Feeling Victimized

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Looking back on my journey of awareness/consciousness/living resonantly, or whatever you want to call it, I find it interesting to note that when I have felt most victimized, I wasn’t being victimized at all and when I was actually being victimized I didn’t realize it!

When I believed in victimization, I felt victimized often when I was actually experiencing someone enforcing their own healthy boundaries. Thusly, when I was being exploited I had no idea. 

I felt I was being victimized even when I wasn’t, because I had a victim mentality. When emanating from a victim mentality only stories of victimization will be found. When asking for something and the answer is no, it feels personal. It hurts our feelings and we feel rejection. It feels personal. 

Its all an illusion though.

“No one can victimize you without your permission.” Have you heard that? I ask you this then…if you give your permission then how is it victimization?

*Let me insert here that I am not talking about being the victim of a violent crime.

Victimization is a mindset and as long as you live in it, you will continue to be victimized. How? Why? Simply by thinking so. The victim mindset has the negative origination that everything happens TO you. This leaves no room but for the perception that events are thrust upon us and therefore at life’s whim. We feel out of control and desperate. When things don’t go our way we can only understand that things are unfair and that we are being punished.

The simplest stumbling block can seem catastrophic. The most catastrophic event can make you feel broken. Everything is lose-lose, you see. When we operate from a negative orientation we see things only as comparisons. We can only be happy when things go as we plan, thus missing out on amazing gifts along the way.

On the other hand, when we release the victim mentality and embrace the hero’s mindset we experience life quite differently. We understand that while we may desire or even expect a certain outcome, we know we will receive it only if it is in our best interest. We recognize the healthy boundaries of others might require them to tell us no or do something we wish they hadn’t. Saying yes to oneself, sometimes means disappointing another. Disappointment is the responsibility of the owner.

When we become disappointed we gather important information. Disappointment tells us we are in the right neighborhood, wrong house. Sometimes what we want is correct, but we are off about how it is meant to arrive. Without disappointment we couldn’t know!!

And when our actions cause disappointment in another it is best to remember that we do not own the responsibility for it, but the duty to be understanding about it.

The hero’s mentality understands that in every situation lies an opportunity. An opportunity to define ourselves. It is not always pleasant. Iron is forged in fire, after all. We grow the most when we are challenged. Challenges don’t come with bouquets of flowers. They come in darkness to push you to find the Light. And they push hard.

They are not however, tests.

We don’t get tested. There is no pass or fail. There is only growth or no growth and you are free to choose either. You are not punished or rewarded for either. However, growth feels rewarding; lack of growth, feels punishing. The feeling of growing into your highest self is a high that cannot be replicated. The feeling of not growing into your highest self is called suffering.

Do not seek peace in a place without chaos. Instead seek peace inside you despite the chaos in any place.

Side note: the challenges don’t get easier as you grow. Nope. They will come fewer and further apart, however they will be whoppers. It’s tempting to slide back into ‘what did I do wrong?”

Think of it this way…

If you’ve become a spiritual badass, then the only things that will present any challenge to you at all, will have to be equally as badass. Don’t be tempted to fall into self-pity during these times. Our growth is not linear and we do not ascend to such a level that ‘bad things’ don’t happen to us. We merely do not see as many things as ‘bad’. We recover faster from these occasions as well. Where once something less impactful might have had us spiral into depression, now we might experience a deep sadness that we allow and move through.

With this I say goodnight and

I love you.



Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.

Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 

Join us for more conversation in our Facebook group Willow Song Firekeepers

As of now Jade is limiting the one on one work she does. For availability please email an inquiry.

To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.




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