In 2009 I packed my, then 16 year old, daughter and moved out of my 20 year marriage. We moved in with a friend of mine, which did not turn out to be a healthy choice, and we moved yet again, 9 months later. After three years of separation, the divorce was finalized in January of 2012.
In November of 2012, just six months into a new relationship, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. At its best it was unbearable, at its worst it was debilitating. I was working a 40 hour week as a social worker in a social service agency. A career I had been very very good at for 28 years. Some even said I was born to do it.
Just like the marriage, the job/career no longer served me. They were both killing me.
I had ‘done everything right’, but it all ‘went wrong’. I tried to follow the standards that society set up for me: Go to college, establish yourself in a long-term career, get married/stay married, raise babies, secure a retirement fund and when you retire you can do all the things you dreamed.
In other words, be safe.
In June of 2013 my beloved and I took a three day vacation. It was 8 months after being diagnosed and I hadn’t had a day free of pain since before the diagnosis. We went deep into nature, a state park steeped in Native American history, lush with trees and running water. I was absolutely pain free for those three days. No electronics. No work. Hiking, eating, walking and napping.
That was my first clue that my illness was not physical at all, but spiritual.
A year later I quit my job, retired from social work and moved across two states to live with my beloved in a new area with lots of trees and water. That was three years ago.
I KNOW now my dis-order was my soul growling, shedding, cracking and splitting up to the surface through the depths of illusion and facade that my ego (earth generated operating-system) had created. My soul was trying to reveal itself and my resistance to it was causing me pain. My life was literally making me sick.
In the three years since, I’ve published my first book, Strongest In Our Broken Places, married my beloved, stepped onto my path as a transformation facilitator and and am fully embracing my calling as a mentor, guide, companion, intuitive, healer, author, transformation workshop leader and medicine woman.
Three years after beginning to live from my soul, I manage my physical condition without any pharmaceuticals. I tried them early on, but they made me feel so gross. I’ve travelled a path of natural remedies to get to this point now. I take a few natural supplements, receive torque technique chiropractic care, do QiGong daily, connect with nature daily and occasionally take over the counter pain relievers as necessary. The most important thing I do though, is live a soul-directed life. A life that feeds my soul. Finding THAT has been the single most important intervention in remedying my soul’s dis-ease. Today my pain free days outnumber my pain filled ones at least two to one. And when I feel that fibro pain, I know its because I’ve allowed myself to get away from my soul calling the shots.
Illness is not coincidence. It is a message from your soul. Its trying to tell you something is amiss and if you’ve been ignoring that message then it will begin to affect your physical health by way of dis-ease and dis-order. Listening to your soul is the single most important thing you can do for yourself, your loved ones, your health and the world. Anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, CFS, bi-polar disorder, idiopathic anything etc…these are just a few of the many methods our souls use to communicate.
If you are ill, listen carefully to that message and if you need help translating it, seek out assistance from a holistic practitioner that resonates with you and always coordinate complementary care with your allopathic physician.
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