A little known secret of human life is that we have the choice to learn through joy or through sorrow. The more we choose to learn from one the more lessons will show up in that form.

This is how/why people’s lives change so dramatically when they started practicing gratitude. They are making the choice to learn through joy. The more joy you look for the more joy will show up.

It doesn’t mean that heartbreaking things will stop happening. It means our internal landscape will better be able to process the heartbreak in a healthy way.

The other day, I was at a sacred gathering when an individual used her time to demonize practices I happen to participate in. It wasn’t a personal attack, because this person lacks the awareness of my philosophies and beliefs. This person was using the platform inappropriately to randomly disparage nature-based religious tools in front of an audience. The topic was completely unrelated to our purpose there.

This person has been inappropriate before and has been given grace due to certain challenges. However, sometimes that doesn’t do anyone any favors, especially when their behavior actually violates the rights of others.

I left the room for the rest of her rant, however her words stayed with me all week. So I turned to my practice and I meditated, and I soul-searched.

For the past 25-30 years I have been on this spiritual path. Moving further and further away from mainstream spirituality and the organized religions. 25-30 years ago it was actually dangerous for me to share my views out in the open. I often had to suffer through with a straight face as others spewed half-truths and outright lies about my kind of spirituality. I had to suffer through overzealous Christians who mistakenly believed they had been charged with “saving” me.

This latest experience though brought me such clarity that I can only be grateful for it.

The morning I was to encounter her again, Spirit gave me the words I needed. Spirit gave me the clarity that hadn’t quite come in 25+ years of being the recipient of such judgmental comments.

I finally realized that she believes in a God that doesn’t love me, but I believe in a God that loves her anyway.

With that thought I had immediate peace. Immediate. Instantaneous. Perfect. Peace.

When I saw her later that day she ‘apologized’ stating that she just loves God so much that she forgets that not everyone is where she is at. (Insert blank-stare-face-shocked emoji here.)

What now?

Now I knew why Spirit sent me those words.

I let her finish her ‘apology’ and then I said to her what Spirit said to me.

“I forgive you. I was upset and hurt by your words because this is one of my sacred spaces and it is supposed to be safe. But then I realized that you believe in a God that doesn’t love me, but I believe in a God that loves you anyway.”

Her face made a very weird contortion and she said, “Jade, that is harsh.”

What was harsh about it? The reflection in the mirror she was looking at? I didn’t say anything derogatory or judgmental. I simply reduced her bigotry to a simple truth. One that no longer allowed her to hide her prejudice behind a sanctimonious principle.

The interaction went on for a few more minutes without a ‘wrap it up in a bow’ type ending.

But I had my bow. I had my peace. I don’t know if my words impacted her as much as they impacted me. I felt decades of religious oppression melt away because I finally understood the disconnect in a way I hadn’t before.

See, I had always realized that these types of people believed in a God who didn’t love me. What I hadn’t put together is the part where I believe in a God who loves them anyway. Emphasis on the ‘anyway’.

When that realization hit I felt empowered and I knew that the answer to these situations is to always remember that…no matter what the bigotry we are experiencing.

See, my God isn’t punishing or damning. My belief in a God that loves someone anyway breaks the cycle of hatred and bigotry. I am not continuing the downward spiral of energy by thinking that ‘my God will get her’ and that there will be some sort of punishment for her failure. Nope. I am adding more love, more joy, into the mix.

I am not wallowing in the sorrow of the experience. I found joy in it. I found healing in it. I found gratitude in it.

And every time we do that we weave another golden thread into the dream weave, the medicine blanket of energy that connects us all and creates our experience on Earth.

When we choose to learn through sorrow, we weave darkness into the dream weave. When we choose to learn through joy, we weave light into the dream weave. This is how we heal the world. It is how we end the cycles of abuse that exist in every aspect of life in this society. We keep our side of the street clean.

We choose gratitude. We choose joy. Even in the midst of sorrow we can still choose joy.

Even when we lose someone we love.

Just like A.A. Milne wrote “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying good bye so hard.”

In this instance, I am ever so grateful that I have a belief in a God that is more expansive than that of my critics. This belief offers me more joy than sorrow. It allows me to be free of judging others. It allows me to be free of suffering their careless words.

It allows me to be me. My most authentic me, in fact. Because I am never happy when I hold on to suffering. I am never happy when I am holding judgement about someone. I am happy when I understand. And that is what happened that day.

I finally understood the difference and realized I had the power to neutralize it.

Because not only do I believe in a God who loves them anyway, but I also believe that God lives within me. So, when I say my God loves them anyway, it means I do too.

And that is choosing joy.

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If this article spoke to you, please share it on social media. If you are inspired to do so, leave a comment. If you’d like more information on Sacred Medicine, booking a session, or participating in a training please contact Jade at healingritesofpassage@gmail.com or by calling or texting us at 219-488-6176. Sessions are done locally in South East Michigan or remotely.