Dark Night Of The Soul

A dark night of the soul is not just melancholy or sadness or even depression. It isn’t a bad day or week or rough time. It is a spiritual transformation. A rebirth. A destruction for creation purposes. It is to be revered and honored and not something to be snapped out of.

That said the phrase has been overused and misunderstood in the spiritual awareness world. I’ve seen it attributed to those struggling with not finding their twin flame, as well as those who suffer with depression. Neither of which is accurate.

If depression is darkness. A dark night of the soul is the darkness within the darkness. Depression lifts but leaves you the same as before. A dark night of the soul transforms you at your core.

depression | dəˈpreSH(ə)n |

noun
1 feelings of severe despondency and dejection: self-doubt creeps in and that swiftly turns to depression.

dark night of the soul

noun

  1. a period of spiritual desolation suffered by a mystic in which all sense of consolation is removed.

I’ve been in dark places before. I’ve been self-sabotaging, self-defeating, self-doubting, self-destructive and suicidal. My dark night of the soul was darker than any of those – even if I put them together. Whole other level darker. It is a complete erasure of the fabric of faith.

Faith is the infrastructure of our beliefs. The framework or the skeleton upon which the flesh of beliefs cling. They are our laws. When our bones disintegrate there is no form for the flesh to cling to and no leg to stand upon. It is as if free falling, without gravity, without a shred of light, without anything to touch for reference or grounding.

And it is silent.

The comforting voices of spirit no longer available.

For a Mystic this is unbelievably unsettling to say the least. Our faith is the ground we stand on. The floor that catches us when we fall. The clothes we wear and the air we breathe. The idea of it vanishing is incomprehensible and yet that is exactly what happens.

It is spiritual blindness, tantamount to coming in out of the bright beautiful sun, into a dark room. Our eyes open wide searching for any glimmer of light, arms outstretched to gain bearings by finding the edge of a familiar wall, but there is nothing. No-thing-ness is far scarier than any-thing that lay in the darkness.

When you’ve relied upon faith to get you out of prior darkness, then how do you get out of the darkness within the darkness without faith?

I believe it is the ultimate lesson in acceptance. As mystics, faith healers, spiritual advisors etc…we make it a habit to keep our thoughts on point. “High vibrations” that’s what they tell us. Raise your vibrations and you will attract high vibration things. It’s that simple.

Except it isn’t.

What I learned through my dark night of the soul, is that this way of thinking is still ‘thinking’ and we need to move past thinking into feeling. Believing that we can control our lives by raising our vibrations, is still focusing on outcomes as measurement. It is still looking at the present situation as validation of who we are, when in fact we are what we are, regardless of our circumstances.

Attachment to outcome is the enemy. Raising your vibration, holding positive thoughts, doing this, that or the other to manifest things you want in your life, is STILL about attachment to outcome. It is still based in a place of belief that things should be different than they currently are. It is still a shadow of the age old ‘if this happens then I’ll be happy’. If there is no attachment to outcome why does every ‘spiritual life coach’ promote themselves by advertising what they’ve manifested?

What if the lesson of the dark night of the soul is that we are in charge of our experience regardless of what circumstance is showing up? That our beliefs are as fluid as our thoughts and thereby affecting them we effect our situation. Not to change the situation, but change our experience of it.

What if the dark night of the soul is the step necessary to finally understand unconditional acceptance? And what if the dark night of the soul is the moment we graduate to understanding that none of this matters? None of it. It isn’t real. It isn’t a game to be won or lost. It isn’t even ‘something’ to master.

It just is.

It is a blank canvas we can choose to paint on, or not. We can choose bright bold colors, or soft muted ones. We can choose dark brooding colors with broad strokes, or light rainbow colors with feathery brush strokes. Or any combination of the above.

We choose. And we choose not in hopes of soliciting a desired outcome, (though that is what everyone teaches), but in hopes of soliciting a desired experience.

The lesson is that we choose what makes us feel better authentically (not artificially through addiction) in any given circumstance. Does the thought ‘what did I do wrong for this to happen?’ make us feel better or worse than ‘ok, this is here, now what?’

It’s a significant though subtle shift. Neutrality vs apathy. “Ok, this is here. Now what?” (neutrality). “Nothing I do matters.” (apathy).

If we remove our expectation that our vibration will bring about desired results then we are truly at a place of unconditional acceptance. We neither seek to blame ourselves nor congratulate ourselves.

Generalized truth. That is what I call something that remains true on both ends of the spectrum. Most people subscribe to the belief that bad vibes bring about bad experiences and good vibes bring about good experiences.

So, when we talk about like-vibes attracting like vibes, then what do we do when we’ve ‘done everything right’, but everything still goes wrong?

We either a) go back to blaming ourselves and examine what we didn’t do right enough, or we b) realize there is something wrong with our interpretation of the formula.

Going back to generalized truth, it stands to reason then that if the idea that emitting continued low vibrations is not the answer to achieving desired results, then neither would be continuously emitting high vibrations. Right?

If I believe that my vibration brings about like-vibed things (and I do believe that still), and I diligently focus on raising my vibration, then any resulting suffering must be caused by an assumption that I immediately recognize all the different forms ‘high vibrations’ can take. AKA attachment to desired outcome.

If I am certain that I have been embracing nothing but high vibrational thoughts/beliefs, but ‘bad’ things still happen, then it cannot be a generalized truth that my high vibrations bring only desired outcomes. There cannot be a direct line between my vibrations and desired outcomes…but there can be a direct line between my vibrations and my experience of those outcomes. This then would explain why some of the wealthiest people in the world engage in low vibrational activity and thought. And why some of the poorest individuals engage in the highest vibrational activity.

Outcomes are not indicators of vibration.

Indeed. You never see a spiritual life coach speak about manifesting bankruptcy while they are in the midst of it, do you? Yet later, when they are safely ‘past’ it, they will share it as evidence of their struggle and the lessons they have learned to avoid it again. But what if that experience of bankruptcy brought opportunities that were required for the soul’s development? What if having a zero balance in your checking account was exactly what you needed to consider an alternative that never crossed your mind before? What if this particular situation (whatever that situation) is the environment in which to have the experience that busts through any shame you have? Or empowers you with the first hand knowledge that you are in charge of your experience?

Consider that high vibration sound shatters glass.

Just because the result is shattered glass, we do not call it ‘low vibration’.

The dire circumstances that were present at the start of my dark night of the soul remained unchanged on the other side of my dark night of the soul.

The only thing that changed was my attachment to it and my desire for it to be different. “Thinking things should be different than they are is resistance.” My own words coming back to haunt me.

I finally understand the Dali Llama’s words regarding suffering is the result of attachment. When I first heard those words I instantly thought that this practice would remove us from human experience. It does not. Though it does keep us from falling into the emotional tar pits of human experience. If the idea that emitting continued low vibrations is not optimal for a good experience of life, then neither would be continuously emitting high vibrations. Right?


According to Buddhist practice there are three stages or steps. The first is to reduce attachment towards life. The second stage is the elimination of desire and attachment to this samsara. Then in the third stage, self-self-cherishing is eliminated. -Dali Lama XIV

I believe that a dark night of the soul is the tunnel through which you travel from one stage to the next. This would be the easiest way to discern the difference between a state of depression and a dark night.

Reduce attachment towards life

Attachment to life is the attachment to things, people, events etc.. We believe that this life is all there is, we only ‘go round once’, kind of thinking. We believe that what happens to us matters and we have the idea of being a victim of life. When we release our attachment to life, we often land at the place where ‘everything happens for a Reason’.

We come out of that dark night of the soul with renewed faith in something greater than ourselves. We realize that life is an illusion. We are high on our revelation and dive into this new experience with the expectation of wonderful experiences. Even when things do not go according to our plan we understand that there is a Reason behind it. We may even understand that we might never know that Reason, but we have faith that the Reason exists.

We learn that staying high vibe is the best way to manifest positive results. We change our vibration and indeed our experience of life changes for the better. Low vibes bring low vibe experiences. High vibrations bring high vibrations. And we work hard on our deeply rooted issues to obtain the most out of life. We unearth the issues of shame and unworthiness. We believe in our potential and life is good.

The elimination of desire and attachment to this samsara

In Buddhism, samsara is often defined as the endless cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. The elimination of desire is just that. The realization that doing anything, including raising your vibration, in order to bring about a designated outcome is attachment. The idea that anything need be different than it shows up is attachment. The idea that your job is to figure out how to change your situation in life, by changing yourself – in any way – is attachment.

Understanding the samsara and not getting attached to any one phase of it over another is key. It is as if everything before had us believing that if we ‘did it right’ we could sustain a perpetual phase of birth and avoid death altogether. That is no more accurate or wise than to get locked into thinking that once death has occurred (any kind of death), that there is no occasion of rebirth.

It is a cycle, a circle – or better yet an outward never-ending spiral – not a progressive line graph, with small ‘ups and downs’ that overall lead upward.

Each revolution of the sun and the moon, tell us this, yet we have been blind to its lesson at the deepest level when we believe that by simply raising our vibrations we can stop that cycle phase known as death.

The lesson is that we can weather the cycle of death with no more effort than we do birth. And perhaps it would serve us better to think of it as a cycle of Creation, Destruction and Re-Creation. Our faith, or lack thereof, has no actual bearing on our survival of the cycle.

Self-cherishing is eliminated

It helps me to understand this concept better when I think of ‘self-cherishing’ as ‘self-preservation’.

It is the element of ego-centricity vs soul-centricity that is key here. The ego, the human conscious container and filter built into one for the express purpose to have an experience on Earth.

Ego’s soul purpose is to continue to live. Thus any message it gives us has that as its default position. The fears we have all have that same base…’death to those that do not believe’. It is the not so covert message of all organized religion. It is also the not so covert message of the traditional medical community.

When self-cherishing is eliminated we reveal a state of graceful detachment and unconditional acceptance to all things that show up. It does not mean we cease to experience the emotions of the human vessel. It means that we are not deterred by them. We explore them and notice them and move through them.

Life is seen not as a cycle of highs and lows, like a boat upon the surface of the water subject to the rise and fall of waves, but instead as the water in the tide itself.

It is not our preservation (aka desired outcomes) we strive for, but in compassion we strive for the benefit of all.

In this phase we achieve bodhicitta – the heart of the enlightened mind. We experience this in pain and in joy. It is seen by some as a state of mind, but to others it is the true mind – the essence of consciousness. Compassion for all is the primary motivating factor.

In bodhicitta there is no comparing. There is no judgement. There are no desired outcomes. There are no attachments. There is no disillusionment. There is no jealousy or disappointment. There is no excitement, even. There is just compassion.

The question remains if this is something that a human being can experience on Earth or if it is the state of the after life. Or something else entirely.

Each of these phases will have their own particular kind of dark night marking the transition. Each person will have their own particular experience of that transition. Some, I imagine, can even choose not to transform, but instead loop back and repeat the phase, believing they have transitioned, unaware of the illusion altogether.

I leave this here now, because the dark night of the soul, is an experience that cannot be conveyed in words if you have not been through it. However, words can validate the experience once you’ve had it. So to that end my purpose is complete.

I love you.

~Jade

Beautiful – It’s Not What You Think

IMG_20170904_104700I love to do a good face mask. My favorite is Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay mask made from Calcium Bentonite Clay. I love it because I feel like it actually digs deep down and pulls stuff out of my pores and afterwards my skin glows. I find it an analogy for so many things. Digging the crap out of your internal psychoemotional pores and sloughing off the dead surface layer to allow the deeper radiance to shine through.

Its also an analogy for something else. As I endeavor to do more videos, I am more aware of my appearance and notice myself weighing this feature against another when setting things up. I often opt out of doing a video because I don’t feel like showering and putting on make up. As I looked into the mirror while putting on the mask and cherishing this moment of indulgence, it hit me.

Not all moments of beauty are beautiful.

To prove it, I took this picture. (This face never fails to make my hubby laugh.) Aside from that though it caused me to think about other non-beautiful moments of beauty. Pictures like that fireman carrying the child on 9/11, or childbirth, or a mother’s face just after giving birth as she holds her newborn all sweaty and fatigued.

But there are many many MANY more non-beautiful moments of beauty that we can’t take pictures of and might not even recognize as such. Moments of ferreting out those thoughts, beliefs and emotional patterns that don’t serve our spiritual destiny. Ugly stuff. It feels uncomfortable, awkward and sometimes seemingly painful, but in the end the beauty it creates in our lives is limitless. Without these non-beautiful moments of beauty we could not explore our true beauty.

Right now, I guarantee there are non-beautiful moments going on right now in your life that you can’t embrace for their hidden beauty. I know I have a shit-ton of them right now and I was completely overlooking them.

As a Intuitive Spiritual Transformation Facilitator I fall into the trap often of thinking I need to present a ‘perfect package’, like so many others do, to prove I’ve ‘made it’ and therefore worthy of getting paid to walk with others on their journey. Pfft, as if there were a landing space called ‘success’ in life! There are no landing places. This is a journey and there are hills, valleys, mountains, curves and steep grades, but no landing places. We stop to catch our breath then we keep moving. The only landing place is the present moment we are in. In each present moment there are gifts…some are beauties and some are uglies.

Instead of hiding mine, I’m going to share and I hope you will too. Getting the uglies out into the daylight can help us see their hidden beauty. Here we go…

These are the Uglies I can get caught up in: My husband had a brainstem stroke in January of this year. He is the bread winner of the family currently as I struggle to get my business going. My daughter has been in a dark place since her father died a year ago. I’m in court fighting his deathbed widow over my own retirement funds. As a result of a kylego I created, envisioned and organized an amazing two day transformational retreat/workshop. Despite my excitement and  forward feeling of achievement not one person has registered. My husband is in construction and we got stiffed just under $7,000 on a tiling job this month. Subsequently, our mortgage automatic payment bounced. I broke a tooth about a month ago and made arrangements to pay half at the first visit and half at the second visit to get it fixed. Because of being stiffed we didn’t have the resources to go back for the second visit.

Now here are the beauties that have shown up as a result: My husband’s recovery has been amazing. With a combination of mindset work and energy healing work he was the shortest stay in the rehab unit they have ever had. He went back to work the Monday after he was released, with caution. He was back to driving within months. The lasting effects are minimal and isolated mostly to short term memory loss and expressive communication. My daughter has moved back home to heal from her loss and has turned a corner in the darkness that grief can be. I just won an important appeal in my court case. Although right now no one else will experience my amazing retreat I have done some really phenomenal work creating interactive, reflective and transformative individual, paired and group exercises all ready and waiting to go for future retreats/workshops and client work. The best part is that I got to do that creating. The only thing I love more than creating transformative experiences is facilitating them for people. Despite getting stiffed on $7,000 worth of work, we kept the lights on. We didn’t miss the mortgage payment, because although the one contractor failed to pay, my hubby had secured another job. It was enough to cover that mortgage payment (the deposit was made hours after the automatic payment was kicked) as well as some other necessities.  My temporary crown is holding nicely and we shall soon have enough money for me to go back for the permanent one because work is lined up.

I can even go back further to three years ago when I quit my 28 year career to move across two states where we bought a house with no money and no credit; and when I had fibromyalgia and was living with an average daily pain of 7-8, to now when my average daily experience is a pain level 1 with no meds.

I could go back even further because at 53 I’ve come a long long way baby…but I won’t. 🙂

The point is we have a tendency at times to define our journeys by the distance we have yet to go, and by lamenting things that don’t show up the way we think they need to and thus overlooking the multitude of ways we manifest abundance and miracles. When you are stuck in “what am I doing wrong that I can’t manifest what I want” remember your ‘success’ is about the distance travelled not the distance yet to go…

*Please share your ‘uglies’ either in words or pictures below! Let’s all be real and share our non-beautiful moments of beauty with each other!

Is This You Or Someone You Know?

Does anyone ever feel like they’re just not meant for this life? I know how blessed I am. I live in a developed country, I have a family, friends, a house, animals who I adore and a job. Everything people who are less fortunate would die for. But I’m still not happy. I feel so forced. I just want to be running wild and free, a natural woman, with animals and living off the land. I don’t want the troubles of money, the social media, the modern life. Is that really even natural for humans? Is anyone really comfortable living like this or is it just something we have to accept because everyone else does. My head hurts because it just can’t cope with what society wants from me  ☹️” ~Woman A
“Im with you! Feels so pointless and empty at times. On my good days [I’m trying to] work towards a more fulfilling life but am not really sure how to get there or if its worth it etc etc. Its is society not us thats wrong, take each day as it comes is all you can do. Stay strong we will get there…x Woman B in response to woman A
“Can I ask for guidance again? My mother wasn’t the warmest individual growing up. She’s someone multiple therapists have told me to cut out of my life, even if it’s just until I’m stronger. I’ve gone through much of my adult life in an off and on relationship with her because of her controlling nature. When I was a child I was often compared to other children and asked why I can’t be like someone else’s kid or why their kid, who’s “slow” (her words, not mine) would be doing better than me. I was locked in closets, kicked out of the house at night, told she wished I wasn’t hers, which didn’t end until 7th grade…”~Woman C

Is this you or someone you know? This is just a sampling of what I’ve been hearing lately. We as woman have suffered under patriarchy. That is not a feminist or anti-masculine thing. We can only survive in a balanced society and this is NOT that!

This feeling, THIS longing, THIS UNSETTLING is why the Healing Rite of Passage was created. Men and woman are invited to join in the Feminine Rising that this will be. Its not male bashing and it isn’t ‘woman stuff’ it is just a connecting to the feminine yin energies that have been ignored for centuries now. We need to connect to Mother Earth AND Father Sky. To Grandmother Moon AND Grandfather Sun. We can ONLY be our highest selves, live the highest version of our lives and have the grandest experiences when we are balanced in masculine and feminine energies.

We HAVE to heal the wounds of the past that keep harming us. You don’t know how to ‘get there’ because no one taught you to look inside yourself. And you can’t do it with the eyes that society has taught you to look through. It has set you up to fail.

There is SO much you can do to get so much more out of life! I can help you unlearn everything you’ve learned that is actually getting in your way. You have to go deeper than just meditating and gratitude journalling. You have to unravel all the manipulative programming EGOS set in play. You have learn the truth about how the Universe works by understanding and working WITH (not against) the three Universal Laws and their seven principles.

Universal Laws

Take a step today and reserve your spot or contact Jade Willow Song for more information, right now!

When: September 16 & 17, 2017
Where: Waterford, Michigan
Early Bird Registration: $500*
Registration after September 1, 2017: $675*

For Tickets: https://squareup.com/store/judy-klemos

Recommended affordable nearby accommodations: http://www.oldemillinnofclarkston.com/

*Introductory prices only- 2018 prices are $675 and $800

Healing Rite of Passage Retreat/Workshop

58957_1451367004156_1754294_n“I ate once. It didn’t work. I was hungry again in a couple of hours.” 

You never hear anyone saying that, do you? But ask about meditation, or yoga or journalling and that is a very common answer. 

Body, Mind and Spirit…that’s what we are. We are a carefully constructed mechanism made up of these three compartments. Without any one of these we cease to exist. 

REALLY. Think about that for a minute. 

It is pretty clear when your body is hungry for food or thirsty for water. You then have the choice of what to provide; healthy food and pure water or junk food and pop. You feed it and then what? You have to do it again a couple hours later. 

Your body also hungers for air and that is one you cannot ignore at all. Again, it is a constant give and take, not a one and done deal.

Your body also hungers for movement, but that’s subtle and easier to ignore than the need for food or water. Those into physical fitness know that regular exercise is necessary for a healthy body…none of them ever expect one workout to be enough. When you ignore the need for movement, you start experiencing more symptoms of aging and physical breakdown. 

Do you see where I’m going with this, yet?

Your mind also has needs. It hungers for new information to process, good books to read, interesting studies and, of course, fulfilling work. It isn’t enough for you to just intake new goodness, but its important to share as well with others in good conversations, social settings and a job that allows you to teach or share something. 

When you try to ignore this aspect of yourself, it looks like addiction: binge watching TV, pharmaceuticals, recreational drugs, sex, smoking, shopping, etc…

Your spirit also has needs. Your spirit is the energetic body and it hungers for connection and love. It is the part of you that makes you, ‘You’. It is by far the ‘easiest’ to ignore but with the most detrimental of consequences.

When you ignore this aspect of yourself it shows up as depression, anxiety, idiopathic chronic dis-ease, drug abuse, alcoholism, cancer, etc…

Notice with the body and mind that there are things we do DAILY to nourish and replenish them: exercise, hygiene, sleep, food, water, work, entertainment, even education.

But, for some, spirit is expected to exist on merely one hour, one day a week of nourishment! 

There is no doubt that the body is more fragile than the mind or the spirit, which is why there are such clear cues as to when it needs to be fed, watered or aired. Yet, still a person whose spirit is considerably neglected will develop things like anorexia or suicidal ideation which is counter intuitive (and overrides the desire) for physical survival. 

Ok so now, over the course of your life, how much time has been dedicated to the care and feeding of your spirit compared to your body and mind? 

Get a calendar, I’ll wait…

We both know over the course of your life you have neglected your spirit far more than you have neglected your mind and your body, right?


Not saying you haven’t neglected them too, but by and large most people neglect their spirit most of all. 

As I said, the spirit is the energetic body of the body/mind/spirit combo, therefore whatever happens to the body and mind affects the spirit and vice verse. When we experience trauma, grief, or other emotional pain we experience it in all three aspects, but again it is usually just the body and mind that get the attention for healing. This means that there are all kinds of leftovers in our spirit refrigerator that need clearing out. 

Again, this is not a one and done thing. Even when we think we’ve processed effectively, every time we think about the event and it brings up emotions in response we are re-experiencing the event and therefore causing more harm that needs to be healed. We are calling back the energy of that event and storing it in our energetic body.

This is why The Healing Rite of Passage Retreat/Workshop promises to be one of the most important things you will ever do for your body, mind AND spirit. 

  • You will learn how to access your energetic body and clear out blockages and heal wounds. 
  • You will learn new communication techniques that allow you to speak from your spirit and not your ego. 
  • You will develop new relationships with like-minded journeyers. 
  • You will have the experience of living from your spirit for two days. 
  • You will experience shamanic healing.
  • You will experience facilitating healing for others.
  • You will experience a lightness of body, mind and spirit as you release what no longer serves you. 
  • …and so so SO much more.

And after the closing ceremony your life will never be the same (unless you choose it to be so).

A rite of passage, by definition, is a ceremony or event marking an important stage in someone’s life. If you are ready for the past to be the past, to release old relationships and wounds, or just take the opportunity to give your spirit the intensive care it needs, then you need to reserve your spot in our Transformation Circle today. 

When: September 16 & 17, 2017
Where: Waterford, Michigan
Early Bird Registration: $500
Registration after September 1, 2017: $675

For tickets: https://squareup.com/store/judy-klemos

Recommended affordable nearby accommodations

http://www.oldemillinnofclarkston.com/

Three Years of Healing

I don’t even have enough words to tell you how much I love my life. 

Three years ago, I felt debilitated. Not many know that, as I never wanted pain to get in my way of living, but everyday was a struggle. What I felt almost on a daily basis like getting the flu body aches two days after having done a super hard work out at the gym. The body aches often felt like my muscles were being ripped from my bones with each step I took. By the end of a day of work, trumping up my apartment stairs and walking the dogs took the last ounces of energy I had. So cooking was done on a large scale, twice a week, maybe three times. I cooked in large quantities and we ate leftovers all week. 

I hurt everywhere all the time. The best way I can describe it is to say that on the average my pain was at a seven or eight on a daily basis, with really bad days at ten and would have me calling off work. On top of the fibromyalgia I had migraines.

 

Just three years ago.

To some that might seem a long time. To others that might sound like a day. What you don’t know know is that this is something I was battling for almost fifteen years before that. It started with gaining weight and not being able to sleep.
Over the course of those fifteen years I dedicated my life to healthy living. I sorted fads from fact, embraced alternative perspectives and double checked every resource to guard against bias. I combined energetic, allopathic, naturopathic, and homeopathic.
Looking back, as dedicated as I was, I can see now that despite my best efforts, I was taking two steps forward and four steps back.
Doing things like leaving my 20 year marriage and changing jobs helped me gain some ground, but it wasn’t enough. While one thing would heal, more symptoms would move to the forefront, resulting in the final diagnosis of fibromyalgia.
I never ever stopped believing though; all the Universal Laws and Principles held me fast. Just because I wasn’t seeing the results I intended, didn’t shake my faith in my understanding how this Universe works.

My faith is bigger than my experience.

However, I never got comfortable one landing place. I was always using the opportunity to learn and evolve more. Again, I separated fad from fact and in some cases from the fanatical. I took volumes of notes, digested them and pared them all down to simple no-nonsense experiential interventions.  Faith doesn’t have a landing place either. One does not simply remain with the childhood structure you were spoon fed; that would be irresponsible. You must explore all other alternatives so that you know that which you hold, is the most fitting treasure.
Faith has to be bigger than your experience or it isn’t faith, its logic.
Faith is doing something you know is good for you even if it doesn’t land you the results you most wish. It keeps me eating healthy even though the scale does not move. It keeps me walking even when it sometimes hurts more for a short time. It keeps me doing QiGong even though it hurts to stand that long.

What?

Yes.

Remember when I told you I love my life? Now we are getting to the heart of it.

While three years ago I felt debilitated, I no longer do. On a daily basis my pain level is on average a one. When I stand too long or go grocery shopping it can shoot up to an eight or even as high as ten. When I allow myself to get chilled, it skyrockets as well.

But that’s not all I love about my life.

Now, this is the part where so many of my colleagues would list things like million dollar homes, five figure monthly incomes, constant client flow or about half a dozen other ‘measures of success’ they think is enviable.

That’s not me though.

I like to give the whole picture, not just the shiny parts, because it isn’t the results that are important, but I’ll go into that in a moment…

Three years ago I walked out of a traditional color by numbers life, into a life I had never even imagined. I never did a vision board about it. I didn’t visualize it.

It came to me because I aligned myself which opened up the pathway for my life to find me.

Right now, I don’t have a million dollar house. I have a house we bought as a foreclosure and we haven’t finished rehabbing it yet. For the most part we do ok. When I look back on last year though, I realize we are doing far better than we were! Oh yeah, and my beloved had a stroke this past January (2017).

How can I love my life, you ask?

Because it isn’t about the results. Results can be shaded and highlighted to give you a false picture. Like those colleagues that tell you they ‘manifested a million dollar house’ but don’t tell you they are renting it. (Not that there is anything wrong with renting it, but that part is always left out.)

Results ebb and flow. Sometimes there will be shit tons of money flowing in and sometimes it will be flowing out. I’ll always be grateful for both.

My life is amazing. I have met and married the love of my life. A love that feels like home. Our relationship is far and away beyond anything I ever dreamt possible. Honestly, even with all my powers of visualization I could not have realized that this man was what I needed. We bought a house without the help of a financial institution. He has a steady influx of business and even when he had his stroke we have all we need and quite a lot of what we want.

Since I mentioned it, let’s talk about the stroke, for a minute. I know some are inclined to look at such a thing as a failure of LOA; that what I preach isn’t working, because if it did it would’ve protected us from such an event. But that isn’t how Life (or LOA for that matter) works. It really isn’t.

This beloved man that came into my life so late (yet right on time) had a small stroke in his brainstem on January 19, 2017. In case you don’t know, a ‘small’ stroke is not indicative of how much damage is done. It has to do with where the stroke occurred; in the small or large blood vessels. That said, the damage Chris has sustained was minimal and he’s recovered most of that. He got just enough of a scare that he started taking his health seriously. The things that remain impaired are serving as daily reminders of his need to put his health first.

There’s even more. My daughter who was struggling with so very much for these same three years has come through her dark night of the soul and promises to fulfill the Source potential within her. She has more clarity, passion and inspiration than ever before in her life. I literally have never been more proud of her.

You see the Universal Laws, Life, Awakening, Enlightenment etc.. aren’t about ‘manifesting only good stuff’; they are about establishing a structure that enables us to see the ‘bad’ stuff is just as valuable.

That’s the deal. To keep doing what you know is in alignment even when it doesn’t render you the results you intended.

Three years of healing has brought me here. To this amazing moment. A moment where I am fully aware at all times of all possibilities and am excited for the next and all its possibilities.

There is SOOOOOOOOO much that goes into Life it can’t even be summed up in one post, maybe not even one book. However, I will try to cover everything in my upcoming events, starting with the Healing Rite of Passage on September 16th and 17th, 2017. If you are interested please make sure to contact us for details and to reserve your spot.

Always The Teacher, Forever A Student

PSA to ALL coaches: business, life, copy editing, marketing, spiritual,(insert any other kind here) and anyone looking to hire one.

 

The moment you forget you are also a student, is the moment you cease to be a teacher. ~Jade Klemos

 

I’m beginning to understand why people become a ‘coach’s coach’. Speaking about the online world of life, spiritual and business coaching right now, I feel the popular ones are not awesome and the awesome ones are not well known.

 

Those who are really BIG (aka not online) don’t do one on ones, they can’t. In some way they delegate it out by doing large group things with facilitators, write books, do shows, etc… TOTALLY awesome! But then, who is left to give that personal one on one that can be so valuable in certain stages? We all have a place in this world, and there is more than enough for all of us, that isn’t what this is about. Right now, I’m feeling responsible for my peers…the ones that aren’t really ready to be coaches yet…

 

Its not enough to just be my amaZING self! I want others to be amaZING too! I want to share everything I have learned, that took my life from a container so small that it was strangling my spirit, to a limitless container that enables my spirit to soar and shine.

 

 

Many of you know my story, many of you don’t and most of you have never heard of me. Believe me…I’m trying to remedy that! 🙂 I’ve been just about everywhere. I’ve been standing on a train track staring at the oncoming train with eyes full of pain and tears of relief. I’ve been all alone in a crisis with my child. I unlearned how to not say no. (You might have to read that last one a few times. I get it, but in truth that’s how it is. We are taught how NOT to say no, so we have to unlearn not saying no so we can understand how to say yes to ourselves.) I walked out of my 20 year marriage after over two decades of emotional, financial and psychological abuse. I’ve been at the register when they pulled out the scissors (you either know what that means or you don’t.) I’ve pretty much been just about anywhere you can imagine.

 

 

And yes, I got myself here. Here in a place where there are no scissors (ok I do have scissors but not SCISSORS), no churning stomach all the time, no butterflies of fear, no being alone in a crisis not knowing how to handle it and a place of saying YES to myself all day, everyday for the rest of time. And absolutely no more standing on train tracks. I got here by understanding how I got to each of those other places, so I never go there again. I learned.

 

 

But I didn’t land there.

 

 

I didn’t just figure out how I got there and poof I was ‘done’. I also didn’t figure out my how and then sell it to others as the answer for them.

 

I figured out how to assist others in figuring out their own how, too. Because, while our essences are similar they are not the same. I don’t teach anyone how I did what I did. I teach others how to find their own way. Make their own path out. I have the tools I’ve collected. I’ll assist. But its really not YOUR path if I’m designing it, is it? And that’s what I’m about…helping others design their own Sacred Path.

 

As a Human BEING Coach I want to share. My life only gets HUGER when I do! Not everyone will resonate with my style. Not everyone will need one on one work. Not everyone will need the same thing, so a multitude of coaches – AWESOME coaches – must be available to meet the need!

 

I KNOW they are out there, but these other coaches…these not yet ready to be coaches…are creating other problems. And they don’t need to! They’d be so great if they could just get out of their own way. Stop hanging out in EGOS and start really connecting with spirit at those moments! 

 

Coaches, please be humble enough to look at yourself and see if you are really ready to help others create their own Sacred Path, not recreate your own. If you are unsure, please find a coach who is; one who is not trying to recreate you in their own image.

 

If you are sure you are not just recreating your own path for others, double check.

 

Coaches: 

Stay grounded.

Emanate from your heart.

Understand you never ‘land’.

You are always the teacher.

You are always the student.

The moment you forget one, you cease being both.

 

Seekers, please empower yourselves enough to know you have the wisdom within you to find the right coach for you. Use your smarts, but use your heart too. Don’t fall for the candy in the window…photo shoots are sculpted to sell you their lifestyle. Don’t fall for the fancy house, cars, first class airplane seats. All staging. Look for someone who shows you the inside of their life, watch how they interact in their group. Do they have substance or do they just talk about having substance? Choose someone who walks their talk…

 

Seekers:

Stay empowered – no one can ’empower you’, but you.

Emanate from your heart – don’t fall for FOMO, there’s no such thing.

Understand you never ‘land’ – this is human evolution.

You are always learning.

You are always teaching.

The moment you forget one, you fail to do either.

~Jade

Illness Is Your Soul’s Dis-Ease

don't compare memeIn 2009 I packed my, then 16 year old, daughter and moved out of my 20 year marriage. We moved in with a friend of mine, which did not turn out to be a healthy choice, and we moved yet again, 9 months later. After three years of separation, the divorce was finalized in January of 2012. 

In November of 2012, just six months into a new relationship, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. At its best it was unbearable, at its worst it was debilitating. I was working a 40 hour week as a social worker in a social service agency. A career I had been very very good at for 28 years. Some even said I was born to do it.  

Just like the marriage, the job/career no longer served me. They were both killing me.

I had ‘done everything right’, but it all ‘went wrong’. I tried to follow the standards that society set up for me: Go to college, establish yourself in a long-term career, get married/stay married, raise babies, secure a retirement fund and when you retire you can do all the things you dreamed.

In other words, be safe.

In June of 2013 my beloved and I took a three day vacation. It was 8 months after being diagnosed and I hadn’t had a day free of pain since before the diagnosis. We went deep into nature, a state park steeped in Native American history, lush with trees and running water. I was absolutely pain free for those three days. No electronics. No work. Hiking, eating, walking and napping.

Pain free.

That was my first clue that my illness was not physical at all, but spiritual.

A year later I quit my job, retired from social work and moved across two states to live with my beloved in a new area with lots of trees and water. That was three years ago. 

I KNOW now my dis-order was my soul growling, shedding, cracking and splitting up to the surface through the depths of illusion and facade that my ego (earth generated operating-system) had created. My soul was trying to reveal itself and my resistance to it was causing me pain. My life was literally making me sick.

In the three years since, I’ve published my first book, Strongest In Our Broken Places, married my beloved, stepped onto my path as a transformation facilitator and and am fully embracing my calling as a mentor, guide, companion, intuitive, healer, author, transformation workshop leader and medicine woman.  

Three years after beginning to live from my soul, I manage my physical condition without any pharmaceuticals. I tried them early on, but they made me feel so gross. I’ve travelled a path of natural remedies to get to this point now. I take a few natural supplements, receive torque technique chiropractic care, do QiGong daily, connect with nature daily and occasionally take over the counter pain relievers as necessary. The most important thing I do though, is live a soul-directed life. A life that feeds my soul. Finding THAT has been the single most important intervention in remedying my soul’s dis-ease. Today my pain free days outnumber my pain filled ones at least two to one. And when I feel that fibro pain, I know its because I’ve allowed myself to get away from my soul calling the shots.

Illness is not coincidence. It is a message from your soul. Its trying to tell you something is amiss and if you’ve been ignoring that message then it will begin to affect your physical health by way of dis-ease and dis-order. Listening to your soul is the single most important thing you can do for yourself, your loved ones, your health and the world. Anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, CFS, bi-polar disorder, idiopathic anything etc…these are just a few of the many methods our souls use to communicate.

If you are ill, listen carefully to that message and if you need help translating it, seek out assistance from a holistic practitioner that resonates with you and always coordinate complementary care with your allopathic physician.

~Jade

Valor of Consciousness

The Darkness is not afraid of the Light
It craves it.
It seeks transformation only the Light can provide.

Darkness transforms nothing. It has no Power.
It is the absence of Light;
the absence of Power.

The Light cannot be transmuted
only obscured;
by those who are blind to it.

The Darkness cannot be obscured
only transmuted;
by those who embrace it.

The Journey of Light to Dark
is tempestuous cowardice of illusion;
one decision at a time.

The Journey of Dark to Light
is serene valor of consciousness;
one decision at a time.

©2017 Jade Klemos

Please Don’t Call Me Your Coach

I have an aversion to the title ‘Coach’. I toyed with it for awhile; life coach, transformational coach, spiritual coach, life advisor, spiritual advisor, etc. I cringe every time someone refers to me as their coach…and I REALLY cringe when someone tells me “every coach needs a coach” implying I needed to hire a coach.

NO WAY!

I have nothing against coaches. I actually endeavored to be a coach for a very long long time. At some point through that endeavor however, ‘coach’ no longer felt the way it used to. That feeling is what led me to identify as a Medicine Woman.

There is absolutely a place for coaches. A big wonderful lovely world for coaching, but, coaching no longer fits my soul. Not even a tiny little bit. There is no place for me in coaching.

I am a facilitator holding space for others to explore their sacredness. I don’t wish to coach, but holding space? Yes, holding space I can do for anyone and I definitely need people to hold space for me!

Holding space affords the opportunity for things to flow without rush or agenda. To pull from the murky depths of unconsciousness the golden nuggets of your truth. To be present and allow Spirit to flow through me to express whatever it needs to express, and to be present while it expresses through you whatever it needs to express.

Holding space is about the most honorable and sacred thing I can offer anyone. To hold space for their wounds to heal, their dreams to be born, their relationships to transcend and their spirits to ascend.

It’s sacred and I can’t think of anything better to do with my life!

The Tao of Manifesting

I went to The College of St. Teresa, in Winona, MN, an all women’s Catholic facility. One of our buildings was Tao Center, a guest house run by the nuns. That was the first I’d heard Tao and no clue what it meant. What I knew is that I loved being in that building because it was extremely peaceful, even simply walking in the hallways.

Generally stated, Tao is the flow of energy through the Universe. It is a big word with many uses and even more understandings. It is that way on purpose. The Tao is experiential, thus making it impossible for two people to have the same understanding of it. In short, defining Tao is the language version of nailing jello to a wall.

For purposes of our discussion today, Tao, is the flow of chi (life energy).

Understanding Tao is fundamental to the concept of manifesting. I’ve discussed manifesting before and feel strongly that it has become largely a business buzz word now. However, it still is an important concept to thoroughly understand. The biggest problem I encounter with my clients is their focus on manifesting.

“How do I manifest a better life? A car? Winning the lottery? A better job? More money?  A successful business?”

Manifesting is not a process so much as it is an outcome…a result of the process of Tao.

The process of Tao is like breathing. The outcome of good breathing (and yes there is bad breathing) is fully oxygenated blood. The outcome of bad breathing is not fully oxygenated blood. No one ever thinks about oxygenating their blood when they are breathing, in fact, most of the time no one ever thinks about their breathing at all. Yet they are doing it all the time.

When we are conscious of our breathing we can change the chemistry of our body. We oxygenate our blood fully, we relax our muscles and affect the hormones produced. Our experience is heightened by merely breathing more consciously. So it is with living and manifesting. When we live consciously we affect the energy of our life, our chi, and this affects the things around us. When we raise our chi vibrations, the lower chi vibrations in the Universe become uncomfortable and move further away from us, while the higher chi vibrations of the Universe resonate with us and move closer. Thus our experience is heightened by living more consciously.

The converse is, of course, also true when we do not live consciously and lower our chi vibration.

The focus needs not to be on what we wish to manifest, but how we live our lives. The mere intention of doing something with the purpose to manifest a specific desired result is ‘forcing’ and not allowing Tao to work.

Tao is like water. If Tao is flowing South with the intention of landing you on a particular beach you don’t even know exists, but your intentions are set on landing at a Northern dock you do know exists then you are then forcing and not going with the flow.

This is where the pop culture teachings of manifestation go astray. Some teachings tell you to be so specific in your intentions, down to the last penny on a manifestation check, or the exact color of the make of the car you desire. This is teaching you to force, not allow.

By the same token you cannot be so lax that you put no effort into the journey. Consider yourself afloat on a river. You go the direction the river carries you, but you must steer to navigate through the rocks and rapids. And there will be rocks and rapids, I assure you. Even when you are doing everything ‘right’ (and of course there really is no right or wrong, but just for today, let’s use it) by allowing flow and living consciously. The rocks and rapids are put there on purpose to give us challenges, because only through challenges do we discover things about ourselves that we could not discover otherwise.

The balance is to go with the flow and not get caught in the undertow.

There are times the river will run high and fast. Often this is when the undertow of doubt, fear and overwhelm can capsize you and suck you under. This is sabotage. You might tell yourself ‘this is too easy’ or ‘I am not worthy of this’; these are the beginnings of the undertow tugging at you. ‘I can’t do this’ or ‘I won’t be able to handle it’, tugging even harder. ‘This can’t work’, ‘this isn’t working’, ‘this is coincidence’ etc…you’re going under.

Similar thoughts will occur when encountering rocks and shallow waters. ‘This is too hard’, ‘I don’t deserve this’, ‘I can’t do this’, ‘I won’t be able to handle it’ etc… This is how you know they are misnomers, because you can’t have the same thoughts about two different experiences right? If you are not ‘content’ with high waters and fast flowing and also not satisfied with shallow waters and rocks then what is REALLY going on? Sabotage. That’s what’s going on.

These thoughts are SYMPTOMS of beliefs that lie deep within you. It’s the BELIEFS not the mere THOUGHTS that are the problem. Thoughts are a result of beliefs. Control the beliefs and you control the thoughts.

Your beliefs, not your thoughts are what raise your vibrations. Your thoughts are based on intention, your intentions stem from your beliefs. Consider the person who does nice things when people are looking, but not so nice things when no one is. What is the intention there? From what belief is it originating? What vibrational level do you think exists there?

It is not the WHAT but the WHY that Tao responds to most.