“Empowering Women”

“Empowering Women” is big business right now. Or at least it is in my circles. I can’t scroll through Facebook without an add or a post from someone who describes their work as ’empowering women’.

These people seem to have successful businesses doing it. I say seem because who knows what is real. Anyone can say anything in their own advertising. Damn, you can even write your own testimonials. People are notorious for test driving fancy cars through fancy neighborhoods, taking a photo and presenting it as if it were their own manifestation. Yes, if you are paying attention, I am a little jaded – pun intended – on my own industry right about now. Because I don’t like tactics, or facades. I like real and authentic. But that’s another topic.

I do not and will not ever say I empower women. Women -actually, everyone – are born empowered. That Light that makes you alive is power. You always have it. You can’t lose it and I can’t give it to you. I can’t even do a ceremonial ritual to activate it in you. The very best I can do is ENABLE you to access it, because someone else DISABLED your access to it, prior. Honestly, all that disabling was an illusion anyway, so I’m really just pulling back the curtain. Its easier when you have the right tools, and I’ve been collecting them for a long time now.

What I’ve noticed lately in this empowerment culture, is a call to Sisterhood. What I’ve also noticed is that it is Sisterhoods run like The Boy’s Club. It is sisterhood as long as some one is doing poorly and those in power (hierarchy) can feel good about themselves lending a hand up.

Have you noticed that in a group of women when one puts herself down, makes herself small and criticizes herself, all the other women rally around and tell her how beautiful she is, how amazing she is, how much she has to offer and that she needs to find her voice to speak her truth?

Have you also noticed that, in that same group of women, when one who’s found her voice, speaks her truth compassionately, lends her educated opinion intelligently and offers to share her gifts generously, that same group of women put her ‘in her place’ and tear her down – telling her she is full of herself, opinionated, self-promoting and self-serving? “Polite” people will call her intimidating. (I’m not talking about those who practice the ‘fake it til you make it’ protocol. That is overcompensation, not authentic and not at all what I’m referencing here.)

I’ve watched it now, specifically for 6 months in various formats. So often I see women eager to raise up others they perceive to be beneath them, and tear down other women they perceive to be above them. Even more so, I see women aggressively tear down those they might feel are equal to them, because they see them as direct competition.

This is the Old Boy’s Club paradigm at work. They have divided us first from men, then from each other by race, religion and socioeconomic status. How smart that Boy’s Club is! We do all their dirty work for them! We take each other out for the smallest crumbs at the table. All they have to do then is take out the few that rise above the culling of the herd.

We have become our own worst enemy at exactly the worst time.

This world needs the Divine Feminine more than ever, but we have disabled ourselves. We have turned on each other and made it so we would each prefer to side with men, because at least there we know where we stand. We know what to expect. We know that we will be insulted to our face, not stabbed in the back. (And I think subconsciously, we think that is the path to power.)

Ever wonder why a woman would side with a man against all reason? Why when he treats her so poorly, she will stand with him against other women? Because of the Boy’s Club mentality. It is what has women support someone who openly admits that his power allows him to grab women by the pussy, and that those women think they are special because of it. It is why we immediately question a female victim’s motives, rather than supporting her in telling her story.

Like I said, the Boys did their jobs well.

It starts early and never seems to end. I experienced sexual harassment from a gang of girls in the sixth grade. My own mother threw me out of the house when she found out I’d reported my college teacher for sexual harassment. I experienced a gang of women chiding and making fun of me after I reported having been trapped in an office by a male co-worker unknown to me who made sexual references.

Have you seen this video circulating on Facebook?

You.

Must.

Watch.

We have too much been told we are too much. We have too much been dimmed. We have too much wounded one another in the race to the top of the pyramid. Enough!

Enough of the school yard bullying. Enough of the board room bullying. Enough! If you are a woman than your first inclination towards another woman needs to be kindness not competition. Boys have pit us against one another for far too long…since grade school for many of us. Enough.

I see so many women calling themselves warriors, boss bitches and even some who call themselves ‘spiritual gangsters’. This is not the way to embrace and honor the Divine Feminine! These are all men’s pants that women are putting on! We need to be the gentler strength. We need to be Queens and Goddesses! We need to be Maids, Mothers and Crones!! We need to embrace the strong woman archetypes of all variations, not just the ones that exhibit Divine Masculine.

We need to ‘beat’ them at our game, not try to play theirs. I just watched the most heart wrenching video of one of the most heroic women I have ever heard of. She isn’t a politician. She isn’t telling her ‘me too’ story. She hasn’t gone to the board room and declared war.

She was held captive and beaten for two days by her boyfriend, before she convinced him to take her and her dog to the veterinarian’s clinic. She then got out of eyesight of her boyfriend, wrote a note and slipped it to a tech behind the desk. In the note she states that she’s being threatened and her boyfriend has a gun. The staff went into action, put them in an isolated room and called the police without alerting anyone. The arrest was made smoothly without incident to her. Then she broke down while she displayed her bruises.

If you haven’t seen it, watch it here

It’s heart breaking but makes me so proud to be a woman. Never give up.

One woman had told her story in front of the nation and faced her accused abuser. I believe 100% of women need to support her, but I am shocked to find that not so. I do not understand.

And then today I see a video of a white woman who, without cause, barred a black gentleman from entering his own apartment building. And then I saw a post by a black woman who was reported to security and the police by a white man as she was going through her own trunk.

Underlying premise…people of color cannot have nice things.

What does that have to do with empowering women? 1) What if the roles had been reversed?  What if he had done that to her? And if she truly thought he didn’t belong why did she willingly lock herself into a confined space with him? 2) That white male…would he have called the police if he’d seen that black woman being raped instead of rummaging in her trunk? Or would he have chosen ‘not to get involved’?

I do not understand the society mindset today.

Women. We need to have each other’s backs and we need to not become douchebags and call it ‘asserting ourselves’.

Let’s be better.

I love you. I do. But some days…..

~Jade

 

 

Integration

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What do you know about integration?

To integrate: “verb [with object] 1 combine (one thing) with another so that they become a whole: transportation planning should be integrated with energy policy. combine (two things) so that they become a whole: the problem of integrating the two approaches. [no object] (of a thing) combine with another to form a whole: the stone will blend with the environment and integrate into the landscape”

Wow. Doesn’t that sound important? How often have you integrated new information on personal and spiritual development? How often have you heard healers, mentors or advisors speak on it? I’ve never heard anyone mention it.

When we introduce something new to our bodies, environments or minds we need to allow and effort to integrate the new ways/thoughts/ideas with what remains.

My husband and I are in the process of adopting a new dog. We have two already but there are many years between them and we thought the younger one would appreciate a playmate. When you bring a new dog into a family, you have to integrate it. You don’t just toss it in and hope for the best. The dynamics change and a new order must be established. You can expect fights, bites, growls and howls. You can expect at one time or another someone is going to be ready to call it quits (this might be you). You can expect that it will take time to do all these things.

The key is to keep your expectations low and your alert status high. Keep a watchful eye and nip any aggression in the bud. Redirect and allow for time out as necessary. Eventually things will fall into their own rhythm and peace will reign in your new expanded family.

The same is true for Rolfing (any energy healing too). If you’ve read my previous stuff you know I’ve been rolfing to attempt to relieve some physical symptoms I experience. Between sessions seven and eight she allows for integration. A period of time where no new sessions are done so that the body can catch up with the work that has been done and come to a new normal. A better normal. Thus the body integrates the new ways of operating.

During this time you can experience detoxing, aching, flu-like symptoms, fatigue, irritability and general discomfort. It might even get worse before it gets better (healing crisis). In short, you can expect fights, bites, growls and howls. You might even feel like calling it quits. Once your body adjusts and settles into the new commands your connective tissue is giving your muscles though, peace will reign in your new expanded body.

Our minds are no exception. When we discover new paradigms of thoughts/beliefs and introduce them into our lives we must allow for integration. Some old outdated thoughts/beliefs will be exchanged out simultaneously without issue. Still others will be forced out as the new set in. Still others will sort of fall off, without much mention, after the new has been allowed to integrate.

During this time you can experience irritability, discomfort, fear, anxiety and restlessness. You can expect fight, bites, growls and howls. You might even feel like calling it quits and just go back to the old paradigm. But once you introduce new paradigms it is hard to go back. Once you settle into the new rhythm, peace will reign in your new expanded mind. Then your Spirit will be joyous because your experience of it will be expanded as well.

Integration is likely the most important step of all -especially in personal/spiritual development- yet it is often overlooked. We live in an instant gratification society that leaves no room for integration. Today it is seek-find-ingest-move on. Where is the integration? It’s a little like shopping-purchasing-chewing-spitting out. Where is the digestion?  What good is the food if you are not digesting it? None, that’s what.

Integration of personal and spiritual development information allows for movement, acceptance and expression of the new shift.

  • Movement – allowance for the new balance to be established by the introduction of the new and replacement/reduction of the old.
  • Acceptance – to allow the new to work in your life on purpose, not default.
  • Expression – to practice this new way whenever possible – not to just ‘think it’ and retain old bad habits associated with the old (aka walk the talk).
But How?

Sit with it.

When you are introducing a new spiritual paradigm of thought, meditate on it. Sit in silence with it. Notice where it resonates (or doesn’t) in your body. What thoughts come up around it? What feelings come up around it? What emotions come up around it? Do you feel smaller or larger consciously because of it? Does it expand you?

Stand with it.

Challenge other related thoughts and beliefs you hold against the resonance of the new. When you’ve sat with something and decided that it does indeed resonate with you then weigh it against related beliefs that you’ve long just grown accustomed to. You might find that they too have outgrown their usefulness and will be replaced or just merely drop away. How does the new fit in with the old? Look for consistency and congruence. Something that is true will be true in all scenarios (with some exceptions, perhaps), so play devil’s advocate with yourself. Challenge yourself to think bigger with this new paradigm. See what else it shakes loose.

Walk with it.

Take it out for a spin around the block. Start conversations with others about it. If you don’t have any friends who get into this sort of thing there are many people on the internet exploring just these subjects (hint hint). Reach out. Conversations about such things are free. While asking for free advice on specific personal issues is not appropriate, opening up exploratory conversations is generally welcomed by all. Share your process, your conclusions and your expectations of what this new paradigm could do for you. Entertain whatever questions or doubts they might share with you. This is your chance to see if what you’re integrating has merit.

Then wear it.

Don’t be ashamed of your new shift. Wear it proudly. While it may be tempting to ‘shout it from the rooftops’ that can be obnoxious. So shout if you must, but expect you’ll turn a lot of people off. If that helps you integrate, then by all means don’t let putting people off deter you. I however, prefer to just wear it into a room. What that means is that I let the Universe determine when the information needs to be shared. When a subject comes up that relates to my belief I share it. I do it in the best possible way for it to be heard. Sharing things in certain ways will guarantee rejection before that other person really even hears it. Wording things in a non-threatening manner allows for the maximum amount of people to hear it and expand with it.

That’s integration – in a nutshell.

Questions? Start a conversation with me at jadewillowsong@gmail.com or in my too quiet facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/willowsongfirekeepers/

And as always remember…

I love you.

~Jade

 

 

Let’s Talk “Spiritual Bypass”

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Have you heard this term?

It has become a new buzzword in the personal and spiritual development worlds. First of all, I find it redundant. What I understand spiritual bypass to be is nothing more than regular old denial/distraction, with a spiritual flavor. No need to call it something else.

Secondly, its really convenient for those who wish to stay stuck to have a really special name to discount the next step of growth.

Spiritual bypass: just another name for denial/distraction

Denial is ignoring that a problem exists and when we are in denial we tend to distract ourselves from the work to alleviate the problem.

If you’ve been following me you’ve probably heard me say at some time that anything can be an addiction. Anything. ANY. THING.

When we think of addiction, we think of things like recreational drugs, alcohol, and prescription drugs. Then we might think of gambling, shopping and sex. Rarely will you think of work, exercise or even relationships. Anything is an addiction if you are using it to avoid processing something.

That said, spirituality can indeed become an addiction and used to usurp the current human experience you are facing and deny yourself the experience of feelings. This, from what I understand, is spiritual bypass. But its not just a bypass, its an addiction.

Spiritual bypass is when one avoids the icky sticky messy feelings of our experiences by explaining them away as ‘meant to be’ or ‘serving our highest good’. It isn’t the philosophy (‘meant to be’ or ‘serving our highest good’), its the using of it to dismiss the experience and not engage in it in the moment.

Every event in our lives needs to be processed. This is why repressed memories reap issues many years later. Like undigested food in our gut, these memories unprocessed by our mind and spirit will infect our body. Can you imagine what would happen if we had undigested food sitting in our intestines for years?

We can’t develop shortcuts to avoid the real work. Just like you can’t eat junk food, take diet pills but work out obsessively to be healthy.

Convenient label

More than a few times I’ve had the term ‘that’s spiritual bypass’ thrown at me while discussing changing perspectives to look at something in a new way to find healing. There’s no questioning, just a venomous application of the label and attempt to incite an argument.

How convenient. How nice to have a handy little term that relieves you of your obligation to improve. Don’t like what someone says when you want your victimization validated? Just accuse them of spiritual bypass. And wait until you see how many people are ready to jump in on that ambush! WOW!

It’s easy to understand how some could see it this way. In fact, there was a time when I also had that same response (without the label) to something the Dalai Lama said about attachment or suffering. I’m not sure, because now, no matter how many quotes I read, I can find nothing that resembles what I thought I read back then. What I remember clearly is this visceral reaction to someone taking away the justification I had for experiencing more suffering than is necessary.

I remember thinking, ‘that is usurping the human experience’. But as I continued to expand spiritually, I came to realize that honest emotion is not suffering – and not to what he was referring. Honest emotion are the normal human emotions we are meant to experience as part of this human being-ness.

That’s what we can’t shortcut our way through. The other stuff though. The stuff implanted into our brains by well-meaning and not-so-well-meaning individuals that creates premises that foster unnecessary suffering.

When we understand things as ‘meant to be’ or ‘serving our highest good’ after feeling the emotion of loss (for instance), we use the painful experience to expand. Pain is not equivalent to suffering. Suffering is the unnecessary struggle between your highest self and the conditioning of society. Pain is the wound, suffering is the infection.

The wound is grief after the loss of a loved one. Suffering is, after the initial period of grieving, delving into deep depression because of a belief that we only get one true love in life and you just lost yours. Suffering sets in at the time that healing should be beginning.

A compliment

More recently the term spiritual bypass was tossed at me in response to an inspired post I made about a tough subject. I love important discussions and this one was/is super important. Not only did someone I consider a spiritual mentor suggest my thoughts were spiritual bypass, but another suggested it was ignorant.

I was taken aback, to say the least. Not about the the second one, but about my spiritual mentor. I was shocked and shock leads to shift. (Ever notice that?) I realized that the image I had created in my mind about this ‘mentor’ was entirely fabricated. It was based on ego – mine actually – my idea that this ‘mentor’ was something I wasn’t and had something I didn’t. So, I was totally shocked when she couldn’t see my point and mentioned spiritual bypass. I could see so clearly how this situation is just a further evolution of the spiritual laws and beliefs that she and I had discussed and that she teaches. Why couldn’t she?

It wasn’t until writing this that I realized being accused of spiritual bypass is a compliment if you’re living resonantly. If you are living resonantly, you can’t inadvertently slip into any addiction, let alone spiritual bypass. You can’t. You spend too much time analyzing, weighing and pondering the vibration of things to be in denial! Those vibrations don’t align! Someone telling you that you are ‘spiritual bypassing’ when you have given your idea much thought and reflection is a great compliment. It means you’ve vibrated past wherever they are and have been tasked with presenting them with an opportunity to expand! What a gift that is to both!

If you are one, quick to call ‘spiritual bypass’ make sure you aren’t the one on bypass…

 

I love you.

~Jade

PS – The June 16th event is closed. July 14th is the next available Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat and Workshop. Make sure you register before this one closes too! If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to feel pure joy, heal old traumas or do energy healing. We’ll be doing all that and more. If you’ve felt blocked or stifled on your journey then this is the perfect opportunity to explore alternative therapies and perspectives that will enhance your experience of life.

 

 

Don’t Be “The Bigger Person”

black-and-white-people-bar-men.jpgYou’ve had a conflict with another person. Things may have gotten out of control and both sides are hurt. You may think the other person is at fault or at least at greater fault. At one point someone suggests you apologize and you reject that notion. That person then says to you, “be the bigger person” and you reluctantly decide to make the first move towards resolution.

Chances are that resolution wasn’t as successful as you would’ve liked. In fact, it may have even made things worse and you might be wondering why.

When you label yourself ‘bigger’, you are -by default- labeling them ‘smaller’ and it immediately sets up an energetic power struggle. “Bigger” is a relative term, which means it has no meaning without reference to something “smaller”. Energetically this is communicated through any interaction then.

You continue the conflict (power struggle) by putting the other person down energetically and with your language. You can’t help it. If being the bigger person is your motivation then all action from that place will be tainted. Can you feel the difference between these two ‘apologies’?

I’m sorry if your feelings were hurt. I’m sorry you felt that way and that you took what I said wrong.

 

I’m sorry. I never intended for your feelings to get hurt and I apologize that what I said caused you pain.

Can you feel the difference in the energy?!

The first one is passive-aggressive and is pretty typical of someone who is coming from a bigger/smaller place.

While we are not responsible for how someone else feels, we are accountable for our actions and our actions impact others whether we intend for them to or not. I think it is important to understand the intent of our actions, realize there can be miscommunication even with the best of intentions and there need not be ‘fault’ assigned, when accepting accountability. Just clear transparent communication.

If you can’t come to a conflict resolution open hearted with no power struggle strings, then you are not ready for conflict resolution. Wait until you can come to the table with an open heart.

Unless/until you can come with an open heart, the resolution won’t have a solid foundation for a conflict free future and the only point to conflict resolution, is to build a conflict free future. This can’t be done if egos are running amok and the ego is surely running amok if the only way you can think about doing the ‘right’ thing is to consider yourself the bigger person.

Conflict resolution isn’t about getting one over on another. It isn’t about proving anything to anyone. Its about clearing energy from your heart center and improving the vibration between two (or maybe more) parties. Its only about ‘winning’ if both parties are winning. It isn’t about being a better person than the other, merely a better version of your self.

Here’s the thing…

Conflict resolution isn’t necessary unless you create conflict. There is actually a way to live your life in such a way to minimize or even eliminate conflict in a healthy way.

I can hear your disbelief. “Conflict is a part of life” you think, but it isn’t. Conflict, by definition is a “serious and protracted disagreement or argument”. Not seeing eye to on a topic isn’t an automatic conflict. It’s when people believe there is one ‘right’ perspective and endeavor to impose that on others, demanding agreement, that conflict ensues. Simple seeing things differently is not conflict, its perspective.

Now, here are four steps to live your life to minimize if not eliminate conflict healthfully.

  1. Let go of winning.
  2. Disagreements are not automatic conflicts.
  3. Conflict resolution does not equal confrontation.
  4. Shift from the negative to the positive.
Let go of winning

When you are aligned you realize there is no ‘right or wrong’. There is what resonates with you and what does not. You cannot speak for another on the subject of resonating. What resonates with you may resonate with another, but you can never know if it resonates in the same way because neither of you can know the experience of the other! All you can do is trust your inner self, when you are most connected to Spirit to determine what resonates with you. The goal is not to win but to expand!

Disagreements are not automatic conflicts

Speaking to one another with respect and understanding, focusing as much on understanding another as we do on being understood by another is primary to eliminating conflict from your life. Transparency means being authentic without the fear of reprisal or harm. Approaching a problem from two different perspectives is a wonderful way to find the best solution. When you eliminate the need to win from a disagreement, you are automatically opened up to explore the limitless possibilities of outcomes and conflict isn’t even a ‘thing’.

Conflict Resolution does not equal Confrontation

If you do end up in conflict and find yourself approaching conflict resolution, it is important to understand that conflict resolution does not equal confrontation. Confrontation is hostile, conflict resolution is not. It can be uncomfortable (remember what we said about uncomfortable in the intimidation article) but it not hostile. True Conflict resolution, by its very name, will focus on the resolution not the conflict. Whereas confrontation has the aggressiveness built in, defenses are up and an implied right/wrong dynamic exists.

 

Shift from negative to positive

I’ve saved the first for last. Yes, you read that right. The very first thing you need to do to eliminate conflict from your life is to shift from the negative to the positive. Why did I save it for last? Because if you remember nothing else from this post, I want you to remember this…it is the single most important and powerful thing you can do for the betterment of your life. I have many people confess to me that they wish to be more positive but find themselves stuck in the negative. That is understandable. You were taught to be negative, you weren’t born that way. So, you have to unlearn it in a matter of speaking and relearn to be positive. There is one simple two step trick to making the switch.

The first step is to be aware of your negativity. Pay attention to your thoughts and your words. When you find yourself focusing on the negative, even if it is simply how something didn’t live up to your expectations, notice it. Be aware that you are focusing on the ‘lack’ of something rather than the ‘gift’ of something.

Once you have gotten used to noticing your negativity, the second step is to double up on the positive. What does this mean? For every negative thing you think or say, you counter with two positives. Say you are out to dinner with friends and the waiter forgets the tea you ordered. You find yourself feeling irritated and make a snide remark to your dinner companions. You hear it. Now you find two positive things to say about the waiter. Yes, say them out loud, after all you complained out loud, didn’t you? Maybe the waiter brought you extra rolls or had a pleasant demeanor.

Making this change is conscious, which means it will take effort to 1) notice the negative and 2) double up the positive. However, the shift you will be making will cascade out to all parts of your life. You will be more conscious of how your mind works and whether or not your attention is on the negative of life or the positive (aka the lack or the gifts). Remember that life will bring you whatever you purchase with your attention. (It’s a little like Amazon.com that way!)

All right, this has been sitting in my drafts folder for too long now, so I’m going to hit publish and know that it is on it’s way to those who need to hear this message the most.

As always, remember…

I love you!

~Jade

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.

Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 

Join us for more conversation in our Facebook group Willow Song Firekeepers

As of now Jade is limiting the one on one work she does. For availability please email an inquiry.

To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

 

 

 

 

What Is A Strong Person?

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On my Facebook page I asked “When you think of a strong person, what comes to mind?” Inquiring into behaviors, actions, thoughts and philosophies. The answers were many an varied. Some I resonated with, some I did not. What I loved was the conversation we were having.
When I think of strong individuals I look to those who have experienced challenges and grown from them by becoming ‘better not bitter’. That’s the bottom line.
 
It is not someone who hides their truth and puts on a false smile. It is someone who feels the feels, cries the tears, then dries them and finds the takeaway.
 
It is someone who goes out of their way to do no harm, including doing no harm to his own self. Thus, it is NOT someone who cares more about others, than they do themselves, but instead, one who cares about others AS MUCH as they care about themselves.
 
It is someone who speaks truth, but in a kind way when it is most likely to be heard with an open heart.
 
It is someone who has suffered pain but keeps her heart open to those who show up and do the work.
 
It is also the someone who shows up and does the work.
 
It is someone who pushes through and assists others on the path, not run them over.
 
It is someone who has every reason and opportunity to be angry but chooses to love. It is someone who loves himself first and lets that love flow unto others.
 
It is someone who does not see things in ‘right or wrong’ or ‘fair’. It is someone who realizes everyone’s journey is different and has value.
 
It is someone who is not in competition to be better or worse than her sister/brother, but interested in being better than her self, yesterday.
 
I know a lot of strong women. I know a lot of strong men. I know a lot of individuals who think they are strong and are not (not for the reasons they think that is). I know a lot of individuals who think they are not strong but really are.
 
Your default setting is set on strong. You are strength incarnated because you are unconditional love and what could be stronger than that??!! There is nothing stronger than that!!! We can be convinced by societal conditioning that we are not strong because of thus and so. Its a lie. A misnomer. Misinformation. Hogwash.
 
Find your strength and choose better not bitter.
I love you!
~Jade

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.

Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 

Join us for more conversation in our Facebook group Willow Song Firekeepers

As of now Jade is limiting the one on one work she does. For availability please email an inquiry.

To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

Healing Crisis or Negative Consequence?

There are signs everywhere.

Interpreting the messages of Life can be tricky at best, overwhelming at worst. Its something I pride myself on having figured out. I have been called the “Queen of Reframing” and a “Mystic Midwife” because I’ve developed the skill of interpreting Life’s Language.

It wasn’t always this easy for me, not when I was using an outdated and corrupt ‘Life to English’ dictionary. I had to ferret out the false leads and influences to find out what messages Life was really sending me, rather than the propaganda I was being fed.

With time and attention I cracked the code and became affluent in Life Language. Now, I gladly share my knowledge, experience and expertise with others looking to gain a new understanding of Life and its messages.

Navigating Life without understanding its language feels a lot like stumbling around in the dark searching for your glasses. (Even if you find them, how will they help?)

How many times have you wondered if you are doing the ‘right’ thing to get what you want? Or maybe, you did the ‘right’ thing, but it brought you undesired results? Or maybe it brought you no results at all?

How many times have you tried a new exercise routine, diet, self-help formula or mindset shift only to find yourself saying ‘it didn’t work’ or ‘it only made things worse.’

If you are serious about improving your experience of life and pursuing the path of self-development then one of the foremost keys to decoding Life (and it’s language) is to discern between a Negative Consequence and a Healing Crisis. This is a very specific message with which most people on the self-development journey have trouble.

Example

You discover my Release Resistance program and enroll. You diligently do your work for a week or so and you feel great while you do it, but then ‘something’ happens to distract you. Its usually something moderate, sometimes something HUGE, but it distracts you from your work. It can be anything; illness, family emergency, money issues (credits or deficits), work etc. 

You forget about the program and settle back into your old patterns of behavior. You do what you’ve always done, and experienced what you’ve always experienced. Then an undesired experience comes along and you decide ‘nothing’s changed.’ 

A few months or maybe even a few years later you are reminded of the program and declaring ‘nothing’s changed’, you think to yourself  “Eh, that Jade and her stuff didn’t work for me.” 

Oh, didn’t it?

If you knew how to discern between Healing Crisis and Negative Consequence you could see that the program did work, but you stopped working it. (This goes for not only any service of mine but any other Shaman, Medicine Person, Mindset Manager, Healer etc. as well.)

Negative Consequence

When something – a program, a technique, an action or a belief – brings a negative consequence; it separates you from your highest self. It breaks down the healthy relationships you have and supports the pathological ones.

It is a result of making a choice that goes against what your Soul has planned for you. It brings you pain, but it also brings you another opportunity to make a different choice.

Negative Consequences show up as (not an all inclusive list):

  • dating the same type of person over and over and having the same negative endings
  • jobs that do not feed your passion
  • losing consecutive jobs
  • never getting ahead financially
  • never feeling fulfilled or happy
  • chronic feelings of isolation

Healing Crisis

When something – a program, a technique, an action or a belief – causes a Healing Crisis; it brings you face to face with your highest self. It breaks down the pathological relationships you have and supports the healthy ones.

It is a direct result of actions you have taken that bring you more into alignment with your Soul’s purpose.

Healing Crises show up as (not an all inclusive list):

  • break up in a pathological relationship
  • getting fired from a job that makes you ill
  • getting acutely sick (flu, cold, bronchitis, broken appendage…)
  • losing friends/relationships where the giving is one-sided
  • losing opportunities that reflect old patterns (safe options)
  • experiences outside your comfort zone

 

Now let’s revisit the example and label it.

Example Revisited

You discover my Release Resistance program and enroll. You diligently do your work for a week or so and you feel good while you do it, but then ‘something’ happens to distract you. (healing crisis) Its usually something moderate, sometimes something HUGE, but it distracts you from your work. It can be anything; illness, family emergency, money issues (credits or deficits), work etc. 

You forget about the program and settle back into your old patterns of behavior. You do what you’ve always done, and experienced what you’ve always experienced. Then an undesired experience comes along and you decide ‘nothing’s changed.’ (negative consequence)

A few months or maybe even a few years later you are reminded of the program and declaring ‘nothing’s changed’, you think to yourself  “Eh, that Jade and her stuff didn’t work for me.” 

Analysis

When you employ new strategies in self-development it is a LOT like creating a garden. You stir stuff up. Your job is to clear the field and make the ground ready to receive healthy new seeds, to provide an environment that is optimal for growth.

First you clear the field of rocks, branches, dead trees etc, then you dig up the surface and uproot weeds and wayward grasses. In this process you will find things you never expected to…things like hornet’s nests, ant colonies, buried trash, broken glass and sometimes even buried treasure.

In this process if you take a step back it will seem as if you’ve made more of a mess of things than anything else. Those who decided they are only making things worse will back out of the project at this point and let the weeds and grass takeover again. They will continue to experience negative consequences. Others, who see this as the healing crisis it is, will hike up their sleeves and begin to dig even deeper.

 

Buried Treasure

What’s super tricky is when the healing crisis doesn’t look like a crisis at all.

If we go back to the example…

You discover my Release Resistance program and enroll. You diligently do your work for a week or so and you feel good while you do it, but then ‘something’ happens to distract you. (healing crisis) Its usually something moderate, sometimes something HUGE, but it distracts you from your work. It can be anything; illness, family emergency, money issues (credits or deficits), work promotion or demotion etc. 

You are going along, working the program and complete, say 7 of the 23 lessons and an amazing opportunity comes along. Maybe its a new job, a windfall, an answer to a prayer or any sort of positive experience. This event is a direct result of your work, but it will draw attention away from your work if you let it.

And if you let that happen you are at risk of returning to old patterns because your ego will tell you that the event is not related to the work you were doing. Your ego will tell you it is coincidence, unless you already understand that there is no such thing.

And despite the positive event, you will end up incurring more negative consequences.

I’ve seen individuals drop out of their work midstream as soon as they experience a little of what they see as ‘success’.

Things I’ve seen happen (not an all inclusive list):

  • getting your dream job, then losing it
  • finding a good relationship and sabotaging it
  • experiencing a windfall and making bad financial decisions
  • buying a house and not being able to afford to keep it
  • being offered a publishing deal and having it rescinded

Commitment

When you are on the self-development path, commitment is your most powerful tool. It keeps you from backsliding, sabotaging and just plain giving up. It powers you to move forward no matter what illusion is shattering in front of you.

So, how can you tell that a program/action/belief/mindset shift etc… is actually working for you???? If something happens after you begin using it. There is no such thing as coincidence.

If something –anything– happens after you’ve signed up for a new regime (yes, that’s right, you don’t even have to actually begin the work for the benefits to come forth), then its a safe bet that it is working for you and you need to keep going. Don’t have expectations of how you think something will work, or what the results ‘should’ be (remember we eliminated the word ‘should’ from our vocabulary!) And if ‘something’ happens for Pete’s sake stick with it!!! Its working! Keep going at it! Leave your old patterns behind you and stride confidently into your new future!

“But what if I don’t think the program is for me?” 

That’s a fair question and my answer is, ‘you’ll know’. What I mean to say is it will feel like it isn’t a good fit from the beginning…down in your soul. It will not resonate. I use that word specifically because ‘resonate’ is different than ‘comfortable’. We aim for discomfort on our journeys of self-discovery. We also aim to live by our intuition.

If you went your whole life wearing your shoes on the wrong feet, you’d be accustomed to it and it would feel comfortable (aka familiar). And if someone came along and told you to switch your shoes and you did, it would feel uncomfortable (aka unfamiliar) but it would feel right somehow and you would instinctively know this was good for you. If, on the other hand, someone came along and told you to switch your shoes, but wear a size smaller, it would be both uncomfortable and not feel good (notice there is a difference between uncomfortable and not feeling good). And what if someone else came along and encouraged you to continue to wear your shoes on the wrong feet, just wear a larger size?

What do you think your experience of that would be??

See, if you are truly tapping into your intuition (which good self-discovery programs do) then you will know what resonates with you and what doesn’t.

Stay committed to yourself. When you find something that resonates with you, don’t turn your back on it. Don’t let yourself get distracted. Don’t stop yourself short at the buried treasure. And for your own sake don’t stop just because you dug up a hornet’s nest! Keep going. You are SO worth it!

Here’s to having more healing crises!!!

I love you.

~Jade

If you are so inclined, check out my services page to find the service that fits you and your wallet. 

 

 

My Magick Medicine

I was tasked by a mentor to write about my medicine in an exercise. 

I have the capability to see what isn’t seen and hear what hasn’t been said, to heal what hasn’t been healed. The magic to make the scariest moment totally surmountable.

From the moment someone contacts me, if we are a good match the healing energy begins to flow. I don’t even know if I’m ‘supposed’ to manage that or if that is just what is meant to be. It no longer drains me, I manage that, so perhaps this is how I know when we are in sync? This healing can be so powerful -even before commitments are made- that often that is all people need from me.

I create a space of pure self-empowerment. I empower no one. I only remove the layers of density in place that have convinced my clients of their powerlessness; like Michelangelo released David from the Marble.

I support, assist and facilitate. I facilitate opportunities for experiential exploration, assist is looking/interpreting them and support finding one’s own answers. This is the true Medicine Woman way. Not to fix things, but to allow the Self to realize there is no brokenness to fix.

Having a Medicine Woman support you is rather like the difference between using GPS and a map. GPS will tell you exactly how to get there, with (hopefully) no missteps. It tells you exactly how long it will take there and will suggest detours when delays occur. But with GPS you don’t learn how to navigate your own path.

But a Medicine Woman is like a map. She is a tool that presents  ALL the possible routes to get you where you want to go, which route do YOU want to travel? Which one suits you? If you get caught in a relationship/job/mindset, what way do YOU think is best to continue your journey? You learn how to navigate your own path which is a lifelong beneficial skill.

As always….

I love you.

 

~Jade

 

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.

Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 

To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.

The What If Game

We spend a lot of time asking ‘what if’ yet we rarely, if ever, ask it to our benefit. Normally, it is some form of ‘what if I fail?’

 Today I was afforded an opportunity to explore ‘what if there is no failure?’

What if I totally mess up in some way but it all works out anyway? What if in ‘messing it up’ my real self is given the stage to reveal itself and that attracts a clients/partner/employer/opportunity that might not otherwise have appeared? What if in failing I actually succeed? What then would my story be? 

I was raised in a climate where there was one path to success and it was measured by money. I learned a certain hierarchy: You start in an hourly wage job, you go to college, graduate, move up to a salaried position and then increase your salary each year. You work for a corporation that paid benefits and you started your 401K right away. If you were over 28 working at an hourly wage you weren’t considered succeeding.

So, imagine how much pre-programming I have to overcome to consider myself successful today? I work on an hourly basis. I do not work for a corporation. I do not have lots of money in the bank. I do not have paid benefits. Yet, I have never felt more successful in my life!

 

You know…I just realized that as I wrote it.

 

I have never felt more successful in my life, than I do right now.

I have a partner who supports me unconditionally. I have a grown daughter who values me, is filled with wisdom and is living from her heart. I have good relationships with my stepson and his whole family. I have great friends and a wonderful sister. I do not have to go to a job every day that makes me sick.

 

Every day life gets bigger for me. I am allowed and encouraged to explore my personal development to its fullest ends. Each day I expand (or die). And I haven’t even hit the best part yet! I get to assist others in their expansion as well! As fun as it is for me to personally expand, multiply that by 100,000 when I assist others in their expansion. Honestly. Nothing gives me more joy than doing a Qi Energy session, or an intuitive Qi card reading or even just having a general support contact. What is even better then is when those people go on to help others! It is so inspiring to be part of the ripple of life!

 

So, back to ‘what if’….

 

What if instead of imagining everything that could go ‘wrong’, I imagine that nothing can go wrong because it always goes exactly as it needs to for my highest good? What if I judge myself ‘successful’ instead of ‘unsuccessful’? What if I err on the side of YES! instead of caution? What if I go all out in every single present moment? What if instead of playing small (safe), I reserve no action, thought or inspiration? What if instead of holding back I allow inspiration to direct my every movement?

 

Well, then I’d be a lot more successful than I already feel!

 

If you play the ‘What If Game’ upgrade to the 2.0 version. We know that we are full of unlimited possibilities, so make a contract with yourself that every time you think “what if I fail?”, balance that thought with “what if I succeed?”. “What if I make a mistake?” means you also have to ask “what if I make no mistakes?” Eventually, move yourself to the 3.0 version where you mostly ask “What if everything turns out better than I envision?”

 

What if?

 

What if I loved you?

 

Well, I do!

 

~Jade

 

PS I am always actively looking for new collaborators in expansion. Strong spiritual individuals intent on exploring the unending path of spiritual, emotional and mental development. If you think that I can assist you, please feel free to send me a message to see if we are a good match!

Jade’s work is different and we think you will find it effective and economic. It combines Jade’s knowledge and skills cultivated over three decades of psychiatry, human services, hospice, geriatrics, crystal healing, QiGong, Reiki, and Therapeutic Touch with her natural Spirit given gifts of intuition and being an empath.
Check out our Healing Rite of Passage Me-Treat & Workshops for 2018 
To schedule services please review options here and email Jade here to make arrangements.