I have struggled on my spiritual path for more than a minute.

History

In the beginning, I was a devout Catholic. As my brain developed through young adulthood and I began to see the incongruences, I explored alternate religions. I studied, to a greater or lesser degree, non-denominational Christianity, Taoism, Buddhism, Hindu, Muslim, Paganism, Wicca and others.

In my research I discovered that the FIRST organized religion was Shamanism. It was found on every single continent. To me this was profound. It meant that as individual independent communities they shared similarities. To ME that was an indicator of Truth from Spirit.

But at the time I felt strongly opposed to ‘misappropriating’ another’s culture. I saw Shamanism as a sacred practice that belonged to Indigenous tribes and I as a white American woman had no right to that.

I had felt a strong attraction and affinity for the Native American culture since the 6th grade, when I was first introduced to their history. As I grew, my affinity also grew and I came to believe I had been a Native American in a past life. I literally felt like an Indian in white skin, though I shared that thought with no one.

So, I found myself the next best thing. Earth Centered Religions held many of the same principles as Shamanism, and, in fact, are the second oldest ‘religion’ (Shamanism isn’t REALLY considered a religion.) So, of the Earth Centered Religions, Wicca was closest to resonating with me. That is where I landed for over a decade. Though I felt dissonance with the hierarchy of covens so I was solitary for the most part.

As I developed my energy healing style, I felt the Medicine Woman in me very much. Yet, I also felt strongly that I was unworthy of calling myself a Shaman. At one point I did call myself a Medicine Woman, until society’s issues of racism became forefront.

In short, I let society at large, and specific individuals, get in the way of Spirit guiding me.

In the back of my mind I always wished/hoped/fantasized that, at some point, I would have an encounter with a bloodline Native American who would take one look at me and ‘see’ my spiritual heritage and validate me by seeing my “Red Spirit” as I called it.

It wouldn’t be until much much later in life that I would pick up the Sacred Path Cards by Jamie Sams and read these words, that I felt that validation.

“The prophecy of the Whirling Rainbow was very specific. When the Time of the White Buffalo approaches, the third generation of the White Eyes’ children will grow their hair and speak of love as the healer of the Children of Earth. These children will seek new ways of understanding themselves and others. They will wear feathers and beads and paint their faces. They will seek the Elders of the Red Race and drink of their wisdom. These white-eyed children will be a sign that the Ancestors are returning in white bodies, but they are Red on the inside. They will learn to walk the Earth Mother in balance again and reform the ideas of the white chiefs. These children will be tested as they were when they were Red ancestors by unnatural substances like firewater to see if they can remain on The Sacred Path.”

This was it!! My validation!! This is what I felt all along!! And when I think on it now, and if you read my article on my experience of Cannabis it coincides.

But saying this aloud in society, especially in the days after George Floyd, was, as Jamie Sams said, ‘testing’. I was told flat out that I should ‘give up my seat at the table’ and that ‘no white middle aged woman should call herself a Shaman.’

I kid you not. And it was by someone I had respected immensely.

It stung deeply. When that happens I know there is much to explore. So, explore, I did; through research, meditation and journeying.

Spirit responded with things like, ‘does this sound like Spirit talking?’ ‘Does this sound like someone’s ego?’ ‘Would Native Americans or any Indigenous ever lay ownership to Spirituality? Would they ever deny a willing person access to healing techniques that could help heal the world? Would they ever get in the way of someone’s spiritual path?’

No. The answer was no. This person of color was no authority. She simply was a human being with brown skin who spoke for herself only, despite speaking as if a spokesperson. She spoke from generational wounds she had not yet healed. The true Spirit of Indigenous people is to live in harmony with the Earth (and ALL it’s inhabitants) and serve the healing of the world. They would be most welcome for more people to come back to the old ways. I mean, if the settlers had accepted the Native American way of living, instead of overpowering them and forcing them to follow ‘white law’, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. There would have been no ‘misappropriation’ of culture, simply the acceptance of a more holistic way of living and living in peace…and we wouldn’t be in the mess we currently are.

Jamie Sams goes on to write,

“Both Grandmothers spoke of the change in feelings the Children of Earth would have during the wobble or healing process as the Whirling Rainbows permeated their dreams. They said, ‘Many will remember their purpose for being on the Earth Walk and will learn to develop their gifts to assist the whole of humanity. Truth will shatter the bonds of separation and goodness will prevail.”

Still I resisted the call to become a Shaman because the teachers I would have access to were white. So I read many books. I took online training. But something was missing.

How Spirit Tricked Me Into Being A Shaman

About a year and a half ago Spirit sent me to a Shaman without my knowledge.

Two Falls ago a woman gave me the name of a person she said was a gifted reader, Joe. She really talked Joe up. Now, I do readings, and I do them for myself, friends, and others, but I often like to get readings from others, too. So, when my friend came to visit for two weeks I called to schedule an appointment with Joe, but he was booked three months out. A no go for me and my friend.

A few months later I decided I’d schedule a reading for myself. At that time, his sister, who keeps his calendar, told me the reading was 3 hours long. This seemed odd to me, but only served to make me more intrigued.

Turned out that the only ‘reading’ he does is three cards right before he works on you. Joe is a Shaman.

I had four sessions with him which were profound, but when his sister asked me if I had been the one interested in taking the Shaman class, I told her I was not. It was true. Joe never said anything about a Shaman class to me. Once again, I felt unworthy to ask if I could join it though. I know the Universe had her ask me, but I hid behind years of belief that you don’t ask for something like that, you wait until it is offered to you.

A whole year went by.

Until one day I had enough of the struggle of denying who and what I was, and I reached out to see about joining the class. The wait list was possibly a year, when I explained my situation she got me in the current class that was just a month away.

At this point, I have completed the first of four classes. It will take a year to complete the entire thing, but already that one class has changed my life.

I have never felt like. I belonged to any space more than the Shaman space. By all accounts I have been on this path even though I disallowed myself to call it that. I know better now, so I do better.

I am stepping fully into my role as a Shaman and I incorporate it into my daily routine and consciously walk this path. Since the end of class the teachings have continued through Spirit, Life and by joining other Shamans. I am honored to serve in this capacity, make new friends and expand my consciousness. It is my destiny. There is no question.

I look forward to serving your Shaman needs as well.

Jade