Personal Development Is More Than Just Meditation & Positive Thinking

I grew up hearing Robin Leach’s voice chiding, “Champagne wishes and caviar dreams” while most people were ‘living on a beer budget’. Thus the era of DIY was born and stores like Home Depot, Lowes’ and Menard’s got their boon.

My husband remodels and renovates homes for a living and the pitfalls of DIY are prevalent. An abundance of flipping and fixer-upper television shows has only made matters worst in recent years. Good for us, as their ‘oops’ keeps him in business. Why all the ‘oops’?

There are things you can’t know, you don’t know.

You just have to look at the myriads of ‘Nailed It‘ Pinterest posts to really understand how something ‘so simple’ can go ‘so wrong’. Now imagine that with two by fours and tile.

In the eighties, health clubs were the ‘in’ place to be and a slew of personal trainers hit the market. Everyone who was in the vicinity of being physically fit was calling themselves a personal trainer and charging outrageous fees for their time. Not everyone who has gotten themselves into shape have the skills and tools necessary to help others in their goals, however. Yes, you know how your body responded, but everyone’s body is unique and you can do real harm. There are things you can’t know, you don’t know. Eventually the industry began to regulate itself, some standards were put in place and now there is some consistency and quality in the profession.

Today I see that same thing happening in the area of personal development, self-help, and/or spiritual evolution whatever you choose to call it. A lot of people are hanging up their shingles with titles such as Wellness Coach, Lifestyle Coach and Life Coach (to name a few), offering their services to patrons who might not really even know their own needs. Yay that you raised yourself above your situation, but again there are things you can’t know, you don’t know when working with other people. Just like the Personal Training industry established standards to ensure consistency and quality, I have every faith that the personal development industry will do the same. In the meantime though, it is buyer beware.

Concerns

There are two categories that concern me. The first is the “I Just Went Through A Really Hard Time And I Want To Help Others” type. And the second is the “I Walked Away From A Six-Figure Corporate Job To Follow My Dream Of Being A Coach”. Some of these may or may not have a certification to do such a job.

Honestly, a certification is just an attendance indicator. It certifies that ‘this person attended/participated in this training and fulfilled all the requirements’. You have no idea what those requirements were. You have no idea what the qualifications of the certifying institution are! You have no idea how well the person integrated the information presented. You have no idea how well the person implemented the information into their own life. Do they walk the walk or just talk the talk? Think of it in terms of a degree or diploma…you know the person graduated but you have no idea what their GPA was. No wise employer hires someone strictly on the basis of having a degree alone, they always do an interview, right? They ask important questions and listen to the answers. This is how you need to hire any kind of personal development professional, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Back to the two concerning types:

“I Just Went Through A Really Hard Time And Now I Want To Help Others…”

This type is well intended. They are on a high from their shift in perspective and want to do something more! They have the drive!! That’s awesome, however that drive really needs to be applied to their own further development. DIY personal development is awesome, you certainly can get very far on your own with a few tools, this however does not translate automatically into your being a good teacher for others. I see so many starting to work with others before they are even done working on themselves.

There is a personal inventory that needs to take place. Yes, you have left this relationship and you feel amazing, but have you adjusted the things that caused you to call that into your life in the first place? Just understanding it wasn’t good for you and making the decision to end it does not mean you now have the skills to have healthy relationships, nor does it mean you have the skills and tools necessary to help others do it. I’ve been watching online entrepreneurs in this arena for the past four years. I have seen the majority of coaches ‘out themselves’ and I don’t think the anyone is paying attention. I have seen this time and time and time and time again…

They start off with promotions of beautiful professional photography in front of houses, cars and relationships they’ve ‘manifested’. They have great copy talking about how great their life is and how they can help you too. This goes on for awhile, then one day you might realize you haven’t heard from them in a bit. They disappear only to resurface later with new promotions; “I’m six months sober and I have learned so much. Let me help you too!” or “I finally walked out of my abusive marriage and found the love of my life. Let me help you too!” I am left wondering how many of their clients in the meantime wasted their money -or worse – were damaged while these ‘coaches’ were still figuring out their own lives.

Before you begin your path as a personal development professional you have to have your big ticket items handled.

Beyond that, you have to have a certain amount of time with them under your belt, because you don’t always know you have it mastered until you are challenged again…that’s how the Universe works. This is not to say that as Personal Development professionals we do not have things we still need to work on, nor that we won’t have situations come up. There is always room to expand and life always has curve balls, but how that is handled distinguishes the professional from the amateur.

The second type: “I Walked Away From A Six-Figure Income To Follow My Dream…”

What have they done exactly that might indicate they are good at being a personal development coach? Ok, so they had a six-figure income. That alone is not a measurement of personal development, we have only to turn on shows like “Real Housewives” to prove that. How does having that background indicate higher evolution? What credibility does it lend? What have they done exactly? Ok so they followed their dream. Do you know what that dream was? How long did they follow it that now their dream is working with others? Or is this just a way to make more money than their dream affords? They have left a high paying job, to pursue selling themselves to others as an expert at something and yet actually proclaim nothing. Ok, so they quit, learned to meditate, spout positive thinking and this makes them inspirational? I don’t think so. I think they have cornered the market on self-promotion and that is all. They are selling the unsuspecting buyer on their image with no substance. Personal development is more than meditation, magical thinking and motivation.

How can either of these types help their clients build solid foundations for getting through challenges and improve their experience of life? Foundations that will last the rest of their life? Maybe they know what worked for them, but how do they know what will work for another?

Personal development is real and deep work. It doesn’t happen by just repeating affirmations, stating goals and thinking positively. Nor does it happen by mimicking what another has done.

There is an influx of ‘coaches’ in the personal development field. A wave of well-intentioned motivated individuals dedicated to help others traverse rough terrain in Life. In truth, I love it. I love that so many who have done their work are breaking free of the problem focused models of Psychiatry, Social Work, Therapy etc. to embrace a more solution-focused model. What I don’t love is those who haven’t done the real work to move on to the next step in being a personal development professional. This isn’t about ‘being new’ because everyone has a starting point. This is about 1) doing your work, honestly and truthfully and realizing that you must always stay on top of your own stuff; and 2) about doing the additional work to gain the skills to help others.

Its about understanding why what worked for you, worked and why it might not for another. Its about understanding how the human mind works and why it works that way. Its about understanding the Soul and how it works within the elemental body.  Its about understanding the differences in learning styles and how one problem might have several solutions. Its about knowing how to facilitate for others so they can determine which of those solutions is right for them. Its knowing how to set someone up with the right lifetime tools for them. Its about understanding how every problem has a unique origin and a single cause as the same time.

Ya ya ya, but do I need a professional?

So now that I’ve laid all this out, how do you know how to choose the right sort of personal development professional or even if you need one?

Let’s start with how to determine you even need a personal development professional. It isn’t a question of how to determine if you need personal development. I happen to be of the mindset that personal development is a lifelong journey. As long as I am alive I am developing personally. Some don’t have that notion. They would not be interested in personal development and that is certainly ok!

So you are interested in personal development, you don’t have any self-limiting beliefs or irrational fears, things are going great in your life, and when bumps come up you have a healthy network of supporters and excellent coping skills. You understand that the Universe conspires on your behalf and you see that clearly, even when things don’t go the way you expected. You don’t need a personal development professional. 

You are interested in personal development, you have a ton of self-limiting beliefs and irrational fears, things are not going according to plan and you notice you keep dating the same sort of person who may or may not remind you of one or both of your parents. You smoke, eat sugar like its candy (hee hee hee) and don’t like to talk about your problems. You need a personal development professional.

You aren’t opposed to personal development, have everything you could ever want but you still are not what you would call happy. Something seems to be missing. You have a good job (or not) but it doesn’t fulfill you like you thought it would. You struggle in relationships often wondering if something better that might come along, but a bad relationship is better than no relationship. Your friends don’t seem to have this figured out anymore than you do. You need a personal development professional.

Of course there is a full spectrum of examples, but this should give you some kind of idea.

Now for you DIY type people, I suggest you re-read the first part of this post, and possibly look up some Pinterest-gone -wrong posts as well, just as a refresher. You are a responsible grown adult (assuming) and you have all the capability in the world to DIY personal development. The thing is, you don’t know what you can trust. You can’t trust your programming because you’ve already decided it hasn’t been working thus far. You can’t know, what you don’t know. This programming has been installed since your birth by your parents, community, school church and peers. It is this programming, insidious in nature, that is creating the problems you haven’t yet been able to isolate, eradicate and replace. You can’t see you from where you are sitting. In some instances this would be like cleaning your house with the lights off at midnight. Technically, you could do the job, but it will take you much longer and you are bound to miss stuff that will show up when the sun rises. Fresh eyes on the task, not to mention a fresh brain with a wealth of new resources to pick, will make for swifter success and results that are more likely to stick.

Whom To Choose

Wow, now that one is not so easy, because no matter how hard I try I will forget (or not be aware of) someone. Forgive me if you are personal development professional and I’ve left you out.

There are money coaches, mindset coaches, life coaches, business coaches, love coaches, relationship coaches, NLP coaches, manifesting coaches, holistic health and wellness coaches, transformational coaches etc.. (Are there any without the term ‘coach’? I couldn’t find any.) There are the metaphysical types; psychics, mediums, intuitives, empaths, and energy healers.  Energy healers include Reiki, QiGong, Crystal, Therapeutic Touch, Shiatsu, Bars and so so soooo many more!  This list is not exhaustive by any means, but you get the idea.

How do you possibly choose? Good question.

First of all decide whether you want a more metaphysical or practical approach to your adventure. That cuts things in half right there. Secondly, decide what you want your focus to be. Do you need extra help with your relationship with money or in romance? Is that your focus? Or do you see yourself needing to address issues across the board of your life? Is your business your main focal point? Are you experiencing some chronic or acute physical issues? Answering these questions will further narrow down your search.

Once you’ve narrowed down your focus you need to start googling what you can expect of that genre. If you think a money coach is what you need for instance, google money coaching and see what comes up. Educate yourself on the trainings and programs out there. Research those institutions, look up their curriculum/accreditations/qualifications. Note which sounds most responsible to you. Then start looking for individuals. Remember that certifications are just indications of participation. Do not let them be your only criteria. If someone has raised themselves from rags to riches that’s pretty good criteria, too. (Just be sure to vet the story, as stated next.)

After you’ve selected a few individuals its time to do your due diligence in researching them, too. Cyber stalk them…well, not really, but flush out their social media presence. Do a deep dive, don’t just take their website’s word for it. Go hunting on social media platforms. Note if they have all positive messages one week but then go on rants the next. Google the snot out of them. If a recent arrest record comes up, you can easily scratch that one off the list. What relevant jobs did they hold previous to this? Scroll back on their personal pages as far as you can (send a friend request if you can’t). Look for discrepancies in their timelines. Note if they might have a personal profile and a separate professional profile, what does that say to you? Yay or Nay? Research them thoroughly, you are about to put your life in their hands for remodeling. You don’t want to treat that lightly. If you see reviews on their social media business page then see if you can message that reviewer to get more information.

Narrow it down to no more than three individuals and schedule interviews. From their professional side of things they will call it a ‘discovery call’ or a ‘free consultation’, but you need to control that narrative. You are interviewing them as much as or more so than they are interviewing you. If you don’t feel the vibe, then pass. Use your intuition rather than your logic. Too often logic takes us away from what we need rather than towards it (because logic is instilled programming and is highly influenced by fear-based propoganda). We can be ‘sold’ on something because it can seem logical, but in the long run not actually in our best interest.

Finally

So there you go. My manifesto on personal development professionals. I never intended it to be this long, but if it serves its purpose (to get the right client in the hands of the right professional by educating the consumer) then my work here is done.

Personal development drives me. It has driven me ever since I can remember. It drove me into Social Work, where I had less occasion to assist others in this manner than I envisioned. And it drove me to pursue opening up to assist others in a full-time professional capacity as well. I love it. I love everything about it. I love how we hold the truth within our own selves and how amazing that realization is when it comes. I love how we have the power to heal ourselves in so many ways! Sometimes we just need a little guidance on how to focus that power, that’s all.

I’m here if you need me. You know that.

Oh…

and I love you.

~Jade

 

 

 

 

 

Self-Promoting Heart-Centered Entrepreneurs

I haven’t done a study on this, but I’m guessing that if you talk to any spiritual entrepreneur they will tell you that self-promotion is or was a hurdle for them.

Why? Why is it SO hard for us to talk ourselves up? There are probably as many reasons as there are spiritual entrepreneurs. I myself, can name several. There is the ‘it doesn’t count unless someone else says it’ factor. The programming installed by my mother, who said that saying something nice about yourself was bragging which is a sin, paired with the “nothing good was true about you unless someone else said it.”

Then there is the worthiness factor, which I know is common amongst us, ‘I am not worth being paid’. Then there is what I call the ‘holiness factor’, attached to the ‘vow of poverty’ associated with spiritual servants (which is a crock of poo), that people should do spiritual work out of the kindness of their hearts. Then there is the ‘self-promotion is egoistic’ factor, ah….that’s today’s demon. How to tell others that I am confident in the services I provide without sounding like a) a used car salesman, or b) a vulture.

So I sat in meditation about it and communed with Spirit. What I got was eye-opening and I got homework! Spirit never ever fails me. When I need to find an answer it is always there. ALWAYS. Here is what they said, and I quote…

“Ok so you don’t like shameless self-promotion? Do what you resist! Your task is 5 shameless days of self-promotion 5x a day. Do that and find your groove. Others feel sleazy because they may be sleazy. But they are the shadow of that which you desire. So do the challenge and find what’s on the other side of the shadow.” 

OMG! There is SO much wisdom in here! YES there are sleazy self-promoters, but by the law of duality if there is sleazy there is not-at-all-sleazy somewhere, why haven’t I embraced that? Yes, they are the shadow which means something had to cast that shadow, right? How did that evade me? So by jumping in and DOING it instead of resisting it, I can find the not-at-all-sleazy part. I can find that which is casting the shadow!

So, what that means for you all is that you will see me five times a day, for the next five days, promoting myself in all sorts of ways. Feel free to offer feedback, I’m open to that! I’m going to be looking for my groove. What feels authentic and comfortable (and not the ‘oh I’m hiding’ kind of comfortable) for me.

So, this is one ( maybe five if I post it several different places!) What I outlined here, communing with Spirit, is one way I help others as well. Its easy for me to connect with Spirit to get answers I couldn’t otherwise find. I can do it for others as easily as I do it for myself (this is why I do not have a preordained format for working with clients). Best of all I can walk others through learning how to get comfortable doing it for themselves. My whole philosophy is not so much to HEAL YOU but to show you where YOUR HEALING POWER lies!!

I love you.

~Jade

P.S. If self-promotion is a challenge for you too, feel free to grab this challenge for yourself! Tag me in it…I’d love to follow your journey!!

Beautiful – It’s Not What You Think

IMG_20170904_104700I love to do a good face mask. My favorite is Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay mask made from Calcium Bentonite Clay. I love it because I feel like it actually digs deep down and pulls stuff out of my pores and afterwards my skin glows. I find it an analogy for so many things. Digging the crap out of your internal psychoemotional pores and sloughing off the dead surface layer to allow the deeper radiance to shine through.

Its also an analogy for something else. As I endeavor to do more videos, I am more aware of my appearance and notice myself weighing this feature against another when setting things up. I often opt out of doing a video because I don’t feel like showering and putting on make up. As I looked into the mirror while putting on the mask and cherishing this moment of indulgence, it hit me.

Not all moments of beauty are beautiful.

To prove it, I took this picture. (This face never fails to make my hubby laugh.) Aside from that though it caused me to think about other non-beautiful moments of beauty. Pictures like that fireman carrying the child on 9/11, or childbirth, or a mother’s face just after giving birth as she holds her newborn all sweaty and fatigued.

But there are many many MANY more non-beautiful moments of beauty that we can’t take pictures of and might not even recognize as such. Moments of ferreting out those thoughts, beliefs and emotional patterns that don’t serve our spiritual destiny. Ugly stuff. It feels uncomfortable, awkward and sometimes seemingly painful, but in the end the beauty it creates in our lives is limitless. Without these non-beautiful moments of beauty we could not explore our true beauty.

Right now, I guarantee there are non-beautiful moments going on right now in your life that you can’t embrace for their hidden beauty. I know I have a shit-ton of them right now and I was completely overlooking them.

As a Intuitive Spiritual Transformation Facilitator I fall into the trap often of thinking I need to present a ‘perfect package’, like so many others do, to prove I’ve ‘made it’ and therefore worthy of getting paid to walk with others on their journey. Pfft, as if there were a landing space called ‘success’ in life! There are no landing places. This is a journey and there are hills, valleys, mountains, curves and steep grades, but no landing places. We stop to catch our breath then we keep moving. The only landing place is the present moment we are in. In each present moment there are gifts…some are beauties and some are uglies.

Instead of hiding mine, I’m going to share and I hope you will too. Getting the uglies out into the daylight can help us see their hidden beauty. Here we go…

These are the Uglies I can get caught up in: My husband had a brainstem stroke in January of this year. He is the bread winner of the family currently as I struggle to get my business going. My daughter has been in a dark place since her father died a year ago. I’m in court fighting his deathbed widow over my own retirement funds. As a result of a kylego I created, envisioned and organized an amazing two day transformational retreat/workshop. Despite my excitement and  forward feeling of achievement not one person has registered. My husband is in construction and we got stiffed just under $7,000 on a tiling job this month. Subsequently, our mortgage automatic payment bounced. I broke a tooth about a month ago and made arrangements to pay half at the first visit and half at the second visit to get it fixed. Because of being stiffed we didn’t have the resources to go back for the second visit.

Now here are the beauties that have shown up as a result: My husband’s recovery has been amazing. With a combination of mindset work and energy healing work he was the shortest stay in the rehab unit they have ever had. He went back to work the Monday after he was released, with caution. He was back to driving within months. The lasting effects are minimal and isolated mostly to short term memory loss and expressive communication. My daughter has moved back home to heal from her loss and has turned a corner in the darkness that grief can be. I just won an important appeal in my court case. Although right now no one else will experience my amazing retreat I have done some really phenomenal work creating interactive, reflective and transformative individual, paired and group exercises all ready and waiting to go for future retreats/workshops and client work. The best part is that I got to do that creating. The only thing I love more than creating transformative experiences is facilitating them for people. Despite getting stiffed on $7,000 worth of work, we kept the lights on. We didn’t miss the mortgage payment, because although the one contractor failed to pay, my hubby had secured another job. It was enough to cover that mortgage payment (the deposit was made hours after the automatic payment was kicked) as well as some other necessities.  My temporary crown is holding nicely and we shall soon have enough money for me to go back for the permanent one because work is lined up.

I can even go back further to three years ago when I quit my 28 year career to move across two states where we bought a house with no money and no credit; and when I had fibromyalgia and was living with an average daily pain of 7-8, to now when my average daily experience is a pain level 1 with no meds.

I could go back even further because at 53 I’ve come a long long way baby…but I won’t. 🙂

The point is we have a tendency at times to define our journeys by the distance we have yet to go, and by lamenting things that don’t show up the way we think they need to and thus overlooking the multitude of ways we manifest abundance and miracles. When you are stuck in “what am I doing wrong that I can’t manifest what I want” remember your ‘success’ is about the distance travelled not the distance yet to go…

*Please share your ‘uglies’ either in words or pictures below! Let’s all be real and share our non-beautiful moments of beauty with each other!

Is This You Or Someone You Know?

Does anyone ever feel like they’re just not meant for this life? I know how blessed I am. I live in a developed country, I have a family, friends, a house, animals who I adore and a job. Everything people who are less fortunate would die for. But I’m still not happy. I feel so forced. I just want to be running wild and free, a natural woman, with animals and living off the land. I don’t want the troubles of money, the social media, the modern life. Is that really even natural for humans? Is anyone really comfortable living like this or is it just something we have to accept because everyone else does. My head hurts because it just can’t cope with what society wants from me  ☹️” ~Woman A
“Im with you! Feels so pointless and empty at times. On my good days [I’m trying to] work towards a more fulfilling life but am not really sure how to get there or if its worth it etc etc. Its is society not us thats wrong, take each day as it comes is all you can do. Stay strong we will get there…x Woman B in response to woman A
“Can I ask for guidance again? My mother wasn’t the warmest individual growing up. She’s someone multiple therapists have told me to cut out of my life, even if it’s just until I’m stronger. I’ve gone through much of my adult life in an off and on relationship with her because of her controlling nature. When I was a child I was often compared to other children and asked why I can’t be like someone else’s kid or why their kid, who’s “slow” (her words, not mine) would be doing better than me. I was locked in closets, kicked out of the house at night, told she wished I wasn’t hers, which didn’t end until 7th grade…”~Woman C

Is this you or someone you know? This is just a sampling of what I’ve been hearing lately. We as woman have suffered under patriarchy. That is not a feminist or anti-masculine thing. We can only survive in a balanced society and this is NOT that!

This feeling, THIS longing, THIS UNSETTLING is why the Healing Rite of Passage was created. Men and woman are invited to join in the Feminine Rising that this will be. Its not male bashing and it isn’t ‘woman stuff’ it is just a connecting to the feminine yin energies that have been ignored for centuries now. We need to connect to Mother Earth AND Father Sky. To Grandmother Moon AND Grandfather Sun. We can ONLY be our highest selves, live the highest version of our lives and have the grandest experiences when we are balanced in masculine and feminine energies.

We HAVE to heal the wounds of the past that keep harming us. You don’t know how to ‘get there’ because no one taught you to look inside yourself. And you can’t do it with the eyes that society has taught you to look through. It has set you up to fail.

There is SO much you can do to get so much more out of life! I can help you unlearn everything you’ve learned that is actually getting in your way. You have to go deeper than just meditating and gratitude journalling. You have to unravel all the manipulative programming EGOS set in play. You have learn the truth about how the Universe works by understanding and working WITH (not against) the three Universal Laws and their seven principles.

Universal Laws

Take a step today and reserve your spot or contact Jade Willow Song for more information, right now!

When: September 16 & 17, 2017
Where: Waterford, Michigan
Early Bird Registration: $500*
Registration after September 1, 2017: $675*

For Tickets: https://squareup.com/store/judy-klemos

Recommended affordable nearby accommodations: http://www.oldemillinnofclarkston.com/

*Introductory prices only- 2018 prices are $675 and $800

Healing Rite of Passage Retreat/Workshop

58957_1451367004156_1754294_n“I ate once. It didn’t work. I was hungry again in a couple of hours.” 

You never hear anyone saying that, do you? But ask about meditation, or yoga or journalling and that is a very common answer. 

Body, Mind and Spirit…that’s what we are. We are a carefully constructed mechanism made up of these three compartments. Without any one of these we cease to exist. 

REALLY. Think about that for a minute. 

It is pretty clear when your body is hungry for food or thirsty for water. You then have the choice of what to provide; healthy food and pure water or junk food and pop. You feed it and then what? You have to do it again a couple hours later. 

Your body also hungers for air and that is one you cannot ignore at all. Again, it is a constant give and take, not a one and done deal.

Your body also hungers for movement, but that’s subtle and easier to ignore than the need for food or water. Those into physical fitness know that regular exercise is necessary for a healthy body…none of them ever expect one workout to be enough. When you ignore the need for movement, you start experiencing more symptoms of aging and physical breakdown. 

Do you see where I’m going with this, yet?

Your mind also has needs. It hungers for new information to process, good books to read, interesting studies and, of course, fulfilling work. It isn’t enough for you to just intake new goodness, but its important to share as well with others in good conversations, social settings and a job that allows you to teach or share something. 

When you try to ignore this aspect of yourself, it looks like addiction: binge watching TV, pharmaceuticals, recreational drugs, sex, smoking, shopping, etc…

Your spirit also has needs. Your spirit is the energetic body and it hungers for connection and love. It is the part of you that makes you, ‘You’. It is by far the ‘easiest’ to ignore but with the most detrimental of consequences.

When you ignore this aspect of yourself it shows up as depression, anxiety, idiopathic chronic dis-ease, drug abuse, alcoholism, cancer, etc…

Notice with the body and mind that there are things we do DAILY to nourish and replenish them: exercise, hygiene, sleep, food, water, work, entertainment, even education.

But, for some, spirit is expected to exist on merely one hour, one day a week of nourishment! 

There is no doubt that the body is more fragile than the mind or the spirit, which is why there are such clear cues as to when it needs to be fed, watered or aired. Yet, still a person whose spirit is considerably neglected will develop things like anorexia or suicidal ideation which is counter intuitive (and overrides the desire) for physical survival. 

Ok so now, over the course of your life, how much time has been dedicated to the care and feeding of your spirit compared to your body and mind? 

Get a calendar, I’ll wait…

We both know over the course of your life you have neglected your spirit far more than you have neglected your mind and your body, right?


Not saying you haven’t neglected them too, but by and large most people neglect their spirit most of all. 

As I said, the spirit is the energetic body of the body/mind/spirit combo, therefore whatever happens to the body and mind affects the spirit and vice verse. When we experience trauma, grief, or other emotional pain we experience it in all three aspects, but again it is usually just the body and mind that get the attention for healing. This means that there are all kinds of leftovers in our spirit refrigerator that need clearing out. 

Again, this is not a one and done thing. Even when we think we’ve processed effectively, every time we think about the event and it brings up emotions in response we are re-experiencing the event and therefore causing more harm that needs to be healed. We are calling back the energy of that event and storing it in our energetic body.

This is why The Healing Rite of Passage Retreat/Workshop promises to be one of the most important things you will ever do for your body, mind AND spirit. 

  • You will learn how to access your energetic body and clear out blockages and heal wounds. 
  • You will learn new communication techniques that allow you to speak from your spirit and not your ego. 
  • You will develop new relationships with like-minded journeyers. 
  • You will have the experience of living from your spirit for two days. 
  • You will experience shamanic healing.
  • You will experience facilitating healing for others.
  • You will experience a lightness of body, mind and spirit as you release what no longer serves you. 
  • …and so so SO much more.

And after the closing ceremony your life will never be the same (unless you choose it to be so).

A rite of passage, by definition, is a ceremony or event marking an important stage in someone’s life. If you are ready for the past to be the past, to release old relationships and wounds, or just take the opportunity to give your spirit the intensive care it needs, then you need to reserve your spot in our Transformation Circle today. 

When: September 16 & 17, 2017
Where: Waterford, Michigan
Early Bird Registration: $500
Registration after September 1, 2017: $675

For tickets: https://squareup.com/store/judy-klemos

Recommended affordable nearby accommodations

http://www.oldemillinnofclarkston.com/

Three Years of Healing

I don’t even have enough words to tell you how much I love my life. 

Three years ago, I felt debilitated. Not many know that, as I never wanted pain to get in my way of living, but everyday was a struggle. What I felt almost on a daily basis like getting the flu body aches two days after having done a super hard work out at the gym. The body aches often felt like my muscles were being ripped from my bones with each step I took. By the end of a day of work, trumping up my apartment stairs and walking the dogs took the last ounces of energy I had. So cooking was done on a large scale, twice a week, maybe three times. I cooked in large quantities and we ate leftovers all week. 

I hurt everywhere all the time. The best way I can describe it is to say that on the average my pain was at a seven or eight on a daily basis, with really bad days at ten and would have me calling off work. On top of the fibromyalgia I had migraines.

 

Just three years ago.

To some that might seem a long time. To others that might sound like a day. What you don’t know know is that this is something I was battling for almost fifteen years before that. It started with gaining weight and not being able to sleep.
Over the course of those fifteen years I dedicated my life to healthy living. I sorted fads from fact, embraced alternative perspectives and double checked every resource to guard against bias. I combined energetic, allopathic, naturopathic, and homeopathic.
Looking back, as dedicated as I was, I can see now that despite my best efforts, I was taking two steps forward and four steps back.
Doing things like leaving my 20 year marriage and changing jobs helped me gain some ground, but it wasn’t enough. While one thing would heal, more symptoms would move to the forefront, resulting in the final diagnosis of fibromyalgia.
I never ever stopped believing though; all the Universal Laws and Principles held me fast. Just because I wasn’t seeing the results I intended, didn’t shake my faith in my understanding how this Universe works.

My faith is bigger than my experience.

However, I never got comfortable one landing place. I was always using the opportunity to learn and evolve more. Again, I separated fad from fact and in some cases from the fanatical. I took volumes of notes, digested them and pared them all down to simple no-nonsense experiential interventions.  Faith doesn’t have a landing place either. One does not simply remain with the childhood structure you were spoon fed; that would be irresponsible. You must explore all other alternatives so that you know that which you hold, is the most fitting treasure.
Faith has to be bigger than your experience or it isn’t faith, its logic.
Faith is doing something you know is good for you even if it doesn’t land you the results you most wish. It keeps me eating healthy even though the scale does not move. It keeps me walking even when it sometimes hurts more for a short time. It keeps me doing QiGong even though it hurts to stand that long.

What?

Yes.

Remember when I told you I love my life? Now we are getting to the heart of it.

While three years ago I felt debilitated, I no longer do. On a daily basis my pain level is on average a one. When I stand too long or go grocery shopping it can shoot up to an eight or even as high as ten. When I allow myself to get chilled, it skyrockets as well.

But that’s not all I love about my life.

Now, this is the part where so many of my colleagues would list things like million dollar homes, five figure monthly incomes, constant client flow or about half a dozen other ‘measures of success’ they think is enviable.

That’s not me though.

I like to give the whole picture, not just the shiny parts, because it isn’t the results that are important, but I’ll go into that in a moment…

Three years ago I walked out of a traditional color by numbers life, into a life I had never even imagined. I never did a vision board about it. I didn’t visualize it.

It came to me because I aligned myself which opened up the pathway for my life to find me.

Right now, I don’t have a million dollar house. I have a house we bought as a foreclosure and we haven’t finished rehabbing it yet. For the most part we do ok. When I look back on last year though, I realize we are doing far better than we were! Oh yeah, and my beloved had a stroke this past January (2017).

How can I love my life, you ask?

Because it isn’t about the results. Results can be shaded and highlighted to give you a false picture. Like those colleagues that tell you they ‘manifested a million dollar house’ but don’t tell you they are renting it. (Not that there is anything wrong with renting it, but that part is always left out.)

Results ebb and flow. Sometimes there will be shit tons of money flowing in and sometimes it will be flowing out. I’ll always be grateful for both.

My life is amazing. I have met and married the love of my life. A love that feels like home. Our relationship is far and away beyond anything I ever dreamt possible. Honestly, even with all my powers of visualization I could not have realized that this man was what I needed. We bought a house without the help of a financial institution. He has a steady influx of business and even when he had his stroke we have all we need and quite a lot of what we want.

Since I mentioned it, let’s talk about the stroke, for a minute. I know some are inclined to look at such a thing as a failure of LOA; that what I preach isn’t working, because if it did it would’ve protected us from such an event. But that isn’t how Life (or LOA for that matter) works. It really isn’t.

This beloved man that came into my life so late (yet right on time) had a small stroke in his brainstem on January 19, 2017. In case you don’t know, a ‘small’ stroke is not indicative of how much damage is done. It has to do with where the stroke occurred; in the small or large blood vessels. That said, the damage Chris has sustained was minimal and he’s recovered most of that. He got just enough of a scare that he started taking his health seriously. The things that remain impaired are serving as daily reminders of his need to put his health first.

There’s even more. My daughter who was struggling with so very much for these same three years has come through her dark night of the soul and promises to fulfill the Source potential within her. She has more clarity, passion and inspiration than ever before in her life. I literally have never been more proud of her.

You see the Universal Laws, Life, Awakening, Enlightenment etc.. aren’t about ‘manifesting only good stuff’; they are about establishing a structure that enables us to see the ‘bad’ stuff is just as valuable.

That’s the deal. To keep doing what you know is in alignment even when it doesn’t render you the results you intended.

Three years of healing has brought me here. To this amazing moment. A moment where I am fully aware at all times of all possibilities and am excited for the next and all its possibilities.

There is SOOOOOOOOO much that goes into Life it can’t even be summed up in one post, maybe not even one book. However, I will try to cover everything in my upcoming events, starting with the Healing Rite of Passage on September 16th and 17th, 2017. If you are interested please make sure to contact us for details and to reserve your spot.

Illness Is Your Soul’s Dis-Ease

don't compare memeIn 2009 I packed my, then 16 year old, daughter and moved out of my 20 year marriage. We moved in with a friend of mine, which did not turn out to be a healthy choice, and we moved yet again, 9 months later. After three years of separation, the divorce was finalized in January of 2012. 

In November of 2012, just six months into a new relationship, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. At its best it was unbearable, at its worst it was debilitating. I was working a 40 hour week as a social worker in a social service agency. A career I had been very very good at for 28 years. Some even said I was born to do it.  

Just like the marriage, the job/career no longer served me. They were both killing me.

I had ‘done everything right’, but it all ‘went wrong’. I tried to follow the standards that society set up for me: Go to college, establish yourself in a long-term career, get married/stay married, raise babies, secure a retirement fund and when you retire you can do all the things you dreamed.

In other words, be safe.

In June of 2013 my beloved and I took a three day vacation. It was 8 months after being diagnosed and I hadn’t had a day free of pain since before the diagnosis. We went deep into nature, a state park steeped in Native American history, lush with trees and running water. I was absolutely pain free for those three days. No electronics. No work. Hiking, eating, walking and napping.

Pain free.

That was my first clue that my illness was not physical at all, but spiritual.

A year later I quit my job, retired from social work and moved across two states to live with my beloved in a new area with lots of trees and water. That was three years ago. 

I KNOW now my dis-order was my soul growling, shedding, cracking and splitting up to the surface through the depths of illusion and facade that my ego (earth generated operating-system) had created. My soul was trying to reveal itself and my resistance to it was causing me pain. My life was literally making me sick.

In the three years since, I’ve published my first book, Strongest In Our Broken Places, married my beloved, stepped onto my path as a transformation facilitator and and am fully embracing my calling as a mentor, guide, companion, intuitive, healer, author, transformation workshop leader and medicine woman.  

Three years after beginning to live from my soul, I manage my physical condition without any pharmaceuticals. I tried them early on, but they made me feel so gross. I’ve travelled a path of natural remedies to get to this point now. I take a few natural supplements, receive torque technique chiropractic care, do QiGong daily, connect with nature daily and occasionally take over the counter pain relievers as necessary. The most important thing I do though, is live a soul-directed life. A life that feeds my soul. Finding THAT has been the single most important intervention in remedying my soul’s dis-ease. Today my pain free days outnumber my pain filled ones at least two to one. And when I feel that fibro pain, I know its because I’ve allowed myself to get away from my soul calling the shots.

Illness is not coincidence. It is a message from your soul. Its trying to tell you something is amiss and if you’ve been ignoring that message then it will begin to affect your physical health by way of dis-ease and dis-order. Listening to your soul is the single most important thing you can do for yourself, your loved ones, your health and the world. Anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, CFS, bi-polar disorder, idiopathic anything etc…these are just a few of the many methods our souls use to communicate.

If you are ill, listen carefully to that message and if you need help translating it, seek out assistance from a holistic practitioner that resonates with you and always coordinate complementary care with your allopathic physician.

~Jade

Valor of Consciousness

The Darkness is not afraid of the Light
It craves it.
It seeks transformation only the Light can provide.

Darkness transforms nothing. It has no Power.
It is the absence of Light;
the absence of Power.

The Light cannot be transmuted
only obscured;
by those who are blind to it.

The Darkness cannot be obscured
only transmuted;
by those who embrace it.

The Journey of Light to Dark
is tempestuous cowardice of illusion;
one decision at a time.

The Journey of Dark to Light
is serene valor of consciousness;
one decision at a time.

©2017 Jade Klemos

Oppression vs Imprisonment

I am oppressed when I perceive I am oppressed. No one may intend to oppress me, but because I perceive I am oppressed, I am oppressed.
 
I am not oppressed if I do not perceive myself to be oppressed. One may intend to oppress me, but because I perceive I am not oppressed, I am not oppressed.
 
I empower myself. No one else can empower me, because I was BORN powerful and only I control that power, even if I choose to control it by perceiving I no longer have it.
 
Now, imprisonment is another thing. Prisons are built everywhere, often invisible to the naked eye. Prisons are built with fear as easily as with brick and mortar.

The Tao of Manifesting

I went to The College of St. Teresa, in Winona, MN, an all women’s Catholic facility. One of our buildings was Tao Center, a guest house run by the nuns. That was the first I’d heard Tao and no clue what it meant. What I knew is that I loved being in that building because it was extremely peaceful, even simply walking in the hallways.

Generally stated, Tao is the flow of energy through the Universe. It is a big word with many uses and even more understandings. It is that way on purpose. The Tao is experiential, thus making it impossible for two people to have the same understanding of it. In short, defining Tao is the language version of nailing jello to a wall.

For purposes of our discussion today, Tao, is the flow of chi (life energy).

Understanding Tao is fundamental to the concept of manifesting. I’ve discussed manifesting before and feel strongly that it has become largely a business buzz word now. However, it still is an important concept to thoroughly understand. The biggest problem I encounter with my clients is their focus on manifesting.

“How do I manifest a better life? A car? Winning the lottery? A better job? More money?  A successful business?”

Manifesting is not a process so much as it is an outcome…a result of the process of Tao.

The process of Tao is like breathing. The outcome of good breathing (and yes there is bad breathing) is fully oxygenated blood. The outcome of bad breathing is not fully oxygenated blood. No one ever thinks about oxygenating their blood when they are breathing, in fact, most of the time no one ever thinks about their breathing at all. Yet they are doing it all the time.

When we are conscious of our breathing we can change the chemistry of our body. We oxygenate our blood fully, we relax our muscles and affect the hormones produced. Our experience is heightened by merely breathing more consciously. So it is with living and manifesting. When we live consciously we affect the energy of our life, our chi, and this affects the things around us. When we raise our chi vibrations, the lower chi vibrations in the Universe become uncomfortable and move further away from us, while the higher chi vibrations of the Universe resonate with us and move closer. Thus our experience is heightened by living more consciously.

The converse is, of course, also true when we do not live consciously and lower our chi vibration.

The focus needs not to be on what we wish to manifest, but how we live our lives. The mere intention of doing something with the purpose to manifest a specific desired result is ‘forcing’ and not allowing Tao to work.

Tao is like water. If Tao is flowing South with the intention of landing you on a particular beach you don’t even know exists, but your intentions are set on landing at a Northern dock you do know exists then you are then forcing and not going with the flow.

This is where the pop culture teachings of manifestation go astray. Some teachings tell you to be so specific in your intentions, down to the last penny on a manifestation check, or the exact color of the make of the car you desire. This is teaching you to force, not allow.

By the same token you cannot be so lax that you put no effort into the journey. Consider yourself afloat on a river. You go the direction the river carries you, but you must steer to navigate through the rocks and rapids. And there will be rocks and rapids, I assure you. Even when you are doing everything ‘right’ (and of course there really is no right or wrong, but just for today, let’s use it) by allowing flow and living consciously. The rocks and rapids are put there on purpose to give us challenges, because only through challenges do we discover things about ourselves that we could not discover otherwise.

The balance is to go with the flow and not get caught in the undertow.

There are times the river will run high and fast. Often this is when the undertow of doubt, fear and overwhelm can capsize you and suck you under. This is sabotage. You might tell yourself ‘this is too easy’ or ‘I am not worthy of this’; these are the beginnings of the undertow tugging at you. ‘I can’t do this’ or ‘I won’t be able to handle it’, tugging even harder. ‘This can’t work’, ‘this isn’t working’, ‘this is coincidence’ etc…you’re going under.

Similar thoughts will occur when encountering rocks and shallow waters. ‘This is too hard’, ‘I don’t deserve this’, ‘I can’t do this’, ‘I won’t be able to handle it’ etc… This is how you know they are misnomers, because you can’t have the same thoughts about two different experiences right? If you are not ‘content’ with high waters and fast flowing and also not satisfied with shallow waters and rocks then what is REALLY going on? Sabotage. That’s what’s going on.

These thoughts are SYMPTOMS of beliefs that lie deep within you. It’s the BELIEFS not the mere THOUGHTS that are the problem. Thoughts are a result of beliefs. Control the beliefs and you control the thoughts.

Your beliefs, not your thoughts are what raise your vibrations. Your thoughts are based on intention, your intentions stem from your beliefs. Consider the person who does nice things when people are looking, but not so nice things when no one is. What is the intention there? From what belief is it originating? What vibrational level do you think exists there?

It is not the WHAT but the WHY that Tao responds to most.