Healing Rites of Passage

As children we are taught that it is better to give than to receive

and as we grow older we realize there is indeed a gift in being the giver instead of just the receiver. This tends to validate the idiom “it’s better to give than to receive.”

But it’s a false positive.

A false positive is a seeming confirmation of a theory. Evidence that SEEMS to support a false or incomplete statement or belief.

Tis better to give than to receive is one of those false or incomplete statements or beliefs.

For someone who has received everything they needed, it feels really great to begin to give. A child, for instance, who grew up in a loving nurturing environment and is finally able to give gifts back to his or her parents feels a different satisfaction of giving gifts rather than just receiving them.

This is evidence of a self-actualized individual who is now ready to participate in the give and receive flow of life. You know the saying that you must fill your own cup to be able to give drink to another, right? You must have a well to draw from.

Instead, many grow up being told ‘its better to give than to receive’ by some adult who didn’t have their own well filled and selfishly continued the cycle. Thus, this child believes that ‘if I give then someone will give to me.’ That expectation is what causes the entire dynamic to implode. You can’t have expectations, much less ulterior motives, when you give.

The ‘blessing’ of giving is that it is a natural outcome of having received enough. 

EVERYTHING, and I do mean everything, requires balance. We cannot give UNLESS we receive. It is noted in nature everywhere. Too much sun is a drought. Too much rain is a flood. A nice balance is a thriving community.

Try just exhaling and never inhaling.

All of our life is designed to be like breathing. In and out. Give and receive. We need to give as much as we receive, and receive as much as we give. There must be a balance else we set up a block.

Many struggle with the concept of manifesting and they chase Law of Attraction programs, movies and literature one after another. However, if you have the basic premise that it is better to give than to receive, then no amount of ‘mindset’ work will work. You are giving the Universe mixed messages and when confused (and I use that tongue in cheek) the Universe will defer to the strongest vibration. The strongest vibration is the one most deeply rooted. (This is not always the ones programmed in your childhood, but often times the ones rooted through deep emotional trauma as well.)

You can be too focused on “what am I putting ‘out there’?” that you don’t focus on what you are not allowing ‘in here’. Understanding that is the difference between living the life you love and chasing the life you’d love to have.

Until you are willing to receive back all you give out, you will be denying what is inherently your birthright.