you. In fact, I’d say more often than not, in the beginning, you have to catch yourself automatically going to those old tenets and remind yourself of your new choices. But it takes time and patience and attention.

Progress isn’t linear.

When you expect things to improve by a nebulous “better” each day you will inevitably feel a failure because you are not progressing linearly. But it is actually your expectations that are failing!

You can’t expect progress to start in one place and go up and up and up. That is not how our bodies or anything in life works. Life ebbs and flows and spirals. It also has layers like an onion. When we are purging things whether physically or emotionally, we often see a ‘breakthrough’ looking like a ‘breakdown’.

 

Don’t be your own worst enemy, no matter what area you are challenging growth in, use the ‘quitting is no option‘ motto to get you through and remember that progress is not linear, so you are right on track!

I love you.

~Jade

 

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.
Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 
To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.